‘Amy can be a…a little unpredictable at times,’ Jess replied with difficulty.
‘Unpredictable? The words “walking menace” would be more accurate. It’s not funny, Jess!’ he continued, seeing her lips twitch.
‘No, of course it’s not,’ she agreed. ‘It’s just…’ Her rebellious lips refused to be stilled. ‘Greensay now appears to have a matching set of limping doctors.’
He didn’t look one bit amused. Instead, he grabbed the nearest file, glanced down at the name on it and barked, ‘Aziz Singh!’
Indira jumped like a startled rabbit. So did the rest of the waiting room, and everyone kept their eyes fixed firmly on their magazines as she picked up her small son and followed Ezra to his consulting room.
‘Boy, but he is in a foul mood,’ Cath muttered. ‘Got out of bed on the wrong side this morning, did he?’
‘I wouldn’t know,’ Jess replied, then coloured as she suddenly realised how wistful she’d sounded. ‘Look, would you mind bringing Grace along when she finally gets out of the toilet? My leg’s really bothering me this morning.’
‘Sure thing.’ Cath nodded, but Jess knew her receptionist wasn’t one bit deceived.
Why, oh, why couldn’t she have fallen in love with Fraser Kennedy? she wondered with a deep sigh as she went into her consulting room and closed the door. Fraser would have married her tomorrow if she had but said the word, and yet she’d had to go and fall in love with a man who was bossy, overbearing and opinionated.
A man who would be leaving the island in four days.
How was she going to bear it?
Because you have to, her heart sighed. There’s nothing else you can do.
A knock on her consulting-room door had her pasting a smile to her lips, but it wasn’t Grace Henderson, as she’d expected. It was Cath, with Simon and Elspeth Ralston and their little boy, Toby, and they all looked worried.
‘I’m sorry, Jess, but we seem to have a bit of an emergency here,’ Cath said. ‘Toby—’
‘I think he’s going blind, Doctor!’ Elspeth exclaimed tearfully, clutching her son to her chest. ‘His left eye looks all funny, and if he’s going blind, I don’t think I’ll be able to bear it. He’s so little—’
‘Why don’t you and your husband come in and sit down?’ Jess interrupted, nodding to Cath who made a discreet exit to warn Grace she could be in for a lengthy wait. ‘Now, Elspeth, take a deep breath and start at the beginning. When did you first think something was wrong with Toby’s eyesight?’
‘Yesterday—just after lunch,’ she replied. ‘I thought his eye looked a little bit red then, but Simon said he’d just poked his finger in it.’
‘He’s always doing that,’ her husband said defensively. ‘Or sticking things in his ear, or up his nose—’
‘And how would you know?’ Elspeth flared. ‘The only reason you’re home at the moment is because you hurt your hand on that damn boat. You’re never here when I need you. Sailing all the hours God sends—’
‘Is Toby’s eye redder this morning than it was yesterday?’ Jess asked, seeing the signs of a full-scale marital disagreement beginning.
Elspeth nodded. ‘He wouldn’t let me open the curtains when he got up—said the light hurt his eyes—and when he started walking into things, as though he couldn’t see them properly—’
‘His eye looks odd, too, Doctor,’ Simon chipped in. ‘The coloured bit doesn’t seem as round as it should be, and it’s a funny colour—not blue, like his other eye.’
‘Does your eye hurt at all, Toby?’ Jess asked gently. The little boy nodded, his bottom lip trembling, and she reached for her ophthalmoscope. ‘Elspeth, could you keep him as still as you can for me? OK, Toby, I’m just going to shine this little torch in your eye for a second. It won’t hurt, I promise,’ she continued as he squirmed in his mother’s arms, clearly not liking the idea one bit.
The white of Toby’s eye was certainly very red, especially the area near the iris, and, as Simon had said, the iris itself wasn’t quite as round or as blue as it should have been.
‘You said you first noticed the redness yesterday?’ Jess murmured.
Elspeth nodded.
‘And how long has the eye been watering?’
‘It started this morning.’ Elspeth clutched her son tighter. ‘Is…is he going blind, Doctor?’
Jess shook her head. ‘He has iritis—an inflammation of the coloured part of the eye. Attacks like this aren’t uncommon in children with juvenile arthritis, but it usually clears up in a couple of weeks.’
‘Then…it’s not serious?’ Elspeth asked, uncertainty and hope plain in her voice.
‘It could have been if you’d ignored it, but all he needs is some corticosteroid cream.’
Elspeth gasped with relief. ‘Oh, thank God! I thought…I was sure…’
‘He’ll be fine, Elspeth,’ Jess insisted. ‘I’ll give you a prescription for the cream, but don’t be over-generous with it. The tiniest amount is all that’s needed.’ Quickly she wrote out the prescription but when Simon took it from her she couldn’t help but glance down at his fingers. ‘Your hand’s looking good, Simon. Do you mind if I take a look?’
Obediently he held out his hand to her. ‘Dr Dunbar took out the stitches last week, and it seems OK, but I thought I’d have a lot more movement in it.’
Jess smiled reassuringly as she led the way out into the corridor. ‘Once you start physiotherapy it will soon regain all its old mobility.’
Simon looked relieved, then coloured slightly as his wife shot him a speaking look. ‘I never did thank you for speaking to Fraser Kennedy on my behalf, Doctor. I know I wouldn’t have a job if it weren’t for you.’
‘Nonsense,’ Jess protested. ‘Fraser just recognises a good worker when he’s got one.’
‘Yeah, right, and I’m the tooth fairy.’ Simon grinned. ‘Without you and Dr Dunbar—well, I don’t know what would have happened to me. Dr Dunbar’s leaving at the end of the week, isn’t he?’
Out of the corner of her eye Jess could see that Ezra had come out of his consulting room with Indira and Aziz.
‘Dr Dunbar was only filling in temporarily, Simon, and Dr Walton has excellent references.’
‘He’s going to have to be pretty spectacular to be anything like as good as Dr Dunbar.’
He would, but Jess had no intention of going down that road, and certainly not with a patient. ‘I’m sure everyone will soon get to know and like him,’ she said firmly. ‘I thought he sounded very nice on the phone.’
‘Yes, but what does Dr Dunbar think?’ Simon pressed. ‘I mean, does he feel he’s the right man for the job?’
Like Ezra’s opinion should matter? she thought, fuming inwardly. Like a man who’d been a member of her practice for a little over four weeks was entitled to an opinion?
‘Dr Dunbar thought he sounded perfect,’ she declared tightly, all too aware that Ezra was listening and daring him to contradict her. ‘In fact…in fact, he thinks Dr Walton will be a great asset to the practice.’
Like hell I do, Ezra thought grimly when Jess had disappeared into her consulting room. ‘Asset’ wasn’t the word which sprang into his mind whenever he thought about Jess’s new locum. It was something altogether more colourful and unprintable.
‘I am so sorry to have bothered you unnecessarily, Doctor,’ Indira murmured, her expression uncomfortable, embarrassed as he accompanied her back to the waiting room. ‘Nazir said I must not—that you had enough to do with all the tuberculosis tests—’
‘It’s never a bother when a child of Aziz’s age is unwell,’ he replied quickly, smiling down at her and the little boy in her arms. ‘OK, so this time he just has a bad case of toddler’s diarrhoea, but it could have been something more serious, and you were wise to bring him in.’
Indira looked relieved. ‘My neighbour said you would not think I was a nuisance.’
‘Of course you’re not,’ Ezra protested.
‘She is a nice girl, my
neighbour,’ Indira continued, ‘but, then, I have met so many nice people ever since Nazir and I came to the island. Everyone has been so kind, so welcoming.’
Ezra nodded. ‘Greensay’s a pretty special place.’
‘You have found that, too?’ Indira said, her large, dark eyes lighting up. ‘I am so pleased for you, Doctor. I hoped you might be happy here, and it is good to hear you are.’
Happy? How in the world could Indira Singh possibly think he was happy? he wondered, staring after her as she left the surgery. Good grief, every day had been a nightmare since he’d joined Jess’s practice. Facing conditions and ailments he hadn’t come across since his pre-registrar year, frantically trying to dredge his memory for the right treatments. And then, on top of that, to find himself in the middle of a full-blown TB scare…!
But you’re enjoying it, aren’t you? a voice in his mind whispered. In a peculiar, masochistic way, you’re actually enjoying it.
Yes, but enjoying a challenge wasn’t the same as being happy, he argued as the day sped by in a chaotic round of consultations, home visits and then yet another evening tuberculin testing clinic.
In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he found himself wondering if there’d ever been a time in his life when he’d been truly happy.
Not as a child. As a child, his life had been dominated by pain, and grief, and an unutterable loneliness. Medicine—surgery—had been his lifeline when he’d grown up but, looking back on his career, he could see that though it had given him immense satisfaction, it had never brought him happiness. And yet here, on this tiny island in the back of beyond, doing work he would have mocked a year ago…
Then why don’t you stay on here permanently—join Jess in the practice?
The thought popped into his head just as he completed his last tuberculin test, and he began to laugh inwardly at the absurdity of such an idea only to stop. Was it really such a crazy idea? It would be a new beginning, a way of starting over again. And if he stayed, he and Jess might marry…
Whoa, there, his brain protested. Marry? Right now, Jess doesn’t even like you. No, but if he stayed on here, maybe…maybe one day she might grow to love him as he loved her.
And he did love her, he suddenly realised. It wasn’t just lust he felt for her now. It was something richer, deeper. An overwhelming longing to be with her always, to take care of her, to grow old with her.
And you can come right down out of cloud-cuckoo-land now and face reality, Ezra, his mental voice jeered. Even if Jess were to fall in love with you, what are you going to live on in this brand new Eden? The only work available is a part-time post at the health centre, and that wouldn’t support you, far less a wife.
You could apply for the surgeon’s job at the Sinclair Memorial, his heart whispered. Work there part time and the rest of the time with Jess.
He glanced down at his hands, and swore under his breath. Just the thought of walking into an operating theatre again was enough to make them tremble. No, he couldn’t do that, and to live off Jess…No, he couldn’t do that either.
‘Gosh, do you realise it’s after nine o’clock already?’ Cath said as she joined him in his consulting room. ‘How many did you manage to get done tonight?’
‘Twenty-five.’
‘And I’ve done twenty-two so that makes…’ She wrinkled her nose in concentration. ‘Three hundred and fifty-two. We’ve done three hundred and fifty-two all together. Mind you, right now, it feels more like three thousand!’ She shook her head and chuckled, then glanced at him curiously. ‘Are you OK, Ezra?’
No, he wasn’t OK, but he could pretend it was. He’d got very good at pretending lately. Pretending he didn’t want to make love to Jess, pretending he didn’t feel anything when she smiled at him, when she was close to him.
Yes, he could go on pretending even though a part of him felt as though it were withering and dying, never to live again.
‘Is Jess ready to go?’ he asked abruptly.
‘Yes, I’m ready,’ she replied, appearing in his doorway, and as he strode past her the two women exchanged glances.
Both had been hoping he might be in a better frame of mind by the time he’d finished conducting the tuberculin tests, but he clearly wasn’t.
‘Want to come home to my house for dinner?’ Cath muttered.
Jess was sorely tempted, but she shook her head. Cath had enough on her plate without cooking for an unexpected guest.
Which didn’t mean she intended enduring Ezra’s foul mood all evening, she decided when he helped her into the car then drove silently away from the surgery.
‘Look, is it still the morals of my poor locum that’s bugging you?’ she demanded, ‘or are you still in a huff with me because of Amy?’
It was neither, but he had no intention of telling her what was really on his mind so he said the first thing that came into his head. ‘Do you really hate my beard?’
‘Do I what?’ she gasped, totally thrown.
‘My beard. I heard you talking to Cath this morning.’
‘I—No—of course I don’t,’ she floundered. ‘It’s just I’ve always had this theory…’ Oh, hell, but she’d suddenly remembered what her theory was. ‘Forget it. It’s stupid, ridiculous.’
‘What theory?’
He wouldn’t let it drop—she knew he wouldn’t—and she bit her lip. ‘I’ve…I’ve always thought that men with beards were either chinless wonders or had something to hide. Look, I told you it was stupid,’ she continued when he didn’t reply. ‘I said it was ridic—Why are we stopping?’
‘Nazir doesn’t close until half past nine on a Tuesday night and I want to buy a razor and some shaving cream.’
‘But—’
‘Jess, I grew this beard because I couldn’t be bothered to shave after I left the Royal,’ he continued as she stared at him, open-mouthed, ‘and I’m damned if I’m going to let you think I’m either hiding from my past or have a weak chin.’
‘But—’ He was gone before she could protest, and back again within minutes. ‘Ezra, you don’t have to do this—least of all to prove anything to me.’
‘Oh, but I do. As soon as we get home, this…’ he ran his fingers over his beard ‘…is going to come off, and then we’ll see who has to eat her words!’
He’s gone nuts, she thought as he drove her home then disappeared into the bathroom as soon as he’d put their dinner into the microwave. What difference did it make whether he had a beard or not? OK, so she didn’t particularly like it, but to shave it off now?
Nuts. Living on Greensay had driven him nuts, and living with her had pushed him over the edge.
A bubble of laughter sprang to her lips. Maybe she should warn the new locum. Maybe she should ring him up—
‘OK, what do you think?’
Jess turned, laughter still welling in her throat, and her jaw dropped.
‘Hey, I don’t look that bad without the beard, do I?’ he said uncertainly, a dull flush of colour creeping across his freshly shaven cheeks as she continued to stare at him, stunned.
‘No—no, of course you don’t. It’s just—’
‘Look, I can always grow it back—’
‘Oh, don’t do that,’ she said quickly. ‘It’s just…You…you’ve got a cleft chin.’
‘So?’ Ezra was clearly puzzled, and she felt herself blushing.
‘It’s…nice.’
‘Nice?’
She nodded. ‘When I was younger, I used to think—I mean, I’ve always liked…’ Lord, she wasn’t making any sense. ‘It’s…nice.’
A smile curved his lips. ‘I didn’t realise Greensay’s doctor had a thing about cleft chins.’
She managed a wobbly chuckle. ‘There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.’
‘So it seems.’
His voice was deep, husky, and her eyes flew up to his. All amusement had gone from his face. Instead, there was something else there. Something which caused her breath to lodge tight in her t
hroat and her heart begin to race very fast.
She swallowed, and saw his eyes widen and darken, then slowly, as though in a dream, his hands came up to cup her face. She didn’t move—scarcely dared breathe. All she was aware of was the insistent hammering of her heart against her ribcage, the feeling that time itself was holding its breath and the insistent little voice in her head that was pleading, Kiss me. Please, please, kiss me.
And as though he heard that little voice, his lips were suddenly on hers, demanding, entreating, and she was kissing him back with equal desperation, wrapping her arms around him to bring him closer, closer.
‘Jess…Oh, God, Jess!’ he gasped, his voice choked, ragged as he showered her face with kisses.
His lips found hers again, and she moaned and arched against him, scarcely noticing when her blouse disappeared, then the fine wisp of her bra. But when his lips left hers and travelled down to her breasts, teasing them, tasting them, drawing each nipple into his mouth with an aching slowness, she cried out in ecstasy.
‘Yes…Oh, yes!’
He kissed her again, drawing her close to him so she could feel the patent evidence of his hard arousal. ‘I want…. Oh, Jess, you must know what I want, but—’
‘Don’t stop,’ she begged, capturing his mouth with her own. ‘Don’t…Oh, please…don’t stop!’ His tongue delved deep, sending waves of pulsing sensation coursing through her, and she strained against him, knowing she wanted more, much more, only to groan with frustration when she heard her telephone begin to ring. ‘Leave it—don’t answer it!’
‘I have to—you know I do,’ he replied, his voice hoarse, his breathing rapid.
And he did, but as soon as Jess heard it was Fred Graham, her heart sank. His catheter had come loose again—it was always coming loose—and Fred panicked if he got so much as a splinter in his finger so it was going to be a long night.
‘Don’t wait up for me,’ Ezra said, clearly reading her mind as he reached for his bag.
‘Of course I will.’
‘No, don’t.’
‘But—’
‘Jess…’ She looked confused, and he couldn’t blame her. ‘Jess, that phone call—stopping us. Perhaps it was for the best.’
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