by Jill Lynn
She took a bite, the rage that had propelled her in search of Luc melting with the cocoa tantalizing her tongue. This had been a smart move on his part. Not that she was over and done with what had happened.
“Oh, my.” She mumbled over the bite of brownie, not in the least bit proper, then swallowed the fudge-like treat. “Are there chocolate chips in these?”
“Yep.”
They were still gooey from the oven, and for the moment Cate decided to concentrate on the brownie instead of Luc. She liked one more than she liked the other right now.
Luc slid backward to sit on the counter, too, then picked up his plate. He dug in, and Cate took another forkful, savoring with her eyes closed.
“I take it you still feel the same way about baked goods as you did at nineteen.”
His tease held a hint of intimacy. A dance of remembering back to the time when they’d been inseparable and had known all there was to know about each other.
“Maybe.” She went with a light answer, unwilling to engage the deeper feelings simmering under the surface. Cate allowed herself another bite, the sugar easing into her system. “Okay, Wilder. You’ve got me mellowed out. Now what do you want?”
He speared another bite of brownie but left the loaded fork on his plate. “I really didn’t mean to upset you about Ruby. I thought you’d see the note. I even pulled a cracker box out of the cupboard to prop it up. The cabin is so neat I thought you’d notice something out of place right away.”
She did like having everything clean and orderly. It made her feel safe. In control. Like she could handle the other burning fires if her home life was organized.
Cate could concede that Luc had tried to communicate with her. “I’m surprised I didn’t notice. I got done with my meeting and rushed into the living room, but then I couldn’t find her anywhere and I just...freaked.”
“I’m sorry for that.”
“Okay.” She could accept his apology. “Thanks.”
“You’re not used to anyone but you taking care of Ruby.”
She mulled over his statement, then decided on acceptance. After all, Luc had chosen not to continue fighting with her when she’d flown at him in full attack mode. “You’re right. I’m not.”
“That’s what I want to talk to you about.”
Where was Luc going with this?
“You’re holding me back, Cate.” His voice was quiet. Nonconfrontational. But it still stung. “Not necessarily from Ruby, though I would imagine she can sense the turmoil between us. It’s funny. You’re the one who kept Ruby from me, but it almost feels like...” He set his scraped clean plate down, and it clattered against the metal.
“Like what?” Her voice hitched. She both did and didn’t want to know.
“Like you’re mad at me.”
Oh, boy. A layer of moisture coated her eyes, surprising her. She blinked it away quickly, mind reeling at his statement.
She’d never thought about it before, but he was right.
She was mad. About the way it had all ended so horribly. Gutted that he’d left after their fight, no matter what she’d said to him. If he’d been telling her the truth, why hadn’t he fought for her? She’d told him to leave, but she’d wanted him to stay and convince her his feelings were true.
“I guess...” Cate set down her empty plate and studied her fingernails, barely resisting the urge to slip her thumbnail between her teeth. She’d been doing so well on breaking that habit. She shoved her hands beneath her legs and glanced to Luc, who was patiently waiting for her to continue. Analyzing her intently in that unnerving way he had. “I suppose you’re right. It was easier to be upset with you for what happened at the end—”
Luc growled. “I never so much as laid eyes on another woman, Cate, if that’s what you’re referring to.”
What did he want her to say? Suddenly, I believe you? Cate had fallen so hard and fast for Luc when they were young that when the question of trusting him had arisen, she didn’t have an answer. How did a person go about choosing to put their faith in someone? How did that work? And what if they made the wrong choice? Cate’s trust button was broken, and she didn’t know of a repair shop that worked on that kind of issue.
Except for God. But He hadn’t healed that gaping wound in her life. At least not yet.
“Let me finish. It was easier to be mad at you for how things ended than it was to be upset at myself for doing what I did to you. Easier to blame you than to admit it was fully my decision to keep Ruby from you. Because if I could focus on what I saw as your part in all of it, I didn’t feel as guilty.”
Ouch. Cate had never admitted anything of the sort to herself. She’d just been pointing fingers. Deep down, she’d known it was wrong not to tell Luc about Ruby, but she’d been so afraid of losing her daughter that she’d let that keep her from doing the right thing.
What a mess she’d made.
Luc was right. It wasn’t just her and Ruby anymore. Luc was part of the picture. And she needed to stop treating him like he was an intruder and start treating him like Ruby’s father.
No matter how painful the change.
* * *
This was the most truthful Cate had been with him yet. Luc wasn’t sure if it was the brownie or the calm conversation that had her defenses down, but he liked this side of her. Then again, maybe it was dangerous to have Cate open up like this, because it flooded him with memories of what they’d had when they were younger.
Before she’d stopped believing him.
When they’d had that last fight—when she’d asked him for the truth—Luc had told her he’d never cheated in any way, shape or form. But when she’d pushed him, needing more information that he didn’t have to give, he’d snapped.
Nothing messed with him like when people didn’t take him at his word. It had happened in high school. A group of teens had vandalized the school. Yes, his buddies had been involved. No, he hadn’t been. Yet, somehow, even his own parents hadn’t believed him. Luc had looked them straight in the eyes and told them the truth—that he’d been at home in bed. He could understand the story sounding fake, but it hadn’t been. But they’d trusted someone on the school staff—an eyewitness who placed him at the scene of the vandalism—instead of him. And he’d been forced to do community service with the guys who had caused trouble.
Ever since then, not being believed was his greatest aggravation. When Cate had done the same thing to him, despite him telling her nothing but the truth, something in him had hardened. Cracked and bled.
He’d been done. That was why he’d run and never let himself look back, though the temptation had been strong to call Cate the morning after they’d fought. To make everything right again.
But it hadn’t been any old argument. Not to him.
Not one part of Luc had wanted to walk away from Cate, but he’d made himself. How could they have continued a relationship when she didn’t trust him?
Bruised and limping, he’d gone back to the ranch. Soon after, his parents had needed to move for his mom’s health, and he and his sisters had taken over.
And he’d been fine. For the most part. Until Cate had shown up with Ruby.
But now he couldn’t avoid Cate’s lack of trust. They had Ruby, and they had to deal with each other. The question was, how? Today showed that the way they’d been functioning wasn’t working.
Cate hopped down from the kitchen counter that held them both, and Luc’s breath hitched. Was she going to take off? End their conversation? Because he wasn’t done yet.
She grabbed her plate, then his, heading for the industrial sink.
His shoulders relaxed. “I’ll do that.”
She waved one hand, her back to him. “Strangely enough, I like washing dishes.”
“I’m not going to argue with that.” He didn’t know if she smiled or not, and curiosity inch
ed along his spine. It was easier when he could read her. If he could manage to.
She pulled down the sprayer and squeezed the handle, the water making a zinging noise as it hit the dishes and stainless-steel sink.
“Cate, we have to figure out how to get along.” The water momentarily stopped. “For Ruby’s sake.” Back visibly unknotting, she went back to cleaning—squirting dish soap and using the sponge resting near the edge of the sink. “I want you to let me into your lives. It doesn’t work for our relationship to be just about Ruby. I mean, yes, that’s the focus, but we can’t hold each other back with steel rods. She’ll figure out soon enough that we can’t get along. It won’t work. Not in the long haul. We have to parent together.”
It was almost easier to talk to Cate with her back turned. But at the same time, he’d give good money to see her face. During his speech, she’d continued scrubbing one of the little plates as if it was covered in hardened cement she needed to scrape free. Finally, she put both plates in the metal drying rack to the side of the sink and turned to face him.
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want in. I want permission to have Ruby, to let her go off with Emma or Mackenzie or me without thinking you’re going to come after me with a pitchfork. I want the chance to be her dad and have the responsibility and freedom that comes with it. And I’d like us to be on the same team.”
Luc held his breath while Cate processed, letting it out in a gush of air when she outlasted him.
She lifted her thumbnail to her mouth, then ripped it back out. “Okay. I hear you, and you’re right. I have been holding you back. So I’ll stop, and we’ll parent together.” A flash of pain crossed her face, followed by a look of determination. “We can manage that, can’t we?”
Luc pushed off the counter and stood. “I think we can.”
Doubt and concern swirled in her pretty brown eyes, and he resisted the urge to reach out, tuck her into his chest and just hold on. Would it heal something between them if he breached the gap of hurt that separated them?
If only it were that simple.
Cate slid the brownie tray back into its spot on the shelf, and Luc dried their plates and put them away. They faced each other again, both leaning against a counter.
A lock of hair tumbled across Cate’s face, and she tucked it behind her ear. “So, does this mean I get to make all of the decisions, and as long as I talk to you about them first, you have to agree?”
“No.” Funny girl. “If anything, it should be the other way around.”
Her nose wrinkled. “I don’t really see that happening.”
“I don’t, either.” A chuckle vibrated his chest. He’d take humor over fighting any day.
They walked through the dining room and into the lobby area of the lodge. Luc had always found it a comforting place. Large, overstuffed leather couches and chairs. A fire burning on cool evenings.
Cate paused by the front door. “I meant to tell you Ruby’s day care called, and they’re going to refund part of the month. They found someone who needed a temporary spot while they’re on a waiting list. I know you said you’d pay for it in order for her to be here, but now you don’t have to. It’s nice. Between that and the meals being provided, I’m actually saving money.” She looked surprised by her own admission.
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” He still didn’t know how Cate had scraped by as a single mom. She must have worked incredibly hard to stay afloat. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, too.”
She waited for him to continue, but nerves got tangled up, congregating in his throat. What in the world? It was just Cate he was talking to. Just the mother of his child. First and only woman he’d ever loved. He didn’t need to be so skittish around her. But she messed with him in a way no one else did.
Plus, he didn’t think she’d take what he had to say very well.
“I have some money set aside, and I want you to have it.”
Confusion wrinkled her normally smooth complexion. She blinked. “For what?”
“For Ruby. For you. All of this time you’ve raised her on your own without any help. That’s not right. I would have—” He clamped his jaw shut to keep from saying he would have been there for Ruby and supported her. It was true, but now that they’d both declared a truce, Luc didn’t want to cause a rift in the new peace they’d found.
He might never fully understand the choice Cate had made, but he had to find a way to move beyond it. For all of their sakes.
“I want to help out. I want to be part of taking care of her. So I am going to give you what I have.” He wished it could be more, but while he lived comfortably and contentedly, he wasn’t a millionaire by any means.
They’d have to figure out better logistics going forward, but he wasn’t ready to deal with the thought of Ruby and Cate leaving the ranch at the end of the month.
“I didn’t find you because I was looking for money.” She searched his face as if scavenging for the meaning behind his offer.
“I know.”
“Ruby and I have always done okay.”
“I’m not saying you haven’t. But are you telling me there’s not a pile of medical bills filling your mailbox? Or that there won’t be shortly?”
The scuffed wood floor beneath their feet caught and held Cate’s attention.
Luc gently nudged her chin up so their eyes met. “Give me this, at least. Let me do this.” Then it would feel like he was doing something. Cate made mothering look so easy, Luc feared she really didn’t need him. And the past few years had proved she didn’t.
A group of guests walked by the front door, the hum of their conversation trickling into the lodge.
“Well?” he questioned when their voices faded.
Her hands momentarily rose in defeat. “I want to say no, but I don’t think you’re going to let me.”
“I’m not.”
She waited one beat. Two. Three. A faint smile sprouted. “Okay, Lucas. You win.”
When she looked at him that way—with softness instead of a crisp outer shell, his full name falling from her mouth like silk—Luc couldn’t help feeling like he had just won. It was the first time he truly had hope that a second chance—for their daughter—was an actual possibility.
Chapter Eight
“Daddy, watch!” Ruby held on to the back of Molly, the ranch’s black Lab, and squeezed for all she was worth. Thankfully, Molly had the sweetest temperament of any dog on planet Earth and barely blinked an eye. “Molly likes to give me huggles.”
“That’s great. Good job.” Luc wasn’t sure whether he was saying it to his daughter or the dog.
The Saturday afternoon sun beat down on them, and Luc removed his hat and swiped his brow before plunking it back on his head. He should probably throw some sunscreen on Ruby, though they’d only been outside the lodge for a few minutes.
Cate had trained him to apply the stuff whenever there was even the slightest chance the sun would come into contact with Ruby’s fair skin. As a kid, Luc hadn’t thought twice about sunscreen. And he’d spent as much of his childhood as possible outdoors. Had they even made it back then? He recalled his sister Emma using baby oil to gain a tan. That had not ended well.
“Sit, Molly.” Ruby wagged a finger, and Molly’s rump hit the ground. The dog gave Luc a look as if to say, How long do I have to do this? I’d better get a treat.
Molly knew exactly where the dog bones were kept—in an old metal milk can on the front porch of the lodge—and if Luc wasn’t mistaken, she was repeatedly stealing glances in that direction.
“I did it.” Ruby’s hands flew into the air in celebration, as if Molly had never performed a trick before in her life.
“See if you can get her to roll over. You can get her a treat.”
Ruby clapped in excitement, and Molly’s soft ea
rs perked with interest. Fast as her little legs could go, Ruby ran onto the porch, uncovered the bin and snagged a bone. She ran back to Molly just as Joe pulled up to the front steps with a pickup full of food.
The small grocery store in town ordered some of their supplies so the money could stay local. Joe or one of the kitchen staff usually picked up a load after the guests left on Saturday mornings. What they couldn’t supply was delivered by refrigerated truck.
Luc popped the tailgate down as Joe eased out of the truck slowly, nursing his bad hip. Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, he swiped the beads of sweat from his midnight forehead.
“Thanks for the help.” He nodded at Luc. “Guess I have to forgive you for stealing brownies from my pan. Just like when you were a kid.” Joe punctuated the sentence with a rumbling chuckle. He might talk big, but no one actually believed his threats.
Dad had hired Joe when Luc was a boy, and he’d been a part of their extended ranch family ever since.
“Does that mean I should just ignore the fact that you’ve been sneaking my daughter treats? How do you think her mother would feel about that?”
Not happy. Cate had rules about the number of desserts Ruby could have in a day. But Molly wasn’t the only one who knew where to find treats. Ruby had quickly figured out the head chef had a soft spot for her, and she’d happily taken advantage.
Joe harrumphed. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Luc laughed.
The man attempted to straighten the fingers of his left hand, but arthritis had locked them into a painful-looking position. Well into his sixties, he was unwilling to give up his job. Said it kept him going. But the body didn’t always agree with the mind. Joe had assistants in the kitchen for all of his chopping and food prep, but Luc wasn’t sure if he actually used them or if he still did that kind of painful detail work himself. Joe had been born without an off switch.
“I’ll get this.” Luc nodded toward the truck. “Your arthritis will be killing you if you carry any of this.”
Joe looked like he was about to argue, but finally nodded. “Thanks. Appreciate it.” He ambled up the stairs and disappeared into the lodge as Mackenzie bounded down the steps.