Broken (Nick #1)

by Annie Jocoby

  I looked at her, I knew that we did have a woman that gorgeous. I knew when I first saw her. Yes, she was even more beautiful than usual, but, I knew my Scotty when I saw her. She had a new haircut, new shoes, new jewelry, a new dress, but she was still…my Scotty. My beautiful Scotty.

  At some point, Ava noticed my staring. How could she not? I was blatantly looking at Scotty, as if she was the only person in the room. Because, to me, she was just that. The only person in the room. I literally could not quit staring at her, no matter how hard I tried. I mean, I tried to look at George and his wife, and at Ava, and what they were saying, but I inevitably found myself staring at her….Scotty.

  For her part, she wasn’t looking at me, at all. She came in the room holding hands with Robin, the other intern, and I, at first, thought that Robin might have been her dreaded “date.” But, I soon found that, with Robin flirting with every boy in the place, this was not true. Scotty, unlike myself, appeared not to be bisexual. When Robin made her rounds, Scotty stood to the side, looking awkward for a few minutes, then some guy would make his way over, and she would look even more awkwardly towards him, trying to put on an interested-girl act for him. But I knew better.

  I found myself drifting towards her, almost inevitably. I didn’t consciously decide to drift towards her, but I found myself being almost pulled towards her, almost like she was like a magnetic field that was pulling me in. I talked to Ralph, then to Thomas and then to Bob, all of them being closer and closer to her. She was just standing there, in the corner, awkwardly looking at the crowd, while one man after another came up to talk to her. She was polite, I could see that. But that’s all she was. She didn’t flirt with anybody, in spite of how she looked.

  She saw me approaching, and she looked away. But I saw her cheeks flush, and I got more excited. Her actions towards me, in blowing me off, receded in the background, as I stared at her luscious lips, longing to feel my own on them.

  Then, just when I was within a few feet of her, Shane intervened. Shane, who apparently dated her, when Scotty had the excuse that she couldn’t date me, because she didn’t want to date anybody. Yet, she went out with him. Him. Now, he was at her side, putting his arm around her.

  I saw that, and saw that Scotty didn’t push him away, and I immediately felt disgusted with myself. Again, pining away for a woman that didn’t want me. Who wanted somebody else. I turned my back and headed back to my table.

  I got back there, and Ava was talking with George and his wife. She turned to me when I approached the table. “Where did you go off to?” she asked.

  “Uh, to the bathroom. I really had to go all of a sudden. Sorry about that.”

  “Not a problem. George and Paulina and I were just talking about some of the projects your firm has in the pipeline. Pretty interesting stuff.”

  I nodded my head, my eyes still completely trained on Scotty. I literally couldn’t take my eyes off of her, while I watched her talking to one man after another.

  I thought I saw her looking at me, but then realized I was imagining it.

  Chapter 50

  Scotty

  I took a deep breath as Robin and I approached the restaurant. I didn’t feel comfortable, showing so much skin, but I drank a few margaritas at her apartment. This calmed me down considerably.

  As we entered the restaurant, Robin grabbed my hand playfully. “Come on, Scotty, let’s get people talking,” she said with a grin. She was pretty tipsy by then, even more than me.

  I scanned the crowd for Nick, and then my heart sank into my shoes as I saw him at George’s table with his arm around a beautiful brunette. I tried to blink back my tears and put on a happy face, but it was difficult. So, I decided that I wouldn’t look in his direction. I didn’t want to start crying in front of all of these people.

  To my dismay, Robin left my side, to go and flirt, the second we hit the restaurant. So much for her and I sticking together tonight. I didn’t know why I thought that she would stick with me, but that’s what I was hoping for. Now I was all alone and feeling awkward.

  Even more to my dismay, I found various men coming up and talking to me. Some were interns, others were associates. Even a few partners made their way up to talk to me. I tried to keep a smile on my face, but I was feeling so awkward and alone at that moment, I couldn’t stand it. And I had to make a very purposeful decision not to look in Nick’s direction, lest I burst into tears.

  A date. He has a date. I sighed. Of course he has a date. As if somebody who looks like that wouldn’t.

  To make matters worse, Portia was in the house, of course. I saw her staring at Nick, then looking over at me suspiciously. She leaned in to whisper to her date for the evening, who was a guy that I recognized, because he played for the Giants. He was kind of a superstar. Then she looked at me again, and over to Nick. She shook her head, then turned her back and started sipping her drink again.

  At some point, Shane came up and talked to me. He put his arm around me and whispered into my ear. “You look beautiful, Scotty. Stunning. Every guy in this room is noticing you.”

  I tried to be polite, so I didn’t try to remove his arm from around my shoulder. I had no desire to make a scene. “Thank you, Shane,” I said.

  I could smell the distinct odor of whiskey on his breath. He rattled around the ice in his drink, and took a sip and started crunching on some of the ice. “I never apologized for my boorish behavior that night. I’m sorry, Scotty. I don’t know what got into me.”

  “Bygones,” I said.

  “Well, thanks for that.”

  I was extremely uncomfortable with Shane’s arm around my shoulder. I knew that there was a rumor going around that he and I were going out. At least there was. So, I needed to shut that down tout de suite. I couldn’t have Nick hearing about that.

  Just then, it hit me. How obtuse was I? Nick had heard about it! Of course! That was why he was treating me so poorly.

  If Nick didn’t have a date there that night, I would’ve gone right over to his table and ask to speak with him in private. Tell him that I went out with Shane because I wanted to go to the film festival, not because I wanted to be with Shane. Perhaps that would make him treat me better, knowing that I didn’t prefer Shane over him at all. Maybe I could tell him that my feelings for him had not dimmed, despite his cruel treatment over these past few weeks. If anything, my feelings for him had only gotten stronger, if that was even possible.

  But, as Jack would say, if ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we’d all have a Merry Fucking Christmas. Nick did have a date there that night, and that was that.

  Just then, I looked over a Nick, and his beautiful date had her arm around his neck and was whispering in his ear. He smiled and whispered something back.

  He doesn’t even know that I’m alive anymore.

  I was so engrossed with staring at Nick and his date that I didn’t even notice that Shane still had his arm around me and was talking to me in a low voice.

  “So, what do you say you and I cut out of his place? Go back to my apartment? I mean, I live in SoHo, so we’d have to take a cab there. But I’ll spring for the cab.”

  I just looked at him. What he was saying was barely registering with me, as I was so upset about Nick. I simply nodded my head. “Uh, I’ll be right back. I need to get some air.”

  To my dismay, Shane followed me out the door.

  I got on the sidewalk and started walking. Shane was right there next to me. I started to walk a bit faster, and Shane kept up. Doesn’t this guy get the hint?

  Unfortunately, he got a hint. It was the wrong one, or he was interpreting it wrong. “Wait up, Scotty, you’re walking too fast.”

  “Uh, on second thought, let’s go back to the restaurant,” I said. Then I started walking, just as fast, back towards the restaurant.

  When I was almost to the restaurant, Shane suddenly grabbed my arm. “Where are you going? I thought we were going to try to hail a cab back to my place.”

  “Wh
atever gave you that idea?”

  “Gee, I wonder. I guess it’s because you started to leave the party right when I said that I wanted us to get out of there together.”

  “I said that I wanted some fresh air. Not that I wanted to leave with you.” I looked down, and his hand was still clutching my arm. “Please let me go.”

  “I don’t think so,” he said, and then he pulled me into the alleyway.

  Oh, crap. The face of Mr. Lucas instantly sprang into my mind, as Shane was putting his hands all over me and trying to kiss me. I made a face, and turned my head, but Shane straightened my head with his hands, and harshly put his lips on mine.

  “God, you’re so fucking hot. You’re so fuckable in that dress, I just can’t stand it.”

  He ran his hands on my butt, and then one of his hands was on my leg and was making its way to my panties. I wasn’t wearing hose with my dress, unfortunately, so I soon felt one of his fingers jamming inside of me, and then his hand was on my naked butt. The entire time, he was kissing me, or trying to.

  I felt myself breathing faster and faster, and tears were coming down my cheeks.

  And then, in a quick motion, he took his hand off of my genitals, and he was trying to pull my top down. I desperately tried to throw him off of me, but he almost succeeded in getting his hands onto my naked breasts.

  “I want to see them,” he said. “God, you have magnificent titties.”

  He was overpowering me. He was a big guy, at six feet and around 200 lbs, and I was 115 lbs soaking wet, and was a good eight inches shorter than him.

  I felt tears coming to my eyes. I was helpless to stop him, but I was desperate to do so anyhow.

  “Stop, stop, stop!” I was screaming, tears coming down my face. “Please, Shane, please leave me-“

  Then, at that, Nick was suddenly there on the sidewalk. He rushed into the alleyway, and immediately pulled Shane off of me. He threw Shane savagely onto the ground, and started punching him and kicking him. “Leave her alone! She doesn’t want to be with you! Can’t you see that?”

  Shane lay there, crumpled for a few minutes, and then got back up off the ground. He was swaying from being drunk and from being savagely pummeled by Nick. “You,” he said. “What’s your problem? I mean, you tendered your resignation because they were going to fire Scotty, and now, here you are, coming to her rescue like she’s some kind of damsel in distress. Scotty’s a big girl and she doesn’t need you to keep coming to her defense all the time.”

  Nick said nothing, but just stood there with his fists clenched. He still had a threatening look on his face. “Get out of here. NOW!”

  Shane just looked at me, then back at Nick, and shook his head. “Alright, man. I’m going, I’m going.” Then he looked at Nick one more time. “Hey, don’t tell the partners about this, alright?”

  “Like hell I won’t tell the partners about this. We don’t need a predator in our office. Now get gone.”

  For a moment, it looked like Shane was going to punch Nick. I figured that Nick could take Shane, as Nick was in excellent shape and was an inch or two taller than Shane’s six feet. But I didn’t know. And I didn’t want to find out.

  But Shane apparently thought better, and he turned around and walked away. I saw him get to end of the street and hail a cab.

  Nick turned to me. “Are you ok?” he asked. Then he saw that I was shivering a little bit, and he took off his jacket and put it on me. I wrapped his jacket tightly around me, covering up my cleavage.

  I shook my head. “I was asking for that.”

  Nick wrapped his arms around me tightly, and I put my head into his chest. He was stroking my hair gently as I cried into his chest. My hands were still clutching his coat, but after a few seconds, I wrapped my arms around him as well. “Scotty, why do you think you were asking for that? Why, honey?”

  “I shouldn’t show so much skin. It’s just like Mr. Lucas. I shouldn’t have shown skin around him, either. I deserved what I got. And I deserved to have Shane attack me, too.”

  At that, Nick put my head in his hands. “Scotty, listen to me. And listen to me good. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Nobody asks for that. I don’t care if you came to the party naked, you are not asking to be raped or attacked. And your foster father was just a sick, sick man. You didn’t deserve what you got. Ok?”

  I nodded my head, and then Nick wrapped his arms around me again. He gently stroked my hair some more. I felt so safe there in his arms, safer than I had ever felt in my life. He was so strong and so gentle at the same time. I didn’t want to ever leave that alleyway.

  At some point, I looked into his eyes. His arms were still wrapped around me. “Uh, Nick. You, uh, threatened to resign because of my getting fired?”

  “I didn’t threaten. I tendered my resignation. That made everybody back down. I’m surprised you haven’t heard that story yet. Especially since Robin is your friend.”

  “No. No, I, I, haven’t heard that story.” I looked at him. Nobody had ever done something like that for me. “What would you have done if the partners didn’t back down, and I was fired?”

  “I would’ve walked,” he said without hesitation.

  I just stared at him. There were so many things going through my mind, almost instantly. These thoughts overlapped one another, but they didn’t seem jumbled. On the contrary, my mind seemed preternaturally clear. One of the thoughts was that Shane was attacking me, and I thought that he was going to rape me, and Nick stepped in to protect me. He protected me, unlike all those people in my life who refused to protect me when Mr. Lucas was doing what he was doing to me. That was huge for me, that he would do that. I suddenly saw him as somebody who would be there for me, who would shield me from harm. Who would fight for me. Another thought was that Nick did fight for me against the partners. He resigned over my possible firing, and he made it clear that, if they didn’t back down, he would have walked away from his prestigious partnership. I believed him about this, too. He looked determined, and he was determined. I owed my job to him, and I owed not being raped by Shane to him as well.

  Was he the one who would finally provide me the security and protection that I had been craving my entire life? The stability and comfort? I looked into his blue eyes, and I knew that he would. And, perhaps for the first time since I had met him, I felt….calm. Serene. Like, perhaps, just perhaps, I had found not only the man that I had been looking for, but the person, in general, who I was searching for, all my life. The person who would have my back, when nobody else would.

  It was if I was seeing him for the first time.

  Seeing him clearly, anyhow.

  I felt that I could finally trust him and tear down my walls.

  Then, somehow, I got up on my tiptoes and kissed him. He seemed startled at first, but he soon was kissing me back. His kiss was gentle yet firm, and his tongue tentatively and slowly was exploring inside my mouth. He put my face in his hands, as his kiss became more insistent and passionate. He leaned into me, and I could feel his enormous hard-on through his pants. I felt my breathing coming harder and faster, as his heart was pounding in timing and rhythm with mine. I felt tingly and warm, and, surprisingly enough, not scared.

  But Nick pulled away from me. “Uh, Scotty, I. I can’t be rude to Ava. I mean, I have to get back into the party.” Then he hung his head. “I love you Scotty. I’m in love with you.”

  I nodded my head. “I understand. I mean about Ava. I understand.” And I did understand. I truly did. I knew that Nick and I would be together.

  I paused. “I’m in love with you, too.”

  Then both of us headed back into the restaurant.

  Chapter 51

  Nick

  I walked back into the restaurant with Scotty, feeling like I was walking on air. That kiss with Scotty in that alleyway affected me more deeply than all my kisses with Ava put together. Once again, I felt that kiss to my marrow. Every synapse in my body was standing at rapt attention. I looked at my arm, an
d saw that my hairs were still standing on end.

  I am in love with this girl, I thought, as I looked over at her. And she loves me back.

  She loves me back.

  She loves me back.

  She loves me back.

  But I was brought back to reality upon seeing Ava, still sitting at the table with George and Paulina. Two other couples had joined George and the others - Mark and his wife, Gwynn; and Bill and his wife, Leona. Ava was looking around the room, no doubt wondering where I went off to.

  I cleared my throat as I approached the table. George stood up. “Nick. Where did you go?”

  “I, uh, was feeling kinda warm for some reason, so I stepped out. Then I saw a woman being mugged, and I stepped in to help her.”

  “Oh, shit,” Ava said. “Well, you’re certainly more chivalrous than most New Yorkers in helping that lady out. What happened? Did the guy get away?”

  “Yeah, but she’s safe.” Then I smiled. “As for the comment about my being more chivalrous than most New Yorkers – I’m a transplant from the Midwest, remember? I was brought up to help others in need.”

  And I sat down, and Ava immediately put her arm around me. “Your kinda a hero, you know that? A studly hero. I could take you right here, right now, in front of everybody.” And then she kinda growled, and bit my earlobe.

  I felt extremely uncomfortable, knowing that Scotty was probably watching us right now. I gently took Ava’s arm from around my neck, and kissed her hand.

  And, just then, our main course arrived. I had chosen the New York Strip with the black trumpet mushrooms, with a side of spaetzle and bacon. Ava chose the Dover sole with a side of Brussels Sprouts.

  We all chatted amongst ourselves as we ate our food and drank our alcohol. I hoped that nobody noticed how much I was looking around the room, searching for Scotty in the crowd.