by B. B. Hamel
After maybe fifteen minutes, the back door suddenly opens and Connor steps out. He spots me and walks over, shielding his eyes from the sun.
“Your mom’s not happy,” he says, grinning.
“Yeah, I figured.”
“She left for work, though. That usually cheers her up.”
I can’t help but smile at that. “She sure does love working.”
“The woman lives for it.” He frowns at me for a second. “You okay, Syd?”
“Yeah, of course,” I say, maybe a little too quickly.
He gives me a look. “Things are going to get better. I promise.”
“I just... I hate lying to my mother.”
“I know.” He sighs, shaking his head. “None of this is ideal.”
“And then there are the pictures. The blackmail. Connor, if she finds out, it’ll destroy her.”
“Will it?” he asks. “I know she doesn’t approve of this, but she knows you’re an adult. You can make your own choices.”
“It’s not just that. She’ll be so angry that I risked everything like that. She’ll call me reckless. And she’s right.”
He watches me carefully. “I can’t argue against that.”
“I’m not asking you to. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
“This isn’t easy for me.” He sits down in the chair facing me. “You think I want this?”
My eyes narrow at him. I’m not sure what he means by that, but I don’t think it’s a good thing. “I never wanted it, either.”
“So you understand.”
“Sure.” I look away from him, feeling anger and rejection in my chest. “I’m going out tonight,” I suddenly blurt out.
“Oh.” He looks a little surprised. “Okay.”
I’m not going out tonight. Or at least, I don’t have any plans. I just suddenly want to get out of the house, away from Connor and this horrible situation. I want to go be young for a little while and try to forget myself. Maybe even remind myself of what I’m missing out in the wide world.
“I guess you’ll need this.” He pulls my phone from his pocket and hands it to me. “The number was a dead end. But thanks for letting me try.”
“Yeah, sure.” I look away from him, feeling stupid and embarrassed.
“I’ll have someone, you know, protect you tonight,” he says. “You can’t go out alone.”
“Fine,” I say, wanting to end this conversation.
He watches me for a second, looking like he wants to say something else, but instead he stands and walks off. He heads back inside, shutting the door behind him.
I groan when he’s gone. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I think I just told him I’m going out solely to make him jealous, and now I’m going to have to make that happen somehow.
Worse, I don’t know what he meant when he said he never wanted this. I don’t know if he means that he sees what happened between us as a mistake, or if he can’t help himself despite knowing better. In the moment, I took it as him saying he regrets this, but now I’m not so sure.
It doesn’t matter. I put my foot in my mouth again and now I have to go out. Even if I’d rather stay in and pretend like I’m mad at him, when really I can’t be.
I don’t want to want him, or at least right now. I don’t want to need him. But I do, even if I don’t know how he feels, even if I just feel more and more confused with every passing day.
I scroll through my phone and try to figure out what I’m going to do.
25
Connor
Maybe it’s stupid and a little insane, but I can’t trust anyone else to watch over Sydney. When she goes out with her friend Macy, I’m the one in the truck, following them.
I don’t tell her that, of course. She can do whatever she wants. I don’t want her to think that I’m just some crazy stalker trying to keep her from having fun. In fact, I want her to go out and enjoy herself, maybe meet some guys more her own age. Maybe some guys that aren’t her stepfather.
The thought of her drunkenly kissing some fucking punk kid makes my fists clench, but I know it’s the right thing to do. She needs to go out and be young again, enjoy herself, make stupid mistakes, do all the shit that I did when I was young. At least before I became a SEAL.
Macy drives the two of them out toward the edge of town. I’m not sure where they’re going, but that doesn’t matter. I keep a respectable distance, making sure they don’t even realize that they’re being followed.
Sydney looked fucking good and she made sure I saw it. Short skirt, tight top, the sort of thing that’s meant to draw attention. And her body draws plenty of fucking attention. That girl is going to turn a lot of fucking heads as soon as she walks into the club.
The thought makes me jealous as the two of them pull into the parking lot of a local dance place called Shadow. I smile to myself, since it’s appropriate that I’m shadowing them. I park my truck across the street and sit low in the seat, watching as they head inside. The bouncer doesn’t even check their IDs, which shouldn’t surprise me. Two young, pretty girls can get in pretty much any club they want.
I stare out the front window with the radio dialed in to some talk show. Stakeouts like this are incredibly boring, and the only way I know how to pass the time is to listen to political talk radio.
These guys on the radio, they don’t care if they’re telling the truth or not, as long as it’s entertaining and firing everyone up. All they want is an audience of people that get really pumped and excited at every little thing they say, even if what they’re saying is horrible and simply not true. It’s entertaining as hell, and I love listening to it, but I know it’s all fake. Don’t matter what you believe, truth is truth, and these guys aren’t in it for the truth. They’re in it for the money.
I space out and try not to think about what’s happening in that building. If I let myself, I can easily picture Sydney’s ass grinding against some young guy with a hard dick that can’t control himself, his hands running all over her, alcohol flowing, sweat flowing, music blaring, people having a good time...
They’re in there for three hours. Three agonizing fucking hours. Even the talk radio guys trying to rile me up about some phantom bad guys aren’t keeping my mind off of what’s happening in that building.
I hate this bullshit. I hate pretending like I don’t care about her, like she’s just pussy to me or something. Sydney is decidedly not just pussy. I want more from her, much more, and I’m an asshole for waiting so long to admit it and realize it. I could be losing her in there, in that fucking club, while I’m stuck out in this truck like an asshole.
I should go inside. No, no, that’s stupid and crazy. Her friend will think I’m a psycho. I have to leave her alone. But what if she’s in trouble, and I’m just sitting out here? Fuck, maybe I should go inside, maybe it’s in her best interests...
Three fucking hours like that, back and forth with myself, stressing about every little possibility until finally, around one in the morning, I spot them. They’re walking arm in arm and there’s nobody else around, no guys following them out. They head back into Macy’s car and start driving home.
I follow, heart hammering in my chest, keeping my distance again. I don’t know what I’m going to do when we get home. I don’t know what I’m going to say to her. But I have to say or do something. I can’t let this pass.
Macy’s car pulls into the driveway and I go past, letting Macy drop Sydney off before doubling back and parking the truck. Syd is already inside as I head in through the front door.
Julia is upstairs asleep and so I don’t call out. I want to shout, yell, fucking scream how I feel, but I know I have to be quiet. I head into the kitchen and there she is, drinking a glass of water by the sink. She turns when I step into the room, blinking at me, a little surprised.
A small smile slips across her lips. “Hey,” she says.
I look at her, and suddenly every word I want to say to her disappears. I can’t think of a single thing
that could possibly explain what I’m thinking right now.
And so I walk up to her, press her back against the countertop, and kiss her hard.
She manages to put her glass down before throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me back. I grab her hips and kiss her deep, my tongue against hers, taking in her taste, loving every bit of her.
I can’t say words right now, and she seems to know it. She kisses me back with as much passion as I’m giving her, she lets out soft moans as my hands roll through her hair and along her body.
I move down and cup her ass, squeezing her before lifting her up and onto the countertop. She knocks over the water glass and it spills everywhere, but neither of us really care. She wraps her legs around me and I pull her tight.
My lips linger across her cheek and find her ear. “This is what I’ve been wanting to tell you all night,” I say.
“This is what I’ve been thinking about,” she answers.
I spread her legs wide and slide her skirt up her thighs before finding her soaking wet little pussy. Her panties are dripping wet and useless at this point, and I push them aside to easily find her clit.
She gasps as I start to work her in circles. I kiss her neck and down along her chest before finding her mouth again. I kiss her full and deep before pressing my fingers inside of her pussy, sliding them in and out.
She moans into my kiss, and there’s a part of me that thinks we should be quiet, or at least go somewhere less public, but I’m not stopping now. I lift her ass up and pull her panties off, dropping them down onto the floor.
I pull back and spread her legs wide, exposing her wet pussy as I hike her skirt up over her hips. She bites her lip while looking at me, and I know what that look means. I drop down between her legs, kiss up her inner thigh, and begin to lick her clit right there in the kitchen.
She tastes so fucking good, and I love the way she grabs my hair as I go at her. I work that clit, sucking and licking and nibbling, before rolling my tongue down to slide inside of her. I want to lick up every drop of her juice, eat her fucking dry, make her scream. I roll my tongue back up to her clit before sliding two fingers inside of her pussy.
She’s managing to stay quiet, though her hands in my hair are pulling pretty fucking hard. That only turns me on more, though, as I fuck that tight pussy with my fingers and suck on her perfect little clit.
She grinds her hips, digging her pussy against my mouth, and I love it. I’m so lost in the moment that I forget all about the spilled water and about her mother sleeping just above us. I can’t fucking control myself, and I’m tired of trying.
I move up away from her pussy, fingers still inside of her, and I kiss her mouth. I wrap my other hand around her throat and push her back against the cabinets, kissing her deeply as I finger-fuck her pussy hard and fast. She leans back on her hands, legs spread wide, mouth covered by mine. I can hear slight moans escaping her lips and into my kiss but I keep fucking her with my fingers, keep kissing her. My hand around her throat doesn’t put any pressure, or any that would cut off her air. I just need her to know who’s in charge.
Daddy’s in charge. I pull back and unzip my pants, removing my belt. I pull them off and step out of my boxer briefs. She watches, panting and glistening wet, legs open and waiting for me. My cock is hard and I stroke myself.
“Say it.” I stare into her eyes and we both know what I mean.
“Fuck me, Daddy,” she whispers.
I take her by the hair and pull her head back. She gasps. “Louder, you dirty slut.”
“Fuck me, Daddy,” she moans. “Please fuck me. I’m so close.”
I grab her hips with my other hand and pull her toward me. With one easy thrust, I push myself deep inside of her tight little pussy.
It’s like goddamn heaven being inside of her. I stroke her slow and hard at first, one hand on her hips, the other hand in her hair. I push her top up above her breasts and tease her nipples as I start to fuck her faster.
I keep one hand in her hair. I kiss her hard and deep, my thick cock buried in her tight little pussy. We’re exposed here in the kitchen, and if her mother comes downstairs for any reason, we’re totally screwed. But that’s not stopping me, not when I’m deep in her tight little twat. I can’t stop myself.
I stroke in and out, fucking her faster. “Is this what you thought about on the dance floor?” I whisper in her ear.
“Yes,” she moans. “Nobody there, nobody comes close to you, Daddy.”
“Nobody can make you feel the way I do,” I say, and I mean it. I fuck her harder, getting deep inside of her. She moans and I stifle it with a kiss. I know I’m hitting her spot and she’s close, so fucking close. I keep stroking her, fucking her, letting her moan into my mouth as my cock fills her tight pussy.
I can feel my own orgasm growing inside of me. I don’t know how much longer I can last. I fuck her like an animal, rocking her tight cunt, working her deep and hard. I want to push her past her limits, make her feel something she never pictured before.
When her hand tightens down on the edge of the counter, I know she’s coming. I move back and let her come, her moans escaping her mouth in low and deep gasps. I cover her lips with my hand and keep fucking her, pressing her back into the cabinets, crushing her body as I slam into her cunt.
She comes with her whole body and it drives me absolutely insane. I can’t control myself this time as she squirms underneath me, moaning into my palm. My own orgasm breaks through me and I explode into her pussy, coming deep inside of her. I grunt but don’t let myself get too quiet as I stroke into her pussy, filling her with heavy and thick spurts.
Slowly our orgasms finish and I collapse back against the counter, breathing deeply as she hops down.
I grin at her and pull her against me. She rests her head against my chest and puts her arms around my waist as I hold her.
We’re quiet for a few minutes. She looks up at me with a little smile on her face. “That was unexpected.”
“Was it?” I shrug. “You should have seen it coming, wearing that.”
Her smile gets bigger. “You like it?”
“Like it? I fucking love it. I couldn’t stand thinking about you out in that club in that outfit.”
“I knew you’d be jealous.” Her smile doesn’t go away.
“You wanted me to be?”
She nods once. “I had to know.”
I look down at her and smile slightly. “And now you do.”
“I guess so.”
I kiss her softly on the lips. “You’re mine, Sydney. You’re all fucking mine.”
“That’s right,” she whispers. “I’m yours. And you’re my Daddy. You’ll take care of me.”
“Always. I’ll always give you what you need.”
We kiss there in the kitchen, still half naked, but I don’t care. In this moment, nothing else matters but Sydney. She’s right, I’ll always take care of her no matter what happens. She’ll always be safe with me, always protected, always. No matter what happens in the future, she has to know that.
26
Sydney
We go to bed in separate rooms, but all I can dream about is Connor.
He didn’t need to say how he felt last night. It was obvious the second he saw me in the kitchen. He walked into the room and had this look in his eyes like he couldn’t look away from me even if he tried. I’ve never felt so wanted in my entire life, but when he looks at me, I suddenly feel like I’m alive.
I can barely believe how he makes me feel. If I wasn’t sure that I made him feel the same way before, I think I can start to put those fears behind me.
In the club with Macy, I didn’t dance with a single guy. I didn’t tell him that, of course, but it’s the truth. Guys came up to me and asked me, offered me drinks and all that, but I turned down every one. Macy thought I was insane, but every guy that approached me just paled in comparison to my Daddy.
They just weren’t worth it, but Connor is worth anything. Macy coul
dn’t understand that and probably never will. I wanted to leave as soon as we got there, but I had to stick around considering I was the one that made the plans to begin with. She seemed like she was having a good time at least, while I mostly kept to myself, dancing with Macy when she didn’t have a guy, and drinking a gin and tonic that I bought for myself.
I felt relief when I saw him there in the kitchen after I got home. I was afraid that he’d be gone or that he wouldn’t want to see me. I got dressed up and made sure he saw what I was wearing, hoping to entice him, and it worked. At least, I think it worked.
I wake up early the next morning to the sound of my door creaking open. I should feel afraid, but for some reason I know I’m not in danger. I look up and Connor sneaks into my room, a small smile on his face.
“What time is it?” I mumble.
“Early,” he says. “Your mother won’t be up for another hour. Come have breakfast with me.”
I blink at him and rub my eyes. “Are you sure?”
“I’m positive. Come on. She’ll be up in an hour.”
I smile and get out of bed. I’m exhausted, but I can’t help but want to be around him. I throw on some shorts and follow him downstairs.
Coffee is brewing and he already started cooking pancakes. He flips the ones on the stove and has to toss them with a laugh because he let them burn. He cooks up a short stack for both of us before setting it all up on the table.
I watch him as he cooks, marveling at the way he moves. I surprise myself all over again at how badly I realize that I need him and how head over heels I feel. I thought it was just a physical things, or at least that’s how it was at first. Now though, it’s becoming a lot more than that, and it scares me a little bit.
I needed direction in my life, but I never thought an older man like Connor would be that direction. I craved something to give my days meaning, something that wasn’t what everyone in my family became. And Connor can offer me all of that and more.