by Lynda Aicher
Not ever again.
Tanner was doing pull-ups when he caught up to him at the six-mile marker. Finn didn’t pause as he grabbed the bar and started his own reps. He was riding the high and ripping every last drop out of it.
Tanner was grinning at him when he dropped to the ground and shook his arms out. “Nice.”
The short compliment went miles further than any drawn-out statement could have. Especially from his brother. They’d never blown smoke up each other’s ass. If anything, they were harder on each other, knowing that the stronger they each were, the better their chances were of surviving.
Finn sucked in air, his euphoric glow holding. “I won.” He flicked his chin at Tanner. “Time to pony up.” He held out his hand for the cock ring. He was going to enjoy every damn second of putting it on Tanner—and drag it out for as long as he possibly could.
Chapter 23
Tanner breathed through each step, each tug and bounce that jarred through his groin and yanked at his nipples. Overall, it didn’t compare with the torture of the plug. This was a completely different type of agony. A sweet tease, almost—that’d gone on too long.
The ache in his clamped nipples had swarmed over his chest and sunk to his balls miles ago. And then Finn had teased him more when he’d attached the cock ring and strung it up to the nipple chain. The few hard strokes and sucks on the head of his dick had yanked his orgasm to the edge and left it there. Two miles later he could think of nothing but coming.
Of giving himself over to Finn and letting him take care of everything. Of losing himself in the mindless security of Finn’s control.
The nightmares were intensifying, his past dancing too close to the present. He’d gone through them before. Hell, he’d been living with them for fucking years. But they seemed worse now, more intense, and all focused on Finn’s dying and Tanner’s inability to save him.
He stumbled, toe digging into an unseen lump in the trail. Fuck. He caught himself, regained his footing to the sharp tug and pinch on his nuts and nipples.
“Toe Pick.”
The taunt wafted up from behind him, amusement dancing in the notes. He tried not to smile and lost the battle. The change in Finn was too good to be mad about anything. Everything was worth it, even his mild humiliation, if it helped Finn.
His nuts were full, his erection aching over the tight hold of the ring, when he left the woods and jogged into the clearing surrounding Finn’s cabin. He slowed his pace to an easy stroll before walking the last bit to the front porch.
He shook out his arms and went through some stretches as Finn exited the woods at a slow jog. Tanner’s pride bloomed hot and hard at the sight. Finn had made the full loop. His pace had been slower the last two miles, but he’d run the whole damn thing.
His success blazed on his face, his expression tired but fierce.
Tanner held out his hand, and Finn clasped it for a bro-shake. “Nice work,” Tanner said, his sincerity shoved into each word. He tossed a water bottle at him without thinking, heart catching the second he realized what he’d done.
But Finn caught it with ease, something he hadn’t been able to do when they’d first arrived here. He nodded, smiling. Sweat dampened his hair and ran down the sides of his face to track through his beard stubble. Tanner couldn’t pull his gaze from the bob of his Adam’s apple as he chugged long gulps from the bottle.
His need bloomed into full-on want. He had to have more. Of Finn. Of his strength and power. Tanner’s nerves were strung tight around the worries that were hounding him more and more the closer he came to leaving.
How could he leave this—him? Yet how could he leave everything he’d worked so hard to be in the Marines? And his family—the Admiral. What about them? What would they think about his choices? Why did it matter?
He ripped his shirt over his head, heedless of the cool air. His breath worked in and out of his lungs in deep heaves he couldn’t control. His nipples tried to contract from the brisk hit, but the clamps held them still. The sensation scurried over his chest in a wave of prickling awareness that ripped a frustrated grunt from his throat.
Finn lowered the water bottle, brows raising in speculation that warred with the appreciation darkening his eyes. He flicked his chin. “Show me all of it.”
Tanner shoved his running tights down his thighs without hesitation. His spine was straight, shoulders back when he met Finn’s eyes. He stood at attention and reveled under the lust shining in Finn’s smoldering gaze. Possessiveness sprang forth in the powerful rise and fall of Finn’s chest, the energy simmering from him to encircle Tanner.
Everything burned under Finn’s inspection. His erection jutted hard and dark to declare his need. His balls were full and tender, tucked up by the silicon ring. The chain seared into his skin, marking the stretch from his nipples to his cock.
But it wasn’t enough.
He could still think. Still process and worry and drown in his doubts when there was no room for any of them. Yet he couldn’t banish them. Not by himself.
Finn was the only guy he trusted to help him.
Finn closed in, the water bottle capped and tossed aside. His proximity sent the hairs on Tanner’s arms dancing in anticipation. Finn trailed a finger over the path of the chain, heat burning behind the slow glide up from the base of Tanner’s dick to the V where the nipple chain attached.
“What do you need?”
That Finn understood was everything. He almost shuddered in relief. “More.”
“How much?” He flicked one of his sore nipples, the tease agonizing in what it lacked.
“A lot.” Enough to forget. To get lost in. To escape—at least for a while.
The silence stretched, Finn flicking absently at Tanner’s nipple as he searched him. Tanner didn’t flinch away—from the touch or the silent interrogation.
You trust me?
You know I do.
You need this?
Yes.
I love you.
I know.
“Inside.” Finn bounded up the stairs and entered the cabin without looking back.
Tanner froze in place for a moment before his thoughts kicked in. Had Finn noticed how easily he’d mounted the stairs? The hitch in his step was almost nonexistent now, and his confidence showed in the way he carried himself.
His own climb wasn’t as graceful, and he shoved his tights off, along with his shoes, when he got inside. Finn was banging around in the bedroom, so he waited by the sofa. He had no idea what Finn would do or how this would end, but he wasn’t worried.
He started to turn when Finn came into the room.
“No,” Finn commanded. Excitement raced up Tanner’s spine.
“Bend over.”
Had he intentionally set himself up for this? He smiled as he complied. The back of the couch caught at his hips and he bent over, fully exposing himself to Finn. A flash of embarrassment crashed forward before he forced it back. He was with Finn.
“Give me your hands.”
Tanner complied, and Finn bound his wrists in cuffs and locked them behind him. He wasn’t completely helpless, yet the symbolism held. He was giving his power to Finn.
There was a touch at his hip, grounding him and clarifying Finn’s proximity. He widened his stance and relaxed into the soothing glide of Finn’s palm over his back. His erection was smashed between the cushion and his abdomen, the nipple chain at least slackened in this position.
“Say stop and I will.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” Finn slapped his ass, the shock stinging deep.
Fuck. “Yes.” He didn’t know if he was answering Finn’s question or responding to the flash of pain.
Another smack landed on his other cheek, and he no longer cared about anything but that. The sting blasted through his concerns over Finn, his career, his family, and the decisions he needed to make. It anchored him to the moment like nothing else could have. “More.” That was all he could think. More of this. M
ore of Finn. More of…
The blows landed fast and hard after that. Finn held one hand firm on his lower back and nailed hit after hit to his ass and upper thighs. The rapid assault didn’t allow him to do more than breathe and endure. He focused on each of the strikes, the timing of them following a steady beat. The ache grew with each hit until his entire backside was on fire.
He had no idea how many he’d taken before Finn stopped as suddenly as he’d started. He groaned his disappointment, wiggled his butt in a silent request for more. He wasn’t floating yet. Wasn’t lost in the sensations and the freedom of just being.
The pain sunk deep, blood rushing to ignite the entire area. His dick ached with the heightened sensation. He squirmed on the couch, seeking relief for the erection he’d been sporting for so damn long. An eternity now—or so it felt like.
“Enough.” Finn pressed down on his hips, halting Tanner’s movements.
Fuck. Need pooled in his groin, the prolonged denial coiling tighter and tighter as it clamored for release. “I need—”
A crack blasted across the entire width of his ass. Solid. Fucking hard as hell. His cry sprang out on reflex.
“I’ll give you what you need.”
The snarled command wound through the initial shock and layered into the pain radiating up Tanner’s back and down his legs. A paddle. It had to be a paddle.
The hard thump of his heart pulsed through his ass and into his dick. He smothered his groan into the couch and fought his urge to struggle. The strike was exactly what he wanted, even if his fight-or-flight instinct was telling him to do either one. Anything except take more.
Finn caressed the throbbing area, his touch soothing and irritating at once. “You are so hot,” he said, a finger grazing over Tanner’s hole. That lone touch ripped another groan from Tanner, pleasure rushing up to mix with the pain. “Like that?” Finn teased his hole again, rubbed it in small circles without fulfilling the promise, which only made Tanner want it more.
“Yes,” he panted. Pre-come slicked his stomach. His nipples sparked to life every time they rubbed the cushion. He scrambled to think clearly. To define what he wanted, but he could only process that he needed. More…of everything. Especially Finn. “You. Please. You.”
He didn’t care how it sounded, and that in itself was freeing.
“You have me,” Finn soothed. He continued to tease Tanner’s hole, circling, circling, the tip sliding in but not fully penetrating. Finn’s erection traced over the back of Tanner’s leg, the contact heightened by the knowledge of what he couldn’t have—until Finn let him.
“Now?” he asked on a breathy exhale.
“Always.”
Oh, fuck. The sound that leaked out was too whiny to have come from him. He didn’t whine. Ever. Except now, apparently. Finn yanked another whimper from him when he traced his fingernails over Tanner’s scrotum. The light scratch shot into his oversensitive balls and chased through his groin to lodge with the desire already knotted there.
“I’ll give you whatever you need,” Finn said. He dug under Tanner, who lifted his hips so Finn could free his erection. He stroked it once, twice, then left it hanging along the back of the couch. “Hold still,” he warned. “You don’t want me to miss.”
Tanner had half a second to process the meaning of his words before the swoosh registered and the crack echoed through the room. Pain ignited in a rush of needles and a blazing throb that sunk so deeply he couldn’t distinguish anything. Another one landed a moment later, followed by three more.
The last one lingered, the sudden silence enhancing Tanner’s harsh breaths and the roar in his ears. Darkness closed in, his head going light as those wonderful natural chemicals rushed in to set him free. He sunk into the haze and reveled in the ease that flowed through him.
Finn rubbed his arms, down his back, over his ass. The soothing strokes kept him safe. Grounded him to the one thing he couldn’t afford to lose. In that moment, his choices were crystal-clear. So easy to see.
But he didn’t have to make any decisions right now, and goddamn, that was fucking wonderful.
“You are everything,” Finn murmured by his ear. A touch of lips on his nape. “Strong.” A small bite that burned into him. “Kind.” A trace of fingers over his stinging ass. “Giving.” A touch to his hole and finally, finally full penetration.
His groan was long, low, and filled with needy relief. It wasn’t enough, though. That easy slide of a finger in and out of him sparked every aching, empty place in Tanner, all of them begging Finn to fill them. He pushed back, unable to stay still.
Finn’s chuckle rumbled over him, but he didn’t reprimand him. This was about mutual need, not rules.
“I want you,” he said, the coming out slurred when Tanner would have sworn he’d been distinct. He’d never wanted anything more in his life. Did Finn understand that?
—
“I know,” Finn answered. Damn did he know that. Every quiver and gasp exclaimed how much Tanner wanted him. The catch in his voice and mumbled words told Finn too.
He stroked Tanner’s dick, tore another moan from him that came out as a dry croak. “It’s gorgeous to see.” He rubbed Tanner’s pre-come over his erection in loose strokes that would give him pleasure but wouldn’t get him off.
He’d take the control Tanner had handed over and turn it into what they both needed.
He teased him more, soft touches countered by slaps and subtle nicks or scrapes, until Tanner was a mass of quivering sensation. Sweat gleamed on his skin, his back tattoo flexing with each clench and jump of his muscles. His ass and upper thighs were bright red, heat flaring under Finn’s palm wherever he touched.
A familiar power rushed through him, but it was different with Tanner. This time it was backed by a desperate need to ensure that his lover was cared for—in every way. No exchange had ever been so important, and he refused to fail. Tanner was counting on him to be the confident, controlled man he needed Finn to be.
He slicked up Tanner’s hole, marveling at the easy stretch. He was aching to sink into him. To love him and fuck him. Finn’s dick had been hard since Tanner had ripped his shirt off outside. The sight of the clamps and chains had triggered an immediate visceral reaction he hadn’t tried to ignore. Not when there’d been no need to.
His eyes rolled back and he moaned long and deep as he sunk into Tanner. The muscles clamped down, holding his dick tightly. This was…better than he’d ever dared to dream.
“God, I love you.” He leaned over Tanner, kissed his neck, his cheek. Savored the quiet peace that flowed from his heart to blanket his soul. In that instant, need, hunger, worries, and fears disappeared into a firm sense of belonging.
Then he reared back, dragging Tanner up by a fistful of hair and a hand around his throat. Tanner’s grunts were matched by his as Finn pounded into him. Quick, hard jabs that smacked his hips into Tanner’s sore backside and drove them both to the edge.
He shoved Tanner back down, gripped his hips, and let his passion loose. He wasn’t gentle, and he didn’t worry about it. They both needed to fly. To race to the end after the buildup.
Tanner’s legs shook, but he rocked back to meet every thrust, small moans peppering out with each stroke. His legs ached. His back was starting to cramp after the workout, and now this. He didn’t stop, though. This was his to own, and fuck if he wasn’t going to master every damn second of it.
He slowed, breaths cutting through the air. Tanner cursed, a desperate rasp to the word. Finn clenched his jaw to hold in his own protest. His balls were drawn up tight, tension coiled in his groin. He clung to the tick, tick, tick that wove through his subconscious until he pulled it to the front of his mind.
He’d kept the app in his ear to center himself. It was a crutch he had no problem using if it enabled him to give Tanner this. Hell, he’d do anything for him. Did Tanner know that?
His skin was hot to the touch, his ass and thighs warming Finn’s on every contact. He ground into t
hem on his next descent, rubbing hard. Tanner panted his approval, pushing into the contact.
He bent down, chest covering Tanner’s back. “You ready?” he asked, his own orgasm barely contained.
“Yes.” The breathy word teased at Finn’s dominant need. “Please.” And that right there was everything. Tanner was his—in every way. His trust was Finn’s strength.
He reached around and released the clamps, rearing up to slam into Tanner as the blood rushed back to Tanner’s nipples. His cry braced the air, raw and pain-filled. It obliterated the last of Finn’s control, power and lust colliding in his chest. He grunted his need and somehow found the coordination to jack Tanner’s cock in time with his thrusts.
“Come. Fuck. Come.” His disjointed command was laughable in its lack of authority, but it didn’t matter. Not with Finn. “With me. Come on.” He was so lost. There was no control anymore. Just blind urgency that mocked any attempt to harness it.
He came with a wild roar and a flash of blinding heat that shattered his thoughts to everything but this. Tanner. And the future they could have.
One he wanted as much as needed.
Tanner tensed, his cry a tortured howl of relief before it thinned into a dazed hum and warm come splattered over Finn’s feet.
Finn came to a stop, panting, sprawled over Tanner. The scent of sex and sweat greeted him on every inhalation, their deep breaths a testament to how high they’d flown together.
Tick. Tick. Tick. The backdrop to his life held the threads together and reminded him of how much he had to lose. He tightened his hold on Tanner, determined to have this. To care for Tanner however he needed it.
This part was easy. He could be this guy for him. It was the rest of the stuff he couldn’t quite grasp. Not when he wasn’t sure who he was anymore—or what Tanner was going to do.
Chapter 24
“Can I get you another one?” Rig asked, pointing to Tanner’s empty beer bottle.
Tanner stared at the bottle like it held the answers to the hundred questions running through his head without actually processing Rig’s question. What were they going to do? What was he going to do? Could he really leave the Corps and the career he’d been building for twenty years? And then what? Join Kick and start over? Come out to his family and risk their disappointment, or worse, their rejection? How could he be the man Finn needed him to be while still being the man he needed to be?