by Sol Crafter, Diana Sheridan, Talya Andor, Lacie J. Archer, Angel Propps
"It wasn't a performance," Bailey said, anguished. "That was … You wouldn't listen to me, Tor. I didn't know how to get through to you. You thought I didn't mean it. So the only thing I could think of was to write a song. It's what we do. You and me, together. We create things."
"We create satire," Tor said, the corner of his mouth twitching in a sneer.
"Did that sound like a satire to you?" Bailey demanded, making a vehement gesture.
"It sounded like you might be making fun of my feelings," Tor said, but there was doubt in his eyes. He wouldn't quite look at Bailey, still.
"No," Bailey said, stung. "That song was my feelings for you. I thought … I thought it was my last chance to get you to really hear what I was saying."
Tor inhaled sharply, but continued to stare at the wall. "What are you saying, then, Bailey?"
"I care about you," Bailey said passionately. "Not Gunner, not anyone who doesn't really see me for who I am, the way you do. You put up with me and pick up my messes and pull me back together again when I'm a wreck, and you don't judge me for it, you don't ask me to be someone I'm not, you just … you care about me. And I see that now. I wish I'd seen it before."
Tor was looking at him now. In his eyes was some new mix of emotion that Bailey couldn't identify; something he'd never seen before.
"Before it was too late," Bailey concluded miserably, because it had to be too late now. He'd ruined his last chance.
"You want that?" Tor said, sounding hesitant. "From me?"
"We're great together," Bailey said, wiping at the corner of one eye to forestall a tear before it could form. "We already are. But I want to … I just wanna be with you. And I know that I can't say that I always have wanted that, but if you say yes, then I always will." He met Tor's eyes steadily when Tor turned and scrutinized him, brows creasing in a slight frown.
Tor kept looking at him for such a long time, Bailey's tentative hopes began to wither once more.
"It's funny," Tor said, aloud but speaking as if it were to himself. "Or is it funny? That's all I ever wanted from you—for you to see me for everything I am. Only, I thought it was never possible."
"It is," Bailey said, and caught his breath. "Just don't throw me out again. Listen to what I'm saying this time."
"You never said you wanted that," Tor replied.
Bailey blinked at him dumbly. "What?"
"You never said," Tor repeated. "You didn't tell me you wanted to be with me, Bailey."
"I must have," Bailey said, shaking his head. "Wait … didn't I?"
"No," Tor stated, taking a step closer. "Believe me, I'd have noticed. You tried to seduce me. But you never said you wanted more."
Bailey put his hands over his face. "Oh, my God," he said, sifting through his memory. "What. No. Please tell me I'm not that stupid." He peeked through his fingers at Tor.
Tor was regarding him as though he were the most precious thing on earth. "All right," he said with a little smile. "I won't."
"Can you just shut up and kiss me?" Bailey growled. "We can discuss how dense I've been later. But if you want me, I am yours. Not just sex; all of me."
Tor caught Bailey's face between his hands and drew him in for a kiss.
Exhilaration sang through Bailey as he closed his eyes and cooperated with enthusiasm. The first few moments of a kiss told him a lot about the other person—their style, even a hint of what things would be like in bed. Tor's lips caught at his, fit against his mouth just so, and when a hint of tongue ran over Bailey's bottom lip, he opened to it gladly. Even then, Tor teased him with brief, shallow flicks of his tongue, drawing Bailey out until he surged forward. They pressed together and shared the deepening intensity of their kiss.
When at last Bailey drew back, he was breathless. It had been thoroughly satisfying, tantalizing while leaving him eager for more.
"Did I pass?" Tor murmured.
Bailey's lips curved up. "You know my methods," he accused, tone fond.
Tor chuckled, warm breath pouring over Bailey's wet bottom lip, and nudged in close, pressing the tip of his nose to Bailey's. "Well?"
"Just right," Bailey confirmed. "A good fit. Remind me why we haven't done this, before?"
Tor tensed, but his hands slid up Bailey's neck, nimble fingers going into Bailey's hair and tangling with the long strands. It was a simple change in his posture, but one Bailey noticed, because he was paying attention now.
"How long?" Bailey asked softly. He sucked in a sudden breath, angry with himself for a moment because he'd missed it for so long. If he'd noticed Tor's feelings sooner, they could have been so much more, all this time.
"Does it matter?" Tor replied, shifting closer until there was no space between their bodies. "There's time for everything, Bailey, and maybe it didn't happen before because it wasn't right, for us."
Bailey bit his lip, but he nodded. He pressed a quick kiss to Tor's mouth. "Let's focus on how long we'll have from now on, then."
Tor pulled him into his arms, stroking over Bailey's back as he kissed him again. His kisses were firm without being demanding, sharing the lead back and forth between them. He was good at it, Bailey thought, after trading tongue and breath for so long with their bodies pressed closer than close, he wanted them to seek out a horizontal surface to make use of.
They resurfaced from the kiss, each of them breathing harder. Tor's fingers tugged his hair ever so softly.
"You want to …?" Tor began.
"Couch?" Bailey filled in, eager to continue along those lines. He wanted to get his hands under Tor's shirt and explore the firm muscles that he knew were there, but had been so rarely displayed.
Tor hesitated, hazel eyes darkening as they searched Bailey's face. "Bed, if you like," he said instead, and drew back as though he thought he'd offered too much.
Bailey twined closer. "Take me to bed; yes, please," he said huskily, burying his face in Tor's neck. He dragged in a breath, taking the scent of Tor along with him. He wanted to memorize it, and immerse himself in it forever. Whatever happened between them, he wanted it to endure.
A tremor seemed to go through Tor's body, and he pulled Bailey closer, arms going around his back and hugging them tightly together. He pressed small kisses against Bailey's ear, the side of his head, and tugged at his hair to get access to his mouth again. They shared another long, hot kiss and when they broke from it, Tor rested his forehead against Bailey's.
The fervent response, combined with the brief hesitation, made Bailey self-conscious. He wasn't sure if Tor did want to go all the way so soon, or whether he was following Bailey's lead. He didn't want Tor to think that this was like all the other relationships where he'd jumped in feet first and pants off, and they had ended because however great the sex was, everything else didn't fit. It dawned on Bailey in that moment that the other half of the equation had been him, and the fact that he hadn't made time for his significant others. Not the way he'd always made time for Tor.
"Hey," Bailey murmured, settling a hand against Tor's lats and kneading there. "We don't have to, right away, if you don't want to. If you'd rather wait …"
"No way," Tor responded with a fierceness that made Bailey grin. "You've made me wait long enough."
Bailey bit his lip, stifling the automatic urge to ask how long again.
"After years of build-up, I think it's safe to say we can handle a relationship," Tor continued. "Now let's see how the sexual chemistry holds up."
"Mm, based on that kiss, I have no worries," Bailey assured him. He went along when Tor took him by the hand and led him through his house. It hadn't changed much from the last time Bailey had been there; mostly bare light gray walls, black furniture here and there, pieces of art in strategic places that were hung with simple black frames. It left Bailey considering whether Tor would let him liven things up with color when they moved in together, and that thought had him grinning by the time they reached the bedroom.
"What's that for?" Tor wondered, turning to him and pulling him in close a
gain, stroking the corner of his mouth with a thumb.
"As fast as we're moving now, in my head I've jumped ahead even further," Bailey admitted.
Tor's eyes were wondering. "Like I'm surprised by that," he murmured. "My only surprise is that you wanted me."
Bailey caught his breath. "I always wanted you," he protested. "But I … it wasn't the right time, back then, so I just … made myself stop thinking about it. Then I tried to find what I needed everywhere else."
Tor raised his brows. "Even with Gunner," he observed, mouth quirking.
"That was a mistake," Bailey said with a groan. "Please, don't cast it up to me again. Ugh, talk about crossed signals. Still, it wasn't worse than … than you thinking I only wanted … that I …"
Tor silenced him with another kiss. "For someone so eloquent, you can be really awful at expressing yourself," he said, after they'd pulled apart for a breather.
Bailey stuck his tongue out, drawing back quickly when Tor moved to trap it with his lips. "Comes with the territory," he said. He smiled over at Tor. "So it's the right time for us?"
Tor was studying his face again with keen appraisal. He bobbed his head in a brief nod. "Now it is," he said softly.
He leaned in for another kiss, and Bailey met him more than halfway.
They stripped each other down beside the bed, taking it slow. Bailey exulted over every inch of Tor that he uncovered. Because Tor had been so meticulous about avoiding the prospect of dressing or undressing around Bailey for years, it had been a long time since they'd seen each other in anything close to this kind of undress. Tor had seen him that night on the bus, of course, but it had been brief, dark, and Tor had been angry.
Bailey watched Tor's eyes and mouth as much as he admired the body that was uncovered for his perusal. His stomach did a funny little flip each time Tor smiled as he gazed at him, or reached out to stroke his arm, his side, one of the tattoos on his hip. Bailey stood close and ran his hands over Tor's firm, tight pectorals and the ridges of his abdomen, faint but defined enough to feel each one. When Tor flexed, Bailey started and they both snickered.
He leaned against Tor and explored further, hands resting on the belt that kept his pants above his trim hips.
"I want," Bailey started. He moistened suddenly dry lips with his tongue. He couldn't even begin to cover all of it.
"I'm yours," Tor answered that mostly unspoken request.
Bailey drew back far enough to gaze into his face. "You really are, aren't you?" he said in wonder.
Tor averted his eyes, and though the light in the bedroom was dim, he appeared embarrassed, possibly even shy. His face might have been red, but it was hard to tell.
"Sorry for making you wait," Bailey whispered, feeling stupid again. He began to draw his hands away from Tor's belt.
Tor captured his hands and held them there. "Be mine now, Bailey; that's all I care about."
Bailey shook his head. "You're the only one who can't get sick of me, Tor; you'll never get rid of me now." For the first time in longer than he could remember, perhaps ever, his heart was singing within him. Totally gone for you, he remembered the moment he'd thought that as he worked on his disastrous love confession. He made a fumbling attempt to put it into words. "You make me sing. You do."
They looked at one another and began to kiss again, more passionately than before. Bailey got an arm around Tor's naked back and worked on his pants one-handed; Tor put a hand to his face to hold him there, as though he'd move away now. There was no chance of that. His other hand helped Bailey get his pants undone and together they pushed them down enough to fall off.
Bailey tried to chuckle into the kiss and found himself lifted up off the ground, held against Tor's body as Tor got both arms around him. He was tall and lean, but still bony enough to have mass to topple them both. They fell to the bed, bumping skulls and exclaiming, parting from one another to check for injuries before Tor caressed a hand from tattooed hip to pierced nipple along Bailey's side and they moved in for another kiss.
"I want you to top," Bailey said after Tor drew a line of heat along his bottom lip and pulled back, eyes hooded and desirous. "I want you in me."
Tor didn't nod, didn't ask if he was sure, only leaned in to capture Bailey's mouth again, pushing his tongue inside to claim him. They shuddered together and Tor put a leg between his, rolling him on the bedspread and putting his weight on him. Bailey sighed into the kiss and arched his hips up, enjoying the way Tor pinned him down. It made him feel secure, anchored.
With most of his past lovers, Bailey hadn't spent much time on foreplay. The majority had been guys, after all, and if they were hard, they were ready.
It was different with Tor. Instead of diving right in, going for the lube or pushing Bailey's underwear down, Tor kept kissing him, stroking his body as he did. He thumbed the tiny coins of Bailey's nipples and made him squirm, and rolled his pelvis and got him hard and panting as their cocks pressed together through the thin layers of fabric that separated them. Tor seemed determined to map every inch of Bailey's body with his lips and tongue, and Bailey discovered that he had no objections along the way.
By the time Tor got down to his belly, nosing along the crisp trail of hair that disappeared into his briefs, Bailey was a panting, trembling wreck. He was suspended in the agony of delight over what Tor was doing, and the inability to ask him to move further or faster, simply because Tor's current attentions had him riveted. Bailey drew his nails carefully along Tor's shoulders, cupping the bones of his skull behind his ears, and Tor looked up at him with his lips parted, eyes dark.
"You want me …" Tor began, and Bailey interrupted with a demanding, "Yes." He couldn't wait any longer.
Tor broke into a pleased, wondering smile and began to take Bailey's briefs off, grunting as Bailey's leg pressed into his sternum when he lifted his hips to cooperate with removal. He regarded Bailey's cock with rapt intensity for a moment, as though committing it to memory or simply pleased to be there, and took it in hand.
Bailey pressed his lips together and his head went back as Tor's hand went up and down. He was good at it, unsurprisingly; his talented guitarist's fingers played Bailey as easily as any of his six-strings. When he bent his head to draw Bailey in, though, it was even better.
With fingers and lips, Tor took him in, giving Bailey so much pleasure he thought he'd burst from it. It had been a while since he'd gotten head; he was more used to giving it, and being in the position that Tor would be during their lovemaking. Bailey was used to topping, partly because he was a control freak, never quite trusting others to do by him as he did by his lovers. He wanted to give that control over to Tor now, because he was sure Tor would make it good. It was the first of many things he wanted to give to Tor, now.
Tor sucked on his cock with such single-minded intensity, Bailey was sure he'd come far sooner than he was ready. Getting head tended to be a prelude rather than a main event—a sensual tease, good but not usually enough to get him off. With Tor, it was like he was a teenager again. He had to clamp his thighs around Tor's head, tugging at his hair and stroking his forehead and temples to get his attention.
When Tor lifted his head, giving Bailey a glimpse of his wet lips and blown-pupiled eyes, Bailey could have lost it right then.
"Need you," Bailey gasped, re-settling his legs and flexing them around Tor's shoulders.
Tor nodded, his eyes dark with lust as he got up on his knees. He retrieved a wrapped condom and lube from the bedside drawer, handing the packet to Bailey before sinking down between Bailey's legs again.
Bailey was quick to unwrap the condom and look around for a towel or something, getting a handful of Kleenex instead. He stifled the urge to ask how long it had been since Tor's last lover; how long the accoutrements of sex had been stowed away in that drawer. If Bailey played his cards right, as he hoped, he'd be the last and he'd never have to worry about that again.
Though foreplay hadn't been much of a feature during sex for Bailey,
he was definitely a fan of extended and careful prep. Here, too, Tor took the lead and showed that he knew what he was doing. His fingers pressed in one by one, and he jacked Bailey's cock and watched his face, paying attention to his bodily cues as Bailey's body took him to each knuckle. Bailey barely had to hiss or wince before Tor was drawing back, or asking him how he needed to adjust the angle.
"Shift up a bit," Tor ordered, reaching for a pillow that Bailey handed over with a grin. Tor used it to prop his pelvis at a more forgiving angle, and they both sighed as it made Bailey's body open more easily to exploring fingers.
"That's good," Bailey said. He let a moan slip free as Tor stroked his fingers in, finding a good pace and a spot that was particularly sensitive. "Ohh, right there …"
"How do you want me?" Tor asked, leaning down to kiss Bailey's knee.
Bailey flashed a mischievous grin between his legs. "That's a question for next time. How I want you to have me, though … if you put me on my side? With my leg up? I want kisses, during."
Tor knelt up to nuzzle at his mouth, catching his lip and kissing him powerfully. "Of course you do," he replied.
"Mm, yes, like that."
They shifted positions when Tor withdrew his fingers, and Bailey settled on his side, gazing up at Tor with a smile just that side of demure. Tor gazed down at him, appearing dumbstruck as he rolled the condom on and put a hand on his hip, preparing to enter him.
"You know, I—" Tor began, as Bailey said, "Tor, I wanted you to know—" and they broke off with self-conscious laughs.
Tor gestured to him. Bailey shook his head, mouthing "no, you." Tor wrinkled his nose and repeated the head-shake.
"You know," Tor began again. He stopped. His face said everything that his words couldn't.
"I know," Bailey told him, putting his hand to Tor's and squeezing it. "Now show me, okay?"
Tor nodded, laced his fingers with Bailey's, and began to press inside of him.
It was an effort not to tense up, and even then, Bailey didn't quite manage that. It had been a long time since he'd accepted someone into his body, and though he wanted it very much, that didn't make it easier. Tor was slow and patient with him, though, and stroked his hip rhythmically and bent over him to trade leisurely kisses until they were fully pressed together.