by Alice Wilde
I push myself away, however reluctantly.
“No. I am no one’s but my own,” I say, knowing he didn’t mean any harm by it. “But, if perhaps the two of you wanted to be mine…”
Shock crosses over their faces as they look at me and then each other before shrugging.
“I’ll have you any way of your choosing, as long as I can have you,” Ero says as he shifts his body against mine.
Roan rolls his eyes, but moves closer, his arm sliding across my waist. I want them to kiss me. I want to feel the love and desire I have wished for for so long. I want them to hold me.
“Enough,” a deep, commanding voice says as Ero and Roan are shoved aside.
Deep violet eyes look down into mine. He places strong, gentle hands against my temples, massaging my head.
“Sleep, Annalise.”
And I do.
The sound of birds wakes me and I sit up, stretching. The warm, soft bodies of my leopards are still curled up beside me. Well, at least two of them are.
Across the room, looking out one of the windows, is the third. He turns when he hears movement but doesn’t approach me, instead padding over to my other bed and curling up on it.
A shiver of delight runs down my spine as I remember the pleasure of last night’s dream. I just wish my dreams wouldn’t end so abruptly. If I can’t escape Damien, if I have to be bound to him, then my mind could at least do me the courtesy of giving me one full dream to hold on to. At least then I could imagine my first time had been with a being…beings I cared for.
The familiar key at the door alerts me to Miriam’s arrival and I stand, waiting for the day’s ritual to begin. Although, why I have to be dressed and fussed over when I’m not even allowed out of my room…
Miriam enters and places a plate and mug on a table, then hurries over to me and removes my nightgown, replacing it with a long shift, and then a heavy white dress. This time the sleeves dangle to the floor, nearly dragging. I can’t imagine how anyone could be useful wearing something like this, but I suppose I won’t be doing anything useful anytime soon. My hair is wrapped but kept down in two long braids. Miriam huffs, and I take that to mean she’s done with me for now.
I go to pick at the food that’s been brought to me while she starts taking up the bedclothes from the floor. Then I understand why. Damien means for me to stay awake all day, locked in this prison of a room with almost nothing to do. Even the choice to sleep has been taken from me. My appetite is gone, replaced with burning rage.
The sound of jingling keys announces Miriam’s departure. I inhale sharply.
“Keys!” I nearly shout at no one in particular.
My leopards shy at the sound, startled.
“Sorry,” I say, “but I’ve just figured out how we’re going to get out of here.”
They look at me curiously, their heads cocked to the side as if waiting to hear what I have to say next.
“Miriam. Miriam has her own set of keys. All I have to do is find a way to take them while she’s not paying attention, and then we can escape when the castle has gone quiet for the night.”
Relief and excitement wash over me like a warm summer rain. All was not lost, not yet. I spin around, my stomach unclenching at the prospect of escape. I return to my meal and finish it, savoring every sweet bite.
I spend the rest of the day trying to read one of the few books still hidden in my room, but my mind is racing. Where will I go? How will I get there? What should I bring? What about my leopards? Then I remember the note Rosa gave me. Father.
I can’t just leave. As much as I want to run as fast and as far away from this place as possible, I can’t. If the king really is being poisoned, I have to try to help him. My heart sinks and my stomach knots again. But, and my heart lifts slightly, if I bring the poisoning to Father’s attention and save him, perhaps he will call the whole marriage off. I have to try.
“Sorry, my pets,” I say. “Looks like we’re not going to be running away, not just yet.”
I replace the book I’ve been trying to read and start hatching a plan on how I’m going to get to Father. I know it’s risky, but I can’t just leave if there’s even the slightest possibility Father can be saved. He’s the only family I have left.
I walk the length of the room, my leopards still watching.
“If only we could really talk, not just in my dreams.”
I stop and turn to face them, pointing my finger at the emerald-eyed leopard.
“You’re Roan.”
Even if it was only a dream, the names are nice, and it makes me feel closer to them.
“And you,” I say shifting to point at the blue-eyed leopard. “Let me think. Yes, you’re Ero, right?”
He cocks his head to the side as if trying to understand what I’m saying, but then starts preening his fur.
I sigh. “Well, even if it’s all in my head, at least you’ll all have your own names now.”
I walk back across the room to my old bed, where the third leopard is still curled up. I don’t know what makes me do it, but I jump up and run both my hands through the fur from the base of his spine to his neck. His whole body trembles beneath my hands as he raises his lovely violet eyes to look at me.
“Hello, Li,” I whisper, kissing his nose.
The expression on his face is almost human, and I watch as a mix of emotions seems to roll through him. I am sure I can sense pain, not physical pain, but heartbreak, and suddenly, I’m feeling it too.
I try to cradle him in my arms, but he pulls away and bounds to the other end of the room. I only wish I knew why he had such a hard time being around me, especially when Roan and Ero have been so welcoming. Sometimes too welcoming.
“Well, if you change your mind,” I call to Li, “I’m not going anywhere. Unfortunately.”
I lay back on the bare mattress and sigh, allowing myself to daydream about the men from my fantasies again.
Twenty-One
Li
This game of emotions we’re playing is growing more dangerous with each passing day. We haven’t been taken Annalise’s room, but instead to an underground bathhouse. Damien is waiting for us.
“There you are. I was starting to wonder if you’d forgotten what would happen to you if you venture too far from me.”
Damien waves his hand and our collars tighten, the needles driving themselves into our necks just enough to make a steady stream of blood trickle down our throats.
“You won’t have to worry about Annalise much longer. Once I’ve wedded and bedded her, the bond will be complete. The legend will be fulfilled and you’ll no longer be of immediate use to me. Of course, I may still need to draw from your powers, but I’ve prepared a much less bothersome place to keep you.”
I growl, and I hear the others growling as well.
“Annalise is growing fond of you, as I had hoped she would.”
I stop growling, my interest piqued.
“You forget that I am linked with you in much the same way you are to me, albeit as master to beast. I can feel her attachment growing. The magic flowing through her blood is intoxicating, and it grows with each passing day spent among you. Foolish girl, the very beasts she’s giving her heart to will be her downfall.”
I knew our bond to her was dangerous, but for the first time, it’s clear why I’ve felt this way. Damien is growing cocky now that his scheme is so close to coming into fruition. He’s hinted at things in the past, but I’ve never heard him detail anything about the curse before.
We have always been kept alongside Damien, never out of sight, and certainly never given to the woman he was preying on. He must have deciphered a lost piece of the legend, or maybe he had sensed the bond between us at the same time we did. Something we never had with any of the other decidedly non-magic, and now, decidedly dead women.
He has ruled kingdoms, however briefly, much larger than this, but his raving madness and greed for the magic described in the Book of Lethe has kept him hunting, preying
on young royals in search of the one.
Maybe, just maybe, if we can make Annalise unbind from us before the wedding, then we can sever the magic and save her life.
Pain shoots through my head as I’m hit hard over the head. Reeling, I try to regain my balance as Ero and Roan meet the same fate.
“Now, get in the water,” Damien says, tossing a pole to the floor and snapping his fingers.
Six maids file into the room, standing quietly as they wait for further instruction.
“Scrub them until they beg for mercy, filthy beasts.”
And with that, Damien sweeps out of the room.
The next hour is brutally unpleasant. Our wounds have already healed—injuries nearly never leave lasting damage—but the bloodstains take a bit longer to fade. The women are thorough, washing every inch of us until I’m sure they’ve rubbed away our fur and skin.
“We have to protect Annalise,” Ero says, finally breaking the long silence.
“Li, ye ken you’re the only one who can,” Roan says.
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder, damn it. Her life is at stake, and you’re the only one with enough control over the bond to possibly make a difference,” Ero snaps.
I growl. The two women washing me shrink away in fear. I know they’re right, but I can’t help but hope that what I feel for her is…real.
Cao.
What did I do to deserve this fate?
Annalise. As soon as I see her, my resolve toward her is already wavering. I don’t want to hurt her, but I need to. I won’t be able to live with myself if harm comes to her and I have a chance to stop it.
A searing pain rings around my neck, forcing me to bare my teeth in agony. A deep growl escapes my chest. I hadn’t intentionally meant to frighten Annalise, but she’s obviously shaken. I slink away, reassuring myself that it’s for the best. I curl up on the bed and try to rest, but inside I’m in turmoil.
I’m suddenly awakened by voices. Roan and Ero. They’re arguing over Annalise. Great, just what I want to deal with when I’m already having a hard enough time keeping away from her. I’m just about to get up when I freeze.
Did…did she just respond to them? I look over at them, their bodies close in the moonlight. For a split second, I’m unable to comprehend what I’m seeing. Then I understand. Her bond with us is becoming more powerful than I had realized. She’s starting to be able to see our true forms. Or, perhaps, she’s becoming more like us? All I know for sure is that it has to stop. I quickly step over to her, hoping she doesn’t have time to process my naked form, although I still only see my own leopard body.
I make a quick assessment and press firmly on her temples and certain points around her head.
“Sleep, Annalise.”
I check to make sure she’s fallen into a sleep state before turning on the others.
“Did you seriously just try to seduce her?”
“Ouch, try? She was already seduced,” Ero says haughtily.
“It’s not a joke.”
“Ay, but lighten up. She thought it was a dream,” Roan says playfully.
I look at him, my face stony and cold. “What if you had mated? What if you had sealed the bond? It seems like a dream to her, but you just put her in very real danger.”
Ero and Roan look away in shame.
“You’re right. The lass was in very real danger,” Roan says.
“How do you do it, Li? One minute Roan and I are all for protecting her; the next, we’re about to murder her with sex.”
I’m annoyed with Ero’s phrasing, but I can’t tell if it’s so much the phrasing or my own jealousy at the thought.
“I only think about her.”
“What do you mean?” Ero asks laughing, “I’m pretty sure we’re all just thinking about her.”
“No,” I say, my teeth grinding. “Your thoughts are focused on you, and how you want her. Your thoughts are selfish.”
Ero’s face blushes.
“When I say I think of her, I mean her. Her safety, her wellbeing, her future. I want her just as badly as you, but not at the risk of her life. And I would not take her while she believes it is just a dream.”
“I hadn’t thought…” Roan trails off, his head hanging in shame.
“Damn it, Li,” Ero says. “You’re right. It won’t happen again.”
“It better not.”
Twenty-Two
Annalise
In total, Miriam comes three times. Once in the morning, to bring me breakfast, dress me, and take away the old bedding. Once in the afternoon, to take away the morning dishes and give me a small lunch. And once in the evening.
I’ve spent the entire day trying to think of some way to get the keys from her without her knowing, but only after coming up with an elaborate plan of diversion do I realize that she would still need to use the keys to lock the door when she left.
I eat my supper while I watch endless pails of milk get delivered to my room and poured into a small wooden tub. Miriam heats the milk by the fire and prepares a bath of warm milk, rose petals, and honey. I can’t help thinking it looks and smells more like a sweet dessert than something I should be bathing in. Miriam helps me out of the heavy day dress and I shed my silk shift and step into the tub. I’m pleasantly surprised by the sensation. The milk is thick and creamy, and as I lay down in the mixture, I feel like I’m sliding into a deliciously warm silken bed.
Miriam is much gentler with my skin today. Instead of scrubbing, she uses a soft cloth to make sure every inch of skin is washed in the milky concoction. She makes sure to soak my hair in the mixture as well before braiding and wrapping it around my head. I get out of the tub and a new nightgown is given to me to dress in. She then prepares a hot mug of licorice tea and leaves me to drink it as she prepares my bedding for the night. I notice she makes my proper bed, not the one I’ve been preferring on the floor as of late.
As she finishes, she returns to me and checks my mug. I quickly gulp it down, wondering why I hadn’t tried to find a way to pour it out while she wasn’t directly paying attention to me. Satisfied with my behavior, she takes the dishes from me and leaves, locking the door behind her.
I sigh. One day down, one day closer to my wedding, and I’m no closer to figuring out a way to escape than I was before. Walking over to my bed, I pull all the carefully placed bedding from it and drag it over to the alcove. I lie down in the mess of quilts and pillows and let my mind go quiet. Ero and Roan lie down next to me, but not as close as they usually do. I look for Li, but he’s taken his usual spot on my old bed.
I have to find a way out.
For Rosa.
For Father.
For my leopards.
The next two days turn into a routine of boredom. I skim through all the books I can find still hidden in my room that might have any semblance of usefulness, but find nothing. I’m not sure how much longer I can stay trapped in this room before I go insane.
It’s hard to eat. When I do manage to get something down, it doesn’t stay down for long. The licorice tea doesn’t help matters. I know most of it is because I’m sick with worry about my impending marriage to a devil of a man and my failure so far to devise an escape plan. On top of all this, my leopards have been distant with me.
I feel so alone, and so helpless.
I trip over the hem of my gown and fall into the edge of a table. The world dims and my mind slows to a standstill.
“She’ll be okay, but there will be some heavy bruising around the eye. She’s just lucky those leopards were there or she may not have been found soon enough.”
I don’t recognize the voice. My head is spinning. I try to open my eyes, but all I can see is darkness.
“She’s moving.”
Damien. I wish I hadn’t woken.
“Ah, yes, good. See, I told you there was nothing to worry about.”
“A black eye isn’t anything to worry about? How am I supposed to wed her looking like that? You call yourself
a physician?”
Good. I don’t want to marry you either. If only a black eye would keep us apart forever, I’d trip into things every day. I reach up to touch my face and find a bandage wrapped around my eyes, at least that explains why I can’t see anything. A hand stops me from pulling at the bandages. I flinch but quickly realize it’s not Damien.
This hand is thin, cold, trembling.
“Leave the bandage, daughter.”
My heart leaps into my throat. Of all bad fortune turned good.
“Where am I?”
“You’re in my chambers,” Father says quietly, his voice shaking and weary. “I’m afraid I’ve not been well of late. None of the potions are working anymore. So, I told them to treat you here.”
“What happened?”
“You seem to have tried bashing your own head in,” Damien replies, his tone accusatory. “I rushed you here after a maid thought she heard your leopards tearing each other apart and came to get me.”
“What?”
“They’re fine, minor damage. You just sent them into a frenzy with your blood all over the floor.”
Blood? How is everyone being so calm? Here I am, lying on a table being told I was bleeding all over the floor, and now my eyes are wrapped in bandages.
“How long has it been?”
“About four hours,” Damien replies shortly.
“Are my eyes—” I say, not wanting to finish the question. “Can I still see?”
The physician laughs, sending agonizing waves of pain shooting through my head.
“Oh yes, of course. You are just sensitive to light. You should be fine with a day or two of rest and careful watch. Although, I can’t for the life of me find what caused you to bleed all over the floor.”
“We were to be wed in two days,” Damien growls.
“Then I suggest you change the day,” the physician replies. “I need to keep her here for observation. After all, I can’t very well be in two places at once with His Majesty requiring my services as well.”