by Alice Wilde
Rosa was right. He’s tall, nearly as tall as Damien. His golden-brown locks are soft and wavy. I can’t quite make out his face, but he’s certainly no longer the child I’d known so many years ago. I’d even go so far as to say he’s downright handsome, in a rough sort of way.
His hands are bound and he’s struggling to stay upright as Damien keeps enough distance between them to yank at the rope, forcing Luca to stumble and fall. I only now see how bloodied his hands and knees are. Damien stops as they reach the midpoint of my windowed view, yanks Luca to his knees, and then looks up at me, his eyes ripping into me, and I realize that he means for me to watch him punish Luca.
I try to pull myself from the window, but something holds me in place. My arms and legs are frozen as if I’m suddenly paralyzed. Damien continues to watch me for a moment as I struggle against the feeling and then turns his focus on Luca. I can’t hear what he’s saying from here, but I see him pull out the note and point at me.
I’m dumbfounded by what happens next. I watch as Luca turns to look up at me. He gives me a small smile and then nods his head. The next moment, he’s lying sprawled across the gravel. Damien pulls him to his knees with a single hand, then hits him again. The process continues, the time between blows growing shorter and shorter until Luca is no longer able to hold himself up on his knees.
Damien stands and straightens his vest, prodding Luca with his boot.
There’s blood everywhere. And Luca’s face! I can’t recognize it as human anymore. If I hadn’t seen him dragged over, I’d never have known it was him. His hair is a dark, wet mess and his body is convulsing on the ground. Not once did he make a sound. The guards take Luca’s arms and carry him off. Damien looks up at me once again, then turns and strides out of the garden.
My arms and legs loosen and I collapse to the floor. I crawl over to a basin and retch before curling up on the floor. I’m in too much shock to cry.
I don’t even know if Luca survived. The scene is burned into my mind. I am afraid, but not for myself. For Rosa.
I can’t be alone right now. I pull myself shakily to my feet and make my way over to the leopards, but I have no intention of sleeping on the floor again. Without a second thought, I release them from their leashes before crossing the room to my bed and flopping onto it. A second later, one, then two of the leopards are circling over me, trying to find a space to lie down without crushing me underneath.
I pull myself up and let them find their spots, but soon realize they’re far too monstrous for the bed as their limbs fall over the edges.
“Come,” I say, and to my surprise, they are off the bed and by my side in an instant. I grab as many quilts and pillows from my bed as I can carry and drag them into a large, rounded alcove in my room. I spread the quilts out over the floor, tossing the pillows on top and then turn to retrieve some more, but I don’t have to. The two leopards are standing before me, mouths full of pillows and bedding. I laugh, taking the various pieces from them and flinging them into the alcove.
“There,” I say, satisfied. “I think we’ve got a pretty comfortable place to rest now.” I step into the middle of the makeshift bed and the leopards follow. It is only once we are settled that I realize one of the leopards has not moved to be with us. Instead, he’s remained on the far side of the room, watching.
“You don’t have to be afraid, I won’t hurt you,” I say, wondering if the tethers were as much of a comfort as they were a prison for him. He snorts and looks away. Perhaps now that he has a choice whether or not he’s near me, he actually prefers to be left alone. My heart aches for him, but I turn back to the two next to me and lie down. They shift their weight toward me so each is touching the full length of me, muzzles breathing soft, sweet breath over my face. As much as I want to melt into them and cry my body dry, I am comforted by their proximity.
I want to be closer. Besides Rosa, they are the only living creatures that seem to care for me anymore. Luca’s bloodied face flashes in my mind and I roll to my side, burying my face deep into the fur of one of the leopards, the scent of his body like a stormy ocean. I press myself further into him, letting my mind go calm.
The second leopard moves, closing the gap between us, and for a moment I’m afraid I’ll suffocate. That or sweat to death. I prop myself up on one elbow and pull my shift off and toss it to the side, exposing my skin to the cool evening air before promptly nestling myself back into their fur.
Their vibrating purrs send me off into a dreamless sleep.
A sharp poke in my side forces my eyes open. Miriam is standing over me frowning, her face still painful to look at. She’s holding a plate of food and drink and I am instantly ravenous. I haven’t eaten all day.
“Your clothes…their leashes…” she says in a whisper I almost don’t catch.
“I was hot, that’s all, and they don’t seem to be doing anyone any harm. If we’re to be locked up together we might as well enjoy some of the same limited freedoms,” I say as I reach for the shift I had tossed away and pull it back over myself before she can stare at me any longer.
Miriam doesn’t respond and crosses to my vanity and sets the food and drink down before curtseying and exiting the room as quickly as she can.
The leopards and I have only known each other for a few days, but I’m already forgetting that most people would be terrified of being around such beasts.
I make quick work of the meal Miriam brought. The bread and cheese fill my mouth deliciously and I smile to myself until I realize the liquid she’s brought for me is licorice tea once again. I contemplate pouring it out, but think better of it, chugging it down as quickly as I can manage. Aside from the horrendous flavor, it does quench my thirst. I pick at the remainder of the meal, a handful of grapes and some slices of meat, but I have an idea.
Taking the meat in my hands, I cross over to the leopard who has chosen not to sleep with me and the others. As I approach, he growls, baring his teeth at me. It’s the amethyst-eyed leopard. I hesitate for a moment, but move slowly closer. It’s the first time any of them has shown any aggression toward me. I hold out the meat toward him and watch closely. He doesn’t move to meet me, but I can see his resolve wavering slightly.
Rumbling growls from the alcove turn my head and I see the other two leopards baring their teeth as well, but they appear to be directing their anger toward the leopard instead of me.
“Fine,” I say. “No treats for any of you if you’re going to be so greedy about it.” I toss the meat back on the plate and return to the bed I’ve made on the floor. I sit and try not to think about Rosa. I can’t help worrying about her, or wondering if I’ll ever see her again.
The sound of a plate clattering to the floor makes me look up and I see the two leopards who will still let me near them finish off the meat. I should have known better than to deny leopards meat in a room where they can get it themselves. If only my own wants and needs were so primal.
The room is steadily growing darker, the last rays of sunlight casting themselves carelessly against the ceiling. My mind once again returns to Rosa and I shudder at the thought of what might be happening to her this very moment. The tears come again and I bury my face in my knees.
A soft face nuzzles me and I look up into violet eyes.
“I knew you didn’t hate me,” I say, wrapping my arms around his thick neck.
He stiffens under the gesture, and I pull away. The other two leopards are flanking him, growling as they crouch low. He snaps back and they almost seem to be arguing. I’m not quite sure what to make of it but say nothing as I move back against the wall.
A second later, they pounce, but they are ready for each other and meet mid-air, fangs bared.
I’m terrified they might actually kill each other as they become a mess of fur, fangs, and claws. Perhaps there’s a reason why they’ve been leashed for so long. The free range gives them enough space to fight, but it doesn’t last long.
An eerie screech sounds from one of them and
they are suddenly still again. The blue-eyed and green-eyed leopards position themselves between me and the third. I’m unsure if they’re trying to protect me or are jealous of the attention I was giving him. I need to be more careful not to seem like I’m playing favorites in the future.
The violet-eyed leopard slinks away, finally settling on my empty bed to watch us. The other two return to my side and curl up, the blue-eyed leopard placing his head in my lap as the other rolls over onto his back and begins to whine at me.
I look at him for a long moment until I think I know what he wants. Belly rubs. One minute they’re all fighting, and the next I’m being asked for belly rubs. At least they know how to keep my mind occupied.
Carefully placing my hand on his outstretched belly, he looks at me with eager eyes. I begin slowly rubbing back and forth, the fur even finer and more like velvet here than on the rest of him. He makes an almost human sound, a moan of pleasure. Then I hit it, the dreaded hidden spot that exists on every cat’s stomach, and the next moment his front paws have wrapped around me and his mouth is closed around my arm. He hasn’t broken skin, but I’m frighteningly aware of just how easy it would be for him to snap me in half. He seems to realize what’s happened and lets go of me just as quickly, rolling over so his back is now toward me.
I’m shaking from the experience, but also amazed by how much restraint the leopards have when it comes to me. They could have easily killed me the moment we were left alone together. But now here we are, cuddling and sleeping next to each other.
As the two leopards drift off to sleep, I’m once again left with my thoughts and they quickly turn to Rosa. I can’t even begin to imagine what’s happening to her right now. After Luca and Miriam, I’m afraid of what he’ll do to a woman that he’s not inclined to keep a maiden when he has her alone. I bury my face into the fur of the leopard on my lap. The soft perfume of a stormy ocean wafts over me, sending my thoughts far away from this hell I call home.
Fifteen
Roan
“Li, you gave your word,” I say as Annalise releases Li from her hug. “You can’t let your feelings for the lass get in the way of what we have to do.”
“Easier said than done,” Li snaps back. “She was crying. And for heaven’s sake, she was sleeping naked just moments ago. How am I supposed to deal with that?”
“Ah, yes, that was lovely. Too bad none of us actually got to see anything. Not that the shape of her body pressed against mine wasn’t enough to get my blood pumping,” Ero says in a way that I can tell takes the piss out of Li.
“Just because your bond doesn’t jeopardize her safety in the same way doesn’t mean it won’t hurt her all the same,” Li says, his voice growing stony.
“No, but it lets me lie next to her beautiful, naked—”
That’s as far as Ero gets before we all launch into the air. The fight would be a blur to human eyes, but to us, it’s relatively easy to keep track of what’s happening. None of us actually draws blood, but I manage to catch Li’s jugular hard enough to make him yelp.
“Fine,” Li concedes as he slinks back to the other side of the room.
“That’s more like it,” I say, my mood brightening as I lumber over to Annalise’s side and roll onto my back. She doesn’t seem to notice, so I whine playfully at her. A low thing to do, but I want her to touch me. I’m not sure why, but I want Li to be angry. I want him to loathe the situation and use that anger to keep his distance.
Annalise’s hand spreads out against my abdomen and I quiver in delight. No wonder cats have such a hard time controlling their reactions to this kind of touch. She continues to rub me until I am unable to tolerate it any longer. She’s hit a spot that’s aroused me to the point of being unbearable. The beast in me reacts and I find myself wrapped around her with my limbs and my mouth.
I haven’t actually harmed her, but a moment later and I may have…or perhaps far worse in this beast form. I release her, the taste of her skin lingering on my tongue as I turn my back to her and prepare myself to enter my beast heart. I shift uncomfortably, the blood still coursing through me in arousal.
Focusing, I sink into my beast heart. The only way I can ignore the lass.
Sixteen
Annalise
The first rays of sunlight are beginning to stream through my windows when my door bursts open. I sit up, stretching, hoping to dispel any fear that I’ve been eaten in the night. It’s Miriam, as I had expected, but following close behind is the last person I want to see this early in the morning. Damien.
“Stand up,” he says, his voice thundering.
Miriam doesn’t look at me, her face burning red and her eyes downcast. Damien grabs my upper arm and yanks me toward him as I step from the bed, his eyes roving over every visible inch of me.
“Is it true,” Damien says. “You were sleeping naked with the leopards yesterday?”
I am taken aback by the question, but then realize Miriam must have said something. Although I really have no idea why it would matter to any of them.
“I was hot, so yes, I removed my shift to sleep,” I say. “I don’t see the harm in that.”
“The harm,” Damien growls, “is that I will not marry a whore.”
“I don’t see how me sleeping naked in my own room makes me any less of a decent woman,” I retort.
“We shall see about that,” Damien says, his grip on my arm turning vice-like as he steers me across the room to my bed.
The violet-eyed leopard quickly jumps off and moves a few feet away.
“Lay down a cloth,” Damien directs, and Miriam is quick to comply. The next moment Damien has lifted me into the air and placed my buttocks squarely on the strip of material covering part of my mattress.
“Lie down.”
I don’t move, a warning sprouting up in my stomach.
“I said, lie down,” Damien says through his teeth.
Again, I make no move to do so.
“My Lord,” Miriam says, her eyes still downcast and her demeanor like that of a naughty child.
Swinging around to face Miriam, Damien glares at her.
“What?”
“I…I think we should call the midwife,” she says, “to make it official.”
Damien raises his hand to strike her, but stops. “You’re right,” he says. “Fetch her at once. I’ll have this matter dealt with immediately. Bring all the required persons. Wake them if you must.”
Miriam rushes from the room and I am left awkwardly sitting on the bare bed in silence as Damien pulls up a chair a few paces away and stares at me. The leopards are watching too, but they almost seem to be poised to attack, much like the night before. I guess they’re not very fond of Damien either.
A half hour passes and not once has Damien shifted his dark eyes from me. I’ve done my best to cover myself in the torn shift I’m wearing, unsure of who will be next to walk through my doorway.
Footsteps echo down the hall and I tense. Miriam enters first, followed by a woman I’ve never seen before, as well as several guards, Father’s physician, and the royal messenger. Both the physician and messenger look away when they realize how little I’m wearing, but the rest stand unperturbed by my appearance.
“Begin,” Damien says without so much as a glance toward the small crowd of people.
“Very well,” the unknown woman says as she steps over to one side of me. “Lie down, child. This will only hurt a little.”
“What?” I ask shakily. “What will hurt?”
“Oh,” she says, shooting an evil side-eye at Damien who doesn’t care to notice. “I see you haven’t been prepared. I am here to verify that you, well, your maidenhead is intact.”
I’m aghast, I had forgotten this was one of his conditions. I hadn’t actually expected him to follow through with such an outdated and humiliating practice.
“Go on, child,” she says gently. “The sooner we start, the sooner it will be over.”
“Do they all have to watch?” I ask as
I count nearly seven other people in the room.
“No, of course not, you will turn your body to face me. They are merely here as witnesses to my findings.”
I turn my body to face her, as slowly as I can manage without it seeming like I’m stalling. I watch as the violet-eyed leopard moves to the other side of the room, as though he wants to give me as much privacy as possible. Perhaps he can just sense my discomfort.
“I’ve…No one has…I’ve never…” I say, but the words I want to say don’t quite make it out.
“Of course. Now, lie down and I’ll have this done faster than a trip to the privy.”
I lie down, shutting my eyes tight against whatever is about to happen. I wish she’d stop calling me child; it only makes the whole situation that much more uncomfortable. She moves my legs up into a bent position, but not without a great deal of pushback on my part. I feel my shift slipping down toward my stomach and quickly grab at it to keep from revealing myself to the room.
“Child, this would go a whole lot faster if you would relax,” she says, pulling at my knees to part them.
She’s much stronger than she looks, and she’s soon managed to pry my legs apart. I can feel the cool morning air mixing with the heat between my legs as I try not to think about what’s happening. I know many women go through this before their wedding day, but I had hoped I’d be an exception.
I turn my head to further detach myself from the situation only to find Damien still staring at me, his face motionless, just as her fingers find my honeypot. She’s gentle with me, but the whole experience is no less traumatic. What may have only been a minute feels like days as I wait to take back ownership of myself.