by Keta Kendric
The huge bathroom had a sitting area adorned with a comfortable armless leather chair that sat against the wall. Arjen tugged me and my coiled tension along as he took the seat. When he drew me into his lap, setting me across his muscular thighs, I didn’t have the strength to protest. The war of sorrow and anger that raged inside me had weakened me to the point of submission.
“You have to calm down, Mecca? You’re going to make yourself sick. I can’t stand seeing you like this. What’s wrong? Is there someone I need to kill? I’ll be happy to start with Marshawn.”
His comment about Marshawn caused me to smile and release some of my tension. Although I had learned how to swallow it, an unrelenting sadness had my heart hanging heavily in my chest.
Arjen drew me in closer, rubbing his big hand up and down my back, the other sat across my legs, holding me in place. His fresh breath kissed my cheek and brushed my lips whenever he spoke.
“There’s no one you need to kill. I’m stressed, and PMSing. The emotional overload is kicking my ass. I hate it, but it happens.”
Although it had taken me most of my adult life not to equate embracing your emotions, specifically sorrow, to weakness, I still fought the urge to allow it to creep into my heart.
Arjen shook his head. “You’re a Vallin. If there’s something stressing you out, I need to know about it so I can help you take care of it.”
The stress weighing me down caused everything to feel heavy, so it took me a moment to lift my head and meet his gaze.
“You’d help me?”
He squeezed me to his chest, stressing his words. “Of course I would. I’m your husband. It’s my job to help you.”
Was he telling me what I wanted to hear, or were his intentions genuine? I wasn’t used to help being so freely offered to me.
“You’d help me, even if it’s a problem that I believe is my burden to bear?”
“Your burdens are my burdens now. If I can do anything to help you, I want you to let me know.”
He placed a finger under my chin and lifted, making sure I got the full depth of his serious glare.
“Tell me. What’s got you stressed? How can I help?”
Reluctance kept me quiet. The last thing I wanted to do was run to my husband when I couldn’t solve a problem.
“There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. You can’t solve every problem on your own. Everyone needs help from time to time, even me,” he stated. As much as my ego was yelling for me to hold out a little longer, I ignored it and accepted the fact that my ass needed help.
“I assumed I had done well with savings in case something went wrong. I gave two million as a show of good faith four days ago to the Cardenas Cartel, unaware that Raymond owed the cartel for not only the last shipment, but half the money on the one before that. Fifteen million. Plus there is the matter of the ten million you had to pay to get Desiree back from the FA. I have five million, but it’s a third of what I need to set things right.”
“You have five million dollars?” he asked.
A surge of energy quickened my pulse and swelled in my heart at the sight of the apparent pride resting in his smile and shining in his expression at the notion that I had that kind of money.
“Yes, and I could raise another two million if I liquidated some assets. If I was clued into what Raymond was up to, I’d have been better prepared financially.”
Desiree had pointed me to another two million, but I didn’t want to break the bank in case something else popped up.
As far as I knew, only me and Khane knew that Desiree was the Bookkeeper, and if Arjen knew, he had never said anything. Desiree knew secrets that could get her killed. Some that I wouldn’t allow her to tell even to me, as they were extra security blankets for the organization.
“The fact that you have that much money and can get more is impressive. I have not met many people who can get their hands on five hundred thousand, and you can pull nine million. That’s a big deal.”
The pride that flashed in his eyes made the blue and the grey melt into a beautiful shimmering lighter blue that brightened his face. I wasn’t aware of how much I would appreciate his praise until he had given it.
His display of genuine pride was a gesture that had never been bestowed on me from any man, certainly not Raymond. Raymond didn’t know I had a dime, and considering his gambling addiction, I had been smart not to tell him.
“I’ll give you the money to straighten things out,” Arjen stated, matter-of-factly like ten million dollars was nothing. His words had stilled me, and I didn’t know how to feel.
“Just like that. You’re going to give me ten million dollars?”
How rich was my husband?
“Of course. If you fail. I fail. You succeed. I succeed. And the ten million for your cousin, Khane has already taken care of that.”
A smile rested on my lips at the notion that things may work out for the best. Was this what Corvel was hinting at when he suggested that the answer to my problem was a breath away? And Khane must have been as well-off as my husband. The news about him taking care of my cousin put an extra spark of joy in my heart.
“Give me a few months, and you’ll have it all back,” I promised.
“I know. If there is one thing I know about you, you’re a woman of your word. You are also an impressively hard worker who will stop at nothing to reach whatever goal you’ve set. I admire that about you.”
My arms were around his neck before I could stop myself. “Thank you,” I whispered, sending the warmth of my breath against his neck. Instead of letting go, my eyes fell closed, and I relaxed into the tight embrace he returned, folding me into his chest.
Emotions that I had never experienced sped up my heart rate, making the pounding beat vibrate against my chest plate. The telling sensations had sprang up so fast, they threatened to choke me as I sucked in quick choppy breaths.
The big muscles in Arjen’s arms and legs and his strong chest all flexed against me, letting me feel every bit of his caress. Loosening my grip on him, I intended to back away, but he refused to relax the tight hold he had on me.
“Wait a bit longer, you need this,” he stated in a low calm tone. He wasn’t being arrogant or demanding, he simply wanted to give me what I needed.
Not having a mother or a father, but stuck with Raymond, who was only concerned with teaching me the ways of the street, had made me tough. The tough personality trait had also made me empty in a way that I had difficulty bonding with people.
I hugged Desiree all the time, but it wasn’t the same as the kind of hug that you desired from someone you cared about that wasn’t family. Nor was it the same as the hug you received from a mother or father. Nothing had ever been like the hug I was currently receiving from my husband.
This was the kind of hug that shut the rest of the world out and let you know that everything would be all right even as the world was falling apart.
“No one has held you this way before?” he questioned, his words whispering across my cheek to find my ear.
“No,” bubbled up from my clogged throat, and I suddenly grew tense. I had revealed too much. He didn’t need to know how truly emotionally empty my life was.
“Me either. I have never had this either,” he admitted.
I drew back and stared, but the knowing in his gaze mirrored mine. It was difficult to believe he had confessed such a delicate thing, but I was grateful he had. I reclaimed my position, snuggling into the warmth of his caress before tightening my hold on him.
“Except for Desiree, you’re the only other person that has been proud of me for something.”
He kissed the top of my hair.
“Same here. My brother has been the only one proud of me. But, I don’t believe we’ll have those kinds of problems anymore. We can be proud of each other now.”
We had to have been the two most unloved souls on the planet. It was refreshing to know that I wasn’t as alone as I had assumed. I was sure that I was broken due
to the severe lack of love I had received growing up. Sitting and holding on to Arjen was a reminder that I wasn’t a lost cause.
For the first time in my life, I allowed myself to enjoy being held. When people say a person looks like they need a hug, I was now realizing, it wasn’t just a saying. I believed I needed every bit of the hug Arjen was giving me as much as he needed it from me.
I nuzzled into the warm comfort of his neck as the rest of me melted into him, all while inhaling his fresh scent.
Why was my damn heart beating so fast? Why couldn’t I control my breathing? Why were his actions mirroring mine? Did this make us a couple? At my age, I should have known the answer to every question, but I was in unknown territory. My dominating nature would take over and I had never allowed anyone to get close enough to venture to this place.
When Arjen finally eased back, I intended to stand, grateful for the session we’d had because it was like therapy. However, I didn’t know how to process the pulling tension that urged me to cling to him.
My escape from the engulfing sensations were thwarted when he kept me in place on his lap. His strong arms had loosened but remained around me. I could sense his eyes on the side of my head, so I lifted my head and met his gaze.
“I need you to know that you’re not alone. Don’t think that you can’t come to me for anything. You can. Don’t think that I wouldn’t help you with anything because I will. You’re my wife, Mecca. We may not have a conventional marriage, but I do believe it is my job to make you happy and to keep you safe.”
During the time that he’d been speaking his wonderful words, the lump in my throat was steadily growing.
“Thank you,” I choked out, unsure of what to say. Since it had never been freely given, I didn’t know how to accept the kind of help and support he was offering.
“I’ll do my best to make you proud of me,” I muttered in a low tone.
Based on the things he was saying, he was treating us like a couple. Was he aiming for us to be the real deal? I assumed he just wanted sex, but it seemed my husband was aiming to take this thing all the way.
What the hell did I know about being someone’s wife, when I had never even mastered the title of girlfriend. I wasn’t even a good fuck-buddy.
“Arjen,” I called. I bit into my smile at his reaction, understanding the quick smile that raced across his lips was from me calling him by his name, for what I believed was the first time. His lovely smile lured me in, causing me to toss away my present train of thought.
The awareness flowing between us, and the strength of his penetrating connection made the hairs on my neck and arms bristle and sway in his direction. His scent had me taking deep, noticeable breaths, my chest bobbing about like a small animal was trapped inside.
“Yes, love,” he finally answered me in the midst of our moment of intense connection.
“I think I would like to reciprocate your offer and be there for you, but I don’t believe I know how. I have never even had a longtime boyfriend. The moment a man steps out of line or does something I don’t like, I drop him.”
His smile deepened.
“You see, that’s the thing about being married. No matter how many times we do something the other doesn’t like, we can’t drop each other. We’ll be forced to find ways to solve our problems.”
The realization that we were stuck together, no matter what, hit home like a teasing punch to the gut. I didn’t like the depth of our conversation, but I was determined to face it. We had given more in this single moment than we had in our entire relationship.
When I attempted to ease from his lap the second time, he stopped me again, gripping the sides of my shoulders to keep me in place before leaning in and placing his lips to the back of my hair. An army of emotions marched into my heart and spread, closing my eyes and forcing me to fight for each breath. His warm breaths breezed through my hairline and swept along my neck.
His reluctance to let me go hinted that he had also fallen into the well of emotions we were trapped in. After a stilled moment that gave away my inability to confine the jittery intensity rushing through me, he released my shoulders. He didn’t move his head away from the back of mine, nor had I made the final move that would end our connection.
A stirring movement riding the wave of a warm rush caught my attention and dragged it down to my lap. I had chalked it up to nerves, but the animal moving underneath me, the one that was locked inside Arjen’s pants, hinted that my first task was to find out how to tame my husband’s beast.
After catching a glimpse at what he had whipped out of his boxer briefs and feeling it poking into the underside of my thighs, I do believe I had found my Mandingo, and he was not at all like I pictured him.
I wished I could respond to the call of his beast, but Mother Nature had my damn uterus under reconstruction and was hopefully almost done with the renovations. It took effort, but I separated myself from him and stood rooted to the spot until I forced my legs to move me towards our bedroom.
I stepped further into the unfamiliar when I climbed into bed with him. It had taken me glaring at the ceiling for a long moment and praying that I found a way to navigate my way through the unknown intricacies of a relationship before I relaxed.
Arjen draped his arm around me and pulled me into him so that his hardness pressed into my ass. The stiffness eventually lessened and his breathing became a steady rhythm that surprisingly helped sleep find its way to me. Finally, I settled into his sturdy body and allowed my mind to drift.
Could Arjen and I make it as a husband and wife, although neither of us had an ounce of relationship experience?
17
Mecca
The next day, when I informed Arjen that I would call Corvel to give him the update about the payment, he suggested I use the secret office that I wasn’t aware was attached to our bedroom. He pressed a six-digit numeric code that he made sure I memorized onto what I assumed was an expensive painting hanging on the wall. He proceeded to place my thumb to the center of the doorknob within the painting. It was a hidden scanner that appeared to be a part of the painting that captured my fingerprint. I gasped when a doorway that the picture hung on decompressed and popped open.
Arjen didn’t say a word, but smiled at my initial reaction. His sly grin deepened when I stepped into the office and stopped, taking it all in before I moved again. This office was jammed packed with enough technology to spy on, or for the government.
I knew that our house had enough hidden cameras and sensors that there wasn’t any place an intruder could hide. I also knew that there was a retinal scanner, and the doorknob captured my fingerprint in order to enter the house without setting off an alarm. I had been inside our basement that was both a security room with surveillance monitors and an armory that housed enough weapons to start a militia. However, I had no clue that Arjen had a secret spy room.
With each passing day, I was starting to realize that my husband wielded way more power than he let on or allowed me to see. He certainly had access to more technology than I could have imagined. If he truly wanted to, he could employ a way that I would never truly be out of his sight.
He left me to make my call, but it took me a while longer to soak in Arjen’s secret war room that he had given me full access to. Shaking off the shock of the new discovery, I called up Corvel, secure in the notion that no one could listen in on our call. Corvel was out of the country for a few days, so I hadn’t been able to provide him any updates.
“Hello, lovely Mecca,” he greeted cheerfully. His good-natured tone with me was never taken for granted, because I knew what he did for a living. He was Silvia Cardenas’ number two man, but he was also the head of her security, which meant that he and his team were a bunch of killers. For reasons I have yet to understand, the man liked me, and I had always been mindful not to give him a reason to change his mind.
“I’m on a secure line,” I informed, so he would know that he could speak freely.
“I w
anted to provide you a quick update on our financial situation.”
“You are a woman of your word. And I can most certainly understand why your uncle left you in charge.” he commented.
“I appreciate that. I wanted you to know that the situation will be handled, and I’ll give you the heads up on the estimated time of arrival of the transfer.”
“There’s no need unless you’re making an early payment on the next shipment. We were fully compensated the same evening you left my house. The customary thank you was sent to you. Did you not receive it?”
I had received fifteen white roses, but assumed it was a reminder instead of confirmation.
“Yes, I received it. Thank you. However, I wasn’t aware that the transfer had occurred so swiftly.”
What the fuck was happening? Was he telling me they had already received the full fifteen million we owed? I hadn’t even used the five million I had saved. I didn’t want Corvel knowing I didn’t know my shit, so I would pretend my ass off, until I figured things out.
“All is well, my dear. You will be ready for your new shipment. Yes?”
“Yes. I’ll be there personally. Have a good day. Thanks again.”
“My pleasure. I’ll send you the location details tomorrow. See you later.”
“Husband!” I yelled after tearing out of the office. My legs couldn’t move me fast enough.
A muffled, “Yes,” and the ruffling of clothes sounded the closer I got to him.
The words I had prepared got stuck, and my mouth fell open at the sight of him in nothing but boxer briefs. Jesus. The man was sinfully hot, and he knew it. With his shirt in his hand, he made no attempt to put it on while I gawked. My mind finally decided to connect with my tongue after I had gotten an eye full.
“I was on the phone with Corvel, my connect, and the conversation we had led me to believe that they have already been paid in full. He’s ready to release our next shipment.”
A sneaky smile spread across his face.