“I can’t find him, here or anywhere else. If I saw him, I would have kicked his ass already instead of having this frustrating conversation with you. Duh.” Dae rolled her eyes.
“Then how do you know someone is following you if you haven’t caught someone following you?”
“I feel it.”
“You feel someone following you?” Iya asked incredulously.
“That’s what I said.”
“So proof wise…”
“I don’t need proof. I can feel it.”
“But you haven’t seen anyone following you, or heard anyone, and you have absolutely no physical evidence whatsoever but your feelings that someone is following you?”
“That about sums it up.”
“You make entirely no sense.”
Dae ran her fingers through her long hair. “If I saw someone trailing me, or heard them at all, wouldn’t that alert me that someone’s there?” Dae held up her hand when Iya looked like she was going to interrupt. “Wait, don’t answer that. It would be a piss poor job at following someone and this guy’s good. He knows to be out of sight and ear shot. But he doesn’t know I can feel him around me all the time. Before it was two guys, now it’s a different guy.” Again, Dae paused to halt Iya when her eyes widened. “Wait, I know what you’re about to say: how could I possibly know it’s not one of the original two guys? Right? That’s the thing, the energy feels different. The other two’s energy was more malevolent than this guys is. Like he’s not as bad. I actually feel a little hurt that I don’t warrant the original two assholes on my tail. It clearly means they think I’m an easy target.” Dae sounded like she was insulted.
Could Dae actually be insulted from two or possibly three fictional stalkers? Iya seriously hoped not.
“Ok you are completely and utterly insane. No one is following you, if anything people are running from you. And I don’t blame them anymore. Did you really have to make that cute guy from Art History table cry?”
“Hey, that rich primaddona couldn’t tell the difference between Symbolism and Post Impressionism. He said that Van Gogh’s Starry Night and Klimt’s Pallas Athena are basically the same damn painting. Who the hell was he kidding by trying to talk art history to people who actually have an interest in it? He was trying to get in some half-wit’s pants with his knowledge of ‘pretty pictures’. Be happy that making him cry is all I did.”
“And you wonder why people are following you. Could it be your lovely disposition?”
“Ah-ha! See, you just proved my point and agreed with me.”
Iya shook her head at her friend. “You know, sometimes I worry about your delusions of grandeur. I’d hate to find out my roomy is a narcissist.”
Dae snorted. “You and the pentagon worry too much. As soon as they realize I am the only sovereign this country needs and impeach what’s his face, I’ll abolish narcissism from the English language and then we all can be happy as clams.”
Iya chuckled. After all, what could she say after that?
Two
“Hey, sign up for classes now and lust later. They’ll still be here when we’re done.” Dae grumbled.
Iya smiled but she was disappointed. Iya dragged Dae all over the crowd and Dae still showed no interest in any guy there. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Hey, how come the biggest slacker I know becomes all focused when confronted with large groups of hot guys?”
Dae surveyed the near mob like crowd. “I don’t see any hot guys here, all I see are Greeks.” Dae said Greeks like it was a filthy, dirty, dirty word and followed with a gagging sound that would have put hard-core bulimics to shame.
Iya rolled her eyes. “So you don’t like the Greeks, huh? What are they, like, your kryptonite?”
“Yes. Yes, they are. Prolonged exposure will make me weak and then you, under the obligation of the loyal sidekick contract, will have to carry me to my ice fortress to heal. Greeks have also been known to cause diarrhea, pink eye, migraines and cancer. Can we get a move on already? I see a new bunch of groupies from Dirt-bag Parasites staring at you like you’re a free keg of beer.”
Iya grinned. “Dirt-bag Parasites?”
“Delta Phi. Don’t you ever listen to my rants?”
“Nope, I always tune you out after I hear ‘you know what really bugs me?’” Dae’s eyes narrowed on Iya as she didn’t bother hiding her laughing. Dae pulled her roommate away from the advancing group of Greeks by her arm muttering something that vaguely sounded like ‘pulling the wool off Iya’s eyes’.
“You are such an over exaggerator.” Iya said as Dae tried to find a spot in the crowd that was far away from everybody. “Why do you hate the Greek’s so much anyway?”
“Um hello, they make a brother or sister hood by selecting people who are only: number one Beautiful, number two Athletic, number three Popular and/or Rich. As long as you fit those criteria, you’re in. And even if you’re not, they still make you believe that you could be in the running just because it’s fun to put people through unbelievable humiliations AKA hazing that supposedly show the Greeks your loyalty. And the people who do get in become the next set of tormenters.”
“Jeeze Dae, tell me how you really feel. The Greek’s bring together those who are not regular family into a bond like family. They watch out for each other, take care of each–”
“Pure propaganda. Seriously, what dream world do you live in? Are you happy there, did they crown you queen?” Iya rolled her eyes as Dae continued, “Last week Trevor Hill was walking funny and couldn’t sit down. Do you know why?”
“No, I don’t know why. You know I don’t listen to gossip, that stuff is never true.”
“It’s not gossip if it can be confirmed. His brother, not his biological one by the way, who he shares a room with put itching powder in his jock strap and underwear. The boy scratched up his man jigglies because it itched so bad.”
“Where did you hear that crap from? I seriously doubt that itching powder is that strong. Dae, you really shouldn’t believe everything you hear around here. People like to talk. And make up things.” Iya did not laugh in Dae’s face. Iya wanted to, but she didn’t.
“Well these ‘people’ who like to talk are his cousin, who had to drive up from New Jersey to get his itching ass and bring him home because the boy nearly tore up his pocket rocket. That is the truth my friend because I heard Dr. Meacham himself say this in the medical center while talking to one of the nurses.”
Iya laughed loudly, “Did you really call his manly parts a ‘pocket rocket’?”
“Would you rather I called it his baloney pony, admiral winky or the one-eyed milkman?”
Iya laughed some more when she looked at Dae to see the very serious expression on her face. “If you don’t want me to laugh, don’t call any mans nether regions by names like admiral winky or the one eyed milkman. Call it a schlong or newsflash: people in the medical field might just call it a penis.” Iya tried to stop laughing at the face Dae wore. Iya continued, “But, most importantly, and for the love of all that’s holy, please tell me where the heck do you get these names from?”
When Dae glared at her in response, Iya couldn’t stop laughing.
“Hey, the important part of that story was not what I called his Bilbo Baggins, but that his brother from another mother put so much itching powder in his jock that he could be scarred for life. Can you imagine any person who was supposed to love you like family doing that to you?”
Iya finally stopped laughing at Dae’s references to Trevor’s manhood. “Ok, it’s doubtful that he will be scared because of this prank but I will entertain your reasoning for the moment. Unless every single Greek has done that to each other –which I seriously doubt– I can’t see how you can blame the majority of Greek’s for some fool who wanted to play a practical joke on his frat brother. You can’t lump them all together, and you’ve hated the Greek’s since we started here.”
“I did not ‘hate’ the Greeks since we first got here. I’ve always hat
ed people who do things just because it’s expected. So, we’re all in college, it doesn’t mean everybody has to be part of the Greek structure. How many pledges join because it’s their family legacy? How can anyone just go along and follow societies impositions like the sheep being led by the shepherd! Are you a blind sheep, Iya? Will you be led and herded wherever they want you to go?”
“Oh here we go… we all are not sheep being blindly led by the shepherd. It hurts me you think of me that poorly. I can clearly see the shepherd’s taking me to the field full of hot Greeks!” Iya said mockingly.
Dae shook her head. The things that came out of Iya’s mouth.
Iya continued, “Besides, I like the Greeks. They have been nothing but nice to both of us, Dae. Most of them are delicious and know how to have a good time. And–” Iya stopped and squealed in delight “Ooh! Look, there’s Marcus!” She motioned over to the group that Dae had been trying to avoid at all costs.
Marcus was the Mr. high-and-mighty of Dirt-bag Parasites (Delta Phi). Sadly, Dae was the only one who called them that. Marcus looked like one of those models people would call ‘All American’, which loosely meant tall, blond hair, blue eyed Caucasian and privileged. Six feet, 200 lbs easy, all muscle of course, for his spot as some big something or other on the football team. And with all those gifts from whoever was in charge of those kinds of things in the universe, he decided to take a path down Manipulating Asshole Road that branched off to Scumbag Lane and Absolute Prick Circle.
Also, as luck had it, he was always drooling over sweet, impressionable Iya. Iya, who believed in the general ‘goodness’ of all people. And the Easter bunny. Unicorns. Santa Claus. Name some fictional propaganda, Dae’s roommate believed in its plausibility.
“Ok seriously, what do they have to offer you beside VD and gonorrhea? Oh I forgot: herpes.” Dae raised a lone eyebrow up as she continued, “Marcus and his band of merry douche bags are a waste of perfectly good hair products. Plus, the guys who stalked you earlier made all the Dirt-bag Parasites look like a hat full of assholes.”
Iya’s face contorted in what smelled like embarrassment and then she bit her lip while looking innocently at the floor. This was Iya’s signal that meant ‘the person you just insulted is behind you’ so Dae wasn’t surprised when she heard Marcus’s snakelike voice say, “Dae, I’m hurt. I always thought we were friends.” Lair.
Dae heard the sad puppy dog face before she turned to see it. “I was just coming over to say hi and invite you both to the kegger tonight.” Marcus turned the sad puppy dog face to Iya now. “Hello Iya, looking lovely as always. I hope you don’t think me and the guys are douche bags who–” Marcus sneaked a mocking glance at Dae “waste hair care products. I can assure you that we only use what we must to prevent damage to the ecosystem.” He was smiling so innocently. The bastard.
Before Iya could melt at his feet Dae said, “Hello, Marcus. I said your all douche bags who are a waste of good hair products, with faces that–”.
Before she could continue to clarify her statement, Iya pinched her in the back of her arm. Hard. Dae was so stunned from the pain that she inhaled a deep breath and held it so she didn’t yip like an animal. Iya was never violent. Actually, Iya was so nonviolent that violent crazy people became unexpectedly calmer in Iya’s presence. Dae should know, it happened to her all the time. Like now.
“Hey Marcus, you know she doesn’t mean that, Dae’s always kidding around.” Iya said with a glare at Dae.
Making her eyes as innocent as a doe, Iya said, “We’ll definitely come to the kegger tonight.” Dae opened her mouth to tell Marcus they weren’t going anywhere near him or his group of walking syphilis, but Iya pinched her arm again so hard she couldn’t help the yelp that escaped her mouth. Iya dragged Dae away before Dae could remember the exact insult she had readied in her pain filled calm fog.
Iya treated Dae to a softee’s ice cream cone as a peace offering, but Dae was still mad. Dae had been known to hold a grudge’s over the stupidest stuff. She still wouldn’t talk to the mail men for hitting her as he nearly fell down the stairs to his death. Why couldn’t Dae see that it’s impossible to hate everybody! Iya gritted her teeth. Unfortunately, Dae was too angry to realize the reason Dae was mad was plain ridiculous.
All Dae could think about was that Iya accepted the invite to a frat party for her. Iya told Douchy Mck-Douch-baggery that they were both going to go together to hang out with a bunch of Greeks! Promiscuous guys who only thought with one head at a time. Greeks who Iya knew Dae hated with all their fake brotherhood. Again. And after Iya promised no more frat parties for a month not but 3 and a half weeks ago. Hadn’t Dae endured enough torture in her very short life? Iya should know that guys are stupid but there even dumber in drunken groups. Why didn’t Iya understand that it’s impossible for Dae not to hate everybody!
“I refuse to go party with a bunch of date rapists!” Dae said once they walked in their apartment as she tossed her cell on the table.
Iya rolled her eyes.“What are you talking about? Who said the Greeks are date rapists?”
“Hello, half the freshman class!”
“Seriously, half the freshman class said that the Greeks of Delta Phi are date rapists?” Iya looked at Dae for a long moment while Dae tried to figure out the response that would have Iya agree with her completely. She should have clamped down on the date rapist theory and focused on the loser douche-baggery theory. Iya did not care for gossip.
“Well, what they said was… close enough.” Dae tried to keep her serious-believe-me face on but, clearly, it didn’t work.
Iya laughed exasperated, “You can’t even say that with a straight face! You liar!”
“Hey, I wasn’t lying. Perception is everything, you know that. If I perceived the Greeks behavior as the same behaviors of date rapists then it is not a lie. And anyway, you promised! No more frat parties for a month. That’s what you said.”
“Yes, I did. If you recall that was, oh, a month ago! So what excuse are you going to use now?”
“These are not excuses, Iya, they are perfectly logical reasons. And if you remember correctly I still have 3 more days of your promise–”
“Tell me why you don’t want to go to a party with these guys. You never want to go to any parties. I have to drag you out to them, hoping that there is someone else in the world that you might actually be civil to besides me. So do me a favor and just tell me why so I can understand–” Iya’s eyes widened as she paused and she nearly whispered, “Do you not like… guys? Because that’s completely ok with me–”
Dae cut Iya off, “Oh, yes, the reason why I don’t want to go to a fucking kegger with a group of loser douche bags who are going to give alcohol to underage girls in hopes of getting them drunk enough to get laid is because I’m a lesbian. It’s not a broken promise from my friend or that I don’t want to watch underage freshmen drink themselves unconscious, it’s because I’m gay. Oh yeah, Iya, you finally figured me out. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that I’m out of the closet. You know how much I worry about other people and what they think.”
“Hey, potty mouth, I was just… checking. Don’t you mock me; it really would explain your hatred of the Greeks. Course it wouldn’t explain why you hate the female Greek sororities, but I guess that was wishful thinking on my part. Just tell me why you don’t want to go to this party with me? Without the sailor speak, please?”
“Ok, I know all my sarcasm must throw you for a loop, but I can’t say it any clearer: you’re breaking your promise, and the Greeks, especially these Greeks are LOSERS.”
Iya snorted, “You’re impossible, it’s just Marcus. He is not a loser and he’s sooo cute.” There it was all over Iya’s face. The goo-goo love eyes and the slightly euphoric smile that never went away whenever Marcus was around or they were arguing about his status as an asshole.
Gods, he is such an asshole!
“Marcus is also so full of his own shit that he’s constantly followed by Rot
or Rooter ‘just in case’. You can’t possibly believe he is the nice guy he is pretending to be–”
As Dae spoke, Iya grasped her own face and pulled down until her hands dropped to smack her thighs in frustration. “How do you know!? How do you have this power to read everybody so clearly that not one other person possesses? I’ll tell you how Dae, your judgmental! And most of the time crazy to boot.”
“OH MY GOD! He is an asshole in sweet-sensitive guy clothing! He just wants to get in your pants!” Dae said through clenched teeth. How Iya could smell Marcus’s asshole-ness Dae didn’t know.
“So what is wrong with him getting in my pants? Maybe that’s right where I want him to be!” Iya yelled grabbing her hair and pulling it.
If Dae wasn’t seething with rage, she might have found that very funny. This was one of the few times that Dae pushed Iya into pulling out her own hair when they argued. She might have even felt proud of herself if she wasn’t about to explode.
“Did you seriously just ask me that? So it should be ok with me to have my best friend be used by some shitty guy like Marcus?”
“Maybe I want to use him! Maybe that’s been my plan all along, to reel him in, use him and cast him back out. Why do you care what I do with Marcus? “
“I care because I am your friend, and you can and have done so much better than Marcus.” Dae grimaced as she said his name.
“Hunny, out of all the things to care about, why care about who I’m getting busy with?”
“It’s not about what you’re going to do with him when you got him, it’s how you’re going to feel when he proves me right, treats you bad, and then I have to kill him!” Seriously, Dae had thought about it. Even found the perfect spot for the body.
“What? Do you honestly think I’m going to give Marcus a piece of my heart? Tack his last name after mine in all my notebooks, make plans for a house with a white picket fence?”
Lost & Found (A Lost Ones Novel Book 1) Page 3