by Jill Lynn
Luc didn’t have the same ability. It had taken everything in him not to say something more to her. But what? Her response to his explanation on Sunday morning had been to storm out of his office. Had she even heard him say he loved her? She’d certainly never acknowledged his declaration.
Mackenzie braced hands on her hips, stance wide. “Have you heard from Cate?”
Only in email. She’d sent him new logo options for the ranch, of all things. Their arrival in his inbox had sent his pulse skyrocketing, making him wonder if she’d changed her mind. Until he’d realized it was all business.
Choose one. Let me know. I can tweak it.
That had been it.
The funny part was, the first logo was perfect. She’d captured the feel of the ranch, yet she didn’t want to be anywhere near it or him.
Go figure.
He retrieved a box of shells that had tumbled to the grass and tossed it into the plastic bin on the tailgate. “Why do you care? You never liked her anyway.”
“Not true. I took my time getting to know her. Didn’t trust her at first.”
“And now?”
“She’s grown on me. Probably stemming from the fact that she and Ruby make you happy. Believe it or not, I want that for you.”
Luc let out a half grunt, half laugh. “Well, you’re going to have to deal with a brother who’s not all sunshine and rainbows, because Cate wants nothing to do with me.”
“That’s not what I gathered when she showed up on our step Sunday morning.”
Before everything had imploded into a fiery mess. “Then your detective skills are wrong.” Last time Luc had fought with Cate, he’d been young and angry. Now, in the course of four years, he felt old and worn. Sadness hung around him. Despair permeated his body. They’d done this one too many times. She’d chosen not to trust him one too many times. How could he overlook that?
“You do realize that I know you’re upset, right? It’s not like I can just turn off the twin connection when you’re being annoying.”
A sigh leaked from his chest. “Just give me some space. I’ll get over her again. It just takes time.” Unfortunately, he knew from experience.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why get over her? You two are connected by Ruby. But I think there’s more than that to what you have.”
He’d thought so, too. Luc had been positive he and Cate had earned their second chance over the past month.
“The two of you will always be in each other’s lives because of your daughter. So what do you want that relationship to look like?”
Mackenzie’s question strangled him. Like a family. That was what he wanted. But he couldn’t just ignore the fact that Cate had once again tossed him into the gutter. How could a relationship be built on that?
“The way I see it, you can spend the rest of your life fighting with her, or for her.”
Luc’s jaw unhinged. “Are you seriously giving me dating advice? Love advice? You, who hasn’t—”
“Lucas Wilder, we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. Don’t change the subject.” Mackenzie’s don’t mess with me expression told Luc he didn’t stand a chance of winning this argument.
“Fine. You’re right. I’m wrong. Are we done now?”
Her exaggerated groan cut into the air as Luc spotted Gage heading in their direction.
Great. Another person coming to poke and prod?
“I give up.” Mackenzie whirled toward the lodge and shoved a finger at Gage as he neared them. “You handle him. I tried.” And then she was off, her boots raising up dust, agitation and disapproval evident in every step.
“You come to yell at me, too?”
“Me? Never.” Gage retrieved a twenty-gauge shotgun from the wooden holder and loaded it.
This was Luc’s kind of conversation. He reloaded, and when both of them were ready, he flipped the trap thrower switch to On. Blasts reigned for the next few minutes as the two of them took turns demolishing orange flying targets.
Almost gave his grief a place to hold on to.
When a raindrop hit him on the forearm, Luc turned off the machine. He and Gage began packing up.
“Emma told me something went south between you and Cate, though she didn’t give me details. I’m sorry, man.” Gage didn’t add the I told you so Luc half expected to hear. “At dinner on Friday night when I saw you two together, I actually started believing you might make it work. That you were getting the do-over most people never have.” Gage paused from cleanup and tapped against his chest. “Almost made this stone heart of mine pump with blood again.”
Humor surfaced. While Gage had shut down since Nicole left, Luc was certain the man underneath all of that still existed. But it would take someone amazing to carve him back to life again.
“Cate found the paperwork. After I promised her I wouldn’t file for custody and that we’d work things out.” Luc bent to the ground, unhooking the trap shooter from the battery as another raindrop nailed his ear.
“Oh.” Gage scraped a hand along the back of his hair. “Can’t help feeling like that’s my fault.”
“It’s not. I should have just told her about it. Or thrown it away. I tried explaining that I didn’t plan to do anything with it, but she didn’t believe me.”
The churning clouds held Gage’s attention. “I always believed Nicole. I was naive. Never thought she’d do any of the things she did.” He collected shells, tossing them into the plastic trash bin. “Not to make it about me.”
“I’d rather talk about you than me.”
“So what are you going to do?” Gage snagged the other side of the thrower and they hoisted it into the back of the truck.
Luc slid it forward along with the other supplies and then slammed the tailgate shut. “Do? Nothing. Be a dad to Ruby. Try to move on.”
“Aren’t you going to go after her? Fight for your family?”
Now he sounded like Mackenzie. “Would you? Did you?” The questions came out harsher than Luc planned. But he was curious. Gage didn’t talk a lot about what had happened between him and his ex-wife.
“The difference is, I didn’t have anything left to fight for. Nicole was gone long before she actually took off. I was just holding on so tight, trying so hard to keep her, that I wouldn’t let myself see the truth. But you, on the other hand...you do have something worth fighting for. Ruby. And the fact that you love her mother—because I’m guessing that’s the case—is the best thing you could ever give her.” Gage swiped at a raindrop that landed on his forehead. “I thank God every day that Nicole and I didn’t have kids who would have to deal with our split.”
Luc hadn’t thought about it that way. He’d only been focused on loving Cate and her not returning the sentiment. But in all of Cate’s desire to protect Ruby, she’d forgotten one thing—that their daughter would benefit from the three of them being a family. Ruby would be over the moon about it. What would make her feel safer than that?
“But Cate doesn’t trust me. How do I handle that?”
“Why doesn’t she?”
Luc was about to fill Gage in on what had happened between them in the past when understanding hit him like a left hook.
Her parents.
Each had pitted her against the other when she was just a little girl. They should have protected her. Instead, they’d destroyed her ability to trust.
It wasn’t about him. It had never been about him.
“Her parents broke her heart, I think.” And then he’d come along and done the same. Twice.
Cate struggled with believing him, but it wasn’t because he was untrustworthy—though that was how she’d made him feel. It was because the very people who should have adored her had done the opposite. They’d been focused on themselves.
In Cate’s world, love had to
be earned. It wasn’t freely given. She didn’t believe that anyone could love her unconditionally. But Luc wanted to be the one to prove her theory wrong.
He already loved her that way. Just because she’d moved back to Denver with Ruby didn’t mean he’d stopped. It had just been laced with hurt and confusion the past few days.
But now, thanks to Gage—and maybe with slight credit to Mackenzie—he knew exactly what he wanted. He just had to figure out how to get it.
* * *
“When are we going back to the ranch, Mommy?”
Six days of the same question from Ruby. Each time Cate answered in a high-fructose corn-syrup tone. Fake. Overly sweet. Trying for patience with everything in her.
“I’m not, sweetie. We’re going to live here in our apartment, remember? But your dad’s going to pick you up for a sleepover in a little bit. So you’ll go to the ranch sometimes, when he has you.”
“Why aren’t you going?” Ruby’s tiny brow crinkled with the innocent question.
“Because Mommy has work to do.” Her favorite fallback. Cate should do something today besides work—go somewhere, be with friends. But she didn’t have the energy. “You’ll have a good time with your dad.”
The one friend she had been communicating with—surprisingly enough—was Emma. Cate had received a text from her on Sunday night, a few hours after she and Ruby had left the ranch.
Just wanted to make sure you got home okay. We miss you both already.
Cate wasn’t sure who the “we” referred to, but she was confident it wasn’t Luc. Not after how things had ended between them. But Emma had been sweet to include Cate in that second part.
She’d responded, and they’d texted every day since.
Luc, on the other hand, had only contacted Cate once this week. He’d texted to tell her that he’d pick up Ruby this morning. That had been it. He hadn’t even responded to the email she’d sent with logo options for the ranch.
The whole situation was eerily similar to the last time they’d fought.
During the week, Cate had gone over and over what Luc had said in his office on Sunday. But when the desire to believe his explanation surfaced, she snuffed it out.
She just...couldn’t. Not when she’d seen the proof.
It was better to nip things between her and Luc now, before they got too out of hand. Before she was crushed beyond repair.
Oh, wait. Too late for that.
Cate had hoped they could salvage things for Ruby and prevent her from getting hurt, but that ship had also sailed. Ruby had really struggled this week, whining and crying at the slightest things.
So much for Cate’s plan to keep her daughter safe. Unaffected. Protected and loved.
Ruby’s lower lip protruded. “I want you to come.”
“You don’t need me, sweets. Your dad will take great care of you.” The truth of those statements pricked like a needle. Luc was fantastic with Ruby. Especially for having come into fatherhood years into her little life. Cate might not be happy about what he’d done with the custody stuff, but she could give him that.
Right before leaving the ranch, Cate had given Luc a schedule of times for keeping Ruby. He’d said they worked for him, and that had been the last of it.
So far. But he could still choose to file for custody. What reason did he have not to now?
“I don’t want to go to Ms. Betty’s house anymore, Mommy.”
Cate swallowed the groan begging for escape. She didn’t know what to do with this new Ruby. The girl had always adored day care. People. Anything new. But since they’d been back and she’d returned to Betty’s on Tuesday, Ruby had been full of complaints and stomachaches. She’d tried every excuse to stay home: My tongue feels silly. I can’t find my bear. The horses at the ranch need me.
So far Cate had been conveniently blaming Luc for Ruby’s angst. If he hadn’t convinced them to live at the ranch, Ruby wouldn’t know that other life existed. She wouldn’t have fallen in love with the freedom, the place and the people.
“Let’s not think about Ms. Betty’s today. You have two days off.”
Luc was planning to keep Ruby until after church on Sunday. At that point they’d meet up to exchange her.
A knock sounded at the door, and Cate checked the peephole. Luc. Already? Thankfully, she’d changed out of pajamas and into a light blue T-shirt and capris this morning. She opened it. “Hey, you’re—”
“Early. I know.” He didn’t even have the decency to look chagrined. Luc strode into the living room as Cate’s mouth fell open. She hadn’t even invited him in! He could go wait in his truck.
Only...he had insisted on driving all the way here to pick up Ruby. And he hadn’t fussed about the schedule she’d suggested. She should probably count those as victories and not stick a broom handle into a hornet’s nest.
The door slipped from her fingertips, closing just as Ruby flew into Luc’s arms, their embrace reminiscent of years of separation.
“I missed you this week, Rube-i-cube.”
“I miss-ded you, too, Daddy.”
Cate blinked away moisture. Now was not the time to break down.
Luc lowered Ruby to the carpet. “Why don’t you grab your stuff, okay?”
“Okay!” She took off for her room.
Sitting on the couch, Luc stretched long legs in front of him, acting like he owned the place. “So, Cate, how’ve you been?”
“Fine.” The word snapped out, nowhere near the truth.
“Good for you. How have I been? So nice of you to ask. Not fine, actually.” She couldn’t decipher the message that radiated from his stormy eyes. “Here.” He shifted to retrieve something from his back pocket. Held a white envelope toward her.
Cate’s knees swirled, fear stirring her emotions into a tornado-like spin. What was in the envelope? Was he planning to file and telling her up front?
Please no. Ruby deserves better from us. God, I’m begging. They might have to share her, but they didn’t have to fight over her.
“What...what is that?”
“Something from Gage.”
Gage? That didn’t give her peace of mind. She took it but made no move to open it.
Luc stood and crossed over to her, stopping only when he’d invaded her personal space. Fresh-air scent clung to his clothes, and Cate resisted swaying closer to breathe him in.
She’d missed him this week. The thought came without permission. When would she get a handle on the emotions Luc had reignited in her over the past month?
“You really don’t believe me, do you? Do you think that’s about custody?” He pointed to the envelope.
She looked to the floor, attempting to hide the truth, but her resolve weakened. “Yes.” She wanted to scream it, distress bubbling to the surface.
“It’s not.” Luc’s hands fisted. “I said it on Sunday and I’ll say it again. I love you, Cate.” His voice had dropped low, probably so that Ruby wouldn’t hear, but the effect registered even stronger. Her bones reverberated with the intensity. “I was never going to file for custody. I agreed to your dates. They work for me, so I’m still not going to. You asked me not to battle over Ruby, and I plan to honor that.”
He edged closer, and even though Cate wanted to step back, she didn’t. Part of her was drawn to him. Unable to move.
“Last time I fought with you, not for you. And I’m not going to make that mistake again.” His finger bounced between them. “We’re nowhere near through, just so you know.”
Could a person’s lungs deflate from sheer shock? Because hers were no longer functioning.
“I don’t know what it’s going to take to prove that I love you and that I’m never going to stop. When we were younger, I let anger win. Not this time. I want the three of us to be a family, and I’m going to keep fighting for you. For us. Until you know you c
an trust me. Because you can.”
“I’m ready, Daddy!” Ruby bounded out into the living room, and Luc took a step back. Still wasn’t enough space to calm Cate’s ricocheting nerves, but she’d take it.
Ruby listed through the things in her bag, but Cate’s mind was spinning too fast to manage a coherent thought. Plus, she’d already packed Ruby’s stuff for her. So as long as she wasn’t removing things, it should be fine.
“Sounds perfect, sweets.” Her voice came out surprisingly even.
“Don’t forget Boo-boo bear,” Luc added, and Ruby disappeared down the hallway and into her bedroom.
“Then what’s in this?” Cate held up the envelope.
“Gage’s testimony. About what I said when he dropped off the papers. That I never planned to do anything with them. I thought it might help if you had someone to back my side of the story.”
Cate needed time to process. To deal with everything Luc was throwing at her.
“Got him! Boo-boo was sad I almost left him, but I gave him a smooch and made it all better.” Ruby’s arms wrapped around Cate’s legs. “I love you, Mommy.” Her sadness from earlier had been replaced with excitement, and Cate wasn’t going to ruin that for her. She caught her daughter in a big hug and said goodbye.
As Luc pulled the door shut behind them, his hazel eyes held hers until the last second, saying everything she wanted to hear but fought believing.
At the click of the knob, she dropped onto the sofa, head falling into her hands, and did the only thing she knew to do.
She prayed.
Chapter Sixteen
“I’m so glad you called.” Emma slid into the booth across from Cate at the small café located about halfway between the ranch and Cate’s apartment.
“Really? I keep thinking you’re going to cut me off because Luc and I...” Cate wasn’t sure exactly how to finish that sentence. Fought? Couldn’t get on the same page?
It was more that she couldn’t trust him. Anyone, for that matter.
“Nah. If I had to pick between the two of you, I’d probably choose you.”