by Leslie North
How was anyone supposed to love him when he was so hung up on another woman?
Luciano scowled and rolled over. The lights in his apartment were off, and it was dark. He tugged the blanket down from over the top of the couch and wrapped himself in it. The couch wasn’t anywhere near as comfortable as his bed, but he felt like it was what he deserved right now.
He couldn’t face Melanie.
There was so much wrong with him that he couldn’t bring himself to. She deserved better. He hoped she’d understand.
“What the hell is going on?” Melanie grumbled. Luciano heard her from the front counter. The walls that divided each of the tattoo bays were only partial—their open tops let noise pass freely. Antonio said that it kept artists honest and gave clients an extra sense of security. If anything fishy went on, all they had to do was call out and someone would hear them.
Luciano had been avoiding Melanie all day. He’d come in late to avoid being alone with her during opening, and every time she’d stopped by the desk for one thing or another, he’d dodged conversation or replied with curt answers.
The longer he regretted what he’d done, the more he realized what a crunch he was in. The anniversary of Cassandra’s death was almost on his doorstep. With Melanie, he’d been so distracted he hadn’t thought much about it. After the night before, Luciano couldn’t escape it. He needed to get out, and between clients, he’d been scrambling to look for ways on how to do that.
“It’s been like this for like, an hour,” Jill said. “I’ve been trying to get it to work, but it just keeps blue screening whenever I push it too hard—and apparently, pushing too hard means opening the daily agenda.”
“I don’t get it.” Melanie sounded frustrated. “I wish Riley were here. I have no idea how this program works, or why the computer is doing this. I am not technologically literate on that level.”
“Can we just get a new one?” Jill asked.
“We might have to, but that’s going to take some time especially if we have to reinstall all our programs. Your payment processor is still working at least, right?”
“Yeah.” Jill paused. “But I can’t enter any of the receipt information into our database.”
“Then record it by hand. I know it’s not perfect, and it’s going to be a hassle, but we can’t close down because of this.” Melanie sighed. “I’m sorry, Jill. I’ll be around to help as much as I can, but I’ve got a lot going on now, too.”
The computer system was down? Luciano lifted his head and frowned. He’d been counting on accessing it to check his appointments for the twenty-seventh—he knew Melanie had started to refill his schedule after he’d gone through the pains of voiding his day.
There was a chance that he could get to the tattoo convention in Salt Lake City. The convention itself was small time and unimpressive, but what mattered was that it was going on concurrent to the anniversary of Cassandra’s death. The East Coast Tattoo Society convention had been a wash. He’d gone and made his address on the first day, but there wasn’t much of interest to keep him engaged. The workshops going on were basic, and he could just as easily tattoo inside Thorn Tattoo than on a borrowed chair in a convention center while strangers gawked at his work.
The convention in Salt Lake City would be more of the same and he’d likely be the biggest name in attendance, so people were sure to gawk but it would put him safely outside of Vegas and distract him from the reality of the situation.
With the database down, he was going to need Melanie’s help to get it set up. She was the one with access to his schedule in her tablet, and while sometimes, he could wrest it away from her to manage himself, these days she’d kept it close.
He was on break between clients, and he took the time to go talk to her. On his way out the doors of his tattoo bay, she was on the way in. They almost bumped into each other.
Luciano was quick to take a step back. He hated how happy she looked to see him, like he was her entire world. It hurt him to think that he was hurting her, but what else could he do?
“I’m glad to see you,” he said. “I need you to help me with something.”
“What’s that?” Melanie asked. “If it’s about the computer, I don’t know if you heard, but the whole system is down for now. I’m going to call an IT guy in or something after I check in with Antonio so we can work out a solution. I’m pretty sure we’re going to need to replace the whole thing.”
“No,” Luciano said unevenly. Melanie looked up at him curiously. “I mean, I guess you’re probably right. I need you to clear my schedule for the twenty-seventh, and then book me a late ticket for the night before to Salt Lake City.”
“Why?” Melanie furrowed her brow. It was the first conversation they’d had since they’d parted ways the night before.
“Because I need to leave. I’m going to a tattoo convention there. In fact, I’d really appreciate it if you could contact them and let them know I’m coming. It’s too late to add me to the official roster, but I’m sure someone involved with the organization could slap a few banners together quickly, maybe announce it on the radio or whatever shit they do to advertise.” Luciano shrugged. “I’ve got a really busy afternoon coming up. Pretty sure I’ve got a six-hour session booked with my next client.”
“I don’t understand,” Melanie said softly. “I thought that you were going to be around. I mean, we never talked about it, but I just assumed….”
“I changed my mind.” Luciano’s tone did not leave any room for discussion. Melanie frowned and dropped her gaze, and Luciano felt his heart start to fracture. He hated to do this to her, but he couldn’t let her be so attached when he had so much baggage. It wasn’t fair to her. “Please, book it.”
“If that’s what you want…” Melanie never said she agreed, but he didn’t need her to. It was his life, and his choices were his alone to make.
“Thank you.” Luciano wanted to say more, but before he could, Jill appeared behind them. She’d brought Luciano’s client with her.
“Your next client is here, Luc,” she said. “This is Jason. You two have fun.”
“I’m looking forward to you finishing up my sleeve,” Jason told him as he moved to sit in the chair.
Melanie gave Luciano one last look, then vacated the area to give him and Jason some privacy.
He wished things could turn out differently between them, but Luciano didn’t want to hurt a woman he’d come to love so damn much.
21
Melanie
The longer Melanie knew Luciano, the more evident it became that what Luciano wanted and what he needed were two entirely different matters. As she left the tattoo bay to let him start his appointment, she considered what he’d asked her to do. The convention in Salt Lake City didn’t sound like a big deal. It hadn’t pinged her radar, and she was hooked into Luciano’s social media almost constantly and she saw it for what it was: another escape. Luciano was reverting to his old self, and she couldn’t help but feel like it was because of what they’d done the night before.
The office, as small as it was, was technically her space now. Melanie let herself into it and sat at the desk. She woke her tablet and looked at Luciano’s clients he had lined up. The twenty-seventh was just two days away. Finding a flight, canceling all the appointments last minute, getting him set up with a hotel and transportation. Did he want to take his bike instead? She didn’t want to ask him now that he was with a client and risk him becoming agitated. It was too much. She couldn’t manage the shop and reroute Luciano’s entire life all at once.
Melanie scrunched her nose. It was a lie. She knew that she was capable, but she was looking for any excuse she could not to do it for him. She didn’t want Luciano to leave. They’d worked so hard to pull him out of his head and heal the mental wounds Cassandra had left behind that it felt wrong to arrange for him to leave.
He was so close to a breakthrough.
Melanie folded her arms on the desk and set her head down, emotionally d
rained. It wasn’t fair. She liked Luciano. Her emotions had started to cloud her judgment, but she felt like it was to his benefit. When she’d been staunchly opposed to everything she felt for him, she would have done what he asked out of duty—he was her boss, after all.
Now, he wasn’t only her boss. He was her lover. Even if it was a one-night stand, it changed things between them. She wanted him to succeed as a person. It wasn’t only about the job anymore.
Melanie picked herself up, looked up the information for Luciano’s contact at the convention, and made the call. The man who’d sent him the invitation to attend was named Vic Havoc, and Melanie couldn’t help but wonder if it was an artist’s name, or if he had the perfect handle for the tattoo industry.
“Hello?” a gravelly voice answered.
“Hi, um, is this Vic?”
“Yea, who is this?”
“This is Melanie Noel. I’m Luciano DeRose’s personal assistant.”
“Oh, hey.” Vic’s voice grew hopeful. “We know you guys get tons of invites out to all kinds of conventions around the world. I was pretty sure ours must have gone in with the rest of the slush pile.”
“Luciano takes time to look into each of the conventions he receives invitations for,” she said earnestly. “The only reason we don’t attend is because of his busy shop schedule. And really, the only reason I haven’t been in touch before now is because I’ve been working two jobs here at the shop, and it makes for a hectic day. That’s entirely on me. I’m really sorry to have left calling you so late.”
“It’s cool,” Vic said. The more he spoke, the more certain Melanie was that he was an artist. “So uh, what’s the verdict?”
“Luciano really did want to come out, but it’s just not in the cards.” Her stomach clenched as she lied, and a piercing jolt struck her hard. It felt terrible to deny Luciano what he wanted, but it was in his own best interest. “I’m sorry. We’re really interested in attending next year, though, if you’ll have us.”
“Oh, for sure!” Vic didn’t sound let down at all, and it was a small relief, but nowhere near enough to make her feel better. For the first time since she’d started working for him, she was directly going against Luciano’s wishes. Melanie hoped it paid off. “Thank you for calling in to talk. We don’t hear back from so many people that it’s discouraging. Good to know that Luciano is enough of a stand-up guy to make sure he gets back to those who reach out to him.”
The enthusiasm in his voice twisted her guilt deeper. Melanie clenched a fist to try to steel herself through some of it as she finished the call. “It’s a privilege to be invited. Both of us are always so thrilled. Thanks again for the invite, and we’ll see you next year.”
“Until then.”
The call ended. Melanie took the phone from her ear and slid it across the table in disgust. What she’d done, she’d done out of necessity but it didn’t make it feel any less horrible.
“Melanie!” Luciano sounded pissed and she squared her shoulders and winced. She’d hoped that he wouldn’t find out until the last minute, but it looked like he’d been following her progress a little more closely than she would have liked.
Luciano’s last client, Jason, had just left the shop. Most of the other artists had cleaned up and left already. The day had drawn to a close.
Melanie was waiting for Luciano to check out before she went through the rest of the closing routine. The manager never left until all artists were out of the shop including Luciano.
“I’m here,” Melanie called from the front desk. She’d been trying to figure out how to close without a functional computer system. It was more difficult than she’d thought. There was no standard procedure for how to do it and she’d been unable to reach Antonio to see if he had a backup in place.
Luciano stormed out of his tattoo bay, his phone clutched in his hand. The screen was lit up, and Melanie had an idea of what was on the screen. When he was close enough, he thrust the phone in the direction of her face so she could see what was on the screen. “What the fuck is this?”
“It looks like an email,” Melanie replied. Sarcasm was their shared language, but it wasn’t enough to talk Luciano down from his anger.
“Yeah, no shit, it’s an email.” Luciano towered over her, his muscles corded and his blue eyes severe. “But look who it’s from. Look what it says.”
Melanie took a deep breath. She knew she was in trouble. Keeping the secret was impossible, but it looked like she’d been found out a lot sooner than she could have hoped.
The email was from Vic. It thanked Luciano for getting in touch with him, stated that he was sorry Luciano couldn’t make it, and that he looked forward to touching base next year for the next convention. Melanie breathed out slowly through her nose. Her stomach lurched. It felt like she was going to be sick.
“Why the hell did he say that when I told you I was going to the convention?” Luciano demanded. “On top of that, I haven’t noticed any confirmations for my plane tickets, rental car, or hotel.”
“That’s because I didn’t make any reservations,” Melanie whispered. “I told Vic that you’re not going this year.” She fisted her hands, her fingernails cutting into her palms.
“Why the fuck would you do that?” Luciano seethed. “I told you to make sure it was all taken care of.”
Melanie clenched her fists tighter, wincing. Most days, she was a yes-man. Today, she was going to stand up for what was right. Luciano needed to be put in his place, and she wasn’t going to enable him in his path to self-destruction. “You know what needs to be taken care of? You.”
He was silent, but anger burned steadily in his eyes.
“All these years you’ve been running. I already told you that you need to let yourself grow and experience. I already told you that running away from your past isn’t resolving anything. It’s time that you stood on your own two feet and got over it. Even if you never forget her memory, you need to start moving on. It’s not healthy for you to be so obsessed over this.”
The anger brimmed behind Luciano’s eyes, and she saw his arms tremble. Melanie stood steadfast. She said what she needed to say, and what he needed to hear. If he didn’t like it, that was his problem.
“You know what?” Luciano said at last. His words were edged with disdain. “It is time I started to move on, and I think it’s time you start to move on, too. I need a personal assistant who’s going to fucking personally assist me. I don’t care what you think is best for me. I don’t care if you think I’m going off the deep end. That’s my business, not yours.”
The words he spoke hurt. Melanie shrank back.
“So I want you to leave right now, Melanie. I’ll finish closing tonight, and I’ll take care of my own scheduling from now on. You’re fired.”
She opened her mouth, but the words she wanted to say choked in her throat. She’d gone against his command, but she hadn’t thought he’d fire her over it. It seemed exaggerated.
“Get. Out,” Luciano snarled.
She took a hurried step back, and then ran for the stairs. Tears started to well in her eyes. After all they shared, and all the time they’d spent together, was he really going to throw her away? She’d already thought she was fired once, and it had been bad enough then but now that it was real?
There was no pain like it. Rejection, dejection, incompetence, and pity knotted in her chest and left her feeling bloated. She pushed through the door and emerged onto the street, almost too delirious from her upset to know where to go.
She’d parked… somewhere. Her memories were betraying her.
Luciano had reacted in the worst way possible to her help, and she knew that without her there to set him on the right path, he was going to revert back to his old ways.
It was over. They were over.
Melanie felt stupid for thinking they ever stood a chance.
22
Luciano
The twenty-seventh of April arrived and Luciano did not report into the shop. He�
�d taken a day trip out to Henderson to meet up with the guys from Prismatic Ink. They’d been nice enough to come see him on short notice, and Luciano had arranged the meeting in Henderson under the guise of getting away from the glitz of Vegas.
He still felt miserable.
This year, the pain was different. Cassandra’s passing still marked his heart, but he found himself mourning a different loss. Melanie, who’d served him dutifully and who only wanted the best for him, was gone. He’d forced out the one woman who’d taken the time to get to know him. More than anything, he wanted to save her, but was this really the right way?
Luciano zoned out through much of the meeting with the executives from Prismatic Ink. It sounded like they were interested in collaborating with him on a new line of inks. Luciano nodded and made the minimal effort. He’d help them out. The ink they’d sent was good quality, and the company seemed reputable. He didn’t mind partnering with them.
But his mind was elsewhere.
By the time the meeting was finished, there was still daylight to burn. Luciano hadn’t had time to book a hotel, and he wondered if he should bother. If he avoided the strip, he imagined that he could head home without issue. While his heart mourned Cassandra, it was preoccupied with his break from Melanie.
What was she doing now? Would she go back to live with her parents, wherever they were? Would she abandon modern life, get married to someone like her sister had, and start a family?
Luciano scrubbed at his eyes as he headed back to his bike. It was a big disaster, and he wished he’d had the clarity of mind to think things through.
There was no changing what he’d done, though, and he’d have to live with it.