He grabbed my chin and tilted my face up to his. I stopped the counting, but I couldn’t look him in the eyes. “Do you hear me?” he asked and waited, but I had nothing to say, nothing helpful anyway. “Look at me.” My eyes shifted over and met his dead-on. “There are rules, Katarina.” I cringed and glanced away at my name. My name left a sour taste in my mouth. I didn’t like Katarina anymore; I didn’t like anything about her. He waited patiently for me to look back at him.
“I am assuming you know the rules or you wouldn’t be in a club built for domination,” he mused. I glanced away again, completely out of my element with this strange man I thought I loved. “Okay, let me refresh for you, assuming I am the one you want to be your master.” I smiled and held back a giggle at the word ‘master’. He smiled back, but it was much more sinister, like he held a pocketful of secrets. “Can I assume, because you are standing in front of me naked, you want me, and not the previous man you were kissing?” That made my smile drop and my eyes widen in shock. I gradually nodded, my eyes never leaving his. “Say it.”
“Yes, you can assume that.” I kept my answer brief. I felt like I knew this game already; I just never expected it from him, someone I saw as my protector. This was definitely a head down, speak-when-you’re-spoken-to kind of moment.
“You will do what I ask of you. You will not speak unless I ask you to, not to anyone. Do you understand? It’s about trust, Katarina.” When he said my name again, I looked away feeling nauseated. He was quietly waiting for me and didn’t continue until my eyes were tied to his. “You will not look at anyone else in the eyes except for me, head down always, unless I say otherwise.” Silence filled the room for long, drawn-out moments, and all I could think about was how warm I felt in his arms when he held me in the dark room.
“I am going to call you Josephine.” I was confused by his words. Why would he call me by my middle name? “It’s only for in the bedroom and for when I want to get your attention. You can call me Sir in here, only in here. Do not use it sarcastically. Do you understand, Josephine?” I smiled when he said my middle name and a nice warmth spread through my body. He winked at me and I wanted to lick the crease in his cheek. This was my Jason.
“Yes, I understand…Sir.” He smiled at my answer and closed his eyes, like he was relishing the feel of a breeze. He never touched me; his gaze traveled slowly over my body and I got goose bumps. The sudden excitement of having someone look at me that way was addictive.
“Why the whip?” He studied me and I couldn’t speak. My heart dropped into my stomach and the sexual rush I just had was immediately gone, replaced by visions of my father whipping and his awful voice. “Josephine, I asked a question,” he persisted, and I opened my mouth, but couldn’t find the right words. I attempted to swallow instead. His dark green eyes waited patiently.
“I want to leave.” I changed my mind. I stood completely motionless, waiting for him to say it was okay to leave. I knew it was silly, but years of programming told me I better not move.
Jason’s eyes lightened only slightly, but he didn’t back down. “Tell me. I decide when we leave.”
My head fell forward in defeat, not wanting to be there, but not wanting to be anywhere else. I thought Jason was different, but he was the same, and I felt the loss of him all over again. My heart was being torn from my body. I closed my eyes, attempting to get into character, but I couldn’t pretend any longer. I opened my eyes and tears began overflowing. I tried to make them stop, but it hurt, like I was swallowing a large rock. He didn’t move, just watched impassively, waiting for my answer.
Hot tears streamed down my cheeks, rolling down my neck and over my breasts, and I didn’t want to tell him why I was crying. I knew he wouldn’t believe me, and that would hurt more than a broken heart. I thought he would think I was a liar, an attention seeker. I pleaded with my eyes for him to drop it, but it didn’t work, so I confessed, “I see him whipping me, whipping me with his belt.” I had to look away, because I knew he was going to say something nasty, but he didn’t. I peeked up nervously.
“I watched him whip the blonde and now it’s all I see, but it’s not her; it’s me.” Tears continued streaming down my face, because even if by some miracle he believed what I was saying, I would be flawed and broken in his eyes, and not perfect, but Jason said nothing. “If you whip me, the visions will change and I won’t be scared to sleep.” I let out a deep breath and suddenly felt really cold; my body began to shiver. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to make my body numb, and started counting…multiplying.
Jason’s arms were suddenly around me, and then he was cradling me. His hold was so tight I couldn’t breathe, but it was welcomed. His passionate touch was always welcomed; he freed me from my thoughts, from my demons. I relaxed in his arms and laid my head against his chest, straining to hear his heart. He started to move; I didn’t know where he was taking me, but it didn’t matter. My back hit a firm mattress and I opened my eyes. Jason was on top of me, caging me underneath him. “Thank you for trusting me.” I felt more tears prickle my eyes at his words. He believed me. Jason began kissing my body. He was intense, unleashed, and I relaxed into the bed and enjoyed every touch, every kiss, and every hair on his head that tickled my sensitive skin.
“Oh, Katarina, I have missed you.” His voice was soft, and I wasn’t sure if it was meant for me to hear.
I ran a hand through his hair very gently, just wanting to feel him, confirming he was real and not some sort of dream. When he peered up at me from my stomach because of the contact, I whispered back, “Please, it’s Josephine.” He flashed his sexy grin and it made my belly tremble, and in that moment, I relinquished all my control, serving it up on a flesh-covered platter. “I missed you…more.”
He crawled up my body. His lips feathered over mine…once, and then twice. He was breathing me in, and said, “No kissing.” I nodded, not understanding why, but feeling like it was a very bad sign. He started licking and biting me, running his wet mouth and sharp teeth down my neck and over my shoulder, groans leaving his mouth and vibrating throughout me as he began his grinding. I tilted my hips slightly so I could feel his erection through his slacks. He was my every sensation, and my mind was wrapped around the growing, addictive twinge in my sex.
He stopped his gyrating, but continued to dominate my body with his mouth, feeding on me, rubbing his face and whiskers along my hypersensitive skin. He paused, and I felt the hot air leave his lungs as he took a second to gather his breath and then dove back in. He pulled away from my nipples only for a moment as he mumbled things to himself under his breath. He crawled up my body and leaned over to my ear. “Get off on me.” It was an order, and I was not about to let him down.
His legs were heavy on the bed, and I tilted my hips, found his thick bulge, and I moved against him. I wrapped my legs around his ass and rubbed my bundle of nerves along the front of his pants over, and over, and holy shit over. I continued, and he pulled away from hovering over my mouth to whisper in my ear. Just the sound of his raspy, breathy whisper made me thrust my hips faster and in longer sweeps. His body began to stiffen, but the load of pleasure that flushed through my system was too powerful for me to stop or even slow down. My heart raced, my body slick with sweat, and his loud grunts and swear words reminded me of how fully aroused he was. It was so good…so overwhelming.
When his body relaxed a bit and I felt his shoulder muscles turn from steel to flesh again, he found his position over my neck and ear again. “Use your hand,” he instructed as he inhaled my neck. I swallowed and my eyes rolled back from the contact. Then, I slid my hand down and rested it on my clit. He moved down my body and put his mouth over my fingers. I did small circles as he fucked me with his tongue. His humming vibrated against my clit, his hot tongue ran over my fingers, and I came. I came and he continued to lick me, not wasting a single drop that flooded out of me. After everything came back into focus and I was no longer floating on a cloud, Jason was over me, naked this time.
I adjusted to the size of him quickly, savored the ease in, and relished the pull out. His thick head dragged gradually inside me, like he was lighting a match to the fuel that was rushing between my legs. He switched from savory mode just as he bottomed out inside me the second time. His groans were impossible not to be affected by, because I felt the vibrations as they rumbled over my entire body. He slammed into me and stilled. My eyes flickered directly up to his at his urgency. He licked his lips carefully, savoring the taste of me on his mouth while flashing me a wicked smile.
Butterflies rioted in my core, and more liquid rushed to my sex. My body was readying itself for his rough use. He started moving without warning, glancing down at my bouncing breasts, running his finger over the tip, and then bending down and pinching and nibbling the tip before moving to the next breast and continuing the torture. He fucked me and played with me, and I forgot everything including how to breathe. It felt surreal, as if it was someone else and I just borrowed her body for this one moment in time. My senses were overloaded, my mind completely blank, and I felt every drop of sweat from his forehead onto my face, every glide of slick skin, and every heavy breath all over my body.
And that’s when it happened…my world stopped and I focused on each individual sensation, concentrated on it, locking it into my brain, my memory. His eyes flickered to mine, and then I heard his soft voice. “Breathe, Josephine.” When he said my middle name in his husky commanding voice, my eyes rolled back in my head as if it was a trigger, and I contracted my muscles, prompting my climax. He continued his pounding and seconds later, he was pulling out of me.
His cock was stiff and I watched as spurts of his come began to pour from his body and land on mine. I rubbed my body as Jason directed his sperm all over me. It was my visual, my turn to see his pleasure displayed all over me, and I relished every single bit of it. It was hot, thick, and sticky, and all him. I wanted him all over me. I closed my eyes as I moved the warm cream around as drops and jets of come continued to cover me. When I opened my eyes, he was watching me with smoky eyes. I slowed, using my fingers to run it over my breasts, squeezing my nipples and then down my belly, stopping at my belly button and moving a path of come down between my lower lips.
I stopped, making sure he was looking, swiped more off my belly, and then fingered myself. I took extra time finger-fucking myself, because I loved the look of lust it was creating on his face. Then, I swiped my belly again, bringing a semen-covered finger to my mouth and licking it clean, taking extra time to fuck my mouth in the same manner I used with my pussy. Then, I made a popping sound when I pulled the finger from my mouth.
“You taste good…Sir.” I smiled victoriously, and he returned it. “Now your come is in every orifice of my body.” I flashed a gratified smiled again, knowing his sexual buzz would consume him and drive him insane with erotic pleasure. I had studied his body and learned from our time together, and I was aware of what provoked certain responses. He observed me closely and his lips twitched before he gave me a wicked smile bordering on evil.
He gripped my thighs tightly and lifted my legs, positioning my pussy in the air. I giggled, because I thought he was going to inspect my work, but he took his own finger swipe of come from my breast and moved it over my back hole. He coated it first, slid his finger over my breast again, and then dipped his finger inside my ass, repeating the process using the come as lube as he worked it in. He took his time, enjoying himself, pumping and circling as I watched, feeling myself get wetter just from the look of pure lust in Jason’s eyes. It was addicting how this man gazed at me with so much want. He finished playing, dropping my body back to the bed.
Then, he moved away from me, grabbing his things and tossing words over his shoulder. “There, now my come is in every orifice.” I giggled again at his words, because even though I knew he was battling with something inside his head, he was being playful.
He vanished after that, and I got cold chills from his disappearing act. I slipped off the bed and used the sheet to remove some of the come from my trembling body. Then, I maneuvered the dress over my body, my only comfort coming from the numbness that was spreading from my toes to my fingertips. I grabbed my shoes and went to wait by the door. He was caring before, but now…now his lack of emotion was scaring me. He came out of the bathroom a long while later and walked past me to open the door. It was asshole Jason in charge now.
“You’re still here. I thought you would have run by now. I’ll walk you out.” He led me out of the small room and into a larger area where people were scattered.
“So…is this what you do now? Where’s Bo?” I wasn’t sure if he even heard me. He walked with arrogance, and waves of displeasure rolled off him.
“Yes, this is what I do. It’s what I’m great at. Sometimes you do thing because it’s easy, not because you love it. Bo is with Jessica until she finds a home for him.” He tossed the words over his shoulder like I was beneath him. He stopped when we approached the bar area and talked to other men, and I stood awkwardly behind him. My thoughts were stuck on Bo, how he wouldn’t understand and how he was left all alone. Bo was innocent in all of this, and he was being hurt…because of me? I inhaled, stuffing down the emotion causing the tears that swelled in my eyes. How could he turn his back on his loveable pet? Who was this man? I glanced up at Alex as he moved toward me with a wink.
“Alex, right?” His eyes shifted from Jason to me. I nervously fidgeted, smoothing my hair, feeling painfully embarrassed.
He halted when he was inches from me and leaned in. “Hello, Katarina.”
I tugged and flattened my dress with the palms of my hands, trying hard to remain calm. “Could I borrow your phone? I need to get a ride.”
“I’ll take you anywhere you need to go.” He stuck his arm out and I slipped mine through it. I inhaled a deep breath, deciding in that moment to give Jason all the power he craved. I wanted whatever we were to end by his actions and not mine. Noble, right? Wrong. I was the worst kind of coward. I just coped better when I knew people hated me instead of felt sorry for me.
“Um, Jason…” My voice was soft, but he turned, his eyes dark and lifeless and I flinch. A bouncing blonde moved quickly by his side. She was completely naked except for the chain running from nipple to nipple. Her head bowed in front of him and he placed his hand on the small of her back. I watched as her body visibly got a thrill up her spine. “She’s very pretty.” I gestured toward his girl.
“You and me,” his lips curled into a smug, cocky grin, “I guess I just needed one for the road.”
I should have left. My gut said he hated me, and I was more than okay with hate, but the stare he gave me was intended to challenge me. I swallowed hard trying to find oxygen in this shrinking room. Nobody challenged me; they told me what to do and I either did it, or I disappointed them. My words spilled out like water from a fountain, and I couldn’t even control the bitter sound. “So we’re even then. My grandfather killed Jacy, and you shattered my heart.” I closed my eyes, calming myself with numbers. One, two, three…
When my eyes opened, I could see more clearly. “I would much rather you break my heart than me break yours.” A lone tear toppled down my cheek. “Thanks for saving me.” I swore two things to myself in that tear-dropping moment: I wouldn’t shed another tear over this man ever again, and I was going to leave with my head held high. After all, I settled his silly revenge that was taken ou
t against my grandfather. I fell in love with Jason, just like he wanted and ultimately he broke my heart. So I’d say I did something for my grandfather, a man who did everything for me, and I considered it an honor. I most certainly was not a victim. I would have done it again, even knowing what I knew, and might have even enjoyed it more.
I nodded at Alex, and he led me out of the club. I was once again confident and strong, reminding myself that this is how things ended; there were no real life fairytales. Alex was patient, walking slow and talking, but I only focused on the journey ahead and never looked back.
Chapter Eleven
Sorry
Jason
On my taxi drive back to the hotel, all I could think about was Katarina and how her words should have made it easier to walk away, but they only fucked with my head. We weren’t…even, and I wasn’t sure we ever would be. I shattered her heart? She fucking shattered my life. The taxi stopped in the underground garage and I got out, handing him a wad of cash in the process. I dragged my feet to the elevator, cursing under my breath for how I handled my earlier encounter. I could still smell her, as if her scent was in the air.
I caught sight of the girl Alex was with the last couple nights. Well, technically I was with her too, but Alex invited her over and I just joined in.
“Cami, right?” I guessed, and she flashed me a flustered smile. She was a pretty girl with short black hair and hazel eyes, her body soft in all the right spots. Alex had a type, and she was definitely it. Her ass was her best feature; Alex called it a treasure. It was perfectly round and large, but Cami’s confidence was why I tapped her. She was bashful, but proud of her body, and there was something so appealing about that—shy and confident, a charming combination.
Forever Distraction Page 16