Day three at the hotel and a few more hundred messages from Tony later and I actually wanted to go home. I was still angry at him but I missed him. I told myself that when I went home I would keep my guard up and only focus on what I had to do to move my daughter and me away from Tony. He wasn’t going to be playing me and thinking he could get away with it. If it were that easy, he would do like any other nigga would, continue to fuck with both of us thinking that all he would have to do was say sorry and I would keep forgiving him once he got caught.
I packed up all of our clothes at the hotel and we headed home. Tony’s car was in the driveway so I knew that I was about to be interrogated as soon as I got in the house. I opened the door and my daughter dashed past me and flew to her father’s arms. He bent down to embrace her hugging her as if he hadn’t seen her in years.
“How’s my little Mama doing? Daddy missed you, where have you been?”
“We were at the--”
I immediately intervened.
“Shayonna, go upstairs to your room and let me talk to your daddy for a second.”
Tony glanced at me curiously and my daughter looked at us both strangely and went upstairs, she was still unaware of what was going on between us.
“So where were you? I know you got my messages, how you gonna leave like that Tiara? That shit ain’t cool.” His words were as arrogant as usual.
“Why do you think I left Tony? Don’t play dumb.” I threw my keys on the counter and we both looked at each other in an awkward silence.
“Were you able to be with your little girlfriend during your free time away from me?” I asked.
He walked over to me, butterflies danced in my stomach because I thought that he was going to lash out on me and bring out the cockiness he used to set his business partners straight. Those situations were never pretty. Instead, he held my hand and got on one knee. He looked up at me and pointed to my ring.
“Do you know why I gave you this?” He said staring directly into my eyes.
“I gave you this ring because you are who I want to spend the rest of my life with.” His eyes began to gloss and tears started falling from them.
I didn’t know if it was an act to get me back or if it was sincere. Niggas went to drastic measures like crying crocodile tears to make their girls think that they were sincere so I kept my game face on for as long as I could.
“You and my daughter are my world. I may have fucked up but nobody’s perfect. I’m manning up and letting you know that I made a mistake and I would never, ever, break your heart again. The three days that you were gone felt like eternity, it felt like someone was choking me and when y’all came walking through that door, I could breathe again. You’re my Queen Tiara, my rock, my better half. I love you more than words can say.”
My eyes watered and my tough act faded away. I missed him so much, he was my everything and it actually hurt to see him hurting. But I knew that he deserved every fuckin’ tear that he cried. He deserved to be hurt, punished and dismissed. But on the other hand, he was manning up, so maybe it was okay to give him a second chance. Seeing such a dominant man like Tony crying always seemed sincere.
And if it wasn’t, I was surely about to find out.
Chapter Four – Too Many Lies
I found myself spending day and night thinking of ways to please Tony. I went to Copley and splurged at Victoria Secret buying every kind of lingerie they had. Tony loved me in thongs so I wore a different color and different style thong every night. I started role playing buying kitty cat and nursing outfits stripping down to nothing to keep it spicy in the bedroom.
He loved the nurse outfit the best because he would play my sick thug who was hurting in every place that he wanted me to put my mouth on. I mean, I gave this man all of me. I even bought a stripper pole and danced exotically for Tony to various R&B songs, I was going all out. One night him and I went to a strip club together in Providence and I recorded all of the stripper’s dance moves in my mind so that I could put on even hotter shows at home for Tony. I sat confident with him in the strip club and was okay with them big booty bitches shaking their ass in front of him, it was cool because he was coming home with me.
We recorded ourselves making love in different positions. Sometimes we’d record ourselves having wild, crazy, porn star sex on every piece of furniture in our bedroom including the floor.
He purchased a Polaroid camera and took pictures of each and every one of my body parts and I posed for them all as if he were a professional photographer. I did everything to keep Tony anticipating making love to me. I tried to make sure to satisfy his every desire. I even went against the grain and gave him some dookey love. Yes, I let him stick it in my ass.
We connected sexually and mentally and it felt like we were closer than ever before. It’s funny how cheating can make both parties realize their love for one another. Tony was mine and the fact that I forgave him made me even more territorial over him.
We signed my daughter up for a new advanced dance school and we attended all of her shows together. We were the perfect family again, everything seemed to go accordingly and Shayonna loved having us all together.
I sometimes questioned why I was going all out to please him since he was the one that fucked up, but I just figured that a woman was supposed to please her man in all forms anyway. I kept myself in check about checking Tony’s phone. If I was going to start to trust him again I had to at least try to do it a hundred percent. That was until I noticed that he started having late meetings again and too many club nights out with Shawn.
My phone rang around one in the morning on a Saturday. I was up folding clothes and Shayonna was already in bed sound asleep.
“Hello?” I answered.
“T, where is Tony?”
“Renee, I can’t hear you with all that music in the background.”
“Can you hear me now Tiara?”
“Yeah I can hear you.”
“I was asking you where Tony was.”
“Renee why are you asking me where my man is? He went to the club with Shawn, why?”
“That muthafucka went to the club alright. Girl I’m at the club right now and I just saw him and Shawn’s black ass leaving out with Ashley and some other bitch.”
I was hoping that Renee was mistaken and that maybe she had saw him leaving with a cousin of his or something; he just couldn’t be doing this bullshit to me again. I threw the article of clothing that I was about to fold back into the basket and sat on my bed. It felt like my heart was beating through my shirt.
“Are you sure it was Ashley?”
“Oh trust me, it was Ashley, the DJ sent her a Happy Birthday shout out a little while ago and her funny looking ass was letting it be known that it was her birthday too. She was all loud and sloppy and shit. That’s how I spotted Tony and Shawn, they were with them in the VIP booth and after a while they got up and bounced.
“So where are they now?” I asked.
“Girl they drove off, I’m out here with my cousin Kathy, when I seen them leaving I tried to follow them outside but it was too late. You know I had no problems with snatching that bitch up if I would’ve caught up to them. And I would have checked Tony’s ass for you too.”
I didn’t know what else to say to Renee because once again I was embarrassed. What I needed to do at that point was speak to Tony’s bitch ass ASAP.
“A’ight Renee good looking out, I’ll call you later, I’m about to call his ass right now.
“A’ight, one!”
I hung up with Renee fuming. Me putting in all that work for this nigga didn’t mean shit! Overly pleasing him and giving him my all and here I was, shitted on once again. I felt like it was not even worth putting my pride aside to forgive him for cheating, forgiving him for embarrassing me and forgiving him for giving another ho my love. Renee was right, a nigga is gonna be a nigga and my thoughts right now were fuck niggas, all of them!
While Tony’s phone continued to ring in my ear, I b
ecame infuriated with my own thoughts. He was really bold enough to leave the club with another bitch knowing there was bound to be people in the club that knew me and were probably happy that something shitty was happening to me. Tony was definitely gonna feel me.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Several calls later and this nigga still didn’t pick up the phone and I felt like I wanted to kill somebody. I flipped my phone closed and threw it across the room. I started pacing the room and ten thousand thoughts were rummaging through my mind. I went into our closet and started checking the pockets of all of his clothes. I was searching through some of his old jackets that he hadn’t worn in a while; I just knew that I would find something.
To my surprise, I found two condoms, some naked photos of some bitch’s body parts that weren’t mine and I officially went coo-coo. My eyes enlarged in anger staring at photo after photo of some brown skin bitch's body and I fought hard to hold in my tears but it only turned into more anger and more rage. I looked at the condoms in my hand and gritted my teeth. Tony and I didn’t wear condoms so who the fuck did he buy condoms for? I sat on my bed and let out a loud scream. I was more angry and disappointed at myself than I was with Tony. I should’ve let him go when I found out about Ashley. I gave him another chance trying to keep my family together and the shit backfired in my fuckin’ face.
I wanted to wring his fuckin’ neck. My cell phone finally rung a few minutes later; I ran over to answer it trying to fix the antenna that broke from me throwing it.
“Hello? Tony can you hear me?”
“Yeah I hear you baby, what you doing? Why you blowing up my phone?”
“Don’t ask me what I’m doing, what the fuck are you doing and who the fuck are you with?”
“T, who the fuck you talking to? Calm that shit down, you know I’m out with my man Shizz. I’m gonna be out for a few more hours, then I’ll be home.”
“Oh really, well I’m on my way to Shawn’s house to chill with y’all.”
“Yo T, what the fuck is wrong with you man? You acting crazy, we just left the club a little while ago, we ain’t even going to Shawn’s crib. But I’ma holla back at you because I don’t feel like arguing with you right now a’ight, One!”
Click!
Tony hung up the phone in my ear and I officially lost it. I called him back repeatedly and he didn’t answer the phone. I wanted to pound in his fucking head. I contemplated whether to pack my shit or his and put him the fuck out. But then I thought about it. I couldn't do no Beyoncé 'To the left, To the left' shit because the house wasn't in my name. All I could do was start balling like a baby.
This was my life, my reality. I lost myself inside Tony. In the past I would never let someone get over on me so I started to feel a bit weak. I felt like I didn’t have control over the situation and I had to do something quick. It hurt like death that someone who I loved so much was taking advantage of me. I didn’t even know this man. This wasn’t the Tony that I knew.
I checked on Shayonna to see if she was still asleep and she was still knocked out. I proceeded downstairs to wait for Tony to come home because I had some shit waiting for his ass.
Five o’clock a.m. rolled around and my ass was wide awake. I had pushed one of the kitchen chairs to the front door and sat anxiously waiting for Tony’s arrival. I had the naked photo’s scattered on the floor in front of me along with the two condoms. In my hand I held a large butcher’s knife. He was gonna give me some answers tonight.
I heard his car pulling into the driveway and I took a sip of the wine that I had been drinking all night since I’d gotten the call from Renee and I placed it back on the floor beside me. Tony stumbled in the door and looked at me.
“T, what are you doing still up?” His words slurred.
He flicked on the lights and looked down at the pictures, at the condoms and then the knife in my hand. He peeped my face, saw my nostrils flaring and the anger that had tensed my body.
“Who did you leave the club with Tony? I heard you left with that little bitch Ashley.”
Tony’s cocky ass didn’t even answer me, he pushed the chair to the side with me still seated in it and headed for the stairs.
“Man, I ain’t answering to shit.”
“Oh you ain’t answering to shit! You think this is a fuckin game, getting all cocky and tough because you got caught up.”
I headed toward Tony with the knife to my side. I wouldn’t dare stab him but I wanted him to know that I was serious. He turned around and took the knife out of my hand and threw it across the floor behind me. He grabbed me by my neck and started choking me against the wall. I was in shock but tried to fight my way out at the same time.
“Tiara, I don’t have time for this shit, I am the man in this house! I take care of you, you don’t do shit but sit around and look pretty. I told you I ain’t cheating on you, you’re starting to get on my nerves with this questioning me shit.” He let go of my neck and I began gasping for air.
“Fuck you Tony!” I said catching my breath.
“What do you mean I don’t do shit but look pretty? I run your fucking business, and handle all of your bullshit! But since I just sit and look pretty, you can be in charge of the bills and making sure the mortgage is paid on time because I ain’t doing shit for you anymore. You’re just trying to stray from the subject. You were seen leaving with that bitch point blank. There’s nothing that you can tell me to make me believe you right now. And you put your hands on me? I fuckin’ hate you!” I punched him in the face and he reacted at the same moment and shoved me against the wall. I was kind of scared because I didn’t know what else he would do, but being from the streets, I could never let someone put their hands on me and get away with it so I charged at him as if I could beat him.
“I hate you!!” I screamed pounding on his back as he tried to go upstairs.
My punches didn’t affect him, he kept walking and I stopped fighting him and went to swipe all of the pictures and condoms off the floor and I ran upstairs behind him. He had already reached our bedroom and was peeling off his clothes. He went in our bathroom and turned on the shower.
“Why are you taking a shower? You just went to the club and chilled with Shawn afterwards right? Uh huh, you fucking liar, you had your dick in some nasty bitch’s pussy, but you forgot these.” I threw both of the condoms at his face but he waved me off.
“Tiara go to bed, you’re drunk.”
“I ain’t drunk, I’m just stupid, stupid for giving your ass another chance. Matter fact, come here, let me smell your dick.”
Tony became enraged at my accusations. “Listen bitch, I told you that I don’t have time for this shit!”
I looked at Tony as if he were a stranger, it was one shock after another that night. He never called me a bitch before; he never disrespected me in all the years we were together. I was beginning to think that I never knew who the real Tony was. Or maybe he was just now showing me who he really was and hiding himself throughout the years because of my brother Trè. Now that Trè was locked up, maybe he thinks that he can start controlling me. It was either that or he was letting his money get to his head in the worst way.
“Bitch, Tony? I’ll show you a bitch!”
I picked up his Timberland boots out of the closet and aimed them at his head one at a time. I was trying to knock his head off his fuckin’ neck. He charged at me trying his best to dodge the boots that were flying toward him. He snatched me up and smacked the dog shit out of me. I held my cheek in shock.
“Yeah I knew that would shut your ass up.” He grabbed my shoulders and started shaking me.
“Tiara, nobody is cheating on you! I’m getting tired of this shit, you know how many bitches out there wish they had what you have, why don’t you realize you’re the only one that I want, these other bitches out here are nothing to me. This shit is driving me crazy, why the fuck are you so insecure, it’s beginning to turn me off.”
I yanked myself away from Tony and picked up the naked
photos that I had dropped while picking up the boots to throw.
“Insecure Tony? It has nothing to do with being insecure, it’s about what’s real, you keep getting caught. Look at these fuckin’ pictures, your dumb ass is getting too sloppy with your shit, your game ain’t tight. All these years I thought your ass was faithful but I was just dumb enough to trust you. Are these pictures of Ashley? Which one of your hoes pictures you had stashed away in the house? The same house that you share with your family muthafucka? What you want to jerk your dick off to these pictures?”
I smacked Tony and dared him to smack me back.
“Yeah,” I said. “You thought I was just gonna let you get that hit to my face and I wasn’t gonna do shit Tony?”
Tony laughed. “T, you can’t bring that fighting hood shit into our relationship, you can’t beat me. All that tough shit and smart mouth goes out the window as of now. You’re my girl, I’m the king, you have to start listening to me, all that independent shit disappears when you’re in a relationship.”
A Hood Chick's Story pt. 2 Page 5