by Sol Crafter, Diana Sheridan, Talya Andor, Lacie J. Archer, Angel Propps
"That's completely different!" Marty rolled the top down on the bag of chips and held it over his lap with both hands. "When we were cosplaying, nobody knew who we were in real life so anything they said was just bullshit."
"Well, anybody talking about us on the Internet doesn't know us either," Jim said, then seemed to realize how pithy he sounded. "Seriously, you shouldn't let yourself get all upset over what a bunch of strangers have to say. In fact, you're better off not even looking at any of that stuff. It's just going to freak you out for no reason."
Except, Marty had a reason to be worried. He had real feelings for Jim, and while he had promised himself that they would just stay friends, he hated the thought that Jim might hear some of the worst things people were saying and decide to distance himself. Even if he just did it until the interest died down, they could be looking at long stretches of time when they wouldn't see each other. And it wasn't like Marty could blame him either, since a big part of Jim's career was based on his appeal to the fans.
A lot of the things people imagined were going on between him and Jim were too disturbing to ever speculate about and he wouldn't be running anymore Internet ego-searches. People were free to think what they wanted, but he was free not to have to know about any of it. He dreaded Jim's response if he ever learned of even half of the things people were saying.
Marty had missed Jim to ridiculous degrees while he was away on tour, so how would it feel not to have him around at all? Before Jim had moved to town, they'd spent years without seeing each other and it had been perfectly fine. They'd maintained their friendship through phone calls and email and it had been okay. Then Jim had moved close by and it was nice to have him around again in person. Marty realized that their friendship was one of the most important things he had in his life. He liked being able to see Jim face-to-face. He didn't want to have to get used to Jim being gone again.
*~*~*
Marty wasn't saying anything. He was just sitting there with this miserable expression on his face and Jim really had to wonder what he was thinking.
Most of the time Marty was shockingly easy to read. He had his interests and he was enthusiastic about the things he enjoyed and there was no guile in his love of nerdy things. Jim had known him so long that all he had to do was follow the direction of Marty's gaze and he would know what he was thinking about. So it was a little off-putting to look at him now and draw a blank, like Marty had somehow morphed into a stranger within the last ten minutes.
"Are you okay?" he asked seriously. He didn't do comforting very well, but at least he was trying.
"I'm fine," Marty said shortly.
"You don't look fine." Jim drew on his courage and reached out to hook his fingers on Marty's chin and turn his face toward him. "You still look like you're stressing about something you're too scared to talk about. What's going on, no bullshit?"
Marty tried to duck his head away, but Jim forced eye contact until Marty finally sighed and gave in. "Some of the things people are saying could really affect your career if they became common knowledge. I don't want you to run off again."
"I'm not going to run off again," Jim promised. "I got a place near you because you're my best friend and I like hanging out with you. I really missed you over the years and I realized that I wanted to save our friendship. We both know that it was fading away before I decided to move here."
"I wouldn't have let that happen," Marty said, though he didn't sound very certain. Things had been sliding between the two of them for years, the phone calls becoming a lot briefer and the things they talked about becoming largely impersonal as they slowly went from friends to acquaintances.
"I realized that of all the things I was willing to give up for my career, you weren't one of them." Jim rested his hand on Marty's shoulder, feeling the bones beneath his skin. "It wasn't much of a decision at all to move close to you, and it's really worked out. I'm happier than I've been in a long time."
"But the things people are saying …" Marty shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes. "Your manager or your band or someone is going to say something about how people believe we're together. And after a while, you're going to start thinking that they're right, that all the rumors and innuendos aren't worth the trouble of hanging around. And pretty soon you're going to start distancing yourself and I've just gotten used to having you here again."
Jim listened to him babble. It was weird because it so rarely happened that Marty decided to have a complete and utter meltdown. Which meant he was really very upset and he'd probably been stewing in his worries for a long time.
Finally Marty wound down into silence and was leaning against the arm of the couch in a miserable slump. The lines of his shoulder said "Stay away," but everything else about him screamed "Don't leave me!"
Jim licked his lips. "Those pictures people keep making … they're not that bad." Marty scoffed and Jim shrugged. "Okay, so some of them are pretty bad and people really need to stop putting our heads on porn bodies, but it's not that big a deal. If you looked at date stamps, you'd see that there were tons of manipulated pictures before people ever found out we were friends, though mine mostly involved me shooting hearts and rainbows out my eyeballs towards Brian for some reason."
Marty huffed an unwilling laugh, but it was just a whisper of a sound.
"What I'm trying to say is that maybe I don't mind people thinking we're together," Jim said.
"What?"
Jim quirked his lips. "I was questioning my feelings for you and seeing those pictures … I think I'd already made up my mind, but I was too stupid to know it." He raked a hand through his hair. "I love you and I want to be with you and …" Marty was just staring at him. "And you really need to say something or change your expression even a little bit because I'm starting to think I really screwed up."
"What?" Marty was all wide eyes and O-shaped lips.
"Do you not have feelings for me? It's okay if you don't. We can just chalk this up to a stupid mistake and never speak of it again." Jim's cheeks were burning hot and cold sweat prickled his scalp and underarms. His stomach felt as though it had dropped around his knees and there was a good chance he was going to throw up. He had been so sure that he'd been reading things right, but now he felt like crawling into a hole for a few weeks. "I'm totally embarrassed, of course, but I'll live and we can just pretend this never happened. Not let it ruin our friendship."
Marty's frozen expression shifted with amazing suddenness into an ear-to-ear smirk. His eyes squeezed half-shut in delight and Jim had no idea what it meant until Marty slid across the couch, shoving Jim's feet to the floor, and wrapped his arms around him. "I swear, if you're fucking with me, I'm going to have to cut you," he breathed into Jim's neck.
"Your threats are meaningless." Jim squeezed him tightly, and for about the dozenth time he reminded himself to start feeding Marty up because he was way too bony under his tee shirt. The thought of shoving food in Marty's face for the next hundred years made something in his chest ping with happiness. Because this was something he really wanted to last.
Then Marty was kissing him and it was the closest he'd ever come to experiencing something perfect.
Sex was an awkward undertaking the first time they tried it. Not just because neither wanted to be the one to mess things up, but also because they'd been friends forever and there was this strange disconnect between that and becoming lovers. Still, they persevered through all the hardships and any lingering awkwardness was smoothed away. Plus, it was surprisingly fun.
Marty had always been pretty blasé about his sexuality. He'd had a couple of girlfriends just to test things out, but he'd been about twenty-two when he'd decided once and for all to lay aside the idea of bisexuality and just accept the fact that he was gay. Jim though, he'd had sex with more women than Marty ever wanted to know about, but he'd never done more with a man than drunken fumbles. So they both had plenty of experience in getting off, they just had to tweak things around until it was goo
d between the two of them.
And once they hit the point where it was good, it became really good. Not "Marty was about to litter the bedroom with hearts and flowers and have his bed permanently bronzed as a memento to their true and awesome love for each other" good, but he was thinking about getting a "Thanks for the best sex ever" card made just so he could see Jim's expression when he opened it.
He was ridiculously happy, not just because of all the sex he was having, but because he was in love with Jim. He wasn't fool enough to believe these euphorically high feelings would last forever, but he knew he would always want Jim. So he didn't see anything wrong with enjoying the great feelings for as long as they lasted.
Which was how he found himself laughing and whooping from the bow of a speeding boat. It was probably a bit too late in the year for them to be doing it, but he didn't mind that he was wearing jeans with a long sleeved shirt and a thick vest beneath his life jacket. The cold spray against his face actually felt refreshing.
Jim had brought him out to the lake for what was supposed to be fishing. Instead, Jim had been driving the boat around with reckless abandon, a giant grin on his face. He hadn't been able to rent a cabin cruiser on such short notice, but he'd still managed to get a powerboat and seemed to be having more fun than was strictly safe.
Marty had been scared for a few minutes and he'd thought about pointing out the stupidity of trying to fish after stirring up the water, but he'd finally just not worried about it and started enjoying the moment. There was no one else out on the water with them and there wasn't anything for them to run into. Jim wasn't even going at the top speed available; he was just going really fast.
The only one that didn't seem to be enjoying himself a whole lot was the tiny figure of Antonio standing on the pier, his arms akimbo. Even though he couldn't see the guy's expression, Marty had a feeling that he was scowling and worrying after his job. He actually felt a bit sympathetic toward Antonio, who was undoubtedly worrying that they were about to kill themselves, but he couldn't help laughing.
The wind was blowing in his face, his hair was wild around his head, he could taste the spray against his lips, and he felt as though they were flying across the surface of the water. His lips were pulled back in an exhilarated grin as he gripped the handrails tightly from where he knelt on the cushions of the seat.
He turned his head to look over his shoulder and his eye was caught by Jim standing at the steering wheel, his right hand on the speed control. Jim hadn't shaved in a couple of days and he was wearing a gray sweatshirt under his life jacket, the hood framing the back of his head like wings. Jim's teeth shone as he smiled and his eyes were half-squinted shut against the rush of the wind with his light brown hair blowing straight back from his head. He was handsome and strong and looked like he should have been on an album cover.
There were times when Marty wondered how anyone could be as good looking as Jim. It seemed highly unfair that there were people like him in the world making everyone else look bad just by breathing. Even unshaven and in need of a shower, he looked like a wet-dream come to life.
Marty turned back around and whooped loudly as they hit a small swell and rose up out of the water. His stomach stayed in the air for a few seconds longer after they came back down and if he hadn't taken Dramamine earlier there would have been a mess over the side of the boat. As it was, his exhilarated grin threatened to split his face.
"Turning!" Jim shouted in warning and Marty held on tighter as they banked almost too sharply and made another speedy circuit around the lake. It felt as though they were going to flip over, but they didn't, and he laughed loudly.
Stepping onto dry land after having been on the boat was strange, his knees feeling like they were going to fold out from under him. He wondered if this was how baby animals felt when they first tried to walk.
Antonio was standing on the pier watching them come toward him, his arms crossed and his mouth pinched tight. He didn't say anything though. Marty was relieved not to have to witness some kind of fight between Jim and the bodyguard. Not that he blamed the guy for worrying, they'd been really booking it across the water and if anything had happened there wasn't a whole lot he would have been able to do.
"Are the tents all set up?" Jim asked, pulling even with Antonio.
"Yes," Antonio said shortly. "That guy you hired came out with his son and they set everything up just the way you wanted."
"Good." Jim grabbed Marty's sleeve and tugged him close. "We are going to have an awesome weekend."
"Sure." Marty leaned a little against Jim's side, feeling the warmth of him through his clothes. "And now you're going to feed me, right?"
"Of course. There're tons of delicious processed meat tubes in your future." Jim grinned when he saw Marty's expression. "There also might be a couple of sirloin steaks, though I'll have to search the cooler."
"Please do," Marty said. "I feel the need to consume mass quantities. But you know I'm not a big hotdog fan ever since I saw that video online."
Jim led him away from the lake and Marty trusted him to know where they were going as he looked around.
The lake was shining blue and the bank around it had been cleared for swimmers, the fine-grain sand sifted smooth. There was a slight upward slant as they left the lake behind, passing under spindly looking conifers that had shed needles and sharp smelling sap everywhere. The area toward the campgrounds had plenty of trees and he could see rustic cabins peeking out here and there. The dirt crunched beneath his feet as they moved from the open areas to follow the dirt path beneath the trees. Marty caught sight of some quick moving chipmunks and squirrels. He couldn't help the smile that tugged his lips as he saw a squirrel leap a seemingly impossible distance between two trees before disappearing into the branches.
He hadn't known they were going to come here. Jim had just told him to keep his weekend open then surprised him six hours earlier by showing up on his doorstep and telling him to pack a bag for camping. He'd barely had time to throw some clothes into a backpack and lay out food and water for Mr. Vincenzo Emilio Estevez before Jim was hustling him out the door.
Marty had never had a strong affinity for the outdoors, but Jim knew that. He wasn't too worried that he was going to end up regretting the trip. He just hoped that Jim had brought some kind of bug deterrent, because when he looked back he could already see buzzing bodies rising up from around the lake and he really didn't want to be sucked dry by mosquitoes.
"Here we are," Jim said, waving his arm expansively.
It was a man-made clearing with the trees, the ground pounded flat by years of feet. Two large tents had been set up some distance from each other. Off to one side, a picnic table and a grill were bolted to the ground. Some distance from the table was a circle of stones protecting a burnt area that looked as if it had hosted a thousand campfires. A pile of firewood was neatly stacked next to the pit, along with a big blue cooler, the white lid firmly closed.
"What do you think?" Jim asked.
"It looks good." Marty walked over to the table and sat down on the wooden bench seat. His legs still felt unsteady, but he was smiling. "And now you're going to cook me a gourmet meal, woodland style, and we're going to sing songs around the campfire and roast marshmallows, right?"
Jim and Antonio went to the pit and began stacking kindling in a cross-hatch pattern. "I don't know if we'll sing songs, but we're definitely be eating the hell out of some food," Jim said. "I'm starving after driving that boat."
Marty leaned his arm against the table and watched them work. "I would have thought you'd still be full after eating that whole bag of beef jerky and liter of Coke," he teased.
Jim slanted him a quick look, and then bent back over the fire he was coaxing alight. "You're lucky you're so pretty, that's all I'm saying."
Marty laughed.
After a dinner of steak, sweet potatoes with melted marshmallow, roasted vegetables, and a wine so fancy Marty didn't even try to pronounce the name, he was
already half-asleep before Jim forced him up and led him to the restroom to clean his teeth. It was one of those metal and cinder block things that always felt a bit claustrophobic and seemed dirty even when it was clean. It didn't even have a mirror, probably because the park was worried someone would break the glass to use as a blade and re-enact a slasher movie.
Marty yawned and washed his face one last time in the cold water, then followed Jim back to camp. While they'd been gone, lanterns had been lit inside the tents, giving them a warm, inviting glow.
"Aren't you going to sleep?" Marty asked Antonio, who had taken up post in a folding chair next to the campfire.
Antonio gave him a smile. "Later. I want to sit here for a while." He had a black and red checkered blanket spread across his lap and he'd lit a new citronella candle to keep the mosquitoes at bay. He held a stick in his hand and occasionally poked the fire, causing orange sparks to rise up in the air briefly before burning out.
"Good night," Jim said. He grabbed Marty's arm to pull him into one of the tents. Marty waved his hand at Antonio and fought not to blush as he ducked through the doorway.
Marty looked around the tent, taking in how spacious it was with its king-sized air mattress. He had to laugh when Jim unrolled the red sleeping bag, revealing a giant unicorn design. "What the hell?"
Jim shrugged with a grin. "I thought we were going with a theme. Unicorns and man-sex virginity, isn't that our thing?"
"Except you're not a man-sex virgin anymore," Marty said, unzipping his vest and tossing it toward a corner, "and I haven't been one for several years."
Jim pouted. "Can't we just pretend for a little while? I always wanted to be the guy debauching sexy virgins and trapping you in my wiles."
"Which means what exactly?" Marty pulled his shirt off over his head and unzipped his jeans, then paused a second when he realized Jim's eyes were watching him hotly. He slowed his movements, deliberately drawing out shimmying out of his jeans for as long as possible. Though there wasn't much he could do to make taking off his socks sexy.