by Lust, April
Abram’s lips harden into a thin line. “Romance is over,” he says. “You do not get say in romance from now on.” He grins. “I cannot wait for grandchildren, Natalia.”
I blink confused. What the hell did he just say? Maybe his English isn’t as good as I thought.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I say softly. “What exactly are you talking about?”
Abram chuckles. “You will see, in time,” he says. “So, Devochka, you have grown to like America?”
I nod. “I guess. I mean, it’s all I’ve ever known.” I close my eyes, trying to recall the wintery tundra of Russia. Sometimes I have dreams that I’m back there, but I don’t know if the dreams are memories or something false that I’ve willed into existence. It would be easy to say I’ve never been able to forget where I was born, but I know the truth is a lot more complicated than that.
“My future grandchildren…” Abram trails off. He sips his vodka again. “They will return to Russia, Natalia. You will take them there. You will leave America.”
I frown. “I’m not sure I want to do that,” I say after a few seconds. I smile, trying to diffuse the tension in the room. “I mean, I like it here. And I don’t even speak Russian!”
Abram looks at me. “You can learn,” he says after a moment. “Russian comes easily to the tongue. You have genes, Natalia. It will return.”
“Right, but I’m not sure I want to marry a Russian guy,” I say. Beast is on the tip of my tongue, and I’m dying to tell my father about him.
Abram chuckles. “That is what girls always say,” he says calmly. He sips his vodka, then pours himself another glass. “But I know best, Devochka. Do not forget this.”
“Well, I’ve already met someone.” The words slip out before I can stop them.
“Childhood romance,” Abram says. He waves his hand in the air dismissively. “You not have real love, Natalia. You not understand what real love is.”
I bite my lip. I’m not overly familiar with Russian social mores, but I have a feeling it’s not polite to sass your elders. On one hand, I’m tempted to tell Abram everything about Beast, including how we met. On the other, well, I’m not entirely sure the man sitting across from me hasn’t killed Beast. “I think I do know what real love is,” I say after a moment. My cheeks are still flushed red. The combination of the fire, the vodka, and my Beast-related anxiety is a potent one.
Abram throws his head back in laughter. “Oh, you do? Well, darling daughter, do tell.”
“His name is Beast,” I say slowly. “And we met because he kidnapped me. He wanted to keep me safe…for some reason, he thought you were trying to kill me.” I laugh. “Doesn’t that sound silly?”
Abram narrows his eyes. “And you fucked this man?”
My jaw drops. I’m caught off guard by the casual cursing.
“I did,” I say after a moment. “But I love him. And while I’m not sure how he feels about me, I think it’s probably mutual.”
Abram laughs. “That is not basis for good marriage,” he says. “Good marriage is determined by family. You should know that, Natalia. You are Russian, after all.”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever, Dad,” I say finally. The vodka has loosened my tongue to the point of being flippant, but I no longer care.
“You will marry, Natalia,” Abram says. He sets his empty glass down in front of the fire and stares at me. “You will marry.”
I nod. “Yeah, eventually,” I say. “But I don’t know about kids.” I look down at my flat abdomen. “I’m a dancer. I don’t really feel like ruining my body, you know?”
Abram glares. His eyes are no longer filled with laughter. He looks angry and dangerous. “Now is the time, Natalia,” Abram says. His voice is low with emotion. “You will marry.”
“Fine, Dad,” I say. I reach down for the vodka and fill my glass. This time, throwing it down my throat, I barely taste the vodka at all.
“You will marry Aleksei,” Abram says. “He is the man I have chosen for you. There is a priest on the way now, and he will complete the ceremony.”
When the glass drops from my hand to the floor, I don’t even hear it shatter. The glass breaks into a million pieces and scatters everywhere. Abram doesn’t take his eyes off my face, not even to look down at the floor.
“I will not,” I say hotly. “I don’t know what you’re going on about. This is the first time we meet in over two decades, and you’re telling me I have to marry some thug of yours?” I can feel the anger rushing through my body. “How dare you tell me what to do!”
Abram shakes his head gravely. “You will understand, Natalia,” he says slowly. “This is best. You need protection, and Aleksei will provide protection for you.”
I stare at him. “You’re being serious?” I narrow my eyes. “I can’t believe you,” I say slowly. “This is – this is crazy! What if I object? What if I refuse?”
Abram shakes his head again. Finally, he looks up at me. His face is unreadable. Those almond Russian eyes are like ciphers. “This is for your protection,” Abram says stiffly. “This is for you, Natalia. You marry Aleksei, and he keep you safe from Beast and the Renegade Reapers.”
“You’re crazy!” I leap backwards from the fire. Away from the flames, it’s cold, and gooseflesh breaks out over my arms. “I won’t marry him! I’m in love with Beast! Why would I marry someone who wants to kill him?”
Abram rolls his eyes. “Stupid girl,” he says. “You don’t understand anything. I have to protect you, and this is the only way I can do it.”
My body is filled with a mix of horrible feelings. I’m disgusted and angry and scared all at once, and it’s enough to make me nauseous. For a horrible moment, I have to lean over and rest my elbows on my knees. My head is spinning and my stomach feels like it’s going through a meat grinder. Just kill me , I think as my vision goes blurry. Just shoot me and throw me in a ditch somewhere. I’d rather do that than marry someone other than Beast. I love Beast! I can’t be without him for the rest of my life! He’ll never forgive me if he finds out I was forced to marry someone else, someone in Abram’s gang!
“I hate you,” I say. The words come out with surprising ease – I’m not even stunned at how harsh they sound in the chill air. “I wish I’d never met you. I hate you, Abram Pestov. Why the hell did you have to go looking for me, anyway?”
He doesn’t seem angered at all by my words just exhausted like I’m a stupid, defiant child who won’t eat her vegetables. Abram sighs and stands up from his chair. “You are an idiot girl, but you will understand eventually,” he says with another heavy sigh. “Aleksei! Come here!”
Abram claps his hands together, and I look up in horror as Aleksei steps into the room. His face is twisted into a maniacal grin, and he steps towards me giving me a close view of his yellowed, nicotine-stained teeth and gums.
“Natalia is so beautiful,” Aleksei says. He steps close and wraps his arm around my shoulder. Horror fills my body, and I push him away, leaping back clumsily. Aleksei frowns.
“She is flighty,” Abram says. He smirks at Aleksei. “You will need to train her.”
“The fuck you will,” I say. Backing into a corner, I glare at Abram and Aleksei. “Stay away from me,” I say loudly. “I’ll scream if you touch me.”
Aleksei rolls his eyes. He pushes his sleeves up back over his elbows and steps closer. “Abram, your daughter is a real pistol.” He sighs, like he’s already exhausted with the prospect of having to corral me.
“Stay away!” I scream. The concrete of the warehouse walls is cold against my skin, but it’s not the reason I’m shivering. “Leave me the fuck alone!”
“Aleksei,” Abram says, sounding bored. “You know what to do.”
As Aleksei advances on me, I scream and scream. But this time, I know no one can hear me. And this time, Beast isn’t going to come to my rescue.
Chapter 24 Beast
Abram escaped.
Again.
Doc, Storm, and I had been s
et up.
Again.
I feel like a prize idiot for letting this happen twice in a row. What the hell is wrong with me? I used to be one of the toughest bikers in New York City, and now I can’t even catch an old Russian man?
Someone should take me out to pasture and shoot.
To make things even worse, Natalia is gone by the time we get back to my warehouse and my new guy is dead. There’s no way in hell she killed him. Since there are no other bullets in the gun, I assume he was playing Russian Roulette, but I can’t be certain. It could be Abram. In times like these, it’s always best to be on your guard.
Doc, Storm, and the others are hanging out in the living room and playing cards after cleaning up the mess the new guy left behind.
“Hey,” I say as I climb onto the back of a couch. “You heard anything yet?”
“No, boss,” Doc says. He glances up at me and shakes his head. “I know you’re losin’ your mind. But she’ll turn up.”
“I doubt it,” I say. I heave a huge sigh. “I think she’s gone forever, guys.”
“Well, go look for her.” Storm turns to me and squints. “What exactly do you think happened?”
I shake my head. “I wish I knew.” I roll my eyes. “She saw that this dumbass shot himself and decided to make a run for it.”
Storm narrows his eyes. “And you’re telling me she’d be dumb enough to just walk out like that? What the fuck was she even thinking?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I told her to stay put!” Making my hand into a fist, I slam it down on my thigh. Pain ricochets through my body and I wince. During my escape, I ripped open my side and fucked up some of the stitches. Without Natalia here to soothe my nerves, I feel angrier and more off-center than ever.
“I should fucking give up,” I mutter. “I can’t even lead a damn MC anymore. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
Things weren’t supposed to turn out like this. Not at all. I was supposed to be with the rest of my guys, selling drugs and keeping the bad guys out. We were the kings of New York. What had happened to throw us off?
Natalia happened , a voice in the back of my head says nastily. She happened to you and you lost sight of what was really important .
“I gotta go find her,” I growl. “What if Abram picked her up? What if she’s dead?”
Doc turns to me. “Boss, you sure that’s a good idea? It might be a trap,” he adds. “What if she’s with Abram, and they’re just waiting for us to show up? We don’t even know how many men he has, but he definitely has more than us.”
I sigh. “I know. I know. I know I fucked up! I know I fucked up twice, same damn mistake in a row! But we gotta try. I can’t just sit here, watching you assholes play cards. Life doesn’t work like that!”
Doc smirks. “Yeah, right,” he says.
“Come on.” I glare at him. “I know…” I trail off, suddenly feeling disgusted with myself. “I know you know what’s going on between me and Natalia,” I say finally. “And now you know how badly I need her back.”
Doc nods. “Okay.” He stands up and wipes his palms on his thighs. “We’ll go looking for her, okay?”
I don’t need to be told twice. After running to my room to grab a jacket, Doc and I hop on our bikes and drive away from the warehouse.
I know now the museum is a trap. If we go back there, we risk getting into a shootout with dozens of angry Russians. They’re responsible for taking out half of my men. I don’t want to give them another chance at taking me down until I’ve at least tried to rescue Natalia.
Natalia. Just the sound of her name in my head is enough to wrack me with guilt. It’s my fault that she’s gone – it’s my fault that she’s in danger. If only I’d listened to her!
I hate to admit this, but thinking of her fills me with something other than guilt. The memory of her gorgeous little face and that tight body in my mind are enough to make my cock hard. And the last thing I need right now is an erection.
Doc and I speed out of the Bronx and into Brooklyn. I still don’t have the faintest idea where to look, but Doc signals to me and I realize he’s had an idea.
“Over here!” Doc shouts. His voice is barely audible over the roar of our bikes. Hunching low over my handlebars, I feel like a demon gliding through the night.
I don’t know what he’s planning, but I have a feeling it’s going to good. Doc’s always been the smartest guy in the gang, and he’s taken me by surprise more than once. His insight is more than welcome during a crisis like this.
Doc speeds up. I can barely keep up with him now even though I’m pushing my bike as fast as it can go. The streets are covered with ice and chunks of frozen snow. It looks like a dystopian landscape from Hell.
I grit my teeth. The wind is so cold that it’s burning my face and my ears. My eyes are watering, but I know I have to keep pushing through. This is my punishment, and I deserve far worse for letting something so horrible happen to the only woman I’ve ever loved.
Finally, Doc slows down outside of a club. It’s a seedy-looking place with a green canvas awning. The awning is obviously old, it’s full of holes and tears. Doc leaves his bike in an alley and ditches his helmet.
“Where the hell are we?” I lean close. “What is this place?”
“It’s a club where some of Abram’s men go drinking,” Doc says. “Abram never comes here. I guess it’s not fancy enough for him,” Doc adds with a smirk. “But I just had a feeling maybe one of these guys has seen Natalia. You think’s a good idea?”
I nod. Of course, it’s a good idea, but I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I didn’t think of it first. “Good thinking,” I tell Doc. “Let’s go inside.”
Doc and I strut into the club like we own the place. The inside is even more of a dump than the outside. It reeks of body odor and stale cigar smoke, even though it hasn’t been legal to smoke in a public New York club for years. Men slouch at the bar, sipping drinks out of grimy glasses. It’s also freezing cold. I can see my breath even after the doors are closed behind us.
“Come here,” Doc mutters under his breath. I follow him to the end of the bar. There are two empty seats, and we claim them. The leatherette covering the stool is sticky, and I can feel it clinging to the seat of my jeans when I slide forward.
The bartender eyes us for a long time before handing over a couple of beer bottles. Judging from the lack of alcohol behind the bar, I guess this is the only thing they have.
“Thanks, man,” Doc says. He slips the bartender a twenty. “No change needed.”
The bartender looks at us carefully. “What the hell do you want?”
Doc leans close. “Yeah, we’re lookin’ for this drop-dead gorgeous girl. A dancer. She’s brunette with a tight body and big eyes.” Doc makes a doe-eyed expression at the bartender. “She looks like that all the time,” he adds. “She’s in trouble. We need to find her, and we’ll help you out if you can point us in the right direction.”
The bartender crosses his arms over his chest. “And just what makes you two assholes think I’d help you? I know where you’re from,” he adds confidently. “You’re from the wrong side of the Bronx, and you don’t belong around here. This here’s Russian territory.”
“This girl, she’s Russian,” Doc says. “Her dad is Abram Pestov. He’s been looking for her because he wants to kill her. We don’t want any trouble with him. We just want the girl. We ain’t gonna hurt anyone.”
I have to admire how well Doc can lie.
“I think I know who can help.” The bartender points towards a muscular man in the corner. I can’t make him out from where I’m standing, but he looks tough. He’s wearing a leather jacket and black pants, and there’s a scar on his cheek.
“Thanks, man,” Doc says. He turns to me and jerks his head towards the corner. With a sigh, I drain my bottle of beer and leave it on the bar. The booze tastes good, but I know I can’t let myself get drunk. Not if I want to save Natalia.
The man watches
as we approach. He’s almost as big as I am, and he growls under his breath as Doc and I step closer.
“Yo, man, we’re lookin’ for a girl,” I say. “She’s Russian, speaks English perfectly, though. Big almond eyes, small tits, waist like this.” I hold my hands about six inches apart. “She’s a dancer.”
The man stares at me. His eyes are startlingly green, like some kind of exotic lizard. “Yeah, I know her,” he says shortly. “What the fuck do you want with some easy slut like that?”
Growling, I ball my hands into fists and shove them into my pockets. My first urge is to knock this guy out, but I know I have to play nice. After all, I’m on enemy turf. Doc and I will be dead in a matter of seconds if I throw the first punch.