“Did you get the emails I sent you?” I choke out.
His jaw clenches and he nods. “I did.”
Another tear falls from the corner of my eye. “You never responded.”
He shakes his head slowly before shamefully dropping it. “I’m sorry, Mia.”
I poured my heart and soul into those emails. I told him how much I cared for him and how much I missed him, only to have him never respond.
I swat at my cheek, wiping the tears. I must look like an idiot, crying over the past. Except Mateo was so much more to me than just my past. From the very depths of my soul, I’ve loved Mateo, starting the day I met him, and I know I’ll love him until the day I die.
“Please don’t cry.” His voice is soft and comforting, and his large hand cups my cheek. I shake off his touch and sit up straight, doing my best to swallow down my emotions.
His voice is caring yet firm. “I’m here now, and I’m never letting you go again.”
CHAPTER FOUR
I’m never letting you go again. His words play on repeat, over and over through my brain. What does that even mean? I still live in New York and he’s still in California. We’re literally an entire country apart.
“Mateo—”
“Shhh . . .” He presses a finger to my lips before moving it slowly across my cheek. The fire crackles and the room begins to warm, or maybe it’s the effect of Mateo’s touch. I can see the flicker of the flames in Mateo’s deep, hazel eyes as he hovers over me and my pulse quickens.
“What are we doing?” I ask, as he leans down and brushes his nose against mine, his lips barely grazing the side of my mouth, teasing me.
“Making up for lost time.” Then his lips crash against mine and the weight of his body settles on me. I can feel his erection through his jeans, long and hard, pressed against my stomach.
I pinch my eyes closed and inhale sharply as he rocks gently against me—allowing me to feel him. Slowly and methodically, he moves, my legs falling farther apart with each unhurried movement he makes. Suddenly, Mateo pushes himself up and yanks the blanket out from between us. Shrugging off his jacket, his eyes never leave mine. He’s wearing a navy-blue t-shirt and fitted blue jeans. His jeans are just tight enough I can see the outline of his muscular thighs and his erection, and he smiles deviously when he catches me looking.
Leaning down, he tugs each of my boots off while I pull my arms out of my parka, tossing it aside. The room is still cold, but my body is on fire. The weight of Mateo’s gaze causes a shiver to roll through me.
Lowering himself, he sidles up next to me then pulls the blanket over us and tucks my head under his chin. His long arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me even closer to him. So close, I can feel his heartbeat and his warm breath against the top of my head.
We lie, watching the fire, all wrapped up in each other. Content and quiet, comforted in each other’s arms. The silence should be uncomfortable but it’s not. It never was with us. Mateo and I could read each other’s mood and emotions with a simple glance.
His fingers make small circles though my shirt onto my stomach, and the soft pattern of his breaths lull me to sleep, in the arms of the boy I thought I’d never see again. Somewhere in this moment, all the years of hurt I’ve been carrying around, disappear.
* * *
I’m not sure what time it is, but the sound of Mateo piling more wood onto the fire wakes me. The room is now comfortable. Not hot, and not cold, but having been wrapped in Mateo’s arms under the blanket actually has me feeling warm.
“Didn’t mean to wake you,” he says, his voice rough.
“You didn’t.” I wiggle on the floor as I stretch my arms above my head, and a little groan escapes me.
“This isn’t very comfortable, is it?” He also stretches before standing up. “Let’s move to the bed and get off the floor.”
He pulls back the comforter and top sheet on the bed as I push myself up, wobbling on my tired legs.
“How’s the wrist?” he asks when he sees me favor it, having accidentally used it to steady myself against the wall.
“It’s sore, but not terrible. Hopefully, it won’t even bother me tomorrow.”
“Good.” He smiles at me, his eyes heavy and tired. “Let’s get you in bed.”
I nod toward the attached bathroom. “I’m going to change first.” I gesture toward my jeans that aren’t at all comfortable to sleep in, and I’m dying to get this bra off. Sleeping in an underwire is my version of hell.
Mateo grabs my suitcase from the corner and lays it across a chair my mom must have added to my room because I don’t remember it being here before. I pull out an oversized t-shirt, along with my toiletry case. Using the flashlight from my phone to illuminate the bathroom, I quickly change. The space isn’t warm, and goose bumps prick my skin. I turn on the sink to let the water run for a minute before I wet my toothbrush. I want any old water or dirt in the pipe to clear.
The water is frigid. So cold, my teeth actually chatter when I run my hand through the slow but steady stream.
I brush my teeth quickly and rinse my mouth before hurrying back to the bedroom, damn near diving into the bed and under the covers. Mateo has already taken his side of the bed and pulled the comforter over him, up to his mid-chest. Mid-bare-chest, I should add. The tan skin of his shoulders peeks out from the top of the comforter, and my eyes take in the defined muscles that travel from his chest, over his shoulders, and I’m sure onto his back.
My stomach flips when he reaches for me under the covers and pulls me to him, much like he did when we were on the floor. Only this time, I face him. Our faces are mere inches apart, our noses almost touching. His warm breath dances across my face, and his full lips are so close, I’d only have to tilt my head to feel them on mine again.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he says quietly. “I’m glad we get some time alone before everyone else gets here.”
“If they get here,” I remark, hearing the wind blow wildly outside. I can’t even imagine what it looks like or how much snow has accumulated. He chuckles. “But I’m glad we get this time too,” I answer him.
His hand rests on my hip where he wiggled it underneath my t-shirt, his fingers skimming the outline of my panties. The gentle movement causes a heat to rush through me, pooling between my legs.
How I’ve dreamt of his fingers touching me, stroking me, plunging inside me. I’ve longed for his touch all these years.
His hand slides to my lower back and he pulls me closer. Chest to chest, hips to hips. I gasp when I feel him, all of him, naked and pressed against me. His bare leg nudges its way between mine, and his firm erection is pressed against my stomach, only my thin t-shirt between us. My nipples are hard little peaks rubbing against his chest and with every movement, a jolt shoots down from them to my core. I moan as his leg moves higher, brushing against my center.
He can feel my heat, my want, and his eyes grow darker when he sees my need. A need matching his own.
“I won’t do anything you don’t want to do, Mia, but I’m not going to lie. It’s fucking hard laying here next to you and not being inside you.”
I swallow thickly at his admission and close my eyes.
“I’ve always wanted you.” He leans in, pressing a kiss to the side of my mouth. “Your body.” He runs his hand up from my back, over the side of my chest, and to my breast where he cups it, giving my sensitive nipple a little pinch. “Your mouth.” He drags his lips over mine and gently sucks on my lower lip. “Your heart.” He gently moves his warm hand from my breast to my chest, where he rests it against my wildly beating heart. “All of you.”
And that’s when I lose all self-control.
“Touch me,” I barely muster, as I pull him on top of me. I roll to my back and Mateo hovers above me, caging me with his arms.
My hips fall open and he rests himself between my legs, my wet panties pressed against his thick and throbbing bare cock.
> “You’re so wet, Mia,” he remarks, pushing himself into a sitting position. His fingers tug at the hem of my t-shirt, and he pushes it up my chest and over my head before tossing it to the floor. “And we won’t need these either.” He pulls at the black lace panties I have on. “Although, black lace is my favorite.” He wads the lacy material into a ball and throws it to the floor, where my t-shirt sits, discarded in a pile on the plush carpet.
His strong hands grip my thighs and he leans in, pressing a kiss to the inside of each one. His soft lips lightly pepper kisses up to my center, where he slides his tongue over my bare slit. He looks up at me with a devilish smile on his lips before lowering again and pulling my clit between his lips.
“Mmmm,” he rumbles, his warm tongue circling my clit. Mateo draws himself back, sitting on his knees. His eyes are dark and needy, and I writhe underneath him, desperate for him, his touch. He lowers himself between my legs, our warm skin touching. His chest is dusted with a small amount of dark hair, just enough to make him a man, and no longer the boy with the smooth chest I fell in love with as a child.
My fingers trace the muscles of his shoulders down to his chest and over his hips, finally coming to a rest on the hard muscles of his ass. His tongue laps at my nipple, gently sucking and biting, as his hands slide underneath me, resting under my own ass. He lifts me, tilting my hips, where’s he aligned himself at my center.
“I’m clean,” he says, between sucks. “But I have a condom if you want me to wear one.”
My head rolls from side-to-side. “I’m clean too, and on the pill.” I can’t imagine not feeling him bare. He’s the one man I’ve saved that for. No one else has been allowed to touch me without protection.
He pauses, pressing the tip of his nose to mine. His hazel eyes hold mine as he drags his hard cock through my wetness, positioning himself again at my entrance.
“Look at me,” he says. “Don’t close your eyes.” I groan as his head pushes through my folds. “I’ve always wanted to know what your face would look like when I was inside you.”
My fingers dig into the flesh of his hard ass as he slowly pushes into me, our bodies joining for the first time. My entire body jolts as he enters me, long, firm, and wide. I gasp at how large he is, and my body finally relaxes as he fills me.
“God, Mia!” he groans as he begins to move. One long, slow thrust after another. Skin-to-skin. He pulls completely out, and fills me again. Every movement deliberate and methodical. His pubic bone presses against my clit and my entire body tingles as he works me over.
“So tight,” he mumbles against my lips, between ragged breaths. “So warm.” His movements quicken, and I can feel him grow harder inside me. “Come for me, Mia.” He grinds into me, harder and faster. My entire body shudders and my back arches off the bed as I cry out his name.
“That’s my girl,” he grunts. With three more heady thrusts, he stiffens, spilling his release inside of me.
As he collapses on top of me, his lips press against the curve of my neck, and I breathe in the clean scent of his warm skin. Our breaths are shallow as our bodies shake and slowly come down from the high. He stays seated inside me, and I can feel him soften. I want him to stay like this, but he finally pulls himself from me, and I can feel his warm release slide out of me.
“Let me clean you up.” He jumps up from the bed and walks to the bathroom, his back on full display, filled with rippling muscles.
When he returns with a wet washcloth, he winces. “It’s going to be cold,” he says, nudging my knees apart. I startle when the ice-cold cloth hits my most sensitive skin, and he gives me an apologetic look. “Sorry.”
He gently cleans all of me, his touch delicate, careful, and comforting. When he’s finished, Mateo tosses the washcloth into the bathroom and slides back into bed next to me, pulling me against him.
“Sleep, sweet girl,” he whispers against my ear. “There’s a lot more of that to come.”
I can feel the smile tug at my lips as I close my eyes, sinking my back into his warm chest, and fall asleep in his arms.
CHAPTER FIVE
The smell of burning wood wakes me, and my body hums with a delicious soreness. “Good morning, beautiful.” Mateo’s voice is quiet and raspy, and the only sound I ever want to wake up to again.
“Morning.” I open one of my eyes to find him sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. The fire still roars in the fireplace, a sign Mateo has been up tending to it. “What time is it?” I roll to my side, pulling the comforter up under my armpits. My bare shoulders are chilly, but Mateo runs his finger over one of them and I don’t want him to stop.
He glances at his wrist. “Six-thirty, and it’s still snowing,” he remarks. “It’s coming down really heavy. The drifts are insane but I was able to get us more firewood from outside, and I think I located the solar power box. I just have to get to it through the snow.”
“Where is it?” I ask, and push myself up, resting my back against the fabric headboard.
“Side of the house”—he points—”but there are literally six-foot snow drifts.”
“Shit,” I mumble.
“But if I can get over there, we’ll have heat, hot water, and power.”
“Do you want me to help you?”
“No. It’s freezing outside of this room. Stay in here while I go try to get to it. With the snow continuing to fall, the sooner I try, the better.” He pushes himself up from the side of the bed and pulls on a hooded sweatshirt, then layers a large ski jacket over the top of it before sliding his large hands into some gloves. “Wait for me here.” He winks at me and strolls out of the bedroom.
While Mateo is outside, I brush my teeth with ice-cold water and twist my hair into a messy bun on top of my head. I put on an oversized, cable-knit sweater and a pair of leggings, both of them comfortable and warm, and perfect for the chilly situation we’re in right now.
Busying myself, I unpack my suitcase, then throw a couple more logs into the flames to keep the fire blazing. I put on my parka and collect all the candles from throughout the house, setting about ten of them on my dresser to use tonight, if needed.
After making the bed, I finish tidying up the room just as I hear Mateo return inside. His cheeks and nose are bright pink against his tan skin and his jawline is showing the first signs of a five o’clock shadow.
“Any luck?”
He shakes his head and shrugs out of his jacket, hanging it on the door handle. “Looks like another night in here . . . not that I mind.” His eyes find mine and he smirks. “I’ve been waiting a long time for last night, Mia.”
He takes three short steps and rests his hands on my shoulders. My heart thrums wildly in my chest.
“Me too,” I answer, almost shyly. I’ve never been timid, especially around Mateo, but he has me tongue-tied. His hands fall from my shoulders and slide down my arms to take my hands in his. I look up into his hazel eyes and my world stands still, déjà vu slicing through this moment.
“Remember the night before you left, when we danced in my bedroom?” I ask, and his lips twist into a giant smile at the memory.
“I’d never forget it.” Mateo’s right hand slides behind me, finding that spot on my lower back, like it did so many years ago.
I rest my forehead against his neck and breathe in his clean scent. Everything about this man is perfect. I clear my throat and stand up straighter before looking up into his eyes. “Every time I hear an Ed Sheeran song, I always think of you,” I admit reluctantly.
He pulls me closer to him and begins to hum the tune of “Thinking Out Loud,” causing goose bumps to prick my skin. This was the song we danced to when he first kissed me, which was also the same night he left me. I’ll never forget the way Mateo felt in my arms that night. The way I could feel how much he wanted what I did, and how devastated I was when he pulled away and left. I swallow down those emotions and bring myself back to the present. To where we are now.
&n
bsp; We dance slowly, wrapped in each other’s arms, his warm body pressed to mine and, for a fraction of a second, I allow myself to feel scared and vulnerable again. Like I did the night he left me. Is this how we’ll end a second time? The same way we did four years ago? Mateo’s arms adjust, pulling me even closer to him, so tight against his chest, like he’ll never let me go. An unspoken promise.
“Let’s make this work, Mia,” he whispers in my ear. “I don’t want to live another day without you as mine.” My heart thrums wildly in my chest as he speaks those words. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
Those words, so honest and true, melt me. They are the words I’ve dreamt of him saying to me.
“I love you too, Teo. I always have.”
“Then tell me we’ll make this work, Mia. Give us a chance.”
I wiggle out of his arms, taking a step back, simply to catch my breath. These last twenty-four hours have been a whirlwind of emotions for me and while this is what I’ve always wanted, it has definitely caught me off guard.
“Are you being serious?”
He nods. “Dead serious. We’ve accomplished what I felt we both needed to do on our own. Now let’s conquer the world together.”
My eyes well with tears and I nod excitedly. Mateo picks me up and twirls me around at the foot of the bed. With a thud, we land in the middle of my newly made bed.
“Don’t know why you bothered making the bed.” He winks at me and presses his lips to mine. “I’m not done with you.”
Heat floods my body and my core throbs with want. Mateo slides off the bed, taking my leggings with him. I lift my bottom to help him and he tosses them to the floor. I shiver, and he notices. “Cold?”
I’m not sure if it’s the cool air or the way he looks at me that sends another jolt through me.
“Come here.” He smirks as he reaches out and pulls me up from the bed, then grabs a chenille blanket and lays it on the floor in front of the fire. “You won’t be needing this either.”
Mixtape: A Love Song Anthology Page 29