As I’ve been doing ever since I got to Goat, I ignore Sensible-Lana once again. “I’d like that too.”
12
Declan:
I’m staying. I think I’ve known it all along, but when I won that stupid stuffed cat for her at the fair, and her entire face had lit up, a certainty filled my heart.
There are a million things that could go wrong. Both Blake and I are looking for something serious, but Lana might not be interested. Some women see doctors and their eyes light up, but the reality is far less glamorous. Doctors work long hours and are constantly stressed out. Divorce rates in my profession are sky-high.
And a threesome? So far, every single time we’ve been together, it’s felt natural, but will our unconventional relationship survive the test of time? I don’t know.
There are no guarantees in life, Declan, I remind myself. You look at the cards you’ve been dealt, and you make the best hand out of it.
As Lana snuggles up against me, her soft curves pressing into my body, I’ve never been surer that I’ve been dealt a winning hand.
Monday morning, I call Willem Kraker, the Dutch department head who would have been my boss at the UN. “Dr. Wilde, it’s good to hear from you,” he booms. “I was going to reach out to you via email. The hiring committee would like your permission to check your references.”
The UN only checks references of candidates they’re very interested in. From Dr. Kraker’s tone, the job’s probably mine.
“That’s great news,” I reply with a grimace. “Unfortunately, Dr. Kraker, I’m afraid that my plans have changed. I apologize for any inconvenience I’m causing, but I’m going to have to withdraw my job application.”
“You are?” He doesn’t bother to hide his disappointment. “May I ask why? If it’s a matter of salary…”
“It’s not.” I close my eyes and see Lana’s dark hair spread out on the white pillowcase. I have no regrets. “It’s not another job offer. It’s personal. I’ve met someone here, and I don’t think moving to Geneva is the right option for me anymore.”
He sighs. “I can’t compete with love,” he concedes. “If you ever change your mind, Dr. Wilde, please do let me know. We were extremely impressed with your application and with all the work you’ve done with Medecins San Frontieres.”
I politely tell him I will, and get off the phone. My next call is to my accountant, Olivia Cohen. “I’m going to need to access a few thousand dollars,” I tell her. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“How many thousands?” she asks. “If you need under a hundred thousand dollars, no problem. If it’s more than that, I’ll have to move some things around.”
I don’t know what kind of a mess Rhodes and Swanson have left. Lettie Herman said she prepaid for her sessions. I have no idea how many other ‘patients’ the doctors took money from. If we’re going to stay, the fastest, easiest thing to do is refund all the women their money and deal with the two doctors later.
“I doubt it’s more than a hundred grand.” It better not be. “But move things around anyway. Just in case.”
Blake and I spend most of the next two days with Lana. On Monday, we drive to a nearby trail and go for a four-hour hike. Tuesday, we explore an area waterfall. Wednesday, we head back to Elvira’s cabin during the day, and in the evening, we head to Amici Miei, a fantastic little Italian trattoria that has recently opened in Goat. “The chefs are Italian,” Blake warns her with a grin. “Try not to jump them if they speak Italian to you, tesoro mio.”
Thursday morning, Lana firmly shakes her head at breakfast. “I have to work,” she says resolutely. “My boss is supposed to call me today, and he’s going to kill me when he finds out I haven’t done anything.”
“Boss?” I frown at her. “Aren’t you a writer?”
She flushes guiltily. “I meant my editor,” she replies. “I’ve gotten into the habit of calling him my boss. It started out as a joke, but it’s stuck.” She takes a sip of coffee. “My publishers paid me an advance,” she adds. “I can’t be late with my book.”
She’s nervous, and I’m not really sure why. “Okay,” I reply, putting my hand over hers. “I’m not going to apologize for monopolizing your time, but we’ll leave you alone today.”
Blake sighs. “We have work of our own, in any case,” he says, fixing me with a meaning look.
We do. The two of us have to deal with Rhonda, get in touch with Dr. Rhodes and Dr. Swanson, both of who seem to be dodging our calls, and take the necessary steps to clean up the whole operation. The last three days have been idyllic, but we can’t avoid reality forever.
“What do you have to do?” Lana asks curiously.
I exchange a glance with Blake. Neither of us has told Lana how we feel about her. As far as she knows, we’re only in town for a month. I’m not sure how she feels about us, and I don’t want to pressure her into anything. Especially because a ménage a trois relationship is so unorthodox.
“Today,” I reply evasively, “we’re assembling furniture.”
She frowns at my vague reply but doesn’t probe. It’s not a total lie, I tell myself. After Blake’s great-aunt made her throwaway comment about how unsanitary she found the Clinic of Love, Blake and I realized that most legitimate patients are probably going to feel the same way. We’re getting new waiting room chairs, new examination tables, new medical equipment and more.
Elvira Grantham has been spreading the word around town that the Clinic of Love is getting a makeover.
I’m more than ready to pay George Rhodes an above-market price for his property. If he protests… Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Whatever the two sleazy doctors might say, we’re determined to do this. We’re taking over the clinic.
Lana gives us a long look from under her eyelashes. “And tonight,” she whispers, “maybe we could check another item off my list?”
I think about her bucket list.
Kiss a stranger at the bar? Check.
Have sex outside? Check.
Get really good oral sex? From the way her thighs gripped the side of my head last night, I think that’s a ‘Check.’
Sex while blindfolded? We did that on Monday. It was epic.
Which leaves anal and a threesome.
“We could check off two,” I reply. I wrap a strand of her dark hair around my fingers and tug her closer.
“That’s good,” she breathes. “The butt plug was hot, but I’m ready for the real thing.”
Blake groans. “You’re killing me, Lana. How am I supposed to get anything done today when the only thing I’ll be thinking about is fucking you? Sinking my cock into your sweet pussy and hearing you moan my name?”
Her cheeks flush, and she bites her lush lower lip. “You won’t be the only one having trouble with work,” she murmurs.
An involuntary smile curls over my lips. Then a disquieting thought strikes me. We’re almost done with Lana’s sex bucket list.
The second thing she wrote: Have a vacation fling.
I really hope that she sees us as more than just a temporary hookup. Because I really like Lana, and I don’t want to lose her.
13
Lana:
John is not happy. “Where the hell have you been?” he yells into the phone. “You’re not answering your emails, you’re not returning my phone calls. What the hell, Lana?”
“What are you talking about?” I retort. “I sent you an email on Monday. The Clinic of Love isn’t open Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I explained all of that in my email and told you I was taking three vacation days. You know, the ones I’ve been trying to take since January.”
He ignores every word of my speech. As usual. “What do you have for me on the doctors?”
I heave a sigh. “I’m going to drop in at the Clinic tonight,” I tell him. “I’m going to see if I can sweet-talk my way into an appointment.”
The eagerness in his voice is impossible to miss. “You’ll be taping it, rig
“Yes, I’ll be recording the doctors.” John’s blatant greed shouldn’t really come as a surprise. He’s been fantasizing about the click-bait headlines ever since he sent me here. I’m positive that no matter what I discover, John’s going to spin it in the most lurid light.
Sex and scandal sell. When I first started out, The Torch did serious reporting, but lately, I’ve had to fight to write meaningful features. It’s been one sensationalist headline after another.
I’ve been really happy the last three days, and it’s not just the amazing sex I’ve been having. Blake and Declan are great company. Declan’s more serious, and Blake’s more lighthearted, but both men have amazing senses of humor. They’ve both been attentive, kind and genuinely interested in getting to know me better.
I’m reluctant to investigate the sleazy doctors for obvious reasons. Once I’m done with my story, I’ll have no reason to stay in Goat, Oregon. It’ll be back to Portland, with nothing other than my dead cactus for company.
You’re being dramatic, Lana. Nothing’s stopping you from starting to date again in Portland.
Except I don’t want to date other men.
I’m falling in love with Blake and Declan. Which is crazy. I can’t fall in love with two guys. I can’t be in such a strange relationship, can I?
Say Yes instead of No, Lana.
Elvira Grantham had offered to introduce me to Connor Perkins on Sunday, but we hadn’t run into him at the fair. The more I think about working at a small-town paper, the more I’m tempted by the thought. Could I do it? Could I stay in this town and have the courage to tell Declan and Blake that I want more than a vacation fling?
My pulse starts to race. Sweat beads on my forehead. I’ve never actually told a guy I liked him, let alone two. It’s a terrifying thought.
Say Yes instead of No, Lana.
“Perfect.” John’s voice jerks me back to our phone conversation. I can picture him rubbing his hands together in satisfaction. “Give me a call tonight to tell me how it went.”
“I’ll give you a call tomorrow,” I reply firmly. If he protests, I’m going to quit.
But John knows when to push and when to back away. He’s got what he wants; I’m going to see the doctors tonight. “No problem, Lana,” he says cooperatively. “Get your story tonight. Call me in the morning.”
Blake:
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Rhonda, the red-haired office assistant, is spitting mad. She glares at the two of us, her hands on her hips, outrage emanating from every pore.
Declan’s lips curl into a smile. “I have a phone call to make,” he says. “Why don’t you talk to Blake?” He retreats into one of the examination rooms.
I bite back my own grin. I threw him under the bus the other day when Lettie Herman showed up determined to score, and this is his revenge. Turning to Rhonda, I raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“You two are spreading the word around town that George and Ted aren’t coming back,” she accuses. “Now you have new furniture being delivered, and I hear you’re making an offer on the building. What’s next? Renaming the clinic?”
“That’s a good point,” I say calmly. “We definitely need to rename the clinic. Clinic of Love sounds like a seventies porn flick.” I give the assistant a steady look. “Rhonda, be honest with yourself. The clock’s ticking on this little operation. What’s the longest the two doctors have ever lasted in a town?”
A look of reluctant resignation flashes across her face. “Eighteen months,” she admits. “This was our longest stint, and it was only because they stayed on the straight and the narrow for the first six months.”
“Exactly. You’re obviously in touch with Dr. Swanson and Dr. Rhodes. Talk to them. The offer Declan and I made for the building is more than generous. We’re also willing to refund any clients that have prepaid for their special services. It’s a good deal. Tell them to accept it. It’s time to move on.”
She looks uncertain. Just then, Lettie Herman walks in, a frown on her face. The moment Rhonda catches sight of her, her spine stiffens. “You,” she spits out. “What do you want?”
“I asked Mrs. Herman to drop by.” I incline my head at the blonde woman. “If you’ll follow me,” I say, pointing to one of the examination rooms.
I need privacy for this conversation.
No matter what Declan might say, I know he’s still bothered by what his brother did. He’s spent most of the last decade working in some of the poorest parts of the world, torn apart by war, famine, and strife as a form of atonement.
Everyone in Goat knows that the two of us have nothing to do with the Clinic of Love, but if the smutty clinic becomes public knowledge, our reputations are going to be damaged.
I can withstand that, but I don’t want it to happen to Declan. I invited him to Goat. I was the one that wanted to set up a clinic in this small town, and because of that, I accepted Ted Swanson and George Rhodes’ offer without investigating it fully.
This mess is my fault.
Then there’s Lana. I’m completely certain that if there’s any scandal, I don’t want Lana dragged into it. I can see the headlines now. Doctors In A Threesome Run Sex Clinic in Oregon. Journalists can be brutal in their search for a story, and I want to protect Lana. I like her far too much. She deserves better than that.
Most of the patients who received special services from the doctors are single women, women who are just as interested as I am in keeping this clinic out of the spotlight. There’s only one wild card.
Lettie Herman’s estranged husband Michael.
“What do you want?” Lettie’s voice is hostile as I shut the door to the examination room. “If you’re going to lecture me about my sins like that fucking bitch Rhonda, I’m not interested.”
I sit down on one of the chairs. “No lectures, I promise,” I tell her. “You said you prepaid for the Clinic of Love’s special services. I’d like to offer you a refund.”
“Oh.” She sits down as well. “That’s good, I guess.”
I survey Lettie Herman covertly. She doesn’t look happy to get her money back. She just looks miserable.
“Mrs. Herman,” I say gently, “I’m not your doctor, and this is none of my business. Is everything okay? If your husband is hurting you in any way, we can help you.”
“Hurting me?” Her head snaps up in shock. “No, of course not. You have it all wrong. Michael would never hurt me.”
I can tell she’s struggling to decide if she should confide in me or not. I wait as patiently as I can. Finally, she seems to come to a decision. “We can’t have children,” she says bleakly. “I’m barren. Michael has always said it doesn’t matter to him, but I know it does. Then his niece Janet gave birth to a little boy, and when I saw Michael’s face when he held the baby, I knew I had to do something drastic.”
Understanding dawns over me. “You thought that if Michael found out about your visit to the clinic, he’d divorce you.”
She nods. “I paid for the sessions with our credit card. I didn’t try to keep it a secret. I wanted my husband to find out.”
“That’s really dumb,” I say bluntly. “Sure, your husband might have given you a divorce, but he might have also come after the two doctors with a shotgun. Did you think about that?”
“He’s not the violent sort,” she argues. “He wouldn’t hurt a fly. I know him.”
I take a deep breath. “Mrs. Herman, Dr. Wilde and I are interested in setting up a real clinic. We don’t want to create a scene, and we don’t want to get drawn into anything sordid. We’re just here to practice medicine.”
She’s quiet for a few minutes. “You’re right,” she says at last. “I shouldn’t have involved anyone in my private life. I’ll talk to Michael and tell him everything.”
I don’t agree with what she did, but her actions were motivated by love, not hatred. I hope for her sake that everything works out.
She gets to her feet, and I open the door. “Thank you for your help, Doctor,” she’s saying as she walks into the lobby. “I feel so much better now.”
I’m not looking at her. I’m looking at the dark-haired woman who’s just walked into the clinic, one who’s staring at me with betrayal in her eyes. Lana.
“It’s you,” she says, a tremble in her voice. Declan chooses that moment to walk into the waiting room, and her head snaps from me to him. “It’s both of you. You’re the doctors that get women off.”
“Lana, we can explain,” Declan starts to say.
She cuts us off with a sweeping gesture of her hand. “No,” she says. “Please don’t. For almost two weeks, the two of you have avoided every question about what you do for a living. It all makes sense now.”
She pivots on her heels and rushes out.
Fuck.
14
Lana:
How could I be such a fool?
As I drive down the curvy country roads, tears form in my eyes, blurring my vision. I’ve always been careful. I haven’t dated much, but I’ve always been cautious enough to Google every guy I’ve gone out with.
I broke all my rules with Declan and Blake.
At the start, I told myself it was because it was a vacation fling.
I drive faster than the speed limit, my rental car hugging the road. It’s a lovely summer day. The sky is blue and cloudless, the sun shines down, the fields are green, but I notice none of it.
I’m so fucking naive. There I was, thinking I’d stumbled on every woman’s fantasy. Not one perfect guy but two. There I was, wondering if our relationship could last past my vacation.
You stupid idiot, Lana.
All the while, it turns out that the guys I’m sleeping with are the two sleazy doctors who are happy to jill off any woman in sight. Ugh. I feel dirty and unclean, and I want to burn my stupid sex bucket list.
-->