Today it was Will yelling that pulled me into consciousness. “No, Joe, he is not the man I thought he was.”
Joe must have been trying to smooth things over between his two friends. I couldn’t imagine how Will would react if he knew Nate had killed twice in his long life. He had once asked me to keep it to myself, knowing how his family saw him, and after last night, I agreed with that decision. They obviously couldn’t take it.
I glanced around at my surroundings, not ready to get up. Lauren’s room was the same as it was when I first became her friend, larger than my own with colors of red and cream throughout. The smell of her vanilla scented candles permeated the air. It was a comfortable space, and any girl would want to spend time in it. I remembered the first time I had been here. It was a slumber party with her friends Ally and Lilly. I was nervous at first because they weren’t girls I normally hung out with, but they made me feel welcome, and I now called them friends.
I turned onto my side staring at her shelves attached to the wall. She had every movie imaginable. Spending the whole day up here watching my favorites and avoiding my life sounded ideal. Why shouldn’t I? I had no plans. My workouts were obviously over. I couldn’t trust Adrian; he had lied to me. I hadn’t had the chance to think that through with everything that had happened. But now that I did, I wasn’t convinced that Adrian was trying to hurt me despite his deceit. There was something odd going on. I couldn’t see Charlotte telling Adrian to help me and Lauren, and that’s what he had done. I went over every conversation we had together, and nothing he said could convince me otherwise. He told me to turn into a wolf often so I wouldn’t hurt people I love, which was the same advice Nate had given me. He also showed me how to fight to protect myself from other werewolves. This did not sound like someone that was working for Charlotte. Did he know something that we didn’t? Was Charlotte planning an attack, and he wanted me to be able to protect myself? I knew in my heart that he was good and that he was indeed trying to help me. Maybe he would know what James and Charlotte were planning for Will. Maybe he could help us. The idea of contacting him entered my mind, but I wasn’t sure if I should follow through. The fact was that he did lie to me. How could I trust him now, even though I really wanted to? Ugh! Another situation I couldn’t figure out. Why was life so hard? There were two men that I had trusted that had betrayed me—one that I loved deeply and the other that I considered a friend. I wanted to forgive both of them, but I was learning that forgiveness wasn’t always that easy.
Thankfully, Lauren groaned, interrupting my internal struggle. She was awake and would be able to distract me from my confusing thoughts. I turned around to find her staring at me.
“Are you feeling better this morning?” she asked, her voice was rough with sleep.
“Do you mean, have I made any decisions? Then no. I’m still struggling to forgive Nate, even though he kissed me yesterday.”
She sat up and gaped at me. “He kissed you?”
I nodded. “Yep, in the hall, after you told him I saved Will. He said he was proud of me.”
She ran her hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face. “That was before my dad’s reaction. I think it really bothered him.” Her eyes were sad. “I bet he could use the support of his fiancé.” Her point was obvious. She wanted me to talk to him, knowing he’d be still upset after last night. I wanted to, but what was I supposed to say, “Don’t feel bad for turning me into a wild animal? I’m okay with it?” I couldn’t lie to him, just to make him feel better.
I turned to face the ceiling. Her intense stare was giving me the creeps. “Who was it that told me a week ago that they understood why I couldn’t forgive him yet, and they would stop pushing me?” I didn’t look to see her response. I continued my perusal of the white ceiling. I was searching for a flaw, and the only one I could spot was a few lines that were left from the paint brush.
“Okay, that was me,” she admitted sheepishly. “But that was before my father’s reaction. He must really be hurting. My dad and Nate have always been so close.”
“That was pretty bad. Did he speak at all after I left?” I asked, finding another flaw, a faded spot the size of a quarter.
“Not really. Maybe a few grunts, when Joe tried to talk about James.”
An ache pierced my heart at the thought of the man I loved in pain. But there was nothing I could do to help him. “Where did they sleep?”
“In a spare room, but they took shifts guarding my father. Nate stayed up until Joe took over for him.”
“I heard Joe talking to Will about Nate. It didn’t go over well.”
She tapped the blanket, where her leg should be. “I feel bad for Nate, but my dad is crushed. Did you see his face?” Her voice took on the feelings inside her. You could tell she hated that two of the men she loved most in the world were not getting along.
“Yes. He looked like he someone told him Superman wasn’t real.”
She pointed at me. “Exactly. He’s always looked up to Nate. His voice was different when he spoke of his uncle. He was proud that Nate was a werewolf and yet the most giving man he knew. You could see it in his face when they talked. It was like hero worship, and in one second, that was shattered. I have never seen him so disheartened before in my life. I hope he can get over it.”
For some reason, I felt responsible for this riff between the two men. If I had forgiven Nate right away, maybe Will wouldn’t have reacted the way he did. “Maybe he’ll forgive him when I do,” I suggested, voicing my thoughts.
She was quiet. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her turn on her back, staring up at the ceiling, just like I was doing. “Do you think you’ll be able to?”
“I hope so.” My chest ached again, and in the last few weeks, it was an all too familiar feeling. “Because, I really miss him.” My voice broke on the last word, and a single tear fell down my cheek.
She turned her head slightly. “I know,” was all she said. And for some reason, it was exactly what I needed.
I cleared my throat, anxious to change the subject. “I’m thinking about calling Adrian.”
She leaned up, resting her head on her elbow. “Are you serious? He lied to you.”
I turned my head to face her. “Do you really think he wanted to hurt us? That he was working with Charlotte? You were there with me. Did he say or do anything that would make you think that?”
She sighed, her eyes looking down as she thought it through, her fingers picking at the blanket. After a few seconds, her eyes shifted up to peer into mine. “No.” She shook her head. “You’re right. It doesn’t make sense. All he did was help us.”
“I was thinking of letting him explain. He wanted to yesterday.” I paused, running my finger over the embossed rose on her red duvet. “Maybe he could help us with your dad.”
Her eyes widened with hope. “You think?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, he lied, so it will be hard to trust him, but I’d like to give him a chance to explain.”
“How will you contact him?”
“I have his cell number. He gave it to me when we started the work outs.”
“Well, call him then.” Now that she agreed with me and thought it was a good idea, I suddenly felt nervous. “I’m going to shower first. Can I borrow some clothes?”
She lay back on the pillow, looking up again. “Sure, knock yourself out. I owe you anyway.”
I sat up quickly and then braced myself with my hands on the edge of the bed. Head rush. When my head stopped spinning, I stood up and opened her closet. “You have some of my clothes in here.”
“Yeah, I know. I always forget to return them.” There was laughter in her voice.
I smirked at her as I grabbed my gray jeans and my pink and orange striped hooded top. Tucking the clothes over my arm, I headed to her bathroom.
The hot water felt relaxing and soothed my mind of all my worries. Every whirling thought in my head disappeared as the water poured over me. I hated to turn t
he water off once I had rinsed out her guava conditioner. But I couldn’t stand in here all day, as much as I wanted to postpone my life, and what I planned to do next. I had decided during my shower to go see if Nate was okay, and then I was going to call Adrian. I wasn’t looking forward to either one, but knew it was something I had to do.
Twenty minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed with my hair dry and flowing down my back. I even added some makeup I had borrowed from Lauren. I felt refreshed and ready to face the day.
Lauren was sitting up in her bed, hunched over her cell, texting. From the grin on her face, I was guessing it was Joe.
“I’ll be right back.” I called out as I opened her door and headed into the hall. I heard her yelling, asking where I was going, but I didn’t want to tell her. It was complicated enough without her input. I needed to see him. He was on my mind, and I was worried about him. I followed his scent to the west wing, where all the guest rooms were located.
The Riley house was very different than my own family home. My mother kept ours up to date and modern, while the Rileys didn’t seem to focus on changing the interior at every whim. It always had a classic, timeless feel. The walls, tapestry, and even the artwork would be suitable for any time period. The furnishings never seemed to go out of style.
I knocked once before entering. He was in a large bed, buried under a navy blue blanket. All I could see was his messy pale blond hair, sticking up against the stark white pillow. His slow, deep breathing told me he was sleeping.
He looked so peaceful. I hoped he could stay like that because when he woke, life would return, and he’d go back to the tormented Nate he’d been the last few weeks. He had lived his life that way before he met me, but when we fell in love, I finally convinced him to let the past go and stop hating who he was. But after the night of our six month anniversary, he became that guy again who hated himself and everything he’d done. The weight of the world was heavy on his shoulders, and I yearned to relieve some of the burden, but I didn’t know how.
I sank down into a royal blue, velvet antique chair situated in the corner of the room. I listened to his soft even breathing. It calmed me. It was a sound I had gotten used to over the last six months, and I missed it. When my eyelids threatened to close, a voice brought me back.
“Why are you watching me sleep?” His voice was deep and groggy, muffled from the pillow.
“I wanted to see how you were.”
“Do you still care?” His question stung, mostly because it was something I would say to him. He never made me feel guilty for anything I had done or said. His constant patience was who he was, and what his family and I loved about him. But I guess after Will’s reaction, he had a right to act like everybody else. Before I opened my mouth to respond, he spoke again. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me.”
That was the Nate I was used to. “You don’t have to be sorry. You don’t always have to be so understanding. Be selfish and mean for once in your life like the rest of us. You’re not perfect, Nate, and you’re entitled to your feelings.”
He sighed as he sat up, turning to face me, leaning against the headboard. His smooth sculpted chest was bare, and I fought the urge to stare at it. “You always know how to make me feel better.”
“I just haven’t done it in a while.”
He pressed his lips together. “No, you haven’t.” His gaze shifted to mine. “But I understand why.”
I smiled. “You’re doing it again.” I glanced away quickly as a blue jay shrieked past the window. With my new heightened sight, I could see the individual feathers on the wings as they fluttered by.
His sleep-filled eyes rounded. “What?”
“Being polite and understanding.”
He shrugged. “What am I supposed to say?”
“Tell me what you really think.”
His eyebrow lifted. “About what?”
“About what happened that night.” I didn’t need to clarify; we both knew the night I was referring to. It was supposed to be a night we wouldn’t forget, and it was, but not for the reason we had wanted. “And about how you felt when I left you. Tell me your selfish thoughts. I know you have them—you are part human.”
He eyed me curiously. “Why?”
“Because what you said earlier was real. You said what you were feeling, without thinking first. And I’m not sure you’ve ever done that before.” I lifted my right shoulder dismissively. “At least, not since I met you.”
He leaned forward; his hands resting on his knees. With his arms bent his muscles appeared more defined. “I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve done enough of that.”
“You’re allowed to be selfish once in a while without thinking about the other person’s feelings.”
“I miss you,” he said softly, with hesitation.
“That’s being unselfish and real?”
“Yes, because by saying that, I put pressure on you, and I don’t want to do that. I want to give you the time you need to accept how things are now and forgive me. But I’m tired of that. I want you back. I miss your scent and the feel of your hair when it falls in my face in the night. I miss the sound of your breathing.” I smiled, hearing my own thoughts come back to me. “I miss everything about you. And I want you to finally forgive me so that we can go back to the way things were.” He paused taking a breath. “How’s that for being real?”
It was a lot to take in, and I would be lying if it didn’t make me feel guilty for dragging my heels. My stomach felt sick with my indecisiveness. But it also felt good to hear him express how he truly felt.
I couldn’t help but smile. “How did that feel to finally get it out?”
He scowled at me, a familiar look I hadn’t seen on him since we met. “It felt great not to have to dance around your feelings and be honest.” He glanced up at the ceiling. “Did it change anything? Are you ready to come back to me?” Thank God, he wasn’t looking at me, I couldn’t handle that.
I swallowed the lump that suddenly formed. “No, not yet. I’m sorry.”
His gaze lowered, levelling those intense blue eyes my way. He sighed. “That’s okay, but thanks for letting me be honest.”
“I wish you’d be that way all the time.”
He scrunched up his face in distaste. “It’s not how I was raised.”
I nodded remembering he grew up in the 1900’s. Things were different back then. We were quiet for a few minutes, and then I remembered what I was planning to do next. “I’m going to call Adrian.” My voice sounded loud in the silence.
He frowned. “I told you his scent was on the island. He’s with Charlotte.”
I folded a leg over my knee and jiggled my foot. “Then explain to me why he taught us to fight and gave me the same advice you would.” I paused, searching his face. “Why would he do that if he was working for Charlotte? I saved Will last night because of Adrian. He gave me the tools to protect myself and others. That doesn’t sound like the kind of guy who wants to hurt us.”
His face was thoughtful while he pondered my words. Finally, he nodded. “Fine, call him and see what he has to say.”
I stood up, and glanced down at him. “Can I be honest and real with you too?”
“Of course.” He braced himself for what he thought was a rant like his.
I smirked at him. “We both know I wasn’t asking permission to call him. I was going to do it anyway.”
He grinned. “Yes, I know. But let me have the fantasy that you were checking with me first for your safety.”
All I did was return his grin, and then I left the room feeling lighter. I hadn’t forgiven him yet, but I knew I was one step closer.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Adrian
I went to an empty guest room so I could have privacy. Lauren wanted me to call from her room but having her listening to every word would make me more nervous than I already was. Once I was comfortably seated in a chair next to the window overlooking the back patio, I texted him. If h
e were with Charlotte, I thought it would be safer than a phone call.
Hi, was the only thing I could think of to start with.
He returned with the same greeting a few seconds later.
I waited, hoping he’d take the bait, and explain without prodding.
He did, about a minute later. Will you let me explain now?
Go ahead, I typed.
Can we meet so we can talk in person?
I wasn’t sure about that. For all I knew, it was a trap for Charlotte to grab me again.
Can I trust you?
He instantly replied, YES!!!
I took a few minutes to think it through before I answered. Fine, we’ll meet at Tom’s, but if I so much as smell another werewolf around, I will sic Nate on you. He’s just itching for a reason to kill you.
I promise, I won’t hurt you.
Be there in a half an hour. I instructed.
See you then.
I didn’t respond to that, just got up and headed downstairs.
I could hear Joe in the office, so I went in there. Joe was leaning back in a leather chair with his legs up on the coffee table. He was wearing a black denim button down and dark blue jeans. Nate was sitting next to him, freshly showered. His hair was still damp, and a long sleeved tan shirt was covering the bare chest I had seen earlier. The chest, that I could still visualize when I closed my eyes. Will was working away at his desk, trying hard to ignore his uncle. He glanced up when I entered and smiled so brightly that it lit up his face.
“Good morning, Meg. How did you sleep?” His voice, which was a lot better after a night’s sleep, was dripping with cheer. I didn’t miss the flick of his eyes in Nate’s direction, as if Will’s being nice to me was a dig at his uncle.
Nate didn’t seem to notice. His focus was on me. His eyes were imploring.
“Good morning. I slept great, thank you. Could I borrow a car from someone?” I was going to ask Joe, but the Rileys had many cars at their disposal.
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