"I just wanted this hellish vicious cycle to end at once."
“Calm down.”
"Why cannot we change our bodies? Damn it! You want to live, you want to go to college, you want to date and I just want to die...”
"Do not say that. For God's sake do not say such a thing!"
“You're like an angel, Ang ... And you’re sick. I'm like the devil himself, but I'm full of health! That's not fair!”
“Lisa, stay calm.” Two solitary tears ran through Angela's eyes and Lissa's pain was her pain as well. Seeing her like that only left her with even more fear of leaving. Who would take care of Lissa when she died? Who would get her out of that dark world she got into?
"Sorry for disturbing you," Melissa whispered softly, her body exhausted. "I only bring you problems, that’s why your mother hates me.”
“This is not true. I do not know from where you came up with this absurd idea." She sighed. "Ah, Lissa, you have to stop this mania from thinking that everyone hates you. When will you realize that you are surrounded by people who only want you good?”
There was no response. Lissa had fallen asleep. Angela sighed heavily and stroked the brunette's hair. She could not settle for the suffering life she was carrying, she wanted to somehow pull it out of the darkness, but though the love they felt for each other was enormous, it was not enough. Lissa needed a different love, a love that would drive the bad things out of her heart and bring the peace she needed so badly. But was there anybody in the world who could do that?
Before falling asleep, Angela wished from the bottom of her heart that one day Lissa would meet him. Someone who would show her how much she was destroying herself, for she did not even need to check her wrists ... Angela knew she had cut herself and feared that one day that cut would be so deep that it would end all the life she still had to live.
The next morning Angela was awakened by a delicious smell of coffee. When she opened her eyes, she found a large tray in front of her. She sat up in bed, rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times as she yawned.
“Good Morning!” Lissa said happily jumping on the bed.
“Good Morning!” She replied with a smile.
"I made that special breakfast for you. We have to celebrate.”
"Celebrate what?"
"My going to Voss's tour, that's it.”
Immediately the remnant of sleep that Angela had evaporated. She stared at her friend and smiled widely.
“Really? Are you really going?”
“Of course! Do you think I'm going to give the opportunity to some other preppie girl?”
“Oh, that's awesome!”
"I promise I'll document everything and get some autographs from him for you.”
“Thank you Lissa! I love you so much!”
“I know ... Now drink your coffee while I take a look at that boring fansite to see if there's any news.”
She got out of bed and went to the desk to work on the computer. The girl did not look like the night before. But that was a common thing, which Angela was already used to. Lissa certainly would never mention anything that had been said that night. It was rare moments when she showed weakness and Angela thought it best not to remind her of them. So she got into her friend's mood and acted as if nothing had happened.
Lissa could feel Angela's gaze behind her, but pretended not to notice. At that moment, she felt an immense shame for having, once again, collapsed in front of her friend just at the moment when she most needed peace. Taking a deep breath and trying to forget the pathetic scene that she had done the night before, Melissa began to pay attention to Gabriel Voss fansite. The last post was about the outcome of the draw. The hysterical fans' comments on Gabriel's video about the winner were hilarious and made the girl choke with a laugh. She did not want to admit it to herself, but she was enjoying that feeling that at least once in her life she had been better than someone in something.
"Excuse me, girls." Angela's mother's sweet, calm voice interrupted her laughter. Lissa straightened in her chair and looked shyly at her.
“Hello, Mrs. Moore! I'm sorry for messing up your kitchen ... I woke up early and wanted to prepare something special for Angela.”
"No problem." She smiled. "Actually, I did not come to scold you. I came just to say that your mother called right now and told you to turn on your cell phone.”
Angela stopped eating and looked at Lissa with regret.
“OK!” Lissa replied nodding.
"How are you feeling, baby?"
"I'm fine, Mom. The breakfast Lissa made is delicious, she's a great cook.”
"Oh, I'm glad you're all right.”
She gave Angela a quick kiss and left the room.
"Will you turn on your cell phone, Lissa?"
“No!” The girl said grumpily rising from the computer “It’s better go home and check everything closely, as well as need to shower, change clothes and sleep some more. Can you lend me some shoes? My boots are in your yard.”
"Of course." He shrugged. "You can get whatever you want.”
“Thanks”
Quickly, the girl slipped into her friend's modest closet and picked out a pair of sneakers.
"Argh," she mumbled as she left. "You're only a little girl. You need a little black in that closet. “
Angela looked at her friend's feet and burst out laughing.
"I never thought I'd live to see Melissa Bittencourt wearing baby pink shoes."
Rolling her eyes, Lissa went to her friend and kissed her on the cheek.
“See you later. When I come, I'll bring you your little trick.”
“You can keep her if you want.”
“Not even dead.”
They both laughed, hugged and said goodbye. Lissa took a taxi in front of her friend's house and in very bad mood said the address to the driver. When she got out of the car she noticed the man behind the wheel looked at her in a weird way. He was probably wondering what a poorly dressed and so rustic looking girl was doing in that fancy place.
Since she was already used to it, the girl just gave her a yellow smile and a few notes before she started walking down the sidewalk. No wonder people who passed by her stared at her from head to toe. Melissa Bittencourt was in the middle of Madison Park “one of Seattle's most luxurious neighborhoods” dressed only in a plain sweater, crumpled skirt, and pink cheesy sneakers. Her clothing was completely different from the other people, who dressed designer clothes. However, the girl didn’t give a fuck.
As she stood in front of the huge mansion gate where the girl lived, she felt a tightness in her chest. She hated that place with all the strength of her soul. She wished she could never walk there again, but she could not find the courage to finally leave the house, even if she was spiteful of her mother's questionable behavior, she was afraid she would not be around when things got out of hand. With a deep breath, she rang the intercom and identified himself with security. The gate opened in a crack and soon it was inside the huge, luxurious property.
She hurried through the garden, crazy to lock herself in the room and hoping not to bump into anyone. She entered the house and climbed the two flights of stairs. Unfortunately, she did not get what she wanted. When she opened the bedroom door, she saw the mother sitting on her bed waiting for her with a face of few friends.
"Melissa," Penelope said, jumping to her feet. "What sort of time do you call this?"
"Oh, come on," The girl replied by closing the door behind her. "This is not the first time and it will not be the last time I've slept outside.”
"I was really worried, you know that?"
"I know," she said sarcastically, pulling off the sneakers that clutched her feet.
Penelope watched her every move and it irritated her deeply. Lissa didn’t want to look at her mother, but it was impossible don’t do it when she stood in front of her with arms folded. She was a beautiful woman, elegant and extremely futile. By that time in the morning and she was already all produced with her brande
d clothes, heels and exquisite makeup ... Well, for the makeup until she had an explanation.
"What are these clothes?" Penelope demanded to know.
Lissa shrugged nonchalantly.
“My work uniform.”
Penelope sighed deeply and rubbed her temples. The white face turning red.
"You don’t have to work anywhere in the world."
"For your information, the PUB is a wonderful job and I do need it to earn my money! You know I'm just staying in this house trying to keep you from being killed in one of your "incidents."
“You don’t need that! We are rich!”
"No," she cried, bursting with rage from the night. "Allan is rich and you're just something else he bought!”
Penelope responded with a slap in her face, so strong that Lissa swayed. She just didn’t fall to the floor because she leaned against the dresser.
"Look what you make me do!" she said in a deep voice. "You know how to take me seriously!"
Lissa smiled bitterly and faced her mother with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm always my fault, am I?"
“Melissa ... Please, stop it!”
"Don’t worry." the girl said opening the wardrobe and grabbing a backpack and tossing some clothes in. "You'll be free of me for a long time.”
“As well?”
"Angela signed me up for a contest and I won. I'm going on tour with Gabriel Voss.”
"Gabriel Voss? That rock singer?”
“Yep.”
"This is crazy, you did not even ask me for permission!"
“I don’t need. I am twenty years old, I am an adult and I control myself.”
"When will you learn to share things with me?"
"Maybe when you decide to believe me and stop blaming me for everything."
"Okay." Penelope held up her hands in surrender. "You can go on this tour. It might even be good for you to have a little fun, get distracted, and get back to normal.”
"Do not come get a good mother now, okay?"
“Lissa...”
“Leave me alone. I have a headache.”
“Well I ... I just wanted to tell you what happened last night...”
"I know." She laughed angrily. "It was just an incident. I already know it. You don’t have to keep repeating.”
“But this time it really was...”
Losing her patience, Lissa dropped her pack on the floor and faced her mother again.
"Just do me a favor," she said through his teeth. "Next time do not call me. I do not want to know, understand? I do not care about your sick relationship with Allan anymore.”
“Lissa...”
“Get out of my room. I want to be alone.”
Penelope nodded and left immediately. Lissa felt a tightening in her heart. She hated the conflicting feelings she had for her mother. That monstrous mix of love and hate. The girl knew that the "incident" would happen again and she feared do not care, because if this happened, it would mean that she had defeated love after all.
She didn’t know for sure when she started to cry, but as she packed things in her backpack, she felt the tears running down her face. She couldn’t spend another minute in that house, and later, when she received the fateful news of a visit that could never be ignored, she decided she had to leave immediately.
When she arrived at Angela's house, she was greeted with the same kind of affection. She tried to disguise as much as she could, she made up some excuse, saying they should spend time together as she would travel in the tour and will stay away for a full year. Luckily, Angela seemed to have believed or if she had not believed, she had disguised herself very well.
The next 30 days passed faster than Melissa Bittencourt would like.
The brunette made a point of spending every spare second of her time with her best friend, even though she often had to face the songs of Gabriel Voss and her shows on the DVD. It may be difficult to understand, but the fact is that the time they spent away would be far more difficult for Lissa than for Angela. The friend was a kind of balm for her wounds, Angela was the reason the girl hadn’t gone mad.
The last week before the start of the tour was the worst. Angela was very excited, so happy to imagine a thousand of situations that her friend could live that she could barely realize that Lissa was taking her body even more to the limit than usual.
Due to the problems and worries that occupied her mind, the brunette had lost the count of how many days she didn’t sleep or eat and think about the time she would spend away from everything and everyone she loved made her even more anxious and, in a way, fearful.
Melissa Bittencourt liked the self-destructive routine she had created for herself. She knew when it was safe to search for her escape routes and how to hide the side effects of such attitudes from everyone she knew. However, she was about to embark on a journey surrounded by strange and, worse, famous people.
The waitress's small body shuddered at the thought of what might happen if someone discovered her dirty secrets.
Because, yes, she knew she wouldn’t be able to go through the next year without causing new scars.
The great proof of this is that the brunette had taken almost an hour hiding in the bathroom, with the freezing water falling directly on the newly made cut in the left thigh, the result of an outbreak of rage after an unfriendly discussion with her mother the night before.
Sleepily and with shaking hands, Lissa had sunk the razor into her skin causing a deeper cut than she intended. She almost panicked when she realized that the bleeding was not stagnant, not because she feared hit a vein, — a fact that would make him bleed to death. She only cursed herself mentally for committing such a flawed act in Angela's bathroom. She didn’t want her friend find her in that situation.
It was with a long sigh of relief that she realized that she had only exaggerated. She had not even lost as much blood as he imagined. She freaked out after all.
With her body trembling, Lissa rose from the cold ground, dried herself, arranged a bandage, and prepared herself for the trip she would make in the morning, although it was still a few hours before the sun came up.
Before leaving the room, she wrote a note to her best friend and left as stealthily as it used to get just a little more difficulty, since she was carrying a huge bag that Angela and her mother had arranged with care.
The girl knew that Angela was going to freak out when I woke up and did not find her there, but Lissa knew if waiting to say goodbye as it should, eventually cry and show how depressed and unhappy she was.
While the brunette skirt sneak through the front door of the house and had the good fortune to find a taxi, Angela remained immersed in the world of dreams. I dreamed of Harvard, with many friends, with large brown hair covering her head and mostly dreamed that Lissa was happy.
The taxi driver took Melissa to the international airport, where the girl had agreed to meet with the production of Gabriel Voss. She had suggested it. It would be better that they met secretly on the hotel.
The girl paid the driver, stepped down from the taxi and entered the airport. Even at that morning hour the place was already packed. Hundreds of people came and went hurriedly pushing their luggage. The rows of check in and dispatch bags were in kilometers, which left her discouraged. Just hated queues. Taking a deep breath and clutching her coat over the body to protect against the intense cold morning, Lissa started to walk pulling the huge piece, which those two both had placed there, anyway? Then she felt the phone vibrating in his pants pocket.
“Melissa Bittencourt?” She recognized the voice of the guy who had spoken to her the night before.
“Yes, myself.”
“Are you already in the airport?”
“Yeah!”
“I’ll find you. Where exactly are you?”
She looked around trying to find some reference point.
“I'm near the escalators on the left side.”
“Okay, how can I identify it?”
Lissa rolle
d her eyes. They had not the stupid photo of her kissing the Voss?
“I think I'm the only one here who is not in a hurry.”
“That doesn’t help too much.”
“Okay” She bit her lip and thoughtful “I'm a huge red suitcase and quite striking.”
“I think I've seen you.”
She noticed the crowd and saw a blond man with the phone to your ear approaching. Even without knowing if it was him, he started waving. Fortunately, she had not gone vexation.
“Hello” He said beaming.
“Hi.”
“I'm Arthur Montgomery” He said reaching out “Nice to meet you in person.”
“Melissa Bittencourt” She greeted him.
“I'm Gabriel’s personal assistant.”
Lissa giggled.
“Oh, you're like ... Nanny of him?”
“No” His face was completely flushed “I am the assistant ...”
“I see” She decided to tease him a little bit more “It's like the secretary.”
“No” He laughs half-hearted smile. “It’s totally different from that.”
“But you take care of everything for him is not it? Notes phones, make calls, and select and deselect commitments...”
“Exact.”
“Also, should take care of food, the hobbies, activities...”
“Yes.”
“So… you are even the babysitter.”
Lissa thought the man would explode so much embarrassment. For some reason, she felt comfortable enough with Arthur for brat it. Maybe it was the numerous calls him last month.
“Miss, you have a deep sense of humor” It answered every professional, and she laughed.
“Oh what” She gave him a playful punch on the shoulder “I'm just kidding. Do not take offense. Just to break the ice ... Oh, and do not call me Miss. This is so corny.”
After a long minute, he finally seemed to relax and even smiled.
“It's all right. But now, only by a legal question, could you show me your identity card?”
“My Identity?” She looked feigning astonishment “Oh, no... All right, all right ... You got me. I'm not Melissa Bittencourt.”
“What?”
“Look” she whispered right next to it “The thing is this... I killed the real Melissa and took her place... Her body is under my bed right now.”
Broken Angel (English Edition) Page 3