“Coffee?”
“Yes, please. Thank you.”
He nodded and walked towards his kitchen, leaving her alone. She took one end of the couch, and took several deep breaths. When he re-entered a few minutes later, her spine was stiff but her mind focused.
He sat down next to her and poured them both a cup, doctoring hers the way she liked it. “There’s so much to talk about, I don’t even know where to begin.”
She exhaled. “Why don’t I start? I’m sorry, so sorry about this morning. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset. You were just trying to manage the situation–”
“Stop right there. You and Liliana are not a situation. You’re my life.”
She inhaled sharply, but he kept on speaking.
“And I’m sorry. I suppose I’m just a little touchy about everything.”
“I know, and that’s partially my fault for not being able to tell you about Liliana earlier.”
“No, it’s not that. Or not entirely that.” He sighed as he sat back against the couch. “I feel completely fucking useless.”
“What? Why?”
“I can’t seem to do anything right where Liliana’s concerned, and I’ve got so much to learn. I should have known she takes a nap. Most children do, don’t they? And shouldn’t I have known she shouldn’t use the bathroom alone? Shouldn’t I have known–”
She put a hand on his arm and he turned his head towards hers. “Take a breath. You’ve only been a father for a day. Give it some time. You’ll learn.”
“I haven’t been a father for a day.”
Her hand fell away. “No, you’re right. You’ve been a father longer than that, but you knew what I meant.”
“I did. I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”
“Do you ever think you’ll forgive me?” She held her breath waiting for his answer. How could he forgive, when she’d never really forgiven herself?
“I have forgiven you.”
She gave him a disbelieving look. “Truly?”
“Yes, truly. Forgiving is sometimes easier than forgetting, and this is one time it’s hard for me to forget. I’m working on it.”
She nodded.
“Will you ever tell me who was behind our separation?”
She felt the anxiety building slowly, knowing the day of confrontation was coming. “I can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
He shook his head, his lips a grim line. “How can we start again, if neither of us can trust the other? How can we move forward?”
Her heart felt as though it were on a jagged, unstable precipice. “You don’t want to move forward?” Had he changed his mind after their fight? They’d both apologized, but maybe he’d decided to give up on her. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had given up on her, after all.
People found it only too easy to let her go.
“Are you, that is, did you change your mind about us? About me?”
He lifted her hand, pressed it against his cheek, and closed his eyes. “No, of course not. I still want you. I still need you. God help me, but I do.”
Her heart soared even while past experience told her to be cautious. “Lorenzo.”
With a groan, he pulled her forward and her lips met his, and she was transported back in time.
God, God. His lips, the way they moved hadn’t changed. It was familiar and new at the same time. His hand delved into her hair, just as they’d done before, but this time with less control and more fervency.
His taste was sharper, richer, and even more addictive than before.
And it had been pretty fucking addictive before.
She shifted to straddle his lap, while his other hand squeezed her bottom and pressed her core against his.
She pulled back from his lips, gasping, her breath mingling with his, their lips so close they brushed when he spoke.
“Lily.”
Her hands rested against his chest, and she felt his heart pounding underneath.
“You taste different.”
Her hands fisted in his shirt, then fisted harder when his tongue licked her lips.
“You taste better. Fuck, I didn’t think it was possible. I didn’t think anything could taste better than you used to, but you do.”
Her voice was breathless. “Really?”
“Fuck, yeah.”
She moaned as he took her mouth again.
“God, I missed you. I missed this.”
She buried her face in his neck, her arms wrapping around him. “I missed you, too.”
“I want you in my bed tonight.”
She tensed and shook her head. “I can’t.”
He rubbed a hand lightly over her back and bottom. “You need more time.”
“I wish I didn’t,” she confessed. “My body certainly wishes I didn’t. It’s still just too new. And you’re right: we’re don’t trust each other yet.”
He cupped her head and tilted it back. He spent a long minute searching her eyes, for what she didn’t know. Finally, he kissed her forehead, then moved her from his lap to snuggle into his side. “We will. We will trust each other again. We can, at the very least, trust each other to want the best for Liliana.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
“Then let’s focus on her for a while. How’s her school?”
This she could talk about, and handle much more easily than his lips. “Education-wise, it’s good. She’s learning a lot and her teacher keeps her engaged. Though, as you heard, some of the other children aren’t all that nice.”
“They’ll become less nice once their parents realize who she is,” he said darkly. “I asked the agents to do a safety analysis on the school.”
She blinked and sat up. “A safety analysis? On a pre-school?”
He nodded as he reached for his coffee. “Like it or not, she’s a princess. She’s not an heir, but she very well could be.”
“But Prince Al–, I mean Alex is the heir.” Though the prince had told her to call him ‘Alex’, she had trouble remembering it. It was odd to think of him as Lorenzo’s brother and Liliana’s uncle, rather than the next Vallerian king.
“He is the heir, but she’s also the first grandchild. My sister Arianna’s daughter might rule Brazenbourg one day, so she can’t be Valleria’s heir. If none of my other siblings have children, she could become a queen.”
She must have stopped breathing, as Lorenzo started rubbing her back. “Lily, take a deep breath. Now, Lily.”
She sucked in a large, shuddering breath, her chest heaving. “Queen? I never thought–”
“I’m the seventh child of the king; it’s understandable you wouldn’t think of it. Few would, unless they’d given birth to the direct heir’s child. I don’t think it’s likely she’ll become queen. The way all my siblings are pairing off, I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before other children come along. Cat and Eddie would have the most pressure to conceive if Alex and Rebecca don’t have a child. As you said, I’m lower on the totem pole, but that doesn’t mean I’m off it.”
She took a few bracing breaths, and tried to get her head together. She should have realized this. Her daughter – their daughter, she reminded herself – could be queen one day.
“If you’d realized this, could you have come to me sooner?”
“I, I just don’t know. I tried for years to reach you. The people involved…they knew you were a prince. Perhaps if I’d tried harder, perhaps if they’d known how much was at stake–” She cut herself off. “I just don’t know.”
“It seems your secret comes between us again.”
“Yes,” she whispered, and said nothing more.
He nodded, lips tight. “All right. Well, I propose Liliana be tutored through the rest of this year as she gets accustomed to her new life. I want her to feel more confident before she has to face the wrath of jealous children and parents again.”
Lily knew jealousy. People were often jealous of the Brionnes, of their wealth and beauty, and of her most of all. She’d
developed a thick skin because of it, and because of other events in her life. She could and had put up with a lot of mistreatment from others; her most recent job was a prime example of that. She wanted Liliana to just be happy for a while before she was forced down that road, as so many women were.
“I think that’s a good idea.”
Lorenzo blinked in surprise.
“Do you know where we can find a tutor?”
“Yes. Well, I thought we might be able to convince Miss Jane to leave the school.”
“I don’t think you’ll be able to, especially in the middle of the school year.”
“I think for the right price she might consider it.”
He had a point. “That’s true, but still she wouldn’t leave in the middle of the term, so we’d need to wait until the winter holidays. She would want to keep as stable an environment as possible for the rest of the kids.”
“Which is all the more reason to hire her.”
“Yes, but after a year, then what? She’ll still need a steady job. If she stays at the school, she’ll have that. I’m not suggesting you can’t ask her. However, given what I know of her, I think you should have a backup plan.”
He took a long sip of his coffee, then sighed. “Yes, you’re right.”
“She might be able to provide some recommendations, though. Perhaps a substitute looking for a position?”
Lorenzo’s head tilted to the side, considering, then turned back to her. “I have a better idea. How about my sister, Carolina?”
“Is she a teacher? I didn’t realize.”
“She’s an artist, and works as an art teacher from time to time. She often teaches young children. Some Liliana’s age, some younger. She’s not certified as a primary school teacher, or even as a pre-school teacher, but she may be willing to help. As you said, it’s only for the next several months.”
Lily wasn’t sure how she felt about Carolina teaching her baby girl. On the one hand, Carolina didn’t have experience or certification, as Lorenzo had just pointed out. On the other hand, she could help guide Liliana in her new role as princess, while teaching her basic skills and knowledge she’d need for the next school year.
“Would she be willing to stay here for that long?”
“I think she might. The sea calls to her like it does to me.” His voice faded away as he stared off into the distance. A few moments later, he shook his head. “If you’re all right with that, I’ll ask her. No doubt, she’ll be coming with the rest of the family to meet you.”
Terror filled her, cutting her inside like tiny shards of glass. “Tomorrow, was it?”
“Likely, though maybe earlier. So? Shall we ask her?”
His parents would be here in less than a day.
Oh God. Oh God.
The truth would finally come out, she knew it.
The truth of who had separated her and Lorenzo five years ago.
The inescapable truth that it was one of his parents.
His parent had refused to take Lily’s calls for years. It wasn’t until earlier this year that Lily had finally gotten through, that she’d finally made them realize why she’d been reaching out.
She faced them once, when they came to see Liliana the first time. Once they’d seen her, they’d had no doubt about whose child it was, though they’d still done the DNA test to confirm.
Now, she’d have to face them for the first time with Lorenzo.
Oh God. Oh God.
She couldn’t help but picture Lorenzo’s face when he realized his parent was involved. Focus, Lily. Don’t think about tomorrow.
She cleared her throat. What had they been talking about? School. Liliana. “Yes. Yes, that’s fine, as long as Liliana learns more than just art. I don’t want her to fall behind once she starts school next year.”
“Neither do I. If Carolina’s not interested, we’ll come with a new plan.”
She nodded.
“Have you thought any more about my job offer?”
She’d barely had time to process anything. The last two days had been such a whirlwind. “Not really.”
“Are you opposed to the idea?”
“No. I’d like to be close to Liliana, and I enjoy event planning. I think I’d like the job.”
“But?”
“But, what about perception? Everyone will know I only got the job because we’re, well, whatever we are.”
He tensed. “We’re a family. That’s what we are.”
“I didn’t mean–”
“It doesn’t matter. Look, people will make comments about you no matter what you do, so you might as well just do what you want. If you want the job, take it. If you don’t, don’t. I need to hire someone for the position either way, and I think you’d be great at it.”
“Do you? But you’ve never seen me work before.”
“I have, though. You organized some of the volunteer events at the hospital where we met, didn’t you?”
He remembered that? “Well, yes, but those were really small events. Just some patients, volunteers, and staff.”
“I was one of those patients, and those events reminded me what happiness felt like. You reminded me what happiness felt like, and a lot more.”
God, Lorenzo. She bit her lower lip. “What if I do something wrong? It wouldn’t look good for you or the MARC or–”
“Lily, listen to me. If I didn’t think you could do the job – mother of my child or no – I wouldn’t have offered it to you, but not for the reasons you’re thinking. The negativity you’d receive if you couldn’t do the job properly would be intense. I wouldn’t want you to go through that. I want to protect you.”
Oh my God. Why did that make her feel so good? Maybe because no one had wanted to help her, or put her first before.
“Fortunately, you can do the job. If you make a mistake, so what? I make them. We’re human, even if the public doesn’t consider us that way. They don’t want their royalty to make mistakes, but they’ll accept us when we do. Rebecca was involved in a scandal – according to the press – before she and Alex finally got together. The public, nor the press I’ll add, mention it anymore.”
“Then I guess I’ll take the job.”
“Good. If you try it and it’s not for you, we can find someone else, and we can find a way to spin it with the press, if needed. Don’t worry about it, all right?”
She nodded.
His brows drew together and his expression became serious. “Now, then, what happened at the move this morning?”
She stalled for time by reaching for her forgotten coffee. “The move?”
“Those men who were watching you?”
“Oh. Those.”
“Yes, those. Do you know who they were?”
Her spoon tinged against the side of the cup as she stirred it, just to keep her hands busy. “Yes.”
“And?”
She took a sip, stalling some more.
“Lily,” he growled.
She took a deep breath. She closed her eyes on the inhale and opened them on the exhale, letting some of her worries slip away. “I told you I was fired. Well, I saw my former boss, John, and my replacement, Calvin, watching me. They didn’t speak to me, but I found a message from John on my phone later, sort of threatening me.”
“Threatening you? What the fuck is wrong with that asshole?”
Time to come clean. “Okay. The truth is, before I left after being fired, I sent an email to the hotel owner, who is also John’s uncle. I didn’t say anything terrible,” she added quickly at Lorenzo’s frown. “I just thanked him for giving me a chance – he was the one who initially hired me – and to let him know that I was considering legal action because of the way I’d been treated.”
“How were you treated? Lily?”
She stuttered for the next few minutes as she told him some of the harassment she’d endured and the final conversation she’d had with John. She’d blamed herself when the harassment first began, even thinking she deserved it
at times – she was an unlovable, unworthy person, she’d told herself – and had only recently realized that it wasn’t her fault but her harasser’s. It was imagining Liliana grown up, as a victim of harassment herself, that had finally opened her eyes. She didn’t want Liliana to endure this and, if she did, Lily wanted her to fight back. Liliana had a better chance of fighting it if Lily set a good example for her.
“It only started once John got hired, and then he hired more like him. I’m not the only woman there fed up with it, I’m just the first to go. I’m sorry. I know if the press finds out, they might spin it into my fault, and say that I asked for it or something.”
“Don’t give the press another thought. If they catch wind of this, we’ll issue a statement condemning the media for blaming the victims of harassment instead of who’s really at fault. No woman should have to deal with this, not ever.
“Do you think you’re alone? My sisters have had their fair share of harassing behavior. Being a princess doesn’t negate the fact that they’re women, nor the fact that some shitty men think they can treat people however the fuck they want. It ends. Now.”
He stood up and began pacing and a warmth flooded Lily.
He believed her.
He wanted to defend her, to protect her.
She hadn’t had that for a very long time, if she’d ever had it at all.
“My agents were there this morning, and no doubt noticed them. I’ll have them look into it. If those assholes want to push you around, they’ll hear from me.” He paused in his pacing and turned to her. “Did you speak to a lawyer yet?”
“No. With all that’s going on,” she gestured to the room and the castle, “I haven’t had a chance.”
“I know many excellent lawyers. You tell me when you’re ready, and we’ll contact them.”
“I think it doesn’t matter as much anymore. We’re safe and protected here in the castle, aren’t we?”
“Of course.”
“Then they can’t get to us, except through a phone call or something like that.”
“I’ll still have our agents look into it, and we’ll get you a new secure phone in a couple days. Just be careful how you use your current phone, as it can be easily hacked. I don’t like the thought of either you or Liliana at risk. God only knows what those assholes could have done to you both if the movers and agents hadn’t been there.”
Lorenzo & Lily (Royals of Valleria #8) Page 15