by Lynda Aicher
Resolve settled in, urging him to go get what he’d refused to go after before. To have it all, even though he could just as easily lose it all too. He set a challenge to his tone and spoke words he hoped he wouldn’t regret. “Trust me to know what I want.”
Chapter 17
Finn stared down at the man he’d loved forever and was falling in love with more each fucking day. He tried to latch on to the things he hadn’t known. To figure out how he’d missed so much about Tanner when he’d been at his side for years.
Had he not been looking close enough? Chosen not to see what was laid out before him now? Or had Tanner really been that good at hiding the hunger that was now so clearly exposed?
Trust me to know what I want.
There was no one left in this world he trusted more.
His heart attempted to beat its way out of his chest, his muscles strung tight down the length of his back in want and indecision. Yet there was only one way to go. One path he longed to take.
His instincts kicked in, the stirring of power and control he hadn’t felt for so damn long roaring back with a vengeance. It propelled him forward and shoved his insecurities aside.
Size didn’t define dominance. Strength didn’t determine power.
He sat up, eyes never leaving Tanner’s. His Dom burst forth, the intensity almost shocking after being doubted for so damn long. It infused him with the authority he’d taken into battle, each adventure trip he’d led, and every scene he’d planned and fulfilled with countless submissives.
None of those things had ever been as important as what he was about to undertake. Execution was critical. Communication mandatory.
His mind shuffled through the checklists he was supposed to complete. The endless back-and-forth he should negotiate. So much to worry about when his arm was starting to shake and his thoughts were fragmenting.
Tanner slowly sat up, the sheets rustling in the quiet. Ice pelts peppered the side of the cottage, nature locking them in the shelter they’d already secured. His dark eyes were basically black now, the irises almost blending with his large pupils to entrance Finn. There was nothing hiding in them. No secrets or veiled truths.
Lust blazed. Want called. Desire begged.
And Finn responded. His dominant side breaking free to take everything Tanner was offering.
He lunged, crashed his mouth to Tanner’s and spun over him at the same time. His sudden dexterity unquestioned when he didn’t think about it. Tanner moaned, and Finn hauled him by his nape to the edge of the bed, shoved him to his knees on the floor, between Finn’s spread legs. Their mouths were locked tightly together through the flip and drop, tongues greedily seeking and plundering the heat.
He didn’t give himself time to doubt what he—they—were doing. The fire blazing through his veins demanded he focus only on this. On Tanner. On his knees at Finn’s feet. Giving freely while holding his own.
This delicate balance was so hard to achieve, and Finn savored Tanner’s internal strength all the more.
He ripped his mouth free, each panting breath sharp and cutting. His erection jutted hard and ready. Passion laced the air with the weathered scent of stale come and fresh want. And there. He nuzzled his nose into Tanner’s neck, inhaled deeply. There was the diffused hint of vanilla that could drive him crazy and bring him home.
He nipped at his skin, growled when Tanner tipped his head to give him better access. His breathy “Yes” floated out like an offering.
Control. He was supposed to be in control, yet he felt anything but that now. Wild. Crazed with want and lust.
He left a trail of bite marks up the side of Tanner’s neck, the salty flavor covering his lips. A part of his brain was still working despite the frenzied rush blinding him to everything but Tanner. He tugged the threads together, found the ends that tied his needs to Tanner’s, and wound them together.
He traced the shell of Tanner’s ear with his tongue, circled his fingers around Tanner’s nipple. They were both still naked from last night, the chilled air stroking over his skin to ground him a bit.
“Pain?” he asked. He bit down on Tanner’s earlobe and twisted his nipple before Tanner could answer. He tensed, groaned out a shocked response, but didn’t pull away. Not even out of reflex.
Teeth marks rippled under his tongue when Finn licked at the spot he’d bitten. A tight whimper eased out of Tanner’s throat on a broken hitch. He released the tortured nipple and quickly gave the other one the same treatment. Tanner arched forward, his chest lifting into Finn’s touch. So damn good.
Finn sat up, taking in every stunning clench of pain and panted want. He let go and gently rubbed both nipples in teasing circles that would torment and entice the sensitized buds.
Tanner opened his eyes, lust shooting out on a dazed demand that asked for more. He wet his lips, chin lowering. “Yes,” he answered.
God, to tease and play with him. To tie him up, flog and spank him until his skin turned red and his cries died into moans. That. That would be…
He blew out a breath and chased those thoughts away. That wasn’t here or now, and he couldn’t think about things that might not happen. That never would, if he couldn’t pull this off.
Finn took one more kiss, claimed Tanner’s mouth as he marveled at how all-consuming something so simple could be. His brain shorted out, senses overrun with softness, heat, demand, give. Silky skin, gusting breaths, rough groans.
And the lack of Tanner’s touch.
He yanked back, frown drawn tight, and realized Tanner’s hands were clasped behind his back. He hadn’t demanded that, yet Tanner had given him that control anyway. Offered it willingly.
The rush of awe and power slammed into his chest. It tumbled around in there for a heartbeat, then raced to his groin with a sharp kick to his nuts.
That quickly, he tugged Tanner down, his hips jerking up as he slid to the edge of the mattress. Tanner glanced up at him through his eyelashes, a blissful look overtaking his expression as he opened his mouth. And waited.
Hands clasped tightly at his back, muscles relaxed. He ran his tongue over his ruby lips in what Finn took as a slow tease. “Please.”
That one word, said as a slight command filled with want and longing, scorched through Finn’s heart and tangled with his Dom in pure joy. He grabbed Tanner’s nape and fed him his aching erection in one quick shove that didn’t give either of them time to hesitate.
He thrust, held Tanner still, and lost his breath when he bottomed out, Tanner gagging and choking around his length. He counted to two and let him up but not fully off. Tanner sucked in deep breaths, nostrils flaring, eyes watering.
His glare cut through Finn’s, not in anger or annoyance, but in challenge. Yeah, that had been a dare. A test really, to see how Tanner would respond. To discover if this was an act to please him or what Tanner really craved. Lips still stretched beautifully around Finn’s cock, brows lowered over blazing eyes, his question screamed at Finn in no uncertain terms. Did I pass?
His chuckle tumbled out on a breath of disbelief. “Yeah. You did.” Tanner’s shoulders dropped, a hummed sigh vibrating down Finn’s shaft to snag in his balls. “Fuck. That’s good.” Tanner repeated the sound, his tongue flicking at the underside of Finn’s crown. Perfect.
He couldn’t take his eyes off the sight, Tanner dipping and taking him in, lips stretched, eyes closed, sucking and bobbing as he hunted out what Finn liked. His breath caught when Tanner needled his slit. He held Tanner in place as he rubbed that sensitive spot on the underside of his crown with quick flicks of his tongue.
His mind was lost to everything but Tanner. Of having him like this. Of the bond that was weaving tighter and growing stronger. Changing for the better—or so he fucking hoped.
Desire burned in his groin, flooded his chest. Love more powerful than any he’d ever dared to hope for reached deep into his heart and wove a patch over all the holes he’d learned to live with long ago. Then it started to fill the newest one,
the one left by the loss they were both still feeling.
But this wasn’t about Chris.
It was completely about them.
About what they wanted. Needed. Could have.
He placed a palm on Tanner’s cheek, intent burning from him as he slowly stood. Power so heady he almost toppled back down blazed through him to form a solid core of certainty he’d feared he’d lost forever.
“I’m going to fuck your mouth.”
Tanner peered up at him, fierceness and giving wrapped up in a gorgeous package of strength.
His jaw relaxed, head tilting back slightly. He stared at Finn for a long moment, communicating so much without a sound. Yes. Please. Do it.
Fuck. Finn was so gone. Lost in everything he’d just been given, and all the things he could have.
—
Yes. Please. Do it. Tanner begged and demanded at once. He caught the acceptance, the fire that flashed in Finn’s eyes. His intensity swarmed over Tanner, bit at his flesh and drove him higher, nostrils flaring with fierceness.
So fucking gorgeous. There was the guy Tanner loved. The man who didn’t need bulk to demand respect. Or muscle to master submission.
Tanner gave his power freely to Finn because there was no one he trusted more.
He let his eyes fall closed, thoughts diminishing to the cock stretching his lips and the hands holding his head still. Big, firm hands at the back of his neck and cupping his cheek.
The salty bitter slick of pre-come coated his throat and mixed with the drool he couldn’t stop. It slid down his chin when Finn thrust in long and slow to trigger his gag reflex. His throat contracted, a garbled noise choking out. Yet he didn’t protest or jerk away when instinct said he should.
He wanted this. It didn’t matter how he looked or how unsuccessful he was at deep throating. Finn would take care of him. Love him even if he failed. Lead him through this when he had no plan or escape route.
Trust flowed through him on a mellow note of acceptance. He ceded the last of his control to Finn and gave himself over fully to simply being. His muscles turned to jelly, the bold thrust and retreat of Finn’s cock his only thought. He lost himself to the heaviness on his tongue, the ache in his jaw, the potent scent of sex and Finn.
In and out. Pause. Little dips followed by a deep plunge.
Groin hair tickled his lips, his breath disappearing with Finn’s cock lodged in his throat. He acknowledged this in some part of his brain, his throat automatically working as he tried to swallow. Finn’s dick slipped deeper, his nose getting buried in the tight coils of hair.
“So good, babe.”
The praise rolled down his spine and through his chest, then he was being pulled up, air rushing in through his nose on a reflexive inhale. He tried to smile around Finn’s dick, reflecting on how much longer he could’ve held that position. His underwater training had expanded his lung capacity to hold his breath for far longer.
But it was Finn’s choice. His decision on how to use Tanner’s mouth—him.
The knowledge of how this was helping Finn floated Tanner higher. Finn’s need for control was structured into every part of his life—including sex. Giving that back to him was just one more component that made this everything Tanner had dreamed of.
More pre-come, harder jerks that drove into his mouth and hit the back of his throat. So damn good. Ecstasy swirled and ignited the longing burning in his groin. His dick was as hard as Finn’s and ached to be touched. His balls were heavy and full despite the complete denial of his own physical needs.
Finn grunted, his hold tightening on his head, his jabs accelerating into a series of rapid jerks. His dick filled Tanner’s mouth, the veins running thick and prominent over his tongue.
“Fuck.”
The roared curse was followed by a hard yank and shove that lodged Finn’s dick in his throat. He took it all, jaw protesting, mind reveling.
This. This. This.
He was jerked back up, come filling his mouth, hot and salty and all Finn’s. He tried to swallow it, gobble every drop greedily, but he couldn’t keep up. It dribbled down his chin, dripped onto his lap.
Blood rushed through his ears, a white noise that blended with the haze, preventing his worries from becoming thoughts. Sweet, beautiful bliss that didn’t fade with an orgasm. This time he didn’t fight it or panic. There was no need.
He sat like that, Finn’s dick softening in his mouth, the world floating by to the beat of his heart, the slow caress of Finn’s thumb on his cheek.
A moan slipped out when Finn pulled his dick from Tanner’s mouth. It should’ve been pure relief, but the loss was almost profound.
“You are…” Finn cleared his throat and Tanner pushed into his touch, that soft stroke his contact point. “Stunning.” He rubbed the back of Tanner’s head, his short hairs bristling and tingling over his scalp to yank a contented sigh from him.
Finn used the edge of the sheet to wipe at the wetness on Tanner’s face, gone unnoticed until now. The tears that’d rolled down his cheeks, and the slobber that framed his mouth and covered his chin. Embarrassment should’ve rushed in when he realized what Finn was doing, but it wasn’t there.
“Look at me.”
Tanner forced his eyes open, because that was what Finn wanted. Finn was sitting now. When had that happened? Tanner had barely latched on to that question before Finn was lifting him up and shoving him onto his back across the mattress. He arched away from the sting that speared his back, blazing like a sunburn over the fresh tattoo. Then there was nothing but hot wetness on his dick, strong sucks, and demanding flicks of a tongue.
He curled up, hands digging into Finn’s shoulders to hold him closer. To simply feel his strength as he mastered Tanner’s desire with ease. A tug on his balls, a roll and pinch that shot pain into his gut and dragged fire through his groin. A tight grip on his dick, strong, sure strokes.
Tanner groaned, hips bucking forward. Urgency flashed hot and quick in a searing rush of need. A groan burst out, a raw raspy sound that dug over his throat in a delicious reminder of Finn’s dick being firmly lodged in it.
He flopped back, a writhing mass of sensation. A demanding hum vibrated deep, sent him spiraling, his orgasm expanding to knot and coil until he was begging to let it go.
“Please. Fuck. God. Please.” He propped his feet on the edge of the mattress, pelvis raising to get closer. For that last touch, suck, lick that’d send him over. “Please. Finn.”
A finger at his entrance, slickness coating, rubbing, teasing the sensitive muscle.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Sparks flashed behind his eyelids, tension spinning through every muscle.
Finn popped off his dick, the wet slurp blasting through the room. Tanner peeled his eyes open, breaths quick and barely filling his lungs. Finn was debauched mastery staring down at him. Lips wet and puffy, ruby red next to the darker hint of scruff surrounding his mouth. And his eyes…He’d never seen them so blue, want and desire spilling with the love to nail Tanner in the heart.
“Give it to me,” Finn demanded. Then he was sucking hard, fingers filling Tanner on a thrust that was pain and bliss combined. Another deep plunge and retreat, a graze over that spot hidden so magically within him, and Tanner was gone.
“Yes!”
He strained with his release, fire overtaking everything, exchanging air for joy, need for freedom. He jerked, muscles contracting, relaxing, bursting into nothingness and everything.
His fingers tingled, his legs were numb, his heart was beating too fast to count. He sagged into the mattress, completely boneless. Thoughts gone. Movement impossible.
He vaguely registered being shoved and prodded until he was on his side, a pillow under his head, Finn wrapped around him. Strong arms, comfort given. Soft strokes on his lower back, easy rubs over his scalp.
Then he was being kissed, long slow swipes of tongue and sweet touches of lips. He fell into that tenderness and tightened an arm around Finn. He had to touch him now.
Draw him closer. Lose himself in what he could finally, finally have.
In the love flowing between them and the bond that promised to keep them strong and this—whatever this was—safe.
Chapter 18
Tanner woke for the second time that day to the same gray light, the gusting wind—and an empty bed. He snaked his hand out, searching for heat and finding none. Finn had been gone for a while.
He rubbed his eyes, stretched, joints snapping. A slow maneuvering of his jaw confirmed the ache he’d expected.
Yeah. This morning had been damn amazing.
Nerves did their best to work their way into his languid contentment, climbing up his back and digging into his doubts. A hard shake of his head knocked them down before they had a chance to attach. They were reactionary, based on insecurity and a lack of trust with his partner—and not justified. Not here.
Not with Finn.
He hunted deeper and came back with peace and a quiet he couldn’t remember ever before feeling. He’d gone after what he’d wanted, charged through his fears, and the risk had paid off.
The weather was still playing into his plans of hibernating the day away. Cabin fever should’ve set in by now, but he had no desire to leave. It’d always been like that. This place was an escape and its own little isolation chamber that all three of them had used to heal and center themselves.
He kept the tranquillity close as he slipped on a pair of boxer briefs and grabbed some clothes. The stairs creaked on the third step down, his smile growing as it announced his entrance. Finn had cranked the heat up to keep the cabin warm while their tattoos healed, and a fire was blazing in the fireplace, adding its own heat to the cozy space.
Finn was sitting at a desk set below a window along the far wall, working on his computer. His back was to Tanner, headphones clamped over his ears. He was shirtless, his tat on display from the backless stool he’d switched out for the usual desk chair. It was a vulnerable position, his back to the room, hearing cut off. One Finn wouldn’t have placed himself in if he didn’t trust his surroundings—or who he was with.