“No, you’re not!” Becky laughed, and climbed out of his arms. “My Grandma’s old.” She started running in the general direction of the street, Bob following quickly behind.
“I better go too,” Ali said with a conciliatory look in her eyes. “Nice seeing you.”
Jeff turned to Ivey when they’d left. “That’s Ali’s family. Becky isn’t usually wound up like that. She’s smart as a whip though.”
“And adorable.”
“Thanks. I am rather partial to her.” Someday if he were lucky enough to have children, he hoped they’d challenge him as much as Becky did. She made him see things in new ways, in different colors and shapes. Ali said kids had a way of doing that.
He took Ivey’s hand, and she went willingly with him away from the crowds and closer to the creek that ran in the back of the park. “I’m sorry about Ali. She’s worried about me.”
“Worried about you?” The tone in Ivey’s voice suggested that she couldn’t fathom a reason why Ali would worry about big, capable Jeff Garner. “Surely she knows you left me.”
He cleared his throat. This was the hard part. Not the way he worked, but maybe it was time to make some changes. He would have to let his heart take the lead, because his brain was currently disengaged. “Yeah, of course she does. But here’s the thing. She also knows what I haven’t told you yet.”
By the creek, a slight breeze kicked up and he instinctively pulled Ivey closer.
“What haven’t you told me yet?” He could feel it as her tiny frame tightened in expectation of another blow. Not surprising, since she’d lived her life recovering from a series of small shocks.
He let go of her and dragged a hand through his hair. “This isn’t easy to say.”
“Say it.”
Right. “What you don’t know is that after I said I needed a break I regretted it. Instead of calling you, I planned a surprise. You like surprises, I know that. Anyway, I asked for my grandmother’s wedding ring, came home right after finals and picked it up. But you weren’t home because you went to meet up with the guy you met on a dating service. And that’s the truth.”
Humiliating though it was, the truth felt liberating. And now he didn’t feel like such an asshole. Yeah, maybe he’d made a selfish mistake, but he’d tried to correct it. He expected Ivey to be happy now, to know that he too had regrets. And that the joke had been on him.
But of all the things he expected, not one of them was to watch her burst into tears.
Chapter 11
“Before I apologize, I need to know what I did wrong.” Jeff pressed his forehead to hers.
The strong beat of his heart pulsed under her fingertips. With a slight push she turned away and faced the creek, trying hard to swallow a sob. “You did nothing wrong.”
Every star winked back in the inky black night, but she had no words. No words for the unfairness of it all. For the irony. If she’d only waited one lousy month. She wouldn’t have even been showing, so she would have had the pleasure of a proposal knowing it hadn’t been born out of necessity. But beyond that, not much else would have been different.
He still might have had to drop out of school. They would have still wound up hating each other. No, she’d done the right thing.
She’d fixed it. Fixed everything. Only problem, she’d never had what she wanted. Maybe now it was finally her time.
Perhaps from this point forward she wouldn’t cheat herself anymore. Stop making excuses and believing she didn’t deserve to be happy. Tell the truth and let people deal with it. Take what she wanted, and try like hell to be happy. Life was too short.
And this man happened to be all she’d ever wanted from the moment she’d first laid eyes on him. Granted, most people didn’t discover the love of their lives at sixteen, but she wasn’t most people.
Neither was he, for that matter. He happened to be—everything. And for once in her life, she deserved him.
Jeff came up behind her, his arms encircling her, head bent low to her neck. “Tell me you’re okay.”
She turned to face him. “I am, but we’re going to have to set Ali straight.”
“Don’t worry about her.” His thumb traced the edge of her eye, wiping away a tear.
“I have to worry about her. She’s your sister, and she loves you. She’s upset with me, and I get it. But she has to know that I’m not letting you go this time.”
The furrowed brow eased and his face broke out in a smile. A surge of love kicked her in the gut so hard that it spread down and around to the back of her knees.
“Yeah?”
She nodded, and rose to the tips of her toes to kiss him square on the lips, where she’d wanted to kiss him for weeks. He deepened the kiss, and she felt warmth as it spread down her legs, and to the soles of her feet. He tasted so good, warm and wet and hard under her touch. She let her hands wander down his back and up his flat stomach, while his fingers threaded through her hair, holding her firmly in place. As if she would dream of going anywhere.
She pulled back, breathless and hazy but most of all certain. This time she was coming home to him. “Let’s go.”
They didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone as they left the park, and Jeff tugged on her hand like he thought if he didn’t hurry she might change her mind.
Once at the cottage, when the door to the rest of the world closed and they were two lovers alone with their thoughts and their history, Jeff kissed the hollow of her throat and whispered near her ear. “Are you sure?”
She answered by leaping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. Holding the back of his neck she kissed him hard, letting all the hurt, regret, anger, and pain slide right out of her body. “What do you think?”
He carried her to his bed and gently lowered her, his arms cradling her like she was something precious and breakable. She wanted to show him that she wasn’t fragile any more. Instead she was strong and capable and ready to risk it all.
Eager, she fumbled to take her jeans off, fighting with a zipper that didn’t understand how important this moment was to her. He’d once whispered that nothing turned him on quite as much as her eagerness for him, but he stayed her hand before she removed her black bra and panties.
“Slow down, Little Face.” He ran his fingers under the satiny strap, and the warmth of his hand made her shiver.
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Me either, but I’m going to try,” he said as he pulled her bra strap down and his mouth covered her breast.
In the back of her mind there was something she hadn’t told him, but for now the uncomfortable truth faded to black because it was so much better to feel, to love, to touch him everywhere. The rest would take care of itself. She had to believe it.
Her eyes were closed, and she hadn’t realized it until Jeff spoke. “Look at me.”
And she did, taking it all in, the way he moved above her, causing her such pleasure she might jump out of her skin.
“I see you,” she said on a sigh.
She saw everything she’d ever known about him and never forgotten. The way he knew how to love her, never judging her, seeing her heart even before she’d ever showed it to him.
As wave after wave of pleasure hit her, there were no words left. Only sensations that carried her away.
*****
Ivey sighed in Jeff’s arms and snuggled in even closer. This was bliss, lying in his arms. Feeling his heart beat next to hers. She hadn’t wanted to admit it, but all that serial dating had amounted to the fact that there had never been anyone else for her except for Jeff Garner. “I don’t want to go anywhere else, ever again. Let’s stay right here.”
“Deal.” Jeff ran his hand along the small of her back, and she settled in to the fact that his hands were not going to stop touching her for the foreseeable future. A little bit like heaven. “Maybe we should sleep for a while. I don’t want to tire you out. The first time we were both a bit carried away, and it was too quick for me, but the second t
ime felt more like we were getting reacquainted. And the third time we tried something new.”
She felt a blush coming on. “I liked that.”
“I could tell.” He kissed her forehead. “We may get into the swing of this the fourth time.”
“But first I need to rest. For a little while.” Ivey laid her head on his chest, listening to his strong beating heart. She’d missed this—him—so much that fears clouded her vision. She could lose him, because she had once before. He’d told her his secret. Now could she tell him hers? Would he still want her after that?
Yes he would. He wanted to marry you, remember? If he still didn’t feel that way, would he have told her at all?
Her cell phone rang and Jeff groaned. She reached for it, but it was closer to him so he grabbed it first.
He playfully held it out of her reach. “Give me. It might be important. Remember I’m covering for Marissa this weekend.”
“What will you give me for it?” He had a wicked smile on his face.
“I think you know what I’ll give you.” Ivey let her hand dive under the covers and he jumped.
“You’ve got a deal,” he said as he handed her the phone.
When Ivey answered she heard a moan on the other end. So either someone was having sex or about to have a baby. “This is Ivey. Hello?”
“It’s Asia. Foster. Ow! Oh, mother of God that hurts. Are you going to help me or what?” Asia sounded pushy and in pain.
“Of course I will,” Ivey said as she swatted Jeff’s hand away from her breast. “What’s going on?”
“I’m having a baby, Einstein. Are you sure you’re qualified to do this?”
All right, so maybe Asia was a little bitchy as well. “How far apart are the contractions?”
“That’s the thing. There’s no pattern. Eleven minutes, seven minutes, eight minutes, twelve. What should I do? It’s not like it says in the book!”
Ivey jumped out of bed and collected clothes from the floor. How had Asia done this? She was about to have a baby on the day she’d planned. It was one wild coincidence. “It’s enough of a pattern. I’ll be over in a few minutes. Don’t worry. We still have plenty of time.”
“You have to go,” Jeff said when she hung up.
For the first time since she’d been doing this, she’d rather stay home than go deliver a baby into the world. That might be because Jeff lay on his back, arms splayed behind his neck, only the thinnest of sheets covering him. Especially difficult, because she was well acquainted with what lay under the sheet.
“Lousy timing, but babies have their own schedule.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“I’ll make this up to you.” She leaned down and gave him a long, deep kiss.
He grinned. “You better.”
*****
One quick shower later, which Jeff couldn’t talk Ivey into sharing with him, and she was off. Now he stood alone in the kitchen, fully dressed but not happy about it, heating up a can of chicken soup. It took him a few minutes to realize he was whistling. Whistling.
A couple of uninterrupted hours with Ivey had done that. At first he hadn’t known what to expect, being together after all these years, but it was better than he could have imagined. Better than his oldest fantasies. He hadn’t been a monk all these years, but he had cheated himself. There was nothing quite like making love, and he’d done that for the first time in five years tonight.
She remembered him. The way he liked to be touched, everything he’d taught her about how to please him. And she’d done that tonight, with the kind of passion he remembered. Ivey wasn’t shy or retiring with him, she was eager and took what she wanted. This had to be love, the kind that didn’t fade away, and from now on he wasn’t going to settle for anything less.
If it meant he had to make more sacrifices, give up more of himself, lose sleep, he’d do it. He didn’t know how Ivey felt, but he’d find out soon enough. This time, he wasn’t going to let her walk away without an explanation.
There was a short, insistent knock on the door, and Jeff halfway convinced himself that Ivey was back, having forgotten her key. Instead an older woman stood in front of him, dressed in a peasant top, jeans, and Birkenstocks.
“Hello. I heard from my old friend Marissa that Ivey Lancaster is living here. Is she here now?”
“Sorry no, she’s with a patient.”
“Don’t tell me at the hospital.”
“She’s covering for a midwife who’s out of town. It’s going to be a while, I think.” He hoped the woman would get the message. She should come back later.
“Fine. I’ll wait for her if you don’t mind. I’m up from LA, trying to talk her into letting go of this foolishness with the hospital. I heard all about it from Marissa. Ivey and I used to work together.”
Jeff moved aside and waved the woman inside. Apparently he would have company for a while. “You must be Babs. She’s talked about you.”
Babs took a seat on the couch, and for the first time he noticed the overnight bag. Great. Did she think she would stay the night here? He stared at the bag, trying to mentally telegraph that she wasn’t going to be able to. On the other hand, Babs could have Scott’s room and Ivey could stay with him. Face it, as far as he was concerned, she’d never sleep in Scott’s room again.
“That’s me. Ivey and I go way back. Never would have thought I’d mentor one of my own patients, but Ivey was special.”
He froze. “Excuse me?”
“I said she was special.”
“You said she was one of your patients. Maybe I heard wrong.” Wouldn’t she have told him if she’d been pregnant? They’d been discussing labor and delivery for weeks, and she never thought to add her own personal experience? Why hide that from him? Did she think he of all people would judge her? Or — the other thought that immediately ran through his mind was too terrible to be true.
Bab’s eyes narrowed. “Wait a minute. What did you say your name was again?”
“I didn’t. How long ago was she your patient?”
Now she looked nervous, and Jeff could feel anger roiling around in the pit of his stomach. But it couldn’t be true. Ivey wouldn’t have done this to him.
“I think you should talk to Ivey,” she said with a mortified look that gave him his answer.
But it was much too late for her to stop talking now. He forced himself to speak calmly. “Answer the question. How long ago? A year ago? Five years ago? When?”
Babs sighed and looked directly in his eyes. “I’m not going to say anymore, but you’re asking the right questions. Ivey was my patient five years ago.”
His baby? How did he miss it? Five years ago, Ivey had been suddenly clingy and tearful. Out of the blue she’d asked him about family housing for married students. He’d only felt the noose tighten around his neck and made up some lame excuse about it being too crowded. Too expensive. Too late to sign up. He’d wanted her to be patient. It was going to be bad enough being married on a resident’s salary, but he couldn’t stand the thought of having his wife work to put him through school. No, waiting and planning was best.
Obviously he hadn’t had all the facts. Ivey had been pregnant with his baby. Didn’t think he had a right to know. Phased him out, just like that.
Jeff had never felt hot molten lava course through his veins before, but damn if there wasn’t a first time for everything. “I have to go. Stay here as long as you like.”
“Wait. Where are you going?” The woman wouldn’t stop talking, but he could barely hear her words, little bites of sound in the distance.
Suddenly the past had ringing clarity to it, even as red seemed to cloud his vision.
His fingers tightened around the steering wheel, and he hit the dashboard with his fist. So many questions to be answered from the one woman who couldn’t seem to stop hurting him. This one final dig, taking his child away, was almost more than he could take.
He didn’t care that he’d be interrupting, as he drove to the Fo
ster house. He didn’t care anymore because he needed answers and he wasn’t going to wait another second for them.
Chapter 12It might be a long night with little sleep for any of them, but at the end of it Asia would hold her baby in her arms for the first time. Ivey still wasn’t sure how Asia had managed to nail her delivery date so accurately. Call it good luck or good timing, but the Fosters seemed to have both in spades.
“You’re sixty percent effaced and two centimeters dilated.” Ivey took her gloves off.
“Two? Only two? Tell me why I feel like I’m at twenty.”
“Honey, it’s okay.” Asia’s husband Derek massaged her back.
“Don’t touch me.”
Derek looked wounded, and Ivey gave him a little apologetic smile. “Prodromal labor is hard, but you’ll get there. You probably have a big baby, and he or she is tiring your poor womb out. But this is going to happen soon. We need to wait the baby out. So far everything looks great.”
“You’ll stay with us. Right?” Derek asked, the high pitch in his voice and the terror in his eyes giving her a clear idea of his level of apprehension. She’d give him a ten, ninety-nine percent effaced. Poor guy.
“I’m not going anywhere. Why don’t you get her some more ice chips?”
Derek, given a green light to do something away from his wife, took off at a near run.
“Remind me why I did this,” Asia said. “Why have his baby? He’s so damn big, no wonder his baby is big. Why couldn’t I have fallen in love with someone smaller? Thinner?”
Glad Derek was out of the room, Ivey wiped Asia’s face with a soft, damp towel. “Because you love him?”
“Oh, God help me, I do.” Asia sobbed. “I was so mean to him. Derek! Come back here. I didn’t mean it. I love you, baby.”
Derek didn’t waste any time hightailing back into the room with the ice chips, the look of a happy puppy dog in his eyes. “You called me, baby?”
Ivey left the bedroom, giving them a moment. This was the best part of a home birth. Home. She’d be in the kitchen if they needed her. In a few minutes, she’d be back to suggest that Asia take a walk, move around some more. Meanwhile, time was their best friend.
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