"What's the matter, Mel?" He repeated the question. The voice, this time, was sounding anxious and perhaps even a little worried, but the girl did nothing to calm the singer. How could she, if she felt as if she were about to succumb?
It wasn’t the first time that a crisis struck her, and possibly it would not be the last. So, Melissa Bittencourt knew she needed to get away - not just from Gabriel, but from anyone who crossed her - she wouldn’t be able to control her feelings. Without her usual escape route, she knew she would be shaking so badly that she wouldn’t be able to stand up and she’ll cry in epic proportions... All she could wish it was locking herself in her room before ruining the family holiday.
As an attempt to get rid of the iron grip that was the hugs of the singer, the brunette used all the strength she still had in a push. It did not work.
Feeling the feeble attempt to get away, Gabriel pulled the trembling young woman closer to him, and as it seemed he couldn’t get a vocal answer from her, he used one hand to lift her chin so that their eyes met. What he saw made his heart clench.
The green eyes are completely reddened, stared at him with too much sadness, and although Lissa continued to struggle to keep the woman's mask strong and unwavering, there was in that pair of eyes a mute and almost desperate plea for help.
Confused, not knowing what might have happened to have his guest in that state, the singer approached his face a little more of hers and returned to speak gently, as he would speak to a frightened child who had lost his parents.
“Lissa, talk to me, what happened?”
Even if she wanted to, Melissa could not answer. She was beginning to feel dizzy, and the suffocation that had begun in the bathroom seemed to increase every moment. In a desperate attempt to keep herself upright, she clung to the singer, trapping her fingers in his leather jacket and bringing him so close to her that it seemed as the two bodies, masculine and feminine, would melt into one.
Looking into Gabriel's eyes and feeling him so close to her, Lissa could feel an invisible, non-existent breath of air flow through her nostrils and soothe her burning lungs, almost as when she cut her skin. Her heartbeat was also present, but there was something more ... Something she could not, and did not even want, to identify. Something that made her sure that she was in the arms of her new escape route, but one that, it seemed, was far more beneficial, at least physically, than usual.
However, Gabriel’s eyes and the warmth of his embrace was not enough to free her from the panic crisis. She still needed something that would take her mind away, erase all the pain, for, at least, a few seconds, as it did when she saw her blood sprout and run down her wrist. It was moved by this desperation that Melissa Bittencourt looked away from the pair of chocolate eyes and led them to the lips of men.
Unconsciously, she moistened her own lips. She did not know how, but something within told her that all the rest would disappear if she merged with the man who supported her.
An insistent voice whispered to Gabriel that he should either leave the girl or, at most, take her to some quiet room, give her a glass of water, and let her calm down, but his mind wasn’t able to deal with the way how his body seemed to take on a life of its own as he saw the emerald gaze settle on his mouth as the tip of her tongue slowly traced red lips.
He knew he was making a mistake. Perhaps it is taking advantage of the fragility of your fan, but the Rockstar was unable to restrain his movements and before either of the two realized what was coming. Gabriel won the very short distance that separated their faces and pressed his lips for Lissa's.
A low sigh from her and he was lost. He moved gently, but he felt as if he couldn’t separate their mouths... Never again. When her small hands released the tightening grip on his jacket and clung to the brown strands of hair, they both moaned softly.
There it was. The wonderful sensation that Melissa was looking for, which she could only find in her precious and destructive blades. But this time... Oh this time, the peace that invaded her was even greater, more intense than every time she had cut herself together. For a few seconds, as she kissed and responded fervently to the kiss, she was able to feel good about herself, worthy of some happiness. During the seconds when she was as close to Gabriel as she had ever been to any other man willingly, she conjectures that when she opened her eyes she would discover that the chaos that was her life hadn’t been more than a nightmare, a terrible nightmare that Voss had finally made her wake up.
The tears of despair had just given way to the new tears, but this time of relief, when a voice was able to infiltrate the young couple and burst the bubble that kept Lissa in relative peace and safety.
"That's what every fan would like to win..." As if struck by lightning, Lissa and Gabriel parted immediately, and at the same time looked at Karen, who looked at them with an accusing glance.
The singer couldn’t have known, but Melissa knew that the evil restrained fury that she saw in the sight of the youngest Voss was destined, totally, to her.
"And now, emo girl, do you sell the story to the tabloids? Or will you cling to him like a tick until you make my brother's life hell?”
"Karen ..." Gabriel tried to silence his sister, but was interrupted by a hand-raise that made it clear she would not shut up.
"For God's sake, Gabriel, do you want everything to be repeated?"
Melissa didn’t know and wasn’t even interested to know about what the two brothers were talking about, but she was tired of the look of disdain with which she had to deal with since she was introduced to Karen and, at that moment, still having to struggle with the remnants of a recent and powerful panic attack, coupled with the innumerable questions that had arisen in her mind, from her reaction to Gabriel's approach, she decided that she would no longer bank the educated girl. After all, she was far from that and never did the kind that lowered head or be quiet.
“What is your problem? Who do you think you are to act like you're better than me? To treat me like crap?”
All Lissa received in response was a feigned offended look.
“I know how you are…” The brunette continued, guided by the anger that had contained within her, since the first joke about herself that had been forced to listen to accept. "You’re nothing than a spoiled little girl, accustomed to have everything who you want, to having wills done, who passes over people without caring about anything but yourself.”
“Gabriel!” It was Karen's turn to cling to her brother in a tearful voice. "Are you going to let her talk to me like that? I just... I was just being a good sister and...”
“Mel, please!” The singer hugged his younger sister, who quickly buried her face in his chest, caressing her well-treated hair as he gave to Melissa a pleading look. He didn’t want to be between his sister and the young woman who somehow seemed to mess with him in such a short time as no other had ever done.
For a second, Melissa imagined she had gone too far, but when she was ready to shut up and walk away, even she was not willing to apologize, she encountered Karen mocking toward her. She was enjoying herself, happy to have her brother's prompt defense.
"You're a snake, Karen!"
In answer, Karen clutched her brother even more and sobbed.
“Melissa!” Gabriel scolded her. "I'm not going to let you talk to my sister like that."
"It's because you're as venomous as she is.” Without waiting for another reprimand, the brunette turned her back to the brothers, without care for Gabriel's disbelieving gaze, and ran toward the room she occupied.
Something inside her told that she triumphed over the steps and then having her body heavily leaned against the locked door that she had gone too far and perhaps done exactly what Karen wanted, but Lissa wat known for the good manners or self-control. If she felt trapped, her only defense was to attack. Possibly she'd managed to ruin everything and be sent away before she was able to get her thoughts in order, and though it would break her heart to know that she would disappoint Angela, Melissa would ne
ver, ever, give up the only weapon that had kept her relatively whole for the past few years.
Gabriel Voss was still a few minutes looking, staring at the steps Melissa had walk, trying to understand what had just happened. He didn’t come to any conclusions until her sister's tearful voice made him leave the disquieting urge to chase his fan aside.
"That girl is synonymous with trouble, Gabe.”
The Rockstar acknowledged that delicacy wasn’t the strong point of Melissa Bittencourt, but he couldn’t have denied the behavior of unfriendly younger sister. Trying to be fair and loving, because he didn’t want to hurt Karen's feelings, he forced himself to smile and with his fingertips wiped the tears that trickled down the female face in front of him.
"You must admit that you were not too kind either.”
"I do not believe you're going to defend her.” Karen stepped away from her brother in a rush. "And stand against me."
Gabriel would have liked the beak he saw on his sister's face in another situation, but at that moment he wondered if Melissa wasn’t, at least, right. His sister was a spoiled little girl and he had to admit that he was carrying a bit of guilt for it, because he was always willing to put his hand on her head, to defend her even when she was wrong. In fact, Gabe was full of good intentions when he gave concessions and pardoned Karen's actions, just wanted to make his sister's life easier, to let her know that she was unconditionally loved brotherly, after all he knew because he was the closest to her, who in her heart felt inferior because she had been adopted, but perhaps the singer had exaggerated his care and done more harm than good.
"I'm not against you or defending anyone. But you need not have shown such animosity ... All the jokes you made over dinner are enough.”
“I was just trying to protect you, and...”
"Well, little sister," Gabriel interrupted gently. "I do not need protection."
"You know how it will end..."
"Actually, I don’t know... I might have known if you had not interrupted us." He blinked and smiled at his sister. He didn’t want to talk about what had happened when he wasn’t sure what that kiss meant.
"She's a fan, Gabriel! She shouldn’t even be here with your family. Have you considered the consequences? She can sell the story to any tabloid or simply start commenting about your personal life on the internet... And I don’t want to mention the possibility of the story repeating...”
"None of this will happen, Karen!" The always gentle voice of Gabriel sounded higher than intended and the Rockstar is reproached to realize that it could end up calling the attention of the rest of the family, which would only make it worse. "Melissa wouldn’t do that."
"You don’t have a way to know it.”
"According to your logic, neither of us knows her well... Then I might even be wrong.” Gabriel had to force himself not to scream again when he saw his sister smile, apparently quite content to devalue Lissa. “Just like you. So let's close the subject and let time show us who's wrong here.”
Karen didn’t like her brother's position, but she would make him realize she was right, any way she could. But not now, it was Christmas, and since the emo girl had taken refuge away from her family, she could be the center of attention of Gabriel and let him spoil her a little more. She had missed him and wanted to enjoy every minute of the singer's side.
"All right ..." the youngest made a charm before pulling her brother into a tight hug. "Anyway, you still have a gift to give me, do not you?"
Gabriel smiled at the sight of Karen's bright eyes, her joy always infecting him. So he allowed himself to be led back into the living room and have his sister sitting on his lap as he watched her tear the wrapping paper from the box they had recovered, but deep inside he really wanted to go Melissa's room, to know how the girl was, and perhaps if his sister's untimely attitude had not spoiled everything, to taste one more kiss from those soft lips.
His wish wouldn’t be fulfilled, he was sure when he had a chorus of all the presents, asking him to sing. Resigned, he approached Arthur to pick up the guitar that the assistant held out to him.
"Do me a favor, man ..." he asked as he tuned the instrument. "Take a look at Mel, just to find how she is."
Arthur obviously was surprised at the request, but before he could ask for an explanation, the singer began fingering the first notes of a well-known Christmas song.
CHAPTER SIX - COUNTING STARS
“I feel something so right
Doing the wrong thing
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing[8]”
L ocked in her bedroom, Melissa Bittencourt felt lost, almost helpless. Although the oppressive desperation she had felt had slowed to normality, a new feeling had taken its place. A feeling she didn’t recognize or could name, which made her unconsciously take her fingertips to her newly kissed lips and close her eyes, reliving in her heart what she had experienced when she was in the singer's arms.
She wished to have anyone to talk about it, and maybe share the strange feeling that although she had never experienced it. She wished to try it again. Lissa almost had the feeling that the early interruption had stolen something that she just discovered she was no longer capable of living without.
For a second she wondered if it was not the case to call Angela. Her best friend was the only person in the world with whom the girl could talk honestly, but tell Ang that she had kissed her idol and then mistreated his sister didn’t seem like a good idea ... Especially on the Christmas’ night. She was almost certain that her tour would come to an end before even started, and this news would be the worst she could give her friend.
Thinking about the disappointment she would cause almost made Melissa leave the room and apologize to Gabriel for the way she had acted, but she didn’t regret anything she had done. Not even the kiss that proved be more beneficial than the brunette could have previously imagined, and in addition, or have experienced, Lissa wasn’t sure she would be able don’ try to take a new dose.
With a sigh of indicated resignation and confusion, the brunette forced herself to move away from the bed and, pondering about the latest events, walked around the room, like a cat.
When she was tired of walking from one side to the other, Melissa sat on the floor in the middle of the room, in front of the fireplace, with her sketchbook in her lap. Her fingers moved almost automatically, forming the contours of Gabriel's well-made face, without the girl noticing what she was drawing. She was just trying to pass the time, since her Christmas’ night was definitely over.
As the tour that would come to end soon, at least, she could do was finish the draw to her best friend wished to have... It would be a way to placate the disappointment she would cause. She was determined to even put on her best “sorry girl” mask and ask for an autograph before she left.
With a weary sigh, Lissa studied the sheet in her lap and wished she had not. She could never hand over the drawing she had in hand to Angela. What the graphite had formed was the singer's parted lips, as well as his eyes, though colorless, reflecting the anticipation that preceded the kiss that did not leave her mind alone.
Suddenly her eyes filled with tears. Strangely, Melissa realized that she didn’t want to be sent away, not because she knew she would hurt her friend, but also because she wanted to feel, once more, the heady sensation of peace that took in that night, when she had Voss's lips over hers.
“Shit!” She cursed softly. She almost said another swat of profanity when she heard the bedroom door open.
Without look to know who the intruder was, without love of his own life to enter in her room. The girl tried to close the sketchbook and, with her hand still shaking, she tried to dry her tears.
“Wednesday?” Arthur's voice sounded behind her, and Melissa wanted to send him to hell, but she couldn’t get the voice out. “Melissa?” The assistant insisted when he didn’t receive an answer.
After clearing her throat, the girl stared at the fireplace and answe
red.
"If you came to tell me that I must go, you didn’t have to waste your time... I know."
"What..." Arthur tried to understand the girl's reaction, but she didn’t let him continue.
"Just..." Melissa took another deep breath and turned to the assistant. She hated to see his eyes haunt her at the sight of her. She knew she must be pathetic, and after so many tears, she was sure that the heavy makeup she always wore was stained and her eyes were red. “Can you do me a favor?”
She hated the look she received, but she decided to take advantage of the circumstances to get what she wanted.
"I know you're upset with me" She made her best manly voice, then opened the sketchbook again, leafed through a few pages, until she found one of her favorite drawings: Angela's melancholy reproduction; her head tilted back, smiling. In the drawing, unlike the scene that inspired her, the girl wore long clear hair before the treatment against the leukemia she was facing and Lissa was at her side, happy to see her friend happy. “Can you get me an autograph?” Shy, Lissa handed the sketch to the assistant. "It's for my best friend, I promised I'd get one."
"What happened?" Arthur questioned, analyzing the drawing in his hands. It was beautiful. "Did you draw that?"
Melissa confirmed with a nod.
"Look, I'm not going to make trouble, okay? Can you get me the autograph or not?”
“Just after you tell me what happened. Gabriel told me to see how you are, and when I get here I find you all tearful, talking about leaving... You got something, did not you?”
It took Melissa some good seconds to get the information that the singer hadn’t told the assistant about her disagreement with his sister, and about the desperate kiss they had exchanged.
Suddenly, a spark of hope lit up inside Lissa. With a leap, she stood and lifted her face.
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