“It's not chase, it's admiration ... And I was thinking: you should start posting about the tour too... Any real fan would be exhibiting a million photos...”
“You know I hate it... I never know what to write, and frankly I don’t want to put up with comments from other stalkers.”
"Too late..." Angela laughed nervously. “They have already discovered your social networks… they are even questioning what fan you are who does not have any posts about Gabe and...”
“Oh, that sucks! I should delete the account... "Melissa grimaced. "I don’t give a shit about that. I only made those profiles because you insisted.”
“You don’t have to delete anything... Just post something. One of the videos you sent me or the photos...”
"It's your pictures, your videos... You know I did for you. I'm not going to share anything with those ill-loved ones who are probably cursing me right now.”
"How do you know they're cursing you?" Angela stared at the computer screen, her eyes locked on Lissa's.
"I've seen you fucking that beastly site a lot of times, the comments weren’t always pleasant, remember? You made some nasty ones when you imagined he was dating that actress...”
“She's a bitch!” Angela exclaimed." She just wanted to leverage her career, using Gabriel... It was clear that she didn’t like him. She even dated the actor in her new movie while still hanging out with Gabe...”
“What a bitch!” Lissa commented sulkily. She wasn’t a big fan of the Rockstar, but judging by the way he treated her despite not being valentines and not always treating him well, he was supposed to be an incredible boyfriend for someone normal. It was horrible to think that someone would betray him like this, especially for the whole world to know. "Maybe they weren’t in a relationship..."
"Of course they were ... But it would have been better if they hadn’t. He must have been devastated... So yes, she's a bitch, I think I'll always swear at her. But it's not the same with you... The fans are just jealous. They wanted to be where you are.”
But they would really hate her if they knew about the kisses she'd had with the singer. Lissa pondered, but since she hadn’t told about it to her friend, and she decided to stay quiet.
"And they're going to stay even longer, judging by the video he just posted..." Angela remained oblivious to her friend's thoughts. "Apparently touring is pretty much fun for you too.”
"What did he post this time?" Melissa asked with a mixture of dismay and shyness. “Why did he have to keep this damned profile so up-to-date?”
“A video of the end of the show, you were hugging him...” Angela focused on the face of the friend. "Lissa, what are you not telling me?"
"There's nothing to tell, Ang... That's what people expect me to do, is not it?"
"But you hate being hugged, especially for a guy and, dammit, you were wearing a dress..."
“It's hot here!” Lissa flinched. “We're in Texas, remember?”
"I didn’t put a dress in your suitcase..."
“It's a new dress... What's the matter?”
“None. Actually, it's great! But you don’t wear a dress anywhere near me... It's complicated until you let the coat down. And you were hugging a guy, wearing a dress with your arms out...”
Melissa looked around again, thinking that everyone could hear what Angela was saying as she was wearing a headset and then focused her gaze on her wrists, now properly covered in a light, almost transparent coat, but that covered perfectly her scars.
"I was wearing a coat..." The girl was discouraged. "That one actually..." She lifted her arms in frustration. "But it was hot and I was in backstage, there was almost no one around, it was dark and I was wearing the damn wristbands you put in my suitcase... So yeah, I took the drug off my coat for a moment." The tone of her voice unnoticed as she felt her eyes burn. “And for a few minutes I pretended to be normal. Just a normal girl at a show.”
“Lissa...” Angela called affectionately. “You are normal.”
"No. I'm not ... But that's okay. I don’t care.”
Well, it was clear to both that Melissa cared, but Angela didn’t want to start this conversation, not in internet, when anytime someone could come and stop them.
"I'm sorry, Lissa.” Ang spoke again after a moment watching her friend take a deep breath and swallow the tears that threatened to fall.
Melissa forced a smile.
"You know, you're right, until it was fun... I just did not want to admit that you would not be convinced."
Angela just nodded. She was thinking of what to say to change the subject when she saw Gabriel Voss approaching her friend, and with a naturalness that even she didn’t, to hug Melissa from behind, leaning on the girl's shoulders and pressing her against his chest. Angela knew Melissa enough to know that her friend's expected reaction would be to walk away and utter a scathing comment, yet all she did was to get a little tense and lower her head, as if ashamed.
Yes. There was something going on and even curious, she wouldn’t force to find out what it was. Not when deep down she was glad to see that Gabriel seemed to be breaking through some barriers. Maybe they would become friends.
Melissa felt her body stiffen in the sudden embrace, but before she could get rid of the unexpected touch, she heard Gabriel's voice close to her ear, making her shudder, though it was not directed directly at her.
“Hi Angela!” He nodded at the notebook, making Angela melt and forget about the friend who had practically turned into a block of stone in the embrace she received from Gabriel. “We finally met.”
"Hi..." Ang replied shyly. “I ... It's ... Wow! I can’t believe I'm even talking to you. Oh my gosh! This is fantastic and...”
"Angela ..." Lissa whimpered, trying to relax as she lent one of her headphones so the singer could join in the conversation. "He's just a guy, just like everyone else. Stop it!”
Gabriel chuckled.
"I know, I know..." Angela replied and her face was red. "It's good to meet you too, Gabriel. You rocked the show tonight.”
“Thank you!” The singer answered and released Melissa's shoulders, walked around the sofa and sat down next to the girl. “Have you seen any of the videos that Mel recorded?”
“Yeah... I watched all the videos that Mel sent...” Angela threw a meaningful look at her friend. “They look great.”
Her tone didn’t go unnoticed.
“Since you are getting so little friends, you could speak to this singer that I hate when he calls me Mel.
“Melissa!” Angela scolded her. Gabriel only laughed again, already accustomed to the risky way of his guest.
"I think Mel suits her, don’t you, Angela? She’s so sweet…" He remarked as if he didn’t mind the loaded expression on the girl sitting next to him.
“Of course!” Angela shook her head in mute refusal. "When she's not thinking about killing someone, she's really sweet..."
“Very funny, Ang.”
"Well, girls, I'm sorry to disturb your conversation..." Gabriel interceded. “But it's time to follow trip ... I just came to call you, Lissa, before Arthur has a heart attack. We are late.”
"Okay..." Melissa cast one last glance at the screen, recording her friend's face. “We'll talk later. It's time for you to get some rest.”
“All right, Mom.” Angela winked at her. “Good trip to you. I love you, Lissa!”
Before Melissa could respond, Ang blew a kiss to the screen and disconnected.
"She's incredible..." Gabriel commented as he watched Mel turn off the notebook and put it in her backpack.
"She is ..." The girl nodded, and with a sigh put the pack on her back. “Come on.”
The singer didn’t answer, but he took the female hand and squeezed it.
Melissa waved her hand away from his, and at the same time she wanted to reciprocate the comforting grip she was receiving. She ended up doing nothing and they went holding hands to a side exit, thus avoiding the crowd of fans and paparazzi at the hotel's
main door.
Arthur seemed to lose his breath when he saw them approaching.
“Really?” The manager put his hands to his face. "Is that the way you try to disguise it?"
No one answered, but Gabriel let go of Mel's hand before the door opened.
"I'll do more than hold your hand when we get to New York," he whispered promisingly before they got into the car that would take them to the airport.
And he kept his promise.
When they were properly settled in a new hotel after 4 hours of flight that were spent between stolen kisses when no one was looking and naps, Gabriel Voss made it a point to accompany Melissa to her room. The girl thought he would leave her at the door of the room and go to his own room, but the singer entered without even being invited. As soon the door was closed, he would take hold of Lissa's face and kiss her, willingly, making her pant.
“Damn it!” Lissa pulled away as the kiss came to an end." Are you really going to grab me all the time?"
"Unfortunately, only when we're alone," he replied, trying to not to let her ill-will put him down. It was crazy to kiss her for real, since he felt her throw herself into his arms after the show.
"You have to stop it..." She continued as if he had said nothing and settled on the bed to remove the boot she wore. “Arthur's right, you’re flagging too much. And it's not like I want to keep kissing you all the time.”
Gabriel thought about kissing her again, only to see her return the kiss with the same intensity of his to prove that what she said was a lie, but he was physically tired after a show and hours of flight, besides tired of staying trying to cope with Melissa's mood swings.
“What the fuck!” Lissa threw herself on the bed as the singer left her room, slamming the door. “This will never work...”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - WONDERWALL
“I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now”[19]
T he night had been horrible like the most nights of Melissa. She had barely managed to sleep, and when she had fallen into unconsciousness, she was awakened shortly after another nightmare. That was why she felt tired and her head began to ache.
All she wanted was to throw herself in bed and spend the day off enjoying the ceiling of her hotel room, but she had made a promise to Angela and she never failed to keep her promises. So, she tried to put away her temper and glanced at herself in the mirror, only to realize that nothing was out of place, since she didn’t like her reflection.
Leaving the bathroom behind, she approached the bed to pick up the bag. She thanked mentally for being too cold in New York, so she could wear long sweaters, pants, boots, gloves, and a hat. In a way, she was eager to know the Times Square.
Of course, she didn’t admit it to Angela when she spoke earlier and had to agree to take the walk alone. Her friend insisted so much that it was impossible to deny. It would certainly be more fun if Ang were with her, but unfortunately things were not like that, so Lissa would have to complete the itinerary herself.
As she was about to leave, Gabriel entered the room, surprising her with the unexpected visit.
"Don’t you knock on the door?" Melissa complained with mock irritation. She couldn’t be as rude as before, especially after seeing the singer's hurt face as he left her room the night before.
"Sorry... I..." The singer apologized in embarrassment.
"Hey." The girl smiled. "Relax. Never mind.”
“You will go out?” He asked, a little more comfortable.
“Yes, I will”
“And where are you going?”
The girl shrugged.
“Around. Perhaps the Times Square or something. Arthur said I could have a day off like everyone else.”
“Yes, of course. Can I go with you? I'm free too. It's dangerous to walk around, alone.”
"No, Gabriel. Thanks for the concern, but I want to walk around to get some space. I don’t want to draw attention from people walking with a Rockstar and his security guards.”
He thought about it for a moment and then snapped his fingers.
“I can handle it. Wait.”
Before Melissa could protest, the singer left the room. Without knowing exactly what to do, the girl sat on the bed and took a deep breath, wanting to hit her head on the wall. She needed to find a way to dispense with Gabriel. To her, it was no chance to wander around New York next to someone who made her stupid heart almost jump through her mouth. She needed peace.
While thinking in a solution, the Rockstar returned to the room; this time wearing several layers of warm clothes and huge round glasses, like Harry Potter.
“So…” He said smiling “Am I well disguised?”
Melissa couldn’t avoid laughing.
"Gabriel, this is undoubtedly the worst disguise that ever existed on the face of the earth. Your pretty face will not go unnoticed by anyone.”
Before she realized what she had said, Lissa noticed Gabriel's eyes widening, along with a smile that made dimples appear on his cheeks.
“You think I'm handsome!” He exclaimed without pretense, there was just... Fascination.
"Did you use any kind of drugs before you came back?" The girl cracked, trying to fix the bullshit she'd said, but her trembling and irregular voice denounced her.
Embarrassed, she was unable to hold Gabriel's gaze any longer, averting her eyes to the floor and biting her lip hard. She wanted to punch herself.
“Hey, do not be shy” He nudged her, playfully “Everyone thinks me as handsome, why would it be different with you, Wednesdey?”
"What did you call me?" Melissa looked up at him, with fake furious in her eyes.
The girl knew that Gabriel was trying make her comfortable. She could always be morbid, insensitive, and often cruel, but she was not stupid. She knew that the singer had some kind of feeling for her, and somehow, he expected a return. The realization that she thought him handsome would please him and give him a small victory, but there he was... Leaving something that was important to him aside, just so as not to annoy her. It wouldn’t take much for her to assert her words and give Gabriel what he longed for, even if it were something so small, but Melissa was coward enough not to allow herself to falter, even for those who deserved it.
“I called you… Wednesday” he repeated.
"You son of a bitch! You'll see just one thing!”
Her intention was to soften the mood and make they more comfortable. But the fate seemed to have its own plans, and as soon as the girl began to tickle Gabriel, she managed to stumble on her own legs and get off balance. She would have fallen if he had not supported her, just like most clichéd romantic movie scenes.
The contact of his firm hands on her back made her shiver. How many times she had dreamed of Gabriel's hands after seeing him strumming his guitar passionately?
“Are you okay?” The singer's ever-potent voice was now a hoarse whisper.
All she could do was nod, swallowing. She knew what was coming next. As of the other times, when the protective wall within her had ruined and left her at the mercy of the frightening feeling she felt for Gabriel Voss. In fact, she longed to surrender to him again. She was totally dependent on the singer... Like a damn junkie. She even closed her eyes, waiting for the moment when his lips would touch hers in a soft caress and her already accelerated heart beats in a painfully desperate rhythm. However, the only thing she felt was his hands pulling her carefully back.
"I think we better get going," he said, visibly shaken.
Melissa didn’t know why he had resisted her. It was the first time. Perhaps Gabriel had finally given up on understanding her... of wanting her. The thought made her pain. It was true that her feeling for the Rockstar was unknown to her, but she knew how strong it was. She simply couldn’t stand the idea of being rejected by the singer. With a bitter taste in her mouth and unbearable pain in her chest, Melissa Bittencourt did what she always did when things got out of her control: She ran.
She could
hear Gabriel behind her, screaming things she couldn’t understand. She was a coward, she didn’t accept what he felt for her, but she didn’t want to make him stop to like her. So, all she could do was to isolate herself somewhere where she could contain that terrifying pain in the only way she knew, even if it destroyed her even more.
For the singer who followed her, the conflicting feelings matched with the Melissa. But his shock was that in an instant he was pleased with himself for not having embarrassed her with a kiss, and in the next, intrigued by her sudden flash of anger. Part of himself wished deeply that she was just upset that she hadn’t been kissed, but he could not be too hopeful. Dealing with Melissa Bittencourt was like walking in a minefield. Trying to understand what was going through her head was a waste of time, so it was best to try to reach her and try to make her comfortable, otherwise the long-awaited trip would go to the marsh.
Gabriel knew he couldn’t question her about the sudden escape, or require her to tell him openly about the feelings that plagued her, because Melissa worked like an oyster. Anyone who tried to break her defenses was stopped with a natural reaction, a substance harmful to the invader. In the case of oysters the substance is called mother-of-pearl, but in Melissa, it was called cholera. If the singer tried to force her to open, the girl's instinct would be to repulse him with rudeness and offense, so the best solution would be to make her forget what had happened. Even more because the analogy made him think his own situation well, because he didn’t want to be a pearl to Melissa. He didn’t want to be hit with defensive substances to make her suffer... For making her feel pain.
He managed to reach her on the stairs. He didn’t know that thin, apparently fragile body could run so fast. He was out of breath as he grabbed her arm, causing her to stop.
"Let me go, Gabriel!" She exclaimed, prepared to shake him off as usual.
"No," he said firmly. "We still have a ride to do."
The girl stared at him in disbelief. Probably surprised for not to be charged for the sudden attack.
“You are crazy!” She hissed, her lips trembling, her face pale and her eyes watering.
Broken Angel (English Edition) Page 16