‘Do not judge the king too harshly, Kit,’ said his mother. ‘By nature he is not a violent man and lives in constant fear of assassination. He saw many a bloodthirsty deed done throughout his adolescence. When you take into account the many plots and counterplots which took place before he went to England, then it’s not surprising his experiences have left an indelible mark on his mind. This latest conspiracy by all accounts is the most vile, because not only did it threaten his own person, but also those of his wife and children.’ On a sigh she spoke to Serena. ‘Tell me, Serena, couldn’t your uncle protect you from Sir Thomas Blackwell?’
‘I’m afraid not. When my uncle learned of Kit’s assumed involvement with the conspiracy and harbouring a fierce dislike for anyone belonging to the Catholic faith, he believed he had just cause to cancel Dorothea’s betrothal to him and united her instead with Sir Thomas. So you see, Lady Mary, I had to get away. I could not endure living in such close proximity to a man I have every reason in the world to despise, and who would carry out his threat to harm me.’
‘I can sympathise with that. It must be difficult for your uncle having a brother who belongs to the Catholic faith if he abhors it so deeply.’
‘I confess that it has been the cause of much contention between him and my father over the years.’
‘Has Sir Thomas harmed you in any physical way?’
‘No, but he has attempted to violate my person twice. It was fortunate for me that Kit came to my aid on both occasions.’
‘But not so fortunate for Blackwell,’ growled Kit.
‘Why?’ asked Lady Mary.
‘We fought, and I left him with a sword wound to his shoulder and a huge dent in his pride.’
Lady Mary frowned, displeased to hear this. ‘You fought a duel?’
Kit nodded gravely. His mother strongly disapproved of this method of settling a quarrel or a point of honour, but at the time he’d had no alternative. ‘Because of his malicious lies to discredit me I had been branded a traitor. After my escape I sought him out and asked him to go to the authorities and clear my name, but he refused. What would you have had me do, Mother? Pardon the man?’
Kit switched his hard gaze to Serena, recalling how enraged he’d been when he’d seen what Blackwell was about to subject her to, wanting to tear the man limb from limb because he had dared lay his hands on her yet again. ‘And after his attempt to violate Serena, it was not just my own honour for which I fought.’
‘I can see that,’ Lady Mary said softly, ‘and thank goodness you arrived when you did. But whatever differences are between you and Sir Thomas, Kit, you know I do not hold with duelling.’
‘I made a point of not killing him. If I had, when I do return to England—which I have to do if I am to redeem myself—he would be unable to retract the slanderous accusations he has made against my name with utter disregard for the truth.’
‘Then we must be patient and wait for Ludovick to come to Edinburgh,’ said Lady Mary. ‘But in the meantime it is essential that you are not seen about the town, Kit. If word gets out that you are here, news will travel fast to London.’
‘I think everyone believes Kit and I managed to escape across the Channel, Lady Mary,’ said Serena. ‘At least, that was the impression we gave Sir Thomas when we left him at Dunedin Hall—and it was where I intended going even then.’
‘It was never my intention to flee the country,’ explained Kit. ‘When Lord Carberry gave chase, we left the road and concealed ourselves until he had disappeared on the road to the south. Sir Henry Carberry is a good friend of mine and I felt duty-bound to take care of his daughter. I could not let Serena go on alone to Flanders, so I persuaded her to travel north with me.’
‘Persuasion is hardly the word I would use when you appointed yourself as my guardian,’ uttered Serena quickly, shooting Kit a disparaging look. It was a look which did not go unobserved by Lady Mary’s sharp eyes.
‘It can’t have been easy for you, my dear. You are too young…too weak and delicate—which,’ said Lady Mary with a trace of irony, shooting a meaningful glance at her son, ‘if you will forgive me, is how we of the female sex are often described by our superior male counterparts—to be involved in the many things that have become a part of your life. It cannot have been easy travelling so far in this awful weather with Kit—who I know can be quite impossible; he often forgets he is not commanding an unruly regiment of soldiers.’
Because she spoke with a certain amount of gravity, Serena thought Lady Mary was being serious, but on observation she saw her eyes were twinkling, making Serena realise that she enjoyed teasing her handsome son. Briefly Serena caught Kit’s eye, aware that he was watching her intently. A sleek black eyebrow slanted upwards to accentuate his expression of profound scepticism, which she totally ignored and, turning back to his mother, favoured her with a sweet smile.
‘I consider no man my superior, Lady Mary,’ she replied, trying to avoid looking at Kit.
Serena had felt, rather than seen, the black eyes roll with amusement when Lady Mary had called her weak and delicate, knowing he would be sorely tempted to raise an argument in contradiction despite the presence of his mother. Having suffered her vicious verbal attacks on numerous occasions, Kit knew for a fact that there was nothing weak or delicate about her.
‘I have fared well enough as it happens,’ Serena continued calmly. ‘It was good of Kit to befriend me—and I can assure you that his behaviour towards me at all times has been courteous and cannot be faulted.’
Lady Mary smiled indulgently at Kit, the hint of mockery directed at her son that she sensed behind Serena’s words not lost on her, and she wondered just what had occurred between the two of them on their lone journey to Edinburgh. Kit certainly didn’t seem disturbed or distressed in any way over his loss of Dorothea.
‘Then I can only hope it will continue. And do you still intend going to your father, Serena?’
‘Yes. Kit has promised to help me. He is to write to my father, informing him of my whereabouts and what I intend.’
‘If you have any idea where the letter can be sent, Serena, I will write immediately,’ Kit offered. ‘Perhaps you would like to enclose a letter yourself.’
‘Yes, I’ll do that. I think it best to have the letter delivered to James at St Omer. Father is bound to visit him some time. If not, I am sure James will know where to forward it to. Where will you send it from?’
‘The port at Leith. Ships are always leaving for the Low Countries.’
‘And for the time being you are welcome to stay with us for just as long as it takes, Serena,’ said Lady Mary. ‘It will be good for Melissa having someone of her own age to talk to.’
‘Thank you, Lady Mary. You are very kind.’
‘Melissa is in Perth just now staying with friends. I expect her back in Edinburgh in a week or so. Although,’ said Lady Mary, a wistful smile curving her lips, ‘she has become quite fond of a young gentleman who lives in Perth, and may decide to extend her visit. But tell me—why didn’t you tell your uncle about Sir Thomas’s assault on your person? After all, if Dorothea is to marry him, she should be aware of his violent nature.’
‘Uncle William would never have believed me. I—I did try to warn Dorothea about his character, but she was so besotted by him her ears were deaf to anything I had to say.’
‘Sir Thomas must be an exceptional man to be able to replace Kit in your cousin’s affections so quickly. We can only hope she sees the dark side to his character before she marries him.’ Lady Mary focused her attention on Kit. ‘Was everything in order at Addlington Hall, Kit? Mr and Mrs Gilby are well, I hope?’
‘Everything was fine. But what will you do with it, Mother? The house cannot remain empty indefinitely.’
‘I’m thinking of renting it out. Would you approve? I have enough of travelling between Coldstream and Edinburgh—and you know how I much prefer living in town.’
Kit shrugged casually. ‘You must do what you will with the
house. It is yours, after all. If Paul has a hankering to live there, then all well and good—or Melissa. If she marries a man without property, she may be happy to live there.’
‘And then there is you, Kit,’ said Lady Mary, her gaze searching her son’s face with a mixture of desperation and hope. ‘If Thurlow isn’t redeemed to you, wouldn’t you like to live at Addlington Hall? I know how much you always loved it as a boy.’
Kit knew his mother was trying hard not to let him see how deeply anxious she was for him, but he was very conscious of it. ‘No, Mother. Thurlow will only be redeemed to me if I can clear my name of the crime against me. If I can’t, then by all accounts I shall be guilty of treason and unable to live anywhere in England or Scotland.’ His eyes were steady as they settled on his mother’s strained face. ‘I think we know the penalty I shall have to pay if I am found guilty of that particular crime. If I manage to escape, I shall be forced to live in exile abroad.’
Lady Mary drew a shaky breath. ‘Then let us pray it does not come to that. Tell me, Serena, do you have many brothers and sisters?’
‘I have two brothers, Lady Mary. James, who is thirteen, is a pupil at the Jesuit school at St Omer, near Calais, and Andrew, who is older than me, is a Jesuit priest—presently at the Vatican in Rome.’
‘They sound pious young men. St Omer has become extremely popular since it was founded twelve years ago, and has attracted children from several Catholic families that I know of. Does Andrew manage to come to England? I know how difficult it is for priests in the present climate.’
‘He came home last summer, but stayed no more than a few weeks.’
Searching the depths of the lovely green eyes looking into hers, Lady Mary discerned how they softened with sorrow, and she realised just how deep Serena’s own suffering was for her family. ‘Your faith must be strong, Serena,’ she said gently, ‘for you to withstand what has happened to your family.’
‘My faith has both depth and permanence, Lady Mary. I will never change.’
Lady Mary smiled softly. ‘No one would ask it of you, my dear. Tell me—when did you last go to Mass?’
‘Perhaps two months ago.’
‘That is much too long. I shall arrange it.’
‘Thank you,’ Serena said with a grateful smile.
Chapter Twelve
Walking restlessly about the room, Serena glanced to where Kit was sitting on the window seat looking out at the murky weather. He was lost in thought, his mood quiet, but Serena’s uneasiness and her apparent inability to be still intruded into his thoughts and brought a frown to his brow.
‘What is it, Serena, that makes you scowl like that?’ he queried. ‘Is it because we’ve reached our journey’s end and you miss riding with me? Or has something displeased you? My mother, perhaps?’ With his long, thigh-booted legs stretched out in front of him he sat back, folding his arms, his eyes dark and languid as he continued to peruse her.
Serena stopped her pacing and looked at him, contemplating her answer for a moment before she spoke. ‘I am not scowling—and I am relieved not to have to ride any farther with you—and no, Lady Mary has not upset me. She has been very kind,’ she answered loftily.
‘I’m happy you think so. But?’
‘It’s just—this matter concerning my clothes,’ Serena told him hesitantly.
‘What about them? Mother is to sort out some of Melissa’s gowns for you. She has ample. You are about the same height—and figure,’ he said, cocking a handsome brow as he gave her a lengthy inspection, his eyes sweeping lazily downward over her rounded bosom to her narrow waist, before coming back and meeting her eyes, an impudent smile curving his lips. ‘Although, perhaps you’re a mite fuller and rounder here and there than Melissa…’ he murmured, his voice trailing off.
The suggestive, casual boldness of his gaze sent Serena’s indignation spiralling. ‘Kit,’ she reprimanded sharply, her green eyes flashing with fiery disdain and hot colour flooding her cheeks. It was the first time he had made any forward remark to her since that day he had kissed her at Addlington Hall. ‘You are outrageous and quite shameless.’
The twitch of his mouth revealed his amusement, and he arched a brow as he made a silent, appreciative perusal of her angry face. ‘Am I?’
‘Yes, and quite insufferable. Do you have to ogle and undress me in that objectionable, ungentlemanly manner? It’s most unseemly. What if someone should come in?’
‘Since when has gazing at something as lovely as you been an offence?’ Kit chuckled softly, lights shining in his black eyes as he met her angry glare. Unconcerned by her irritation, he contemplated her with half a smile. ‘Since you took it into your head to spurn my advances, to look upon your beauty is the only means I have of feeding the hungering ache inside me, which gnaws away at me constantly. To imagine what delights you conceal beneath all those hoops and layers of petticoats is the only comfort I can gain to appease my yearning.’
Showing no sign of softening, Serena lifted her chin primly and continued to glare at him, placing her hands firmly on her slender waist. ‘Then you will just have to be satisfied with what you see because it’s as far as you’ll get. It’s about time you found something else to occupy yourself with to help quell your carnal appetite,’ she told him, her tone having sharpened to a cutting degree, while all the time she was trying to still her racing heart and hold on to her crumbling composure.
Kit was not done with her. A brooding warmth entered his eyes, and there was an animal gleam to his white teeth showing between his parted lips. ‘When I found myself cast adrift with you on our journey north, little did I know I would fall victim to a vituperative female, who could set me so effortlessly on edge and rob me of the ability to act and think clearly. Circumstances have played a heavy part in the way I feel for you. You are a temptation—a temptation I find difficult to resist. I’ve had a taste of what you have to offer and I find myself wanting more.’
‘Then you must endure it as best you can.’
‘Aye, madam, I will endure it,’ Kit murmured, lazily watching the tension and emotion play across her expressive face. ‘But don’t deny the truth. Can you tell me you didn’t feel what I felt when we kissed? That you didn’t tremble and quiver with passion? Your craving was as great as my own. Can you tell me you didn’t want me to make love to you?’
Serena was relieved that he hadn’t left his perch to stand next to her. His voice was soft and came across to her as a caress, sending a swirl of sensations rushing into the core of her being and tearing holes in her composure. A livid blush covered her cheeks. Unable to meet his unflinching eyes, and conscious of his magnetism and the uneven beat of her heart, she directed her gaze out of the window. How could she tell him how torn she was by what she felt for him and how strong she wanted to be, knowing she would have to leave him.
‘Please, Kit,’ she pleaded softly, emitting a tremulous sigh. ‘Don’t let us discuss this now.’
‘Why? Does it trouble you?’
‘Yes, if you must know, it does.’
‘It needn’t, if you didn’t insist on keeping me at bay. Why do you?’
‘You know why.’
‘I may not have spoken about the moment I held you in my arms at Addlington Hall—but it’s a moment I shall always treasure in my memory. I respect your reasons for not wanting to become involved in something from which you know there will be no going back. But just remember that I am a man, Serena—flesh and blood, with a man’s desires and needs. I apologise, if by allowing my ardour to get the better of me, it’s made things difficult for you, but that’s the way it is.’
‘It certainly doesn’t make it any easier,’ Serena answered curtly. ‘If I had stayed in your arms any longer that day, you would not have withheld your ardour and that would have been an end to my virtue.’
‘It’s the truth. My dearest wish is to make love to you—to ease the desire that plagues me day and night. It’s only your plea that I control myself that keeps you safe from
me and nothing else. But your response to my kiss was not exactly cool—in fact, I was both surprised and delighted to find you so yielding in my arms. It gave me reason to hope.’
‘Oh, you beast,’ Serena whispered. ‘That’s not fair. I do have feelings for you. I would be lying if I said otherwise—and with that irritating ability you seem to have of reading my every thought you would know it, too. I will not speak of this again, Kit—and neither will you.’
Kit’s words tore through Serena more than any act of violence could have done. Determined not to give him the pleasure of seeing her moved by them, she turned away, her face set in determined lines as she tried her best to ignore him, while feeling smothered by his presence and the intentness of his gaze that never left her.
‘Contrary to what you may think, it is not my desire to conquer you, to take from you what you do not want to give,’ Kit said gently. ‘What there is between us must be shared. I only ask that you grant me a little of your time, so that we may speak and discuss what the future may hold for us.’
‘I know what the future holds for me—and you have a long struggle ahead of you to wipe away the accusation of being a traitor. I hoped you understood why there has to be this barrier between us. Nothing must hinder my resolve to go to my father.’
Kit’s mood softened, his eyes dwelling on her as she continued wearing a hole in the carpet. In her ruby-coloured dress she really was a joy to look at. She was straining to adopt an attitude of self-assurance, but Kit was not deceived. He was aware that she was beset by a tumult of emotions, and that she was doing her best to fight them. He really would have to learn to curb his desires until she was ready to give herself freely. But the waiting would be hard indeed.
‘Very well, Serena. I promise you will go unmolested by me until the day when you can no longer resist my ardour. So, where were we, before we became sidetracked by more delicate matters? As I recall, we were speaking of renewing your wardrobe. Don’t you like dressing in borrowed clothes? Are Melissa’s gowns not to your taste? Because, if so, I would not like to be the one to tell her.’ He chuckled softly.
Conspiracy of Hearts Page 20