Tremors rocked through me and I think I told her something, but I can’t be certain. Utterly spent, my body stilled against hers. Slowly blood started to return to my brain. And the moment that I’d regained a little cognitive functioning, I eased her back down onto the sand and pulled out. Because I knew that if I didn’t move away immediately then I’d become hard once more and would have to have her again. Immediately. I collapsed beside her. My breathing was so rapid that it felt like I’d ran a marathon.
Sweet bliss didn’t last forever. A few moments of contentment was all I was granted and then shame settled. I couldn’t believe how quickly all that had happened. I’d acted like some horny, crazed, overzealous teenager. Having sex. Outside. With no condom. In the damn sand!
I sighed, running my hands through my hair and then dropping them back at my sides. Jesus Christ, Noah! How could I be so careless? I felt like something amazing was happening between us. Something that should be cherished and never rushed. Something that made me want to crawl out of my safe little hole—like one of those damn white, ghost crabs—and finally start fully living my life. And I felt like a jackass for how quickly I’d rushed to have sex with her.
Because that wasn’t what this was about. Not hardly.
Fear washed over me next. If I just ruined everything with Georgie then I wasn’t sure how I’d ever recover. I was about to apologize, and possibly start groveling, when her small hand slipped into mine. She let out a sexy little laugh—one that hit me like giant bowling ball, square in the middle of my chest.
“What’s so funny?” I choked out.
“Nothing,” she said softly. “Everything… You.”
“Me?”
“Yes. You’re so unexpected and fun, still kind of weird, but in a good way, and I’m having a really great time hanging out with you. Seriously, Noah. You’re worth living for.”
Holy shit. The air left my lungs. I couldn’t believe she’d said that.
I sat up, taking in the sight of her, and was suddenly unable to wipe a big-ass grin off my face—because Georgie had a seriously satisfied look on her face. I’d just had wild caveman sex with her, and I was relieved to find that she seemed to be perfectly okay with that.
My mind was made up—she was mine. Or at least, I was hers. And I was going to prove myself worthy of this girl. “I’m having fun hanging out with you too,” I said. “If ‘hanging out’ is what you want to call it. But it’s not me. It’s all you. You’re the one bringing me to life.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Thanks, Noah,” she whispered. “I think.”
I couldn’t help myself; I bent over and kissed her. My lips moved slowly against hers, savoring. Then I broke away because I needed to get her off this beach before we actually did get arrested. “I need you dressed and safe at home. Someone might have heard us.”
“Was I loud?”
Loud was an understatement. “Only a little,” I lied.
Finding her black panties from our mixed pile of clothes, I helped her place each foot through the leg holes. Then I inched the sheer material over her calves and up her thighs—doing my very best to ignore how perfect she looked messed up from all my…relentlessness. A little relentlessness dripped in a liquid path down the inside of her thigh. And, fuck me, I couldn’t help myself when my finger trailed over the spot, pushing my semen back up toward where it belonged, and spreading it across her wetness. I pushed one finger inside her. Then stopped myself.
Shit. Having sex with her once only made me want her more. Usually sex worked the opposite way, cured you of your desire for that other person, but not with her. She was an exception to every rule. I already knew that though, and as I pulled away from her, our eyes connecting briefly, and I whispered, “Again. But not now.” It was a promise and a threat.
She sat up and pulled her cotton shorts on next, while I stood to put on my pajama pants. We were a both bit sandy, but if Georgie minded, she didn’t say anything.
She was smiling and my heart was swelling as we walked hand-in-hand, along the (thankfully deserted) beach, back toward her house. We weren’t talking, but we didn’t need to. Then it occurred to me that I had butterflies in my stomach. I’d already seen her naked. Didn’t butterflies typically happen before that sort of thing? They were churning and gut-clinching—a wonderful kind of high.
We reached her back door, the one at ground level. I glanced toward the neighbor’s house, but everything seemed quiet in that direction. So I focused only on Georgie. I hated that I had to leave her now.
“I can’t come inside with you. I want to. But can’t. I’d actually really like to tell your parents about us. Rose too. Anyone who fucking wants to hear it.” Great, I wasn’t very smooth at baring my soul, but she needed to know all this. “If we tell your parents, then the spending the night thing is probably going to have to stop. I’m not ready for that to stop.”
“Me neither,” she said, looking down at my two hands that were clutching one of hers.
“I’ve got to go find Rhett too,” I explained. Though she probably didn’t need such a thorough explanation. And yet, all of it kept slipping out of my mouth anyway. Was I nervous…still…even after everything that had just happened? I kept rambling. “Last night, I saw that girl he’s been searching everywhere for—his mystery girl. I spoke with her and she basically told me she wants nothing to do with him. He’s not going to take that well. Anyway…I parked a few houses down last night.”
“Okay,” she simply said. “If I don’t see you before tonight, then I’ll see you in bed. Right?”
“Yes.” But she was going to see me before that.
She stood on her tiptoes, pressed a quick kiss to my lips, and then opened the door to her house. “Bye, Noah,” she whispered over her shoulder. “Good luck with Rhett and… Best. Morning. Ever.” Then she disappeared inside.
Shit. What the hell was this girl doing to me?
CHAPTER 16:
GEORGINA
I shut the door and sagged against it, letting a hiss of air flow through my teeth. I had it bad for this man. Seriously, bad. Like can’t-see-straight, can’t-function-properly, can’t-feel-my-toes, don’t-even-care bad.
Damn. A shirtless image of Noah—the hard lines of his tight, tanned stomach, the little beads of sweat, the trail of dark hair that started at his belly button and led straight down, and the powerful, life-changing sight of all of him buried deep inside me, pumping hard and sure. These images were stuck in my mind and kept playing on repeat. He hadn’t held back for a single second while we were together, exactly liked I’d wanted, and a rougher, wilder Noah had emerged. I kind of knew that rougher side was there all along, but I never could have prepared my body for it.
Damn. Just thinking about it had me tingling all over again. I needed someone to dump ice down my pants. And then unexpectedly a small knock sounded behind me. I scrambled to my feet, my knees a little weak and wobbly, confused but ecstatic at who might be on the other side. Opening the door, my eyes met Noah’s.
My breathing was a mess. “What are you doing back so soon?”
He stared at me for several long seconds. Finally he spoke. “Are you okay? Your cheeks are red.”
My face burned. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” he said and smiled for a brief second like he knew exactly what was wrong with me. Then his hand met the small of my waist. He slowly and forcefully pushed, walking me backward inside my house. His lips were inches from mine, his jaw tense, and his pupils dilated. “I forgot a few things,” he said in a low voice. “My keys. My wallet. My shoes. Possibly my damn mind.”
Suddenly he lifted me up. My legs locked automatically around his waist and my mouth crashed down on his. The two little words he’d whispered as he came inside me replayed in my head. Only you. I wasn’t sure if Noah and I made much sense logically, but that was quickly becoming one of my favorite things about us. I loved the lack of pressure I felt with him, and how quickly one little kiss could make me
lose all inhibitions. I’d never experienced anything like this, even with Logan. It was scary and liberating at the same time.
“Noah,” I whispered, breaking my lips from his.
“I know,” he answered, setting me down. “I know. I can’t lose control here. You make that pretty close to impossible. C’mon.” He tugged on my hand. I followed him back to the guest bedroom where he slipped on his shoes and pocketed all his other belongings. Then we walked back to the door.
“Goodbye again,” he whispered, brushing a few loose strands of my hair behind my ear and pressing one final kiss to my forehead. “You’re driving me insane.”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered but wasn’t sorry at all.
“It’s a good kind of insane.”
Then he slipped out the door, disappearing once more, leaving me with smile on my face. One I had a feeling I’d be wearing all freaking day long.
* * *
“Georgina, honey,” Mom called.
Rose and I were watching her favorite reality TV family…again. “So what happened with Khloe’s husband? They seemed so in love.”
“He’s too jealous,” Rose said, shaking her little head at me. “Just shut up and watch. It’s not that hard to follow. Khloe and her husband are getting a divorce now. How come you don’t already know this? Everybody knows this.”
I hated to admit it, but I was starting to get sucked into Rose’s shows. Drama. Drama. Drama. On the plus side, her shows made me feel relatively normal. And Khloe was pretty freaking hilarious to watch.
“Georgina,” Mom said, moving to stand in front of the TV.
Rose and I both groaned.
She propped her hands on her hips. “Oh no. You aren’t missing anything. This stuff is going to rot your brains. Anyway, I need to go meet your dad with some papers. And we were thinking about staying out and having dinner after. It’s been a very long time since we’ve done anything just the two of us. If I leave you with some money for pizza, would you mind watching Rose tonight? I know it’s your night off, but would that be okay?”
“What am I?” Rose complained. “Chopped liver. Nobody asks if anything is okay with me.”
My mom’s eyes pleaded with mine. Her dark hair was a little frizzy and falling from the knot she had twisted it into behind her head. Maybe she needed a break or something—desperately—because she looked like she could snap at any moment. Which, actually, seemed more like the Mom I remembered from before my ‘incident’ than the careful version of herself that she’d become lately.
“I’ll watch her,” I said. “We can watch episodes of the Kardashian’s all night.”
“Ugh,” Rose groaned, slapping her hands on her thighs. “I’ll be the one watching her.”
From Mom’s pocket, her cell phone rang. She jumped at the sound. “That’s your dad. Please, guys, stop arguing. I guess I can call Mrs. Bailey to come over and babysit.”
“Not Mrs. Bailey,” Rose gasped. “Never mind. Georgina can watch me.”
Mom’s eyes were still pleading—maybe only with herself. Was she nervous to leave me alone at the house? I guess she had every right to be. “I’m fine,” I said. “Really. I won’t do anything dumb while you’re gone. So stop worrying and have a good night with Dad.”
“I know,” she whispered, water pooling in her eyes. “You’ve been so much happier over the past week; happier than you’ve been in over a year. I’ve noticed and frankly, I’m relieved. So…I will leave you some money on the counter for pizza.” She smiled. “And you girls have a good night.”
“Whatever,” Rose mumbled.
“Bye, Mom,” I said, ignoring the tears that were trying to pool behind my eyes.
When I’d taken the knife to my arms I’d thought only of myself and never of the effect my actions would have on my family. I hadn’t even thought of the additional pain I would cause each of them. Correction. The additional pain I was still causing each of them. That awareness sat like a giant boulder on my chest.
I had to make everything right.
Imagine if Rose, instead of having one dead sibling, now had two. I ached, like never before, for my sister. I wanted to find a way to lessen any pain she might be experiencing. No kid should ever have to go through all this crap.
The moment Mom left and it was just the two of us, the first words that slipped from my mouth were, “I’m sorry.”
Rose stared straight ahead at the television.
“When I tried to kill myself, I wasn’t thinking about anyone but me. That was, and will probably always be, the biggest mistake of my life.” Tears decided to burst free from my eyes, leaking down my cheeks. Rose, however, was much tougher than me. She sat, still staring at the screen, completely unaffected. “I can’t undo my mistake. But I can promise you that I won’t ever do it again. I know you must be hurting inside. And I’m so sorry that I’ve added to that pain, Rosie. I felt so alone when I tried to kill myself, but maybe if we could all just hurt together then none of us would have to go through this alone.”
I groaned, burying my face in my hands. I wasn’t even making any sense. Rose was wicked smart, and she had to think I was acting totally pathetic right about now.
But then suddenly I uncovered my eyes…because two skinny arms had wrapped around my waist, squeezing me as tight as possible.
“You’re not alone, Georgie,” Rose whispered, her little voice cracking as she tried to comfort me. I was the older one; that meant I should be the one doing the comforting. Not the other way around.
“You aren’t alone either,” I whispered, returning her embrace.
We sat together, hugging for a very long time. Eventually, after counting one hundred and fifty-two of my breaths, I calmed down and the tears dried. Then we let go of each other and both settled back on the couch.
“Dammit,” Rose said, her tone half-joking. “You made me miss that entire episode!”
“Don’t swear,” I warned in a hollow threat.
“Whatever. Mom isn’t here.”
I laughed. “Fine. You can swear but only when it’s just the two of us.”
She smiled mischievously. Oh, no. What had I unleashed? This girl was trouble waiting to happen. “Can we take Mom’s twenty bucks and go out to eat? Please. Pretty please. I’ve got some money. I’ll pay the difference if it costs extra.”
We’d never gone out to eat before—just the two of us. And suddenly I really wanted to. I needed her to think of me as that cool big sister again.
I agreed.
Then we hurried for the car, even though it was barely past four in the afternoon, and drove the short distance to the Blue Pelican. Jeez. The Blue Pelican was about the last place I wanted to go, but Rose demanded crab legs, and I felt a wonderful surge of energy coursing through my veins. It was me who had Noah Clark crawling into my bed every night. Those were some serious bragging rights. And now that I’d made up my mind about my suicide attempt, knowing wholeheartedly that it had been a mistake, I felt like I could take on whatever the world had to throw at me.
Sonya Fletcher couldn’t deter me. No one could.
I parked. Rose and I walked in through the familiar painted blue doors, a giant marlin in a net hanging ridiculously from the ceiling. The hostess recognized me, made small talk, and then led us toward a booth in the back of the dimly lit restaurant. The place was already packed since many of the tourists liked to eat dinner early to avoid the crowds and take a break from the sun.
“I feel like we’re on a date,” Rose said, in awe. “This table is kind of high. Would you be embarrassed if I asked for a booster seat?”
It took me a couple seconds, but it occurred to me she was only joking and I burst out laughing. “You’re something else, Rose.” And then, as we were waiting for the server to come introduce herself before we hit the buffet, I decided I wanted to tell Rose everything about Noah. I found I needed to tell someone, anyone, desperately.
“I have something to share, and you can’t tell Mom,” I started.
Hoping I wouldn’t regret telling her this, I took a breath and let the words slip out. “I think I’m in love with Noah Clark.”
She stared at me for several long seconds, then finally spoke. “You’re shitting me.”
“Don’t curse,” I groaned.
“Whatever. Don’t change the subject. So, you think you love him or you know you love him?”
Wow. She was more quizzical than one of my therapists. “Know,” I whispered, swallowing hard. I did love him. Wildly and without doubt. It was impossible not to fall, crashing and burning, head-over-heels for a man like Noah.
“Then you should know...” Rose said, her face turning rather pale. “Noah is here right now. Over there.” She pointed.
Holy shit. I glanced over my shoulder and sure enough—there was Noah. Except he wasn’t alone. He sat in a booth, a gorgeous blonde in the seat across from him. “What the hell?” I said under my breath, doing a double take. No, my eyes weren’t lying to me. It was definitely my Noah. “How long has he been over there?” I asked Rose.
“The whole time,” she answered. “I didn’t know you liked him or even cared about him, or I would have pointed him out sooner. I wanted to go say hi when we came in, but I thought since he was on a date, it would be rude to interrupt.”
My heart crashed to the floor and splintered into a million little pieces. He was on a date with someone else. We’d never officially been on a date. Instead he’d screwed me in the sand. After this morning, this was the last thing I ever expected.
Stupid.
I was beyond stupid.
I inched further into the booth. He obviously hadn’t seen me. But did that even matter? “We need to leave. Now,” I muttered to Rose. The smell of crab legs wafting through the air had my stomach churning. And the worst part of all—I was a little sore. Before this morning, it had been ages since I’d last had sex, even sex with Logan had never been anything like it was with Noah, and I squeezed my legs together trying to erase the reminder of where he’d been. Not to mention, I still was wearing his damn t-shirt. I had it tied on the side, so it didn’t look completely ridiculous, but I’d kept it on since I’d wanted to keep a piece of him close to me all day. Now it felt so itchy against my skin that I nearly was willing to rip it off right then and there.
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