by Sa'id Salaam
“I can pay for this stuff if you’d like,” Deidra offered. She had the money but was relieved when he’d declined.
“That won’t be necessary, just don’t let it happen again or we will press charges!” He boomed.
“You don’t have to worry about that,” grandma assured him. Cameisha jumped up and fell in step behind her as she marched out. They were half way uptown before she finally spoke to the distraught girl.
“What did you learn today?” Deidra sighed. She was far more disappointed than angry. She knew what the cause of the problem was. She just hoped Cameisha did too.
“Not to be a follower,” she replied proving that she did.
“Good!” grandma said emphatically. “I don’t mind you having friends, you’re young and need people your own age, but Cameisha those girls are temporary. Next year when you go to college they will be right there on that bench.”
“I know grandma, I know,” Cameisha assured her putting the incident behind them.
******
“Meisha! Ayo Meisha!” Aqua screamed from the courtyard. The sense of urgency in her voice made Cameisha abandon her studies to investigate.
“Oh snap!” she exclaimed as she saw what had them so excited. After pulling on a pair of sweat pants over her shorts she rushed down to the court yard.
“Sup girlie!” she exclaimed seeing Crystalline back on the scene. Then she noticed the wheelchair.
“Un,uh don’t start frowning up on me now,” Crystalline said seeing her reaction. “It's all good”.
‘It’s all good’ is a term that’s known as an oxy-moron. People use it even when it’s all bad. Dude blow trial and say ‘the judge gave me twenty to life, but, it’s all good’. The fuck it is.
“It is?” Cameisha frowned. She was still unfamiliar with the phrase.
“Hell yeah! I can still hit the blunt!” she laughed and snatched the weed from Zaria. “Plus I can’t feel shit so them niggas with the big dicks can’t hurt me.”
“Ayo what’s up with Tay and them?” Dasia asked to change the subject.
“My brother said they all got a year,” Zaria replied.
“You see all these damn vultures,” Dasia said pointing to the new faces milling around the projects. Dudes from Nelson Ave had walked the two blocks to set up shop since all the dealers were gone.
The girls spent most of the day on their bench catching up. The next week was spent there as well since Crystalline couldn’t go anywhere. It was another week before they started leaving her there alone. It was summer after all and they could walk.
Chapter 24
“Man I wish I could go with y’all,” Crystalline moaned as the crew smoked blunts in their pre-party warm-up. The music was too loud for them to hear the utter desperation in her voice.
To the girls credit they did attempt to bring her along a few times, but that wheel chair was too much work. Even the wheel chair equipped buses would speed past the stop so they wouldn’t have to deal with it.
“Girl if you can’t walk, you can’t skate!” Zaria said not meaning it as harshly as it sounded.
The party at the Skate Key over in Harlem was the last Hoorah of the summer. School started next week and winter shortly after. This was it!
That’s probably why Cameisha finally took the blunt when it was passed. She inhaled a big drag and held it like she had watched her friends do daily.
“OK, big girl shit!” Dasia cheered her on.
“Bout time your ass got down,” Zaria co-signed Cameisha felt the warming glow seep through her system causing a smile to spread on her face. By the time they left the projects they all had a good buzz going. Crystalline did too, only she didn’t have anywhere to go. As her friends caught a cab she rolled into the courtyard.
“Ayo what’s good mama?” One of the renegades from Nelson asked as he took a seat on their bench. “You mind if I keep you company?”
“Only if you gonna spark that,” she said looking at the blunt tucked behind his ear.
“This that grown man,” he warned, letting her know the weed was laced. “They call me Mac by the way.
“Shit, I’m a grown woman,” Crystalline shot back proudly.
“Alright, so let’s slide in the stair case, let me see what you talking about.”
“Let’s roll,” she joked and turned her chair towards the closest building. Mac got behind her and pushed her inside.
Crystalline heard the sizzle of the blunt when Mac lit it up and smelled the stench of the cocaine. She knew it was going too far, but it beat being alone. Once the wooly blunt was finished Mac had no problem getting inside of her mouth.
Blowing a strange dude was somewhat distasteful, pun intended, but at least she had some attention. Some affection and a friend.
******
The Skate Key was by definition a skating rink but no one really came to skate. Since the teens who frequented it were too young to get into the real clubs they turned the skating rink into one. The rink was now a dance floor except for a few kids circumnavigating on wheels.
Cameisha was giddy from her usual shot gun inhalation of weed and sips from Aqua’s wine cooler. She still had finally hit the blunt directly. She would soon be smoking every time they hung out.
The weed smoke had loosened Cameisha’s inhibitions to the point that a pair a Dasia’s tight jeans didn’t seem so bad. She surprised everyone including herself in the cute outfits. A skin tight designer T-shirt revealed a perfect set of round breasts that competed with what the tight jeans displayed.
Once her eyes adjusted to the artificial blue light of the skating rink Cameisha got another surprise.
“Are they doing my dance?” She exclaimed at the dance floor full of kids doing the ‘fat-fat’. It was a highly embellished version now called the Mississippi,but at its root was the greasy burger.
The dance had spread throughout the five boroughs of New York City like a rumor. It even had a song and video dedicated to it. The girls feeling a sense of ownership, jealously rushed the dance floor to show them how it was done.
Cameisha got a great deal of attention when she began moving her curves to the music. Guys found a reason to gravitate in that direction for a closer inspection and girls hated her for it. Especially, Tovia.
“Ain’t that, that country bitch you let beat you up?” she demanded to Lola. Lola flinched twice at the statement. One for calling the brutal girl a bitch, and again from the memory of the beating that came with it.
It was automatic. Like a package deal. Like burger and fries, or peanut butter and jelly. Except this was ‘bitch’ and beat down, fish and grits; automatic.
“That don’t look like her,” Lola lied. She really just wanted to have fun. Meet some guys get some numbers. Nowhere in her hopes for the evening did she include getting her ass whipped, again.
“Bitch let me find out you getting soft on me!” Tovia spat complete with spit. “Go get Sha and Ree-Ree.”
Lola reluctantly gathered the rest of the girls from her projects. When they were all compiled they fell in beside thier commander and marched off to battle.
“Ayo look it!” Dasia warned with her normal theatrics. The two groups met in the center of the dance floor as innocents scrambled to get out of the way. The confrontation had ‘brawl’ written all over it.
“Bitch I don’t appreci…
A left, right combo is what’s known worldwide as a ‘two piece’. A phrase had yet to coil the brutal onslaught that cut Tovia off.
Luckily, the tight jeans prevented Cameisha from kicking her, but the punches and elbows she took instead didn’t make her feel so lucky. She felt woozy, sleepy, and nauseous, not lucky.
Lola snatched her away to prevent her from being pummeled any further. The move was taken as an act of aggression causing Zaria to swing. When she swung Ree-Ree swung, then Aqua swung, Sha swung and the melee was on.
With Tovia basically out on her feet the High Bridge girls easily whooped Bronx River Rats. This was what�
�s meant by “win some, lose some.”
Tovia didn’t like to lose any. Once she shook the cob webs out of her brain she pulled a knife. A press of the shiny button flicked the switch blade open with deadly beauty.
Angle and Zaria were stomping Ree-Ree as if she had caught fire and they wanted to put her out. Cameisha saw the blade flash as she thrust it at Angles side. She yelled a shriek of warning that could not be heard over the commotion.
The long, slender blade entered Angles chest from the side. The cowardly, sneak attack, blind sided to be precise. It slipped between two ribs and burst her heart much like a pin would a balloon. She was dead instantly but her eye’s fluttered as her brain adjusted to death. The shock of being newly deceased froze her in place for a few moments until nosey old gravity put its two cents in and pulled her to the ground.
No one wanted to be present at a murder scene when the cops arrived and the crowd dispersed accordingly. Angle’s friends rushed to her side as her killer left with hers. A small hole in her shirt traced with large amounts of blood lied about the extent of her injury.
“Angel, Angel wake up ma!” Aqua demanded as she cradled her dead friend.
Cameisha, who had seen dead people before understood the faraway look in her eyes. There would be no waking up for their friend, not on this side anyway.
“Come on y’all we gotta bounce,” Zaria warned as the sound of sirens grew closer.
“Go ‘head, I ain’t leaving her,” Aqua insisted as she rocked the eternally sleeping girl. Not needing to be told twice they rushed from the rink. A block away they hailed a taxi for the ride across the bridge.
Once they made it back to High Bridge each girl rushed off to their own buildings seeking the safety and comfort that only ‘home’ could give you. They just missed Crystalline being wheeled back into the staircase with yet another intruder.
She was going downhill fast on her new set of wheels.
Chapter 25
The news of Angle’s death spread so quickly throughout the projects that grandma knew what was keeping Cameisha in her room longer than usual that next morning. Hoping to ease the girl’s pain Deidra began breakfast. Her efforts were halted by an empty egg carton.
“Aw shoot!” She grumbled just as Cameisha emerged.
“What’s wrong grandma?” She inquired sincerely.
“Nothing baby, I’m about to run to the store for some eggs,” came the reply.
“I’ll go.”
“No, get some rest. I heard about your friend. I’m sorry for your loss,” Deidra said soothingly.
“I’m fine, I got it.” Cameisha assured her and she went to put her shoes on before she could protest further.
The projects had the dark aura of death as Cameisha strolled through the court yard. Plenty of High Bridge residents had been murdered since she came to live here so she recognized the somber mood.
“Ayo ma! Come here mama!” One of the imported dealers called out from the bench they set up shop from.
Cameisha just frowned up and kept walking without even glancing in their direction.
“She think she all that,” Crystalline said explaining the snub. She had become their unofficial mascot and her chair dubbed the ‘head mobile’. Now that she began smoking laced blunts the door to degradation was wide open.
“You’re the bitch who got bagged boosting my order?” Sincerity asked as Cameisha walked into the bodega. She glanced around the store and then behind her trying to locate the ‘bitch’.
“Are you talking to me?” Cameisha asked getting heated. The word bitch was a trigger and just like any trigger it set off an explosion.
“Yeah I’m talking to you,” Sincerity barked.
“My name ain’t bitch, if’n you call me that again I’m finna’ whoop yo ass,” Cameisha stated plainly.
“Girl don’t let that shit Karate Joe taught you go to your head!” She laughed at the threat. She may have found it amusing but didn’t call her out of her name again.
“Karate Joe is my father. You ever even think about stepping to me and I’ma show you all the shit he ain’t showed you!”
“Call me bitch again and you gone hafta’ show me,” Cameisha said not backing down an inch.
The two stared and studied each other for a few seconds that seemed much longer. It was like Kim Jung and Obama holding their nuts at each other. In the end they both decided that the eggs and juice they came for was a lot easier than Karate Joe-ing each other.
“Sorry about your girl. Angle was good people,” Sincerity offered sliding in an inaudible apology.
“Thank you,” Cameisha nodded accepting it.
“Fall through and smoke one Meisha,” she invited over her shoulder as she left.
Cameisha was grinning from ear to ear from both the invite and that the diva knew her name.
“Ok!!!” she called out after her. She had yet another surprise waiting on her when she returned with the eggs.
“Oh, I almost forgot, you got mail,” her grandmother said. Cameisha knew the woman well enough to know she wasn’t feeling whoever it was from. She wasn’t quite familiar with the government name written in chicken scratch but the jail stamp from Rikers Island she knew.
Cameisha knew the name from sharing classes with the sender if in name only. She smiled brightly as she took the letter, then rushed off to her room.
In the letter Tay showed off his illiteracy and bad grammar. She had to sit it down a few times to process what he might be trying to say. Through all the misspelled words and poor sentence structure he was proclaiming his love for her. It ended with the request to ride out the short bid with him.
“Of course I’ll hold you down!” Cameisha cheered to the letter. Realizing he couldn’t hear it ,she scribbled what would be the first of many letters back and forth.
After breakfast Cameisha decided to take Sincerity up on her offer to stop by. She slipped on a pair of sweat pants and pulled a t-shirt over her head. A small drop of blood on the sneakers she wore the night before caught her eye.
Tears warmed her face as the murder replayed in her mind. She selected another pair of sneakers but took the others along as well. She stopped by the trash compactor room and threw the evidence down the trash shute.
“What’s good lil’ mama?” Sincerity said cheerfully as she swung her door open to admit her guest.
“Chilin,” Cameisha replied sounding like a New York native. She gazed around the spectacular project unit with awe.
The thick shag carpet gave the impression of walking in sand. All the walls were painted a pale blue to contrast the baby blue leather sectional that took up the entire front room. A sixty inch TV was mounted on the only wall not completely covered in mirrors.
Her unit also faced east which gave a clear view of the courtyard. The unlucky residents with units on the West had to deal with looking at the Hudson River, Manhattan and spectacular sun-sets. Noone but her cared about that. They wanted to see the courtyard so they wouldn’t miss anything.
Peer pressure had led Cameisha to smoking weed almost daily now. Sincerity was not her peer so when she passed the blunt she took it. She hit the blunt exactly as her new mentor did even letting the smoke billow out of her mouth as she spoke as she did.
“Your girl is about to go out like a sucker,” Sincerity stated plainly as she glanced out upon the court yard.
Cameisha turned to see who she meant and saw the visiting drug dealers doing wheelies with Crystalline’s wheel chair. They propped her upon the bench while they took turns competing in the chair. She looked content as she pulled on a cocaine laced blunt.
“Yeah, I need to talk to her,” Cameisha frowned.
“Girl, worry about yourself. You ain’t from here and ain’t gonna stay here. The rest of those girls are stuck. Three and four generations,” she explained. “Some of this you take with you, some of it you’ll leave here. Feel me?”
“I feel you,” Cameisha lied. While it made sense it went against her earliest
lessons. Back in Longs Mississippi neighbors helped each other. No man, woman or child was left behind.
For the next several hours Cameisha sat and absorbed all that Sincerity gave. The several blunts they shared made sure the information reached the deepest recesses of her brain so she could call on it when she needed it.
“So you ain’t got no man?” The weed told Cameisha to ask.
“I guess,” Sincerity answered wistfully. “Only he ain’t the type of dude you can really have. I’m here for him whenever he decides to come around.”
“And when is that?” Cameisha inquired, misreading vulnerability.
“Trust me, when dude comes through, you’ll know it.”
Chapter 26
“Ayo Crystalline! What the fuck!” Zaria demanded when the crew confronted their wayward friend in the courtyard alone.
“I’m chillin yo’, doing me,” she spat back with contempt.
“Chillin? Bitch you wildin!” Dasia corrected. Aqua still felt inferior and didn’t speak while Cameisha didn’t feel it was her place.
“Whatever,” Crystalline said and lit a menthol.
“Bitch, Angle’sfuneral is today, you need to come on!” Zaria demanded.
“For real though,” Dasia co-signed, “we’ll take you on the train.”
“I’ll push and help you up the stairs,” Aqua offered.
“Y’all bitches ain’t wanna drag me along to no party and shit, but now y’all want me to come to a damn funeral! I ain’t going to no graveyard but once in my life, and when I do, I ain’t coming back!”
“That’s that bullshit!” Dasia declared and stormed off. Zaria pursed her lips and shook her head with disgust before turning to leave.
Aqua and Cameisha fell in step behind them leaving Crystalline alone in the courtyard. She wasn’t alone for long because not soon after, Rudy from Nelson Ave arrived on the scene. Seeing he had the girl all to himself he quickly rushed over.
“Ayo what’s good ma, can you fuck?” He asked eagerly. The blow jobs were cool but he wanted to fuck.