"Of course I will. God, I want her to do all the things I didn't." Oh. Looking at a smiling Dr. Belanger I see exactly what she's done. "Yes. I want Mackenzie to have a wonderful, normal life- a life totally different than the one I had."
"Good, because-"
"But that doesn't mean I won't chaperone," I giggle as she laughs at me again.
Sitting back in my chair I can't help thinking of Mackenzie at her prom suddenly. With her light brown hair and dark brown eyes and with eye lashes most women would kill for, I know any color gown will look stunning on her. I can't wait to hold Z's hand while he chokes up like a pansy when she goes to her prom.
"I'm doing very well. And I would tell you if I wasn't. I still see my other shrink once a week and I see you once a week, so there’s lots of help if I need it."
"You see me because you have to," she smiles.
"Yes, but I probably would anyway," I grin. "I like you Dr. Belanger, and you've been a great help adding in the female dynamic I don't have with my other doctor. But I'm still good for now, and I really would come immediately if I wasn't good. I really want to be good and happy for Mackenzie and Z," I finally exhale.
"I know you would, Suzanne. So it looks like we're done today. See you next Tuesday?"
"Absolutely."
Standing, Dr. Belanger, my court appointed psychiatrist, shakes my hand as usual before I turn for home for another week.
➰➰➰➰➰
Opening the front door, I already hear the crying and wow see the mess all over our entire living room, proof that Z tried every single toy Mackenzie owns to calm her.
"Z?" I call calmly walking towards the bedrooms to my screaming baby. "Mackennnnnnzie...?" I call out in my dorky mom voice. "Where are you baby?" And suddenly the crying stops. On a dime. In a fraction of a second. Almost like a baby-mom switch, all crying stops as Z and Mackenzie round the corner to me. Oh my… they both look like hot friggin’ messes.
"What the-?" I giggle looking at Z rolling his eyes at my totally silent, snotty, teary-eyed crazy little baby. "Come here," I whisper as her chubby little arms reach out to me immediately. "What's wrong, sweetpea?" I soothe as she rests her head on my chest silently.
Walking the rest of the way to my bedroom, Z follows silently, and Mackenzie stays silent. Crawling on my bed, she stays in my arms and snuggles in deep. Lying sideways Z crawls in behind her and flips my favorite poo-stained for life throw blanket over us and still Mackenzie is silent. Looking at her face, I gently touch her eyebrow and with only 2 passes of my thumb her eyes flutter open and closed. Oh, yeah... she's done I almost giggle.
"How long did she cry?" I whisper watching her eyes finally flutter closed for good.
"How long were you gone?" Z counters with a little huff smile.
I'm not gonna lie, that feels pretty great. Well, not that she cried for so long, but totally because she cried for so long because I wasn't with her.
"I love you," Z whispers leaning over our 7 month old to kiss my scarred cheek.
"Why?" I ask like an idiot when he smirks. "I mean why did you say that right now?"
"Cuz I wanted to," he grins as I smile back.
"Did she sleep at all?"
"No."
"So she's out out?"
"Yes..."
Looking over at our special sex couch, I don't even need to speak before Z's eyes lower and his breathing changes. Oh, he is so on board with me.
"You go first," I whisper with a stupid grin I'm sure as he slowly tries to ease out from behind Mackenzie. Lifting a pillow over her head gently, Z stuffs it between the 2 of them as he pushes out from behind her. Watching, I almost giggle at what parents we've become. I mean seriously, dealing with a sleeping baby is like handling the detonator of a goddamn atomic bomb for Christ's sake, and yet the second the bed squeaks we both gasp and pause for the explosion.
In almost a semi-prone position Z holds his very impressive ab muscles tight while I bury my face in the bed before I burst out laughing.
"Your turn, smartass," he whispers and I'm dying. Between wanting Z and scared I'll make a noise, I can't hold in the laughter for much longer. There's no way. For 2 people who want to have sex we’re like the most ridiculous looking morons ever.
"Losers?" He grins walking to my side when he's finally free of the Mackenzie bomb.
"Totally," I giggle holding in my real laugh.
Feeling his hands around my waist Z breathes shhhhh and just slides me sideways right off our bed backwards until my foot hits the floor. Righting me, my laughter is right there. Almost out. Barely contained as I stare at him for one millisecond before he kisses me.
And that's it.
Z kisses the holy shit out of me and I forget everything. Well, except for my daughter, but whatever. She's sound asleep in the middle of our bed facing away from our couch, and oh!
Z lifts me right off the floor by my waist as my legs wrap around his own until moving we hit our special sex couch with a quiet humph between us.
Still kissing, I manage to yank his shirt overhead as he lifts my skirt up to my waist.
"Making love, sex, or fucking?" Z breathes nearly silently against my lips making my arousal skyrocket. "Never mind, you can't be quiet no matter what, so I'll start slow to get to the good stuff before you scream and wake her up."
Nodding, I wait for his slow and giggle when he looks between my body and Mackenzie's sleeping silence in fear.
"Give me everything, Z," I moan when I feel him touch my body.
"I plan on it, love," he growls with his intense eyes staring at my own before he lowers on the floor before me.
“Oh god…” I gasp covering my mouth with a couch cushion when I feel his mouth take me hard.
We are US…
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sarah Walker is a Scottish Canadian living in Canada with her American husband and their son.
In her real life, Sarah is a devoted mother, (semi)devoted wife??, and an absolute junkie for coffee, dark chocolate with sea salt, and high heels.
www.authorsarahannwalker.com
Sarah can be found on Facebook
www.facebook.com/SarahAnnWalkerIAmHer
Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/author/walkersarahann
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Goodreads
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Twitter
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We are US... (I am HER... Book 3) Page 49