Without know exactly what to do, he pulled her into a clumsy hug and held her in his arms even as she tried to pull away.
“It's okay, Melissa”. He repeated close to her ear, speaking quietly, not wanting her to be frightened.
At some point, she was tired of trying to pull him away and she cried.
Arthur feared she would be almost catatonic again, but Lissa surprised him by hugging him back.
She didn’t say anything and he wanted to ask her what had happened, but he kept silent, holding her hold for so long that he could feel his arms and legs ache from the position he was.
It was the ringing of the personal assistant's phone that made Melissa pull away, looking at Arthur as if only now she had realized that it was him there.
He reached for the cell phone in the pocket of his jeans and cursed when he saw it was a call from Gabriel. He had completely forgotten that the singer was waiting for them.
“Hello!” He answered the call, standing up again and moved away from the bed, but kept his eyes on Melissa. She crawled across the mattress, seeming without even force to move, and closed her eyes before shrinking into a fetal position.
“Where are you?” The singer asked nervously. "I've been waiting for over half an hour, Arthur.”
"Melissa will not go to rehearsal..." He began to respond, only to be interrupted.
"Is she not going?" And may I ask why?”
"She's sick..." Arthur said what appeared to be half-truth. He wasn’t sure what the girl had, but the fact was that she wasn’t well.
"Sick?" The musician softened his tone. “How sick?”
"How anyone gets sick, Gabriel. Now you'd better go to rehearsal soon. I'm sorry I took so long to warn you.”
“And you?” The rocker questioned.
“What about me?”
"Are you not going to rehearsal?" Voss returned to his tone of irritation. "What's going on, Arthur? This story is very strange that Melissa is sick like that. What is the problem? If she does not want to go, just let her.”
The assistant took a deep breath.
"Alright..." He lied with some effort. “She prefers to stay at the hotel. I was already imagining after the weather in which you were at breakfast.”
“Fantastic!” The singer complained. "Then let her stay, and let's go."
"You'd better go soon, it's already too late, and the guys in the band are already waiting. I'll go later.”
Gabriel didn’t respond, but showed that he wasn’t satisfied by the end of the call.
Arthur sighed, putting the phone away.
Melissa opened her eyes slowly and tried to focus her gaze on the assistant, but there were black dots flashing in her vision. She shifted, trying to take control of her body again, but she felt too weak.
"Arthur..." she called softly, surprised that her voice was still coming out.
He approached the girl and bent back to look at her closely.
“What's it?” He asked and watched her. The girl didn’t look well at all. Maybe she was really sick. “What are you feeling? I think I'd better take you to a hospital...”
"No..." she said weakly. “Just... Can you get me something to eat? Something light and water, I think”. She asked, knowing that the weakness was the result of the days when she didn’t feed herself, allied to the new panic attack she experienced upon returning from her recent reunion with Gabriel.
Arthur nodded.
Without a word, he left the room for a second.
“I want you to get me a doctor." He told the security guard after closing the door. "Discreetly.”
“Yes, sir”. The security man agreed immediately. "Is she all right?"
"It's going to be... It's just a bad feeling, but I think we'd better see a doctor, just in case."
“Right. Shall I tell Mr. Voss?
"No," Arthur denied. “He is busy. Everything will be settled until Gabriel returns to the hotel.”
The bodyguard didn’t question, and with a new nod he made his way to the elevator.
Back in the room, he called the hotel reception and asked something to Melissa eat before she sat on the edge of the mattress where she was just the way he had left her.
“Come on... Let's find a more comfortable position”. He leaned closer and helped her onto the pillows. She was still too cold for him, so he covered her with a heavy duvet. "Do you want to talk about what happened?" He was no expert, but he had lived close to Gabriel when the singer used to experience bouts of panic and anxiety and from what he could see on Melissa's downcast countenance, she faced some psychologist's problems.
She shook her head.
"Okay... I've ordered something for you to eat and I've got a doctor..."
"No, Arthur!” She wanted to yell at him. “I said no doctors.”
"You said..." he confirmed. "But I did not obey. You can barely keep your eyes open, Melissa. It's to be glad that I didn’t carry you to a hospital.”
Lissa didn’t have the courage to argue, then she was silent, drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness, until they knocked on the door.
It was room service, but she couldn’t eat anything they brought. She could only drink the water, with Arthur helping her bring the bottle to her lips.
So, she didn’t complain when the doctor, an old man, too sympathetic, entered the room.
Arthur stood at the side of the bed as the doctor examined her, which made Melissa cringe and cry again in silence as the doctor pulled the sleeve from her coat to check her blood pressure.
The doctor examined the scars for a moment, but he said nothing. While positioning the stethoscope, he asked the personal assistant to leave him alone with the patient.
“Mel?” Arthur looked away from her exposed wrist trying not to panic with what he had just seen. “If you want, I'll...”
She forced herself to speak but could not look at him.
“It's fine, you can go.”
The assistant looked at the doctor for a moment and nodded.
“OK. I will wait outside.”
He leaned against the closed door and let out a sigh.
Holy shit! After that there was no way the day got any worse. He had no idea how to deal with that situation.
“Is everything okay, Mr. Montgomery?” The voice of the security man startled him.
"Yes..." He stammered. "You can take the rest of the day off. Melissa is not leaving today.”
"Do you need anything?"
“No” He nodded and watched the security guard move away.
Damn it! What had they gotten themselves into? Gabriel would go mad when he found out, and how would he keep everything under control?
Arthur had no answer to these and so many other questions that popped into his mind, but still he could not keep his thoughts.
“How is she?" The assistant questioned as soon as the doctor left the room. Among all his questions, that was the most urgent. He was worried about the girl.
“Weak and possibly dehydrated. I'd take her to the hospital for a better evaluation, but she's stubborn. She refuses to go to the hospital and as you are of legal age and are aware we can’t force her. I had her take a tranquilizer so she could rest.”
“And what happened?”
“Possibly a panic crisis and, although she denied it, I'm pretty sure she hasn’t been eating well.”
"A panic crisis?" Arthur repeated nervously, though he already suspected. “Why?”
“Stress, trauma, anxiety... I can’t exactly know without an accompaniment and this is not my specialty. I would recommend a psychiatric...”
“Is that so hard?”
"Not even the insane need psychiatric treatment, young man.” The doctor laughed lightly. "She needs expert advice, but she's not crazy. In fact, she is quite aware.”
"But..." Arthur paused to digest everything he had seen and heard there. "And the marks on the wrist?"
“Old scars”. The doctor confirmed what he already suspected. "I question
ed her about new ones, but she denied she had any other ones besides her wrists.”
“Suicide?” Arthur questioned with a racing heart, hoping for a negative answer.
“Self-mutilation." The doctor answered.
Shit! Even worst.
"You think she's still…"
"Maybe... I can’t rule out, or affirm.” The doctor placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder. “My recommendations: make sure she feeds well in the coming days. Fruits, soups... Something light, at least until she's better. And try to persuade her to seek help.”
The assistant nodded. He didn’t know what to say, he was still digesting the situation.
He exchanged a few more words with the doctor and received a prescription for a tranquilizer for Melissa in case a new panic attack happened.
He put the paper in his pocket, imagining that the girl wouldn’t take it as easily as he'd taken it that day. He knew she hadn’t fought and shouted because she was weak.
He came back into the room, afraid to leave her alone, only to find her asleep.
Looking at her tear-filled face, he felt sorry for her. She wasn’t the easiest person to live with, but the image of her, static and crying, as well as the scars on the pale skin of her fine wrist, would never leave Arthur's mind again. He wishes he would never see her like that again.
Carefully, he covered her and turned off the lights, before settling into an armchair near the window. He wouldn’t leave her alone.
As he watched her sleep, he thought of Gabriel and was even more certain that her friend was getting into a mess with no size when engaging Lissa, but unlike the other times, he didn’t want the singer to walk away from the fan. He just wanted the two of them not to sink into that deep well together. As far as he was concerned, he would try to keep them both safe.
It was a promise and Arthur was always good at keeping promises.
CHAPTER TWENTY - SAY SOMETHING
“And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl”[27]
G abriel Voss was glad to have finally returned to his hotel room that early evening. Of course, nothing compared to being at home, relaxed and with a free agenda. But after a tumultuous and tiring day, it was nice to be able to enjoy a hot bath and throw in the bed.
The rehearsal had been fruitful, though his head was far away, as he had been, in the last few days, still thinking about Melissa Bittencourt.
The only advantage of being so attached to that girl was that he had managed him to compose a new song. And that afternoon, while the band was getting ready for rehearsal, he had even strummed a new tune.
He was anxious for the rush to begin. Perhaps with a show each night could exhaust him physically, and finally get Mel out of his head. It was what he was determined to do. After all, it was clear that he was getting too involved and that she wasn’t really interested.
It was true that she had responded to the kisses with a good deal of enthusiasm a few times, but when they weren’t kissing, the girl always found a way to push him away.
And she had said in all letters, in the New Year, that they had nothing.
Well, he hadn’t made any compromises, but in his head, they had a connection, something even more palpable than any denomination. The problem is that for Melissa there was no connection between them... Perhaps, at most, there was the good feeling of the adrenaline to be deceiving everyone and, breaking, kissing with a famous singer.
"Whatever..." Gabriel growled as he threw himself on the bed.
He wasn’t going to ask for trouble. He wasn’t interested in developing any platonic love. He knew how something like this could end and he didn’t want to relive the situation, especially being the person to love without being reciprocated.
As he stared at the white ceiling, he remembered once more of her inside that white coat... So different from how he was accustomed to seeing her, and yet, so beautiful.
The singer snorted in exasperation. He needed to get Melissa out of his head.
He thought of inviting Arthur to take advantage of New York night while they still had time, but he dismissed the idea immediately. He wasn’t in the mood for late nights, and his friend had dismissed him that afternoon.
It was unheard of, but Arthur had missed an a compromise. A professional commitment. It wasn’t the style of the assistant. It was so strange that Gabriel became worried when he realized that his friend had not appeared, even when the essay was already heading toward the end. He tried to call but his calls were ignored. It was only when he was about to return to the hotel that he had received a straightforward message.
"I'm busy." That was all the usual professional Arthur had said.
When he arrived at the hotel, he discovered that his friend was busy with Melissa.
He got the information from the bodyguard of the girl, who was leaving the place, apparently ready to enjoy the night.
He asked about the girl before he could stop himself just to hear that Lissa was in her room and that Arthur had been with her all afternoon.
Apparently, all the thousand reasons that the personal assistant had given to Gabriel stay away from Melissa were not valid for him.
He wanted to question his friend about what made him quit his business appointments to spend the afternoon with Melissa, but he had to admit to himself that he was a bit afraid of the possible answer.
It was ridiculous, Gabriel thought with his hands to his hair, but it seemed he was jealous of a possible rapprochement between Melissa and Arthur. As if the jealousy he felt was no longer enough of the mysterious guy Angela had mentioned in the New Year.
He would have thought of new insults for himself if his phone didn’t choose that moment to play. Checking the display, the singer even considered not answer the call.
A call from Angela... They had changed the numbers when they spoke of the New Year, but they didn’t make a phone call. He was no longer so upset about what Melissa had said during the party, but he was focused on keeping him away from the girl and approaching for her best friend wouldn’t help him at all.
On the other hand, Angela had been nothing more than very kind and friendly on the few occasions they had spoken. It would be completely unfair to ignore the call, especially when the girl was going through such a complicated time in her life.
With a sigh, the rocker accepted the call.
"Gabriel..." She spoke his name, shyly. "I'm sorry to bother you like this ..."
“It’s okay, Angela”. He interrupted her, with a small smile in his voice. “You are not bothering.”
She sighed.
"You're very kind, but I’m sure as hell you don’t want a fan calling you all the time."
Gabriel can’t help but laugh. He loved his fans, but it would be complicated if they switched on all the time. It had happened once, when his number had leaked on the internet, and it had been crazy.
"Well, it would be tricky to deal with a lot of fan calls, but you're more than my fan”.
“Am I?” Angela asked in surprise.
"Of course, you are.” He assured her. “As long as you do not disclose my number on your fan site, we can become friends”.
"I promise I'll never do that..." She compromised. "But since we're going to become friends, can I confess something?"
"Is it now that you tell me that you've imagined yourself marrying me a thousand times?"
Angela's laughter sounded loud.
"You're handsome, the consuming dream of every girl..." Gabriel could think of at least one girl who didn’t consider him so desirable. "But I never imagined together romantically.” The fan guaranteed. “It wouldn’t be fair.”
"Angela, you can’t think like that. You’re an incredible person, any guy you’re related to would be a lucky guy”.
"Of course, I am.” She agreed with some enthusiasm. “I'm fantastic. Actually, I'm sorry for all those guys who will never have me as a girlfriend..." Gabriel laughed again. She had a great
mood, very different from her friend. "But the reality is that my expiration date is ending... And I'm fine with it. It's as it has to be. I'm only worried about Lissa...”
"I think you should care less about her and think more about yourself." The singer advised. Their friendship was beautiful, but it didn’t look very healthy.
"What did she do now?" Angela questioned with a sigh.
"Nothing..." Voss answered at once. "She didn’t do anything.”
"Of course she did. You're upset with her.”
“I'm not.” He lied.
“Melissa is not the easiest person to deal with in the world, and sometimes she'll end up hurting people around, but deep down she's a good girl. She's just trying not to get into trouble.”
The rockstar didn’t know what to say. He knew that Melissa wasn’t a bad person and that the girl's rudeness was a kind of self-defense, but he couldn’t understand how giving back the way she was being treated by the singer would put her in trouble.
"What were you going to confess?" He tried to change the subject.
“That I didn’t call to hear your sexy voice, what I really wanted...”
“It was talking about Melissa.” Gabriel finished, uncertain about how he felt. He could talk about Mel for hours without getting bored, but he didn’t want to.
"That's right..." Angela sighed. "But I don’t think that's a good idea."
"I'll be honest with you, Melissa Bittencourt is not my favorite subject now”.
Angela was silent for a while.
“I'm sorry.” She said at last. "Maybe you should send her home. It's still time to find a real fan who would love to tour.”
“What?” Gabriel sat down on the bed in a daze. He would never expect to hear Angela telling him to give up on this farce. “What are you talking about? Give up now?”
"I love Lissa, we're like sisters, but I know it's hard to be with her... Especially at this time of year. And you already have a lot to worry about. This farce... It was the worst idea I could have, but it was my last attempt. I figured a time out would do her good and she'd never let go, not now... But apparently, it just made things worse.”
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