by Lynda Aicher
How far could he push? What would Tanner give him? Power and lust rushed in to entice him further. It overrode his common sense and shoved him forward when he should retreat.
He raised his gaze in a slow scan over Tanner’s narrow hips and the tight running top that showed every dip and swell of muscle. Hard abs, broad shoulders, solid biceps—all man and so damn gorgeous.
“So take care of it,” he said, voice low and steely to hide the longing racking his chest. His own dick had responded the second Tanner had appeared, and since there was no way to hide his reaction, he didn’t try.
“Take care of it? Really? How fucking brilliant of you.” Tanner turned, winced as he dipped, cupping his dick. A soft moan tumbled out and he scrambled to catch hold of the stair rail.
“Here.”
Tanner snapped his head up, the single word hanging between them. A taunt and an order.
Finn wet his lips, gaze never wavering. “Do it. Here.”
“What?” Hesitation bled into desire that flashed hot and needy to lick out at Finn.
“Get off.”
Time slid by on Tanner’s drawn inhalations, which hissed through the room. He straightened, eyes narrowed, lips pursing and flattening as his jaw worked. His nostrils flared with each breath, his distinct features full of frustrated passion. And there—longing.
Finn clenched his hands to keep from reaching out to help. To yank Tanner’s clothes down and grip that hard cock himself. To urge every last drop of come from him and watch his expression as he let go.
Tanner closed his eyes, twisted his head away. “Don’t fuck with me, Finn.”
The pleading note in his voice stroked Finn’s dominant core. He wanted this so damn much. Wanted Tanner more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life.
“I’m not.”
Tanner sniffed, raised his chin, and slowly opened his eyes. Need, want, desire, lust were all exposed, flashing hot and raw. His gaze pierced Finn, never wavering as he shoved his compression tights down. He groaned, a deep rumble that rolled through the tension to caress Finn.
He bit his tongue to hold in his echoing moan. Holy…fuck. Tanner stood before him, tall, proud, defiant. His erection sprang hard and thick from a nest of dark, trimmed curls, its deep red state highlighting the prominent veins sculpted down its length. He couldn’t tear his eyes away, couldn’t speak or catch his breath. This was really happening.
Tanner fisted his dick, a raspy grunt shooting out as his head fell back. “Fuck. That’s…” He slid his hand over the crown, a relieved sigh signaling his pleasure.
This is fucking insane.
Finn sucked in air, heart thundering in his ears, want raging with every stroke of Tanner’s hand. Looking away was physically impossible. Tanner’s shirt hugged his midriff, a series of dark tattoos lining one thigh and disappearing beneath the material. The top of the harness was hidden by his shirt, but the dark strap that bisected his groin and the silver ring circling the base of his cock and balls were so damn hot. The ring forced his sack up and forward, the orbs full, their deep red shade matching his straining dick’s.
“I want—” Tanner thrust his hips forward, clenched teeth displayed with his wince. He was lost in his desire—or pain. Hand pumping hard, sure strokes that slowed over the sensitive crown. He clenched his nuts with his other hand. “Fuck.”
His eyes flew open to nail Finn with fiery heat. Passion blazed between them to inflame Finn with a longing so strong he couldn’t deny it. His own erection was smashed to his abdomen, his leggings enclosing his heavy balls in a snug hold that teased and was nowhere close to what he needed.
“What do you want?” The rough edge of Finn’s words belied his false sense of control. He lowered his hands to his sides. Took a step forward.
Tanner dipped his head, glazed eyes searching him through heavy lids. Gone was the defiance, replaced by searing lust and unhindered need. “To come.” He swallowed, hand slowing until he stopped stroking himself. “I fucking need to come.”
“I know.” He took another step, drawn closer to the torment and hunger. No, he was fucking entranced by the brother he couldn’t stop dreaming about. Thinking about. Wanting.
Another step.
Tanner’s breaths rolled from between parted lips, his chest lifting and dipping in a quick rhythm. Anticipation prickled over Finn’s skin, the energy crackling with expectancy as he took one last step. A foot away from Tanner, eye to eye, questions flying to the heavy thud of his pulse.
I want this. I need this. Should we? Can we not? What if…
He tried to swallow and found nothing but dryness. There was no going back if they crossed this bridge. Yet they’d already blown it up. Turning back now would leave more questions and doubts than he could handle.
Tanner moved so quickly, he barely registered Tanner’s arm raising to grip his nape and haul him forward that last step. Finn’s reflexes might have been delayed, but his instincts were still intact. He reached back to grip Tanner’s wrist, his other hand bracing on Tanner’s shoulder.
Their breaths collided in hard gusts, eyes clashing in the inches separating them. Every one of Finn’s muscles was clenched in preparation for whatever came next. A fist to his gut. A hard shove and punch to his jaw. He’d deserve it. This was crazy and all his fault.
If he lost Tanner over this stunt, he’d never forgive himself.
Yet he logged every forbidden moment. Each indent of Tanner’s fingers down the back of his neck. The hard grip just over his hip bone. Tanner’s erection grazing his own hard dick in a soft tease. The intensity that shone from Tanner’s now mostly black eyes. How close his lips were, parted and so damn tempting.
He found no anger. No disgust or rebuke that would’ve shut this insanity down and killed whatever this was right here. Nothing but need and yearning that tangled with his own.
He loosened his hold on Tanner’s wrist, fingers grazing down his forearm as he leaned in when everything screamed to turn away. He couldn’t, though. Not when he was this close to having what he’d thought he’d never have—what had always been forbidden.
He shifted at the last second, grazed his cheek over Tanner’s, stubble rasping as it caught on Tanner’s. His eyelids fell closed, warmth spreading from his chest to flood his limbs. He lowered his hand in a slow glide down Tanner’s chest, over his ribs until the slick texture of his shirt gave way to the hot smoothness of skin. He gasped, hand stalling at Tanner’s hip.
His heart contracted, want raging so powerfully it almost brought him to his knees. His sexual desire had been basically dead for nine long months. And now, with Tanner, he couldn’t think of anything but watching him come. Feeling his dick beneath his palm. Giving him the release he pleaded for.
“Tell me no,” he whispered, lust clouding his thoughts and dampening every reason why this was bad.
“I can’t.”
Those two words, mumbled near his ear, sent a flash flood of aching hunger past his last meager wall of resistance. Gone were his self-doubts and recriminations. His hesitation and worries.
This was Tanner. His best friend. The man he trusted more than anyone else. The man he’d loved for so damn long.
He dove in, clasped the hard length of Tanner’s dick, grazed a line up Tanner’s neck with his teeth. Heat seared his palm, salt danced on his tongue. Their mutual groans obliterated the silence that’d encircled them moments ago.
Tanner clutched him closer, grip tight on his nape and back. Finn gasped for air, working long, hard strokes over Tanner’s thick dick. His knuckles skidded over the soft width of the harness strap, coarse hairs tickling his pinky before it hit the cock ring on every downward plunge.
He nipped at Tanner’s jaw, crazed with the need to get closer. To get lost in him.
“God. Fuck.” Tanner bit his earlobe, the sharp pain racing to pique his nipples.
“I know,” he panted. Fuck did he know.
He jerked his hips forward, his dick crashing into Tanner’s
. His thin running tights provided little barrier, but they kept him from tumbling headlong into his own desire.
“I’ve got you,” Finn promised. He did. In every way possible.
Tanner grunted a low response he didn’t catch, his mind clouded with the lust blanking everything but Tanner’s touch. This connection that bled into every cell and threatened to flatten him.
He increased the pace of his strokes, pre-come easing every slide. Tanner dug his hand beneath Finn’s waistband, palm gripping his ass cheek and urging him closer. He mouthed Finn’s neck, sloppy and desperate and so fucking perfect.
His orgasm built fast and wild after months of abstinence. After years of wanting exactly this. It burned through his groin, clenched heavy in his balls.
He blinked and tried to focus on Tanner. On giving him the release that’d been tormenting him for how long now? He dug deep, found the Dom who had always been in control before. The control he required in order to be safe.
“Close,” Tanner said on a breathy exhale. “So fucking close.”
Finn slid his free hand around to work the plug still lodged in Tanner. The harness held it firmly in place, but he pressed on the base, nudged it in deeper, and then circled it within the tight limitations of Tanner’s hole.
“Shit. Fuck,” Tanner grunted, his grip clamping down where he held Finn. His dick pulsed, breath ceasing for two long beats.
“Come on.” Finn ground the words out between a stiff jaw and his own barely contained release. “Give it to me.”
Tanner roared into Finn’s neck, the vibration and force branding him with its power. He squeezed Finn’s ass, come shooting from his dick in a hot wash that covered Finn’s fist and splattered on their shirts.
Oh fucking God.
Mesmerized by Tanner’s strength and high on the power that flowed between them, Finn trembled as his orgasm rushed forward to claim the last of his control. He sunk his teeth into Tanner’s shoulder, his cry muffled, his world blacking out beneath the force of his release.
It’d been so damn long he’d wondered if that part of him still worked. But fuck did it work.
He clutched Tanner and pushed reality out for another moment, knowing it’d crash back in all too soon.
And then what?
Where in the hell did they go from here?
Chapter 11
Awareness came back in bits and pieces of disjointed details and thoughts. Hot breaths on his neck, a soapy sweat scent mixed with the pungent stench of come. Finn holding him tight, his dick still gripped in Finn’s hand. His own hand clenched around Finn’s ass cheek.
They were on their knees. How they got there—or when—he had no clue. Finn was basically straddling him, Tanner’s running tights trapping his legs where they stretched over his thighs. His hole ached like a motherfucker. Tender as hell and so damn ready to get that big-ass thing out of it. He would’ve sworn the plug was a fucking rocket now, having grown since he’d first put it in.
His pulse was slowly decreasing to a somewhat normal rate, the beat pounding in his skull. Eyes still closed, face hidden in Finn’s shoulder, he tried to focus. Tried to assemble the facts into something that made sense. It didn’t work.
Finn had jacked him off.
They’d both come. Helped each other come.
They’d crossed a line they’d sworn to uphold without ever talking about it.
“What’d we just do?” he mumbled, half to himself, half to Finn. Unsure if he wanted an answer.
“I—fuck.” Finn cleared the rasp from his voice. “I…”
Nothing more came forth and Tanner didn’t have the energy—or will—to push him. There was no defining what they’d done without risking the many other things he counted on.
The harness dug into his stomach, the understrap pressing the sensitive skin that’d been chafed raw during his run.
He should move. Shift. Separate from the place he’d longed to be and now didn’t know if he could stay in. He didn’t, though. Didn’t break the haze that allowed him to linger in the belief that this could be real.
The miles after Finn had turned back had been some of the most agonizing of his life. He’d never been so worked up. He’d been so flooded with lust and endorphins he couldn’t think of anything but his dick and ass. Of relieving the pressure that’d built to exploding before he’d reached the halfway point.
Of Finn. He’d thought of Finn with every step he’d taken. Of doing this for him. Of how Finn had met his challenge and ran farther that day.
He’d do it again, too—if it’d get him this. Finn holding him. Giving him what he’d needed. In control and so damn strong where it counted the most.
He’d trusted Finn with everything, more than he ever had before, and Finn had come through—so far.
He lost track of how long they sat there. Eventually his heart rate slowed. Finn released his hold on Tanner’s still-semihard dick, the cock ring doing its job when he was wiped out, both mentally and physically. He slid his hand out of Finn’s pants, stroked his palm over Finn’s lower back. Too intimate? Unwanted?
He’d passed caring eight miles back—only it was slowly returning as reality snuck in.
Finn fumbled with the buckle on the back of the harness. The understrap released and the force on the plug eased. His groan fell out on a long wave of relief, quickly followed by pain. The plug pushed on his beyond-sensitized rim, his body forcing the foreign object out.
He clenched, tried to squeeze it back in as his embarrassment grew. How would Finn see him now? He tried to shove away, but Finn tightened his hold, trapping him in an embrace that was suddenly claustrophobic.
A touch, a soothing rub on his back, and he stilled, breath hitching. Finn eased the plug out on a gentle tug that still burned like a bitch as the wide flare breached his hole. He fisted Finn’s shirt, tensing when he should have relaxed. Then it was out, the pain diminishing to a burning sting.
The plug hit the floor with a loud clunk, and mortification rushed in. His stomach twisted, rational thoughts failing under the conflicting rush of shame and contentment.
A shudder raked him, his entire body trembling beneath its power. Cold seeped into his bones, the layers of sweat drying to leave him trembling. Or maybe it was the adrenaline crash. He’d experienced that before. After an intense battle. When he’d honestly feared he would die. The reaction was understandable under those circumstances. He’d always laughed it off, then found a quiet place to recover.
But here, it only added another layer to his growing distress.
“Can you stand?” Finn’s voice was gentle, his hold loosening.
Fuck yes, he could stand. Even if he had to claw his way up, he’d make it to his feet. He bit his tongue on his flash of anger, though. Acting out wouldn’t help.
And what would? Nothing but a big fucking hole opening up so he could hide in it. And that wasn’t going to happen.
Finn let him go, easing back, hands sliding around his sides before they fell away. Tanner ducked his head, unable to meet his eyes. The simplicity of the moment was quickly fleeing to the awkwardness of after.
His throat clamped down on the humiliation threatening to burst forth in a wash of tears he had no understanding of. Where’d they come from? Why? This wasn’t breakdown-worthy.
Yet he was so close to cracking he could barely breathe.
“Hey.” Finn touched his arm, concern heavy. “Tanner.”
He squeezed his eyes closed, refusing to acknowledge him. Unable to, really. It was all too much. Chris. The fucking war that was publicly over but still raging. His family who didn’t really know him. Now this.
Would Finn ever look at him the same again?
He shoved away, scrambled back and up despite the awkward state of his clothes. He lurched toward the stairs, grabbed the rail to stay upright when his legs started to shake. The room spun, tilted. He clenched the rail tighter, blanked out the fact that he was still half-naked. The harness strap dangled freely between his
legs, the cock ring seeming to constrict around his dick and nuts. And worst of all, his asshole felt like it was gaping wide open, proudly proclaiming how…What?
How far he’d fallen? How weak he was? How much he’d given?
It wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t crave more. If this little experiment hadn’t opened up the well of fantasies he’d blocked since they’d first bloomed upon seeing Finn dominate another man.
He sensed Finn standing, the silence echoing the distance growing between them. He was making more out of this than it deserved. It was a bet gone bad. One they’d both blow off and pretend to forget.
“Will you talk to me?”
A sarcastic laugh burst free on a harsh bark. Fuck. He sniffed, willed the tears stinging his eyes to retreat.
Finn was beside him before he realized it, slipping an arm around his waist, tucking Tanner’s arm over his shoulders.
He flinched, tensing when every muscle ached to both get closer and run away.
“Come on.”
He stiffened, ready to bolt.
“Shower.” Finn took a step, forcing Tanner with him.
Shower. Simple. Needed. Practical. “Okay.”
His limbs still shook, every step tugging at his sore hole. He clenched his teeth and held in each bite of pain and fear. He tried to pull away, but Finn tightened his hold. They made it the short distance to the bathroom, Tanner leaning on him more than he wanted to. He was supposed to be the strong one now. The one helping Finn.
And look at him.
Finn let him go to start the shower and Tanner fumbled at the two front buckles on the harness, eventually getting one free. He carefully slid the cock ring off, a sigh escaping as the tension finally left his dick and balls. He dropped the fucking harness to the floor, the soft thud ridiculously gentle given the torture it’d wielded.
He leaned on the counter, breaths ragged. The mirror was in front of him, but he refused to lift his head. Steam slowly filled the small room, the heat sinking in to loosen his tense muscles and chase away some of the chill that’d settled in.