A Hood Chick's Story pt. 2
Page 18
"Yes, she's okay, and yes they are letting her leave today," I responded.
Before she went in to see Shayonna I stopped her. "Do you mind if she rides with you back to our house?" I asked.
She smirked. "Now Tiara you know I don't mind. I'm going to take her to get some ice cream first and then we'll be right there."
"Okay perfect, thanks so much."
Tony looked at me. "Why you don't want her to ride back with one of us?"
I glared at him like he was the enemy of the state. "Because you need to meet me at the house right now because we need to talk."
"About what? We can talk now."
"Tony, let's be cordial right now and kiss Shayonna goodbye and then meet each other at the crib alright? Trust me, it's important."
Shayonna put on her jogging suit and happily let me know that she was going with her auntie to get some ice cream and I told her that I'd see her when she got home. I hugged and gave her little body a tight squeeze and then headed to the crib.
Chapter Seventeen – It’s Over
I beat Tony home.
When he got there he immediately started jumping to conclusions. "Yo T, is this about your gun, I tossed that shit in the Charlestown River, I scratched the serial numbers off of it and everything, so trust me, it will never be traced back to you."
"No, it's not about that." I handed him the paperwork from the doctor outlining the STD that he passed on to me.
He read it and then played dumb. "So what the fuck is this?"
"What the fuck do you think it is Tony?"
He shrugged. "What is it?"
"It's the disease you gave me. You been staying out all night claiming to be hustling but you’re obviously hustling inside some nasty bitch's pussy. I want to hurt you so bad right now Tony, I can't believe you burnt me."
"Whatever man, I didn't give you that shit!" He threw the papers on the floor.
"So who did Tony? I have never cheated on you, ever. I stayed faithful through good times and bad. I kept taking you back even after you cheated on me, beat me and disrespected me. I even stayed after finding some bitch's panties in our house. I loved you hard as shit Tony. And I only stayed with you this long because I appreciated you. I still appreciate the shit you did for me. I appreciate you for taking me out of the hood and showing me a life that I probably would have never known.
“But I also held you down when you were in jail. I didn't even look in another man's direction when you were locked up. I devoted myself to my daughter and you and this is how I get paid back? I kept trying to push myself to leave you Tony but it was hard because of how much I love you. And you never appreciated anything that I done for you. I was a rider for you and your business, I loved working with you. And I got repaid by being accused of only sitting around and looking pretty!
“Then when I tried to teach you a lesson and let you handle the bills so that you would see how much you needed me, you let the house go downhill. What else am I supposed to sit around and take from you Tony, huh? And now I find out that you burnt me with gonorrhea and your cocky ass is sitting there not wanting to admit it. I’m done! You'll never change. I’ve reached the end and I'm not waiting anymore, I'm leaving you now."
"Yeah a’ight. You ain't going nowhere. You try to take my daughter out that door, there is going to be problems."
"Tony, save your threats okay. You hit me for the last time once you knocked me out in the bathroom." I shot him a look. "We're done."
I left Tony sitting on the bed and went into the closet and began packing my bags. He eventually got up and went downstairs. I'm not sure if he took me serious but his cocky ass left the room without saying anything.
I was sobbing uncontrollably while stuffing my clothes in my suitcase. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I was actually leaving. This was really it for me. I was leaving the love of my life. I lugged my suitcase into the hallway and set it up against the wall. I started toward Shayonna's room when Tony stormed back up the stairs walking toward me. He pushed me up against the wall and started kissing my neck.
"You ain't leaving me Tiara, I will not let you leave.” He sucked on my neck as I tried to push him away.
"Stop Tony, seriously move."
He began feeling on my body grabbing my ass and trying to unbuckle my jeans. He groped on my breast and I pushed his hands away.
"Tony, move!"
"No! You're not leaving me." He wiped the tears from my eyes and looked at me.
"I'm sorry Tiara, I'm sorry for everything okay, we can work this out boo. Please?"
I looked at him and cried harder. "No we can't Tony, not this time."
"Yes we can baby please, Tiara give me another chance," he pleaded.
I tried not to let my soft spot for Tony overcome me and I escaped his grip.
I entered Shayonna's room and quickly stuffed all of her clothes into her suitcase.
Tony stood by the door. "You're serious. You’re really taking my daughter and leaving me?"
I didn't answer him. He watched over me as I packed my daughters belongings, her favorite doll and the picture of Sharod that she kept under her pillow. I turned around to carry her suitcase out of her room but he was blocking the door.
"Excuse me Tony."
"You ain't going nowhere." He dropped to his knees and unbuckled my pants trying to eat his way out of this.
"Tony, stop."
I yanked away from him and zipped my jeans back up. He stared in my eyes and read the seriousness of what was about to happen. He got up off his knees and just stood there watching me.
Before I could react, he grabbed me by my neck forcing me into the hallway. He grit his teeth talking close to my face. "You are not fuckin' leaving me Tiara." He banged my head up against the wall like three times each bang harder than the other. A tear fell from his eye. "I ain't shit without y'all, I need you T, don't do this to me. I will kill you first. Don't do this Tiara please, I will kill you!" He cried.
I tried to take his arm from my neck but he had put a lot of anger into that hold and I couldn't breathe. He kept squeezing tighter and banging my head against the wall and I was about to past out.
"Daddy what are you doing?" I tried to look over at my daughter at the end of the hallway but Tony's grip on my neck was too tight.
"Tony, get your hands off that girl right now!" his aunt demanded.
Shayonna cried and ran up to me. "Mommy you okay?" I caught my breath and then bent to hug her. "I'm fine baby."
"Daddy why was you hurting mommy?"
Shayonna’s face was full of worry. "I'm sorry baby." His voice was barely above a whisper.
I was thankful that I’d left the door unlocked because Tony's aunt was my safe haven to get my suitcases out into my car so that Tony couldn't stop me.
"Tony, don't you ever put your hands on her again," his aunt snapped.
"I'm sorry auntie," Tony said as he watched me rushing the suitcases past him throwing them down the stairs. I only had two suitcases full of clothes and shoes, one for each of us but that was all that we needed. I loaded the suitcases into the car and then came into the house to get my daughter. Tony was standing next to his aunt at the bottom of the stairs holding Shayonna and apologizing to her. For a moment I thought he would put up a fight.
I looked in his eyes, "hand me the baby Tony." I said.
He just looked at me, then at Shayonna and tears fell from his eyes. It hurt me to my soul that I was taking Shayonna away from him but it was for our own good. If I remained with him, he would continue cheating and then eventually he would start to beat me in front of Shayonna and she would end up resenting him like I did my father.
"Give her the baby." Shayonna's aunt said nudging Tony's arm with her elbow. Tony squeezed Shayonna tight and kissed her cheek long and hard before handing her to me. I continued to gaze in his eyes as he passed me Shayonna.
"Thank you," I said to him.
That thank you came from the bottom of my heart. It had mor
e than one meaning. I was thankful to him for saving me from the hood and being there for me. All of our years weren’t bad. Anticipating his release from jail was the only thing I’d looked forward to the whole time I lived with Renee in the projects. In a sense, he actually was my knight in shining armor but in reality I had to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't the one. I took his hand and placed my engagement ring inside his palm and walked out the door.
I buckled Shayonna in and backed out of the driveway and looked at our home for the last time before I pulled away.
My heart broke in half and then the tears came. This had to be the same pain my mom felt when she left my father when I was Shayonna's age. I remembered how she kept apologizing to me and my brother Trè.
It was so clear now because I was driving away saying the same thing to Shayonna.
“I’m sorry Shayonna, I’m so sorry.”
Epilogue
I will always keep in touch with Tony for Shayonna's sake. Although we had our problems, I would never totally cut her out of her father's life. She loved him and he deserved to be in her life, he was always a good father first. But once I get situated in whatever state God brings me to, I wouldn't give him my address; I rather let Shayonna visit him.
I stayed in a hotel the night that I left Tony because I had to be present at the bank for the closing with the new homeowners who bought my three family home off of me. I actually ended up getting a pretty good amount of money from the sale. It was enough to move Shayonna and me away and set us up comfortably until I landed a job in wherever we settled. To be honest, it was enough for me to not work for a year if I wanted to.
Before I left for my journey out of Boston, I went to visit Mumbles and Kal's grief-stricken family’s homes to pay my respect for their losses. I wouldn't have felt right leaving if I didn't pay my respects in some way. I went by both of their homes and left the families with envelopes stuffed with a few hundred dollars. Money wouldn't help their pain but it was the least that I could do, especially since I didn't attend either funerals.
Mumbles little cousin was on the porch of his house when I was leaving out and he told me the street they were killed on.
They were killed just a little ways from Mumbles house. I rolled up to put a teddy bear near the pole that everyone used for their memorial and I also lit up one of the candles that were blown out. I took out an old picture of Sharod, Mumbles, Kal and Turk when they were pre-teens chilling in my old spot and I tucked it inside of the teddy bear’s snug pocket. I stepped back looking at all of the teddy bears, then I glared at the' we love you' and 'we miss you' signs and I couldn't take anymore.
The sky suddenly turned gray and rain began to fall hard onto the street. I gave my final goodbyes and headed up to Sharod's final resting place to also bid my farewell.
I rode by the hood passing all the old streets that I was finally leaving for good. There were a lot of tears shed and stressful days in my hood that I had to endure that even some men probably wouldn't have been able to handle. As I glanced in the back seat at Shayonna who was looking out of her window, I almost cried at how happy I was that she wouldn't have to know what type of pain these particular streets carried. I had hoped that God put me through everything that I had been through so that Shayonna would ride life's waves effortlessly. These streets took my soul, gave it back and swallowed it again. This time, there would be no way for the streets to defeat me, I was finally leaving.
I realized I couldn’t stay in Boston just for Trè anymore either, he was a grown man and I was only one person. As far as keeping money in his canteen, I would always hold him down on that. Other than that, I had to focus on me and Shayonna. I realized that I should have put myself before others a long time ago and I probably wouldn’t have went through half of the shit that I had. What was loyalty anyway? Would any of the people that I had ever helped lift a fuckin’ finger to help me, hell no! But I always had a fight in me that made me feel as though I was super woman and that I could help everyone. Shit, I couldn’t even help myself.
I took out my umbrella to shield us from the rain as Shayonna and I stood in front of Sharod’s headstone. I stood there telling Sharod about my plans to leave. It was so painful leaving Boston knowing that his headstone was there and that I wouldn’t be able to visit it frequently. But I knew that Sharod would agree to my leaving but it was still so hard. Just as I was about to pour out a stream of tears to contribute to the pouring rain, the rain suddenly stopped but tears were still formed at my eyes. Shayonna pointed toward the sky, “Mommy look, the sun is coming out.”
I took down my umbrella, looked up at the sun and it beamed down gracefully over Sharod’s headstone.
I smiled and dried my tears and sighed looking at the headstone.
“I got the message loud and clear baby bro. Don’t Cry, Just Ride.”
I smiled and stared at his headstone for a second. I blew him a kiss, hopped into my car and drove off. I was taking my little brother’s advice. He may have never known it when he said it to his old friends but those words were meant for me. Don’t Cry Just Ride meant that I would no longer cry for situations that I couldn’t control; I had to ride it out and keep it moving because one day it will be okay.
Boston, my engagement to Tony, my mom, my friends, my old life, would merely be memories to me. It felt good letting go of most of my burdens. But there were also some that would stay with me for the rest of my life. The fact that I couldn’t recover a relationship with my mom would always haunt me. But as my mom used to always tell me when I was younger, ‘Tiara, don’t be like me, be better than me’ and I plan to do just that. I would never abandon Shayonna. I plan to raise her in a new city and start all over.
And with that being said.
Today will be the beginning of the rest of my life.
I told y’all I wouldn’t give up.
Your Girl, Tiara James
Acknowledgements
First I would like to thank GOD for the ability to allow me to continue to use my craft to create art. Without him I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m thankful for my two children Shyna and DeVandre, my mom and my two brothers Darryl and Andre.
Dre, little bro, we did it again, I love you and I will continue to keep your memory alive. D, my big bro, hold your head, you’ll be home soon enough and I can’t wait for your book to drop, the streets are going to go crazy!
To Rahdahl, thanks for continuously believing in me and pushing me to go hard as we made StreetDreamz Publications come into existence; you’re greatly appreciated. To every single one of my true friends that had my back throughout my writing career, thank you. Kiyana, Felisha, Precious, Kaie and Nichole, I consider y’all my sisters, thank you for listening to me vent as I grinded. Y’all are the definition of real friends.
I would like to especially thank all of my fans for being patient as Part II was birthed. You guys all hold a special place in my heart and I’m truly thankful for your continued support.
For all the aspiring writers and to all of the young ladies and gentlemen who reach out to me for advice, always remember GRIND TIME EQUALS SHINE TIME. Continue to stay motivated and don’t let anyone hold you back from achieving your goals. If I can do it, so can you.
Until we meet again,
LaShonda DeVaughn
Be sure to stop by my website and leave your mark in my guestbook www.Lashondadevaughn.page.tl
Follow me on Twitter @hoodchickstory
Facebook/shondadevaughn
Myspace.com/hoodchick
www.StreetDreamzPublications.com
Be on the look out for my third novel coming soon titled “If All Men Cheat, All Women Should Too!”
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