by Natti Ronel
Most of us, when something good touches us for a moment, feel good. Sometimes with greater intensity, and sometimes, when we have loud internal noise, with a little less. A good deed, directed towards us with undemanding vigor, usually makes us happy. It may arouse in us a sense of gratitude or other positive emotions, and may even stimulate a simple and agreeable love of mankind, since a good deed can be infectious -- somebody gives to us and we sometimes feel the urge to pass it on. The human goodness that we encounter for a moment, directed towards us, introduces us to a whole world of goodness of which we are a part. At such moments, we are less concerned with the motives of the person who gives to us, but instead, we immerse ourselves in the human warmth that arises in us out of human closeness. The person who gives to us is seen by us as an exemplar of pure altruistic behavior, although there are some who regard all behavior that seems altruistic as essentially a selfish act. Let them carry on with this outlook. When we experience the human warmth when somebody gives to us of himself or herself, the sensation of love directed towards us for a brief moment and arousing in us the love that exists in us in the same measure, we have a human sharing in the nucleus of love, and everything is simple and clear for a moment. As somebody once told me: a woman he didn’t know showed him a gesture of goodwill which shook him with its simple straightforwardness. Amid the pleasant experience of human warmth, the thought that occurred to him was -- there are good people in the world. And the corollary to this was his desire to be one of these good people and return the equivalent favor, which he subsequently did. This is a part of the healing power of love.
The good that returns to us
When we have the good fortune to receive love in the form of a human gift, as I have described, this is wonderful. Without any doubts or reservations. And yet, this is an experience that depends on what somebody else has given to us, in other words, its source is in something external, in the giving behavior directed towards us, which can also arouse the love that exists in us. Are we capable of arousing the good experience that is within us, without being dependent on the good behavior of somebody else? How do we do it? This sounds like a challenge, but it turns out that this is very simple, perhaps the simplest of all the tools that we’ve described so far. So simple, and for that reason, our self-centeredness is immediately disturbed, protesting and doing anything rather than use the “Promoting Good” tool, which all at once offers us the chance to move away from ourselves. This tool is relatively advanced, when we already have the ability to distinguish self-centeredness, and a clear aspiration is aroused in us to move away from it. We also have a degree of experience in not listening to it and seeing beyond it.
In order to encounter grace, we behave with grace. All that we need to do is behave with grace and promote the good that is directed towards somebody else, or towards the world at large -- including animals, the environment, society -- everything that is in the world. Then we have grace in our lives, in abundance. All at once, we become a part of the good that we are working to promote, and it comes back to us, unsolicited. This is as simple as it sounds, without anecdotes, without interpretations -- we can work to promote good when we forget for a moment the considerations of self-centeredness, and all at once there is awakened in us the nucleus of grace and love, which always exists. It rises up of its own volition, and if we know how to pay attention to it and make space for it, we can find it inside ourselves without effort. That is the purpose of this tool: “Promoting Good.”
We shall repeat the simple idea: in order to experience all the good that we experience when somebody gives to us of himself or herself, all that we need to do is to promote goodness in the world, unconditionally, and demanding nothing in return. A giving that is for a brief moment independent of ourselves. The rest can happen by itself. This is the meaning of grace.
Reb Noson (Rabbi Nathan Sternhertz) credits his teacher, Rabbi Nachman of Bratzslav, with the statement, “There is interest in all things turning to the good.” Usually we understand this saying as meaning that there is a good ending which is found hidden in things, even when we don’t really know yet or don’t feel they are good for us. There is something good in things which we don’t see, and in the end, there will be a good outcome, even when at present it seems otherwise. A perceptive and optimistic view, but when we look at the world with materialistic eyes, it reflects reality only partially. There is pain in the world, and things don’t always develop as we would like them to, and sometimes the pain only intensifies. On the other hand, it is clear that the statement reflects spiritual reality, the will of God, and everything that happens in the world is for the good, and even unavoidable pain has spiritual importance, even though sometimes it’s hard for us to see and understand this.
But the statement of Rabbi Nachman can be understood in a rather different way, proposing a different order of things. According to this interpretation, the very interest is in things turning to the good. In other words, there is a universal wish that at any moment the situation, events, or things will be to the good. The current wish at this moment is to promote good, without thinking about results or the outcome of events. When we understand it this way, the statement of Rabbi Nachman is dissociated from any outcome that we accept or don’t accept in the world, but it also guides us so that we ourselves will have an interest and desire that everything will turn to the good. Thus, we are “streaming” in a sublime spiritual direction and turning into a part of it. The statement is directed towards us and towards what we want from ourselves and from the world. This offers us the possibility of knowing how it is worthy and worthwhile to be in the world -- with the intention of promoting good. Here we return once more to the basic distinction -- the distinction between “how” and “what.” The desire to promote good, or the interest we have in everything turning to the good, speaks of the way in which we function in the world and relate to it, to our “how.” The ending that comes out well is the “what.” The ending itself, the result that our activity achieves in the world, is not entirely under our control, but we can direct the way in which we operate. When we work to promote good, even for a moment, by doing this we’ve already attained the good, we’ve already encountered the grace that we wanted to encounter.
Why promote good?
The tool for promoting good is like the Australian boomerang -- we set the deed in motion and it comes back to us with added impetus. Like the boomerang, which is a deadly weapon to the opposition and an asset to the one who throws it, promoting good returns to us with energy that makes us happy and can be lethal to self-centeredness. When we have the right intentions and work to promote good, it is possible to identify the principle known as the “Helper Therapy Principle” -- the fact that when a person works to help others, this activity benefits the doer and sometimes the other as well. When we are wondering how to promote good in the world, spontaneously we leave ourselves for a moment; stop worrying about our pain, distress, anger and even fear, or our desires and expectations. The repeated experience of promoting good develops in us the ability to put ourselves to one side, to defer personal gratification or the focusing on personal pain, and it also develops the ability to move out of ourselves and away from self-centeredness.
While experiencing the promotion of good, we learn about our very ability to promote good, and sometimes this ability is not well-developed in us. I have met many people who were concerned with their day-to-day struggles and engrossed in their self-centeredness, to such an extent that they weren’t accustomed to thinking about promoting good, and didn’t even believe they had this ability. On the other hand, to start promoting good, even to a limited extent and on a small scale, can influence the shape of our thinking, and as its influence grows, it may change the shape of our experience of the world. In the course of action, we see that we are capable of bringing about positive benefits and being good. Usually, we gain the approval of others, but in this there is the danger of becoming dependent on approval a
nd seeking it out. Then it is no longer a case of clean promotion of good, but what the social sciences call pro-social behavior. This has many benefits, but it is liable to become a give-and-take transaction. Promoting good can start from this, but the goal to which it aspires is quite different, the goal of divergence from any request for recompense, even for appreciation. If it’s accepted -- that’s fine, and if it isn’t accepted -- that’s fine too.
Good by its very nature draws good to itself. Engagement in promoting good creates new possibilities for us which we knew little about, if we knew they existed at all. Such engagement also creates new human encounters, sincere, clean encounters which are not only commercial encounters, involving competition or exploitation; it makes it possible to encounter in others the good that exists in them, and strengthen it together without becoming dependent on it. Thus, more and more, we are living the grace that we want to encounter.
Doing good -- intention and practice
The tool, “Promoting Good” refers first of all to motives, to our intentions in the world, and it suggests intentions which seek to promote good. The assumption is that the very intention is already starting to create good. The intention to improve is a kind of essence of our being, asking how we are situated in the world and what is important to us. It’s a way of looking at the world and at others and seeking to be good to them, liberated from concern about what they will give us or from fear that they will take from us. The intention to promote good in the world establishes an order of preferences that sidelines self-centeredness and is prepared to move away from itself and into the world, for the good of the world. On the other hand, if all that is left is the wonderful intention, it is liable to be somewhat lacking. Let’s imagine a man sitting at ease in his comfortable house, intending good things with all his heart, while close by some other person is in pain. The person sitting in his house knows this but does nothing to help; He just means well. How is it possible not to help someone in need who lives so close? Intention directs us toward action, the doing of good. The action of doing good influences the world a little or a great deal, and it influences us profoundly. It strengthens the intention towards good, and the good essence that fills us even more. Intention and action complement and strengthen each other, thus: being good means doing good, and doing good means being good.
The doing of good without appropriate intention is a situation in which we don’t aspire to avoid self-centeredness, and self-centered motives guide us towards an action which is perceived to be good. But self-centeredness is liable to take even firmer control, and then the action is less good and may even be the opposite. A common example is one where people offer help to one another with the primary motive of doing good, but they try to impose the help in a certain way, which doesn’t suit the person being helped, and conflict between them is the result. We see this very often between married couples and in families, as well as among friends. There is a primary intention to help, and willingness to work in an improving way with the other, but self-centeredness takes over and the person who is helping feels insulted that his help hasn’t been accepted in the way he expected. Another example is that of people doing good for another because it’s their job but without any profound intention; the action can be technical, professional, and lacking the departure from themselves towards the one who needs their services.
The intention towards good in which there is no action leaves us inside ourselves and is liable to lead to arrogance, almost as if we are intoxicated by our good intentions, and self-centeredness is strengthened by this. Sometimes we encounter good intentions without action in the case of ultra-moralists, who criticize the morals of others out of their sublime and impregnable self-righteousness, which is intention rather than doing. We remember a verse from the New Testament (Epistle of James, 2, 26) which has been adopted by AA: “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” Intention and action work together to promote good, by the very fact of the match between them, without depending on the result. This match is proposed to us by the “Promoting Good” tool, which points to good work that is directed towards goodness. The spiritual principle of the good receives expression in our material world, which is the means by which we grow, from a spiritual perspective too. So, how do we promote good in the world?
As a starting point, we can imagine ourselves working and promoting good, using our creative imagination in an exercise of positive thinking and seeing the doing of good. Thus, we create a certain habit of thinking in a way that seeks to promote good. This thinking creates a defensive wall in the mind, excluding other thoughts. When we turn our attention to the good of others, near and far away, strangers, all of them in fact, the intention promotes love inside us. Since thought is action, a good intention is positive action. When it becomes a habit, part of our being, exercising it creates a continuing positive influence. However, sometimes a good intention is insufficient, therefore positive activity in the world should complete it, and this activity can further strengthens our ability to think positively.
The “Promoting Good” tool is a tool of positive action, and it isn’t a tool of abstinence from causing injury. Abstaining from causing injury belongs to the first tool that we discussed -- abstinence. Harming others is always a “No.” Promoting good is a supplementary tool which directs us towards what we should think and do, positively.
The act of promoting good is an act of giving that is done for itself, and it doesn’t expect or look for a specific outcome. The desire for a result, even one that is good for others, is liable to be a little compulsive. It’s liable to be the starting-point of self-centeredness, which is likely to increase when we’re not satisfied with the result; we’ll complain and accept something completely different from what we had in mind. In order to promote good, we strive to free ourselves from all expectation of a result or a recompense. We imply work for good in a way that does credit to everyone involved in the work. When we perceive that in the world there’s an opening through which it’s possible to promote good -- for example, someone needs help, and by chance or not by chance we happen to be on hand, we may be thankful for the opportunity to promote good, doing what is needed without making a story out of it. We’ll also try not to tell ourselves how good we are. We give because we have identified in the world a need or a possibility, and we’re happy to give of what we have, which will be even more abundant as we intend and work for good. Giving that wants to promote good without expecting anything in return is a kind of “gift in secret” (Proverbs 21, 14), and it applies even when the action is revealed. In other words, we don’t tell ourselves or others that we gave to others out of the goodness of our hearts. We do what seems right to us and we carry on. In addition to specific spiritual exercises, acting to promote good constitutes a basic and progressive spiritual practice in most traditions. Without it, all progress comes with a question-mark attached.
Action which tries to be liberated from expectation of reward or a result expresses the perception of the “Just for Today” tool, which deals with action in the present with attention to good in the future, but stresses the aspiration not to expect anything. The desire to do good is in the present, “just for today.” Good activity also reflects the Serenity Prayer -- accepting with serenity that we can intend and can do good works, but the results aren’t under our control. Likewise, the activity of doing good that is free from expectation of reward expresses the principle: “What’s mine -- is mine; what’s theirs -- is theirs.” Our part is to give out of the intention to promote good. What will happen with our gift, what they will do with it, those who receive it -- that’s up to them. We work and hope for their good, but we certainly don’t want there to be dependence between us. What happens to them -- is theirs and is determined by many factors, some in our hands and some not. But it’s theirs. We focus on our intention to promote good and on the act of giving.
Possibilities of giving
Ther
e are various kinds of giving: casual giving, regular giving and giving as a way of life. The first, casual giving, comes when we identify a situation in the world, a possibility or a need for doing and giving that will promote good, we “go with the flow” and give, without asking for recompense, without thinking about it afterwards or expecting any result.
The second, regular giving, is when we put the act of giving into our order of the day, often in the form of volunteering for some activity aimed at promoting good in the world. It’s very much worthwhile volunteering for “Promoting Good” activities on a regular basis, according to our daily routine. Regular volunteering guarantees that some of the time, at least, we are participating in acts of promoting good. As with the tool, “Choosing in Advance,” we create a plan in which we work to promote good, and then the good work is free from dependence on the vagaries of life, emotional and other conditions. Participation in regular voluntary work, once a week, for example, helps us to put aside excuses and considerations of self-centeredness. It’s impossible to exaggerate the value of such volunteering for us; from all points of view, it helps us to move away from ourselves. With its help, we incorporate the “helper-therapy” principle as an inseparable part of the regular order of our day. It’s simple, and it works. It’s recommended that all people look for an opportunity for regular voluntary giving, in which the intention will be to promote good in a way that doesn’t look for any result.
There is one reservation: voluntary work can express very well the tool “Promoting Good,” but sometimes it expresses something else. There’s a possibility that volunteers may be liable to fall into self-centeredness, and then they find themselves competing with other people to impose their personal agenda on them, however good it may be. Unfortunately, self-centeredness emerges in most of us at a high frequency, and you can see it in almost every place where people volunteer for the sake of an idea or an ideology. Even if the agenda is perceived by them as an important thing which will promote good further, the interpersonal rivalry damages the good intention. It’s clear that every activity of promoting good has some agenda, but it doesn’t occur to us that it may contradict itself and hurt people, which happens too often. Regular voluntary work should be done without expectation of any result, otherwise the grace in it is blocked. Human history and experience are full of combative ideologies which look for a certain outcome in the name of goodness; some of them even boast of quasi-spiritual intentions, as with different religions for example, but there are some which actually cause pain and distress. Spiritual intention will always want grace for all, and therefore, it will seek to promote good without discriminating between people or societies or beliefs. Spiritual intention expects nothing in return and doesn’t try to impose a certain outcome, however attractive it may be. The “Promoting Good” tool is very simple and it remains consistent: we’ll promote good, freed from anticipation of recompense or result, without compulsion, out of intuitive understanding that we will do to others and to the world what we consider to be desirable and agreeable and refrain from doing to them or to the world what we don’t consider to be desirable and agreeable.