“Do you believe me? I swear I didn’t want to...”
"Of course, I believe..." He brought his face closer to hers, breathing in the scent of her black hair.
"No one ever believed..." she revealed in a whisper. “Even Ang thought, at first, that it had been a bad first time I had regretted. Less than a minute later, she had already realized that I was telling the truth... It took me three years to be able to tell her, and yet, I never told her everything as I told you now.”
"You didn’t have to tell me…" The singer smiled sadly at Lissa. He was somewhat pleased that she had confided her secret to him, but he knew it had been too painful to reveal what she wanted to forget.
"You deserved to know why I'm always going to hurt you... That's what I do, Gabe, I hurt the most I can”.
He shook his head.
"You think so bad things about yourself..." He shifted on the bed, his legs crossed again. "I wish you could see through my eyes, Ang's eyes, just once.”
"And what would I see?" She imitated him and sighed in relief when she realized that the cry had finally come to an end.
Gabriel wanted to respond that he would see someone absurdly injured, but still capable of arousing love and a sense of protection in the people around him. He meant that hurting him or not, he would not give up on her because he'd just realized Angela was right. Do not give up on those you love.
"One day you'll find out for yourself..." He winked at her. "Now, frankly, it was not such a bad birthday this year, was it?"
Lissa laughed lightly and jumped out of bed, reached the cupcakes box abandoned on the floor, and picked up a cupcake.
“Is it too late for ‘happy birthday’?” She asked shyly as she sat down on the bed again.
He smiled truly. He could see her shaking and he knew it was a challenge to make fun of the situation. Feeling his heart expand with pride from the force she carried inside her, he denied it.
"It will never be too late for you."
"Wait ..." She interrupted him when the singer threatened to start the first stanza of the birthday song. “We need to record the moment... For Angela.”
“Are you sure?” He asked, reaching for the cell phone on the bedside table.
"I'm ..." She blushed. "I'm horrible with my whole face bloated and stained, but I don’t care... And you?"
Gabriel looked intently until a shy smile appeared in Lissa's lips and she lowered her face partially covered facing the cupcake she was still holding. The long hair covered much of her features, but the smile was on display as he eternalized the moment with a photo.
The flash made Melissa look at him and laugh.
“It became bad?” She asked, pointing to the cell phone.
"It was beautiful..." He replied without looking at the picture. “Because you are beautiful.”
Feeling shyness, Melissa ignored the praise and bit her cupcake and offered to the singer. He accepted, but before he bent and used the tip of his tongue to wipe some frosting from her lips.
“Happy birthday, Mel!” He spoke again when they had finished eating, and she began to tear the wrapping of the present with the anxiety of a child. "It's already past midnight, but let's pretend the day is not over yet."
He watched as her eyes flashed as she found several little bottles of professional ink.
"We can get a screen when we get back to the States."
Throwing herself over him, Melissa thanked the gift enthusiastically. Drawing and painting was all she could do in good in life, which still kept her healthy.
"Maybe I even paint something for you..." She examined each pot with exaggerated attention and then put them back in the box as if it were precious things to be protected. “If you deliver what you promised sooner after the show and sing to me”
"Wow..." He pretended to think and pulled her back to him. “I think someone is becoming a real fan...”
“Don’t let your rockstar ego ruin the moment, Gabriel Voss.”
He laughed and closed his eyes. He should sing All of me, how he knew what she wanted, but the music that left his lips was different, and yet, so meaningful. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but it seemed to have been written to describe some of the pain that Melissa carried in herself.
“That's not...” She interrupted before the first verse of Broken Angel finished.
He continued, ignoring the fact that for half the song, she had started crying again.
Moving his face so he could look at her, Gabriel sang softly as he stroked her hair.
"And now you've grown up
With this notion that you were blame
And you seem so strong sometimes.
But I know you still feel the same
As that little girl who shined like an angel
Even after his lazy heart put you through hell... "[33]
Melissa brought her face close to Gabriel's, almost preventing him from continuing, and let her tears fall on his skin while skirting the male lips with her fingertips.
"You're just a broken angel..."[34]
Calming him before the refrain could be repeated, she kissed him timidly at first, impetuously then.
"So, I'm a broken angel?" She asked, gasping as he put an end to the kiss. "And you're the one who's going to fix me?"
"My broken angel.” He confirmed part of her assumption. "But you're strong enough to fix yourself, if it's necessary... I'll just watch closely when your wings are ready to fly again."
Melissa didn’t believe Gabriel could be right, but that night, when he fell asleep and she got hold of the singer's cell phone and watched the photo he had taken, she blew an imaginary candle and wished he was right.
Determined to, at least, try to be who Gabriel believed she was, she opened the singer's profile on Instagram and uploaded the picture. In the legend, she put what he had made her realize:
"Well... It was not a bad birthday.
Thank you, Gabe, for the partially patched wings.
Let's fly!"
She smiled as she left the app, wondering what his reaction would be when he found out ... She would know in the morning when she woke in his arms. It would be a after-birthday morning a thousand times better than that five years ago.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - NOT A BAD THING
“So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me[35]”
G abriel Voss awoke as the day began to dawn, grunting at the sunshine beating on his face and the cold wind that came in through the open window and made his body tremble.
He had fallen asleep first in the middle of the night, and he didn’t have to strain himself to deduce that Melissa had taken the opportunity to spend time on the eaves of the window, looking at the horizon and feeling the wind ruffle her hair.
It was wonderful to sleep beside Mel, but he hated the girl's terrible craze for forgetting the open window.
He sneered a little louder this time as he stumbled over the girl's sketchbook. Apparently, she had done more than just open the window and look at the horizon, before she finally gave in to sleep.
In a rising morning mood, the singer picked up the sketchbook from the floor and glanced at the bed he had just left.
She was forgetful, annoying, messy, troublesome... But she was also beautiful and lovely. He realized, standing in the middle of the room, watching her sleep, face down, on the big bed and with her dark hair scattered across the sheet.
Even with the nightly raid on her own room to get her sketchbook and graphite, she hadn’t changed the black dress she wore when she stormed into his room to tell about the old birthdays. Which had been a bad idea, since the dress had jammed around her waist during the hours of sleep, leaving her legs slender from the outside.
To the relief of the rocker, much of the white skin was covered with pantyhose. And to his surprise, the little that was on display was enough to stir him. He wouldn’t believe it if someone had told him that she was a girl who would like to wear 7/8 stockings, but the thighs discovered jus
t above the end of the thick sock left no room for doubt.
Running his hand through his tousled hair, Voss realized that sleep had gone, and left in place an embarrassing excitement he could not eliminate.
At least she wasn’t wearing a garter belt and her panties were behaved enough to not leave anything too inappropriate in sight.
Ignoring the beating heart and the erection he had been unable to avoid, he returned to the bed. He thought about lowering her dress, but he didn’t think it was right to touch her, if only to cover her, when she was unconscious, especially after confirming his suspicions that she was a victim of sexual abuse.
Think about everything she'd told him during the night stole much of his horny. He would never touch her without permission, not even to get her out of an embarrassing situation.
Looking away from her thighs, Gabriel delicately threw the heavy comforter that had covered him a few minutes ago over Lissa's body and laughed softly as she fidgeted, complaining.
She liked the cold, so he decided to leave the window open, but pulled the curtains to dim some of the exaggerated lighting of the room.
Too awakened to go back to sleep, he chose to leaf through the sketchbook he had in his hand, taking advantage of the rare opportunity to enjoy the drawings without the designer blocking them.
She was really good. Talented and perfectionist. Even more applied than himself when making music.
Some drawings were so realistic that they looked like black and white photographs. While watching a reproduction of the Eiffel Tower, he wished to know what she would be able to create with colored pencils or with the paints she had given her as a gift.
She had many drawings of Angela, most of them actually, but a few pages had been filled with sights she'd seen from afar in the last few days and even a drawing of him on stage, with fans in the background, one of his shows eternalized by the traces and the artistic look of her.
That draw was beautiful and quickly became one of his favorites. It was filled with little details, like flashes exploding from the mobiles raised toward him and passionate stares locked in on itself. Looking closely, he could make out a fan, crying with her eyes closed. He had seen this same scene so many times during the shows that it was no longer a shocking surprise, but seeing it in Mel's drawing shocked him as it had in the first few times. His music still touched people as much as her drawings can touch him.
He wanted to have the drawing for himself and to share it with the world. The first wish would probably never happen, Melissa wouldn’t give him the drawing, after all, she was annoyed to see him flipping through the sketchbook, but the second he could make it come true, even if he had to face her wrath later.
With a mischievous smile on his face, he searched for his cell phone and photographed the drawing countless times until he found the best angle, where every detail was displayed. He would share it with his fans, just so they would know that Melissa was as talented or more than the singer who was supposed to be her idol, but first rather would take advantage of the rare opportunity to enjoy the designs she made. He was anxious to find out what her mind had created after the night of outburst they had shared.
He reached the last pages, slightly apprehensive, afraid that she had portrayed some of her bad memories.
Surprisingly, what he found first was a picture of himself, on the stage, with the guitar in his hands, his eyes closed as he sang. Immediately recognized the moment, when he had decided to change the already anticipated performance of Everything by an impulsive cover of All of me. He had sung for her, as an unannounced birthday present.
Looking away from the drawing, Gabriel searched for her on the bed. She was still asleep, completely unaware of the fact that he was falling in love with her a little more at that moment. Between everything that she could draw, she had reproduced that moment... He might be deluding himself, but he wanted to believe that the memory of his voice declaring his love in song was stronger than the pain of the abuses she suffered. Maybe it wasn’t enough to erase everything else, but tonight had been stronger than the fear and anguish he had seen in her green eyes when she told him about her life.
With his eyes watering, he found the last sketch produced. He was in that too, but with her. The two of them on the same bed that she slept with her on his legs, head down, fingernails clutching at the sweater Gabriel had chosen to wear, while his hands tightened around her thin waist. As usual, she hadn’t forgotten any detail: The guitar was beside them in bed, the cupcakes box on the floor and his face appeared marked by a mixture of anger and compassion as he watched her. And yet she had added a fanciful and yet so real touch: from her back were born winged wings, bruised and bloody, feathers falling on the mattress. In the lower corner, she had written a quote from the lyrics of the song he had chosen to sing before bed. A simple, intimate and meaningful work of art. It would look perfect as a CD cover. But it would be even more perfect, engraved forever in his heart.
He pushed the sketchbook away as he felt a tear trickle down his face before he finished wetting the drawing.
Moved by an impulse, he left the chair where he was and returned to the bed, enveloping Melissa's body in a tight embrace that made the girl moan his name in protest.
Before he woke her up, Gabriel released her and laid a long kiss on the woman's brow.
He would have continued to kiss her affectionately if his cell phone had not beeped three times in a row, indicating the receipt of new text messages.
Clicking on the blinking icon, the singer found a message from his best friend, his mother and Angela. Apparently everyone was already awake and wanted to talk to him urgently. He would ignore all three for a while longer. Before he discover what they wanted, he would share some of Mel's talent with the world, take a shower, and provide a good breakfast in bed for his broken angel. She deserved it.
Walking into the bathroom, he started the Instagram app, ignored the thousands of notifications that always appeared and clicked on the design of a camera to access the photo gallery and uploaded the picture he had made of Melissa drawing, wrote a caption extolling the talent of the girl and shared the image.
He was already inside the bathroom, with one hand pulling on his sweatpants when he checked his profile, as he always did after a fresh update. He stopped what he was doing when his eyes met the thumbnail of the photo that was taken from Melissa the night before, with a cupcake in hand. He clicked on the image to make it bigger and felt his heart jump in his chest as he read the caption.
She had posted the image and thanked him for supposedly having mended her wings… If the wings had been restored, even if partially, it wasn’t merit of him but of the strength she had within herself and seemed to ignore. But it was still good that she gave him some credit. No one, besides the two of them, could imagine that the fact that image was online now and accompanied by that caption meant so much.
If anyone else had dared to post anything on his account without his permission, the singer would have been completely annoyed, but Melissa's impulsive act had only filled him with pride and admiration. It was her way of trying to get over what the day of her birthday meant, and the fact that she had shared it with him and, in a way, revealed that to the world was unbelievable, shocking, and expressive.
He knew, looking at that post, that he had to mean something to her as she meant to him. Maybe it was reckless and rash, but if he had no doubt that he was in love with her, now he did not doubt that she felt the same way.
He smiled like an idiot. She always surprised him. Not always positively, but it always surprised him. He never thought he'd see that online photo and couldn’t even imagine the impact it would have caused. The focus was the cupcake in the small hands of Mel, but it was still possible to partially see her face, with risks of tears, swollen and red, as well as the background of the room and a piece of the bed where they were sitting when the picture was taken. His fans and the press couldn’t claim that they were together at the time of the photo, but
Arthur and Angela would know that yes, as his mother, for knowing him so well and already be suspicious that there was something happen between them. The three of them were supposed to be at different levels of madness, which explained the messages he'd ignored. He was in trouble, but he still smiled as he read some of the comments.
Some conjectured what the caption meant, others had realized that Mel had cried before the photo was made, few wished a happy birthday, and most wanted to know why she had posted Gabriel's profile instead of hers and hinted at what it meant.
They were, definitely, in trouble. More than Gabriel considered acceptable. He noticed when he came across a comment from his younger sister.
To his dismay, Karen's remark fit the offensive and expendable.
"You know what happens
when you give too much intimacy to those who shouldn’t..."
It was just a phrase, but it had stolen the singer's smile.
For the first time, he was really annoyed at his younger sister. She didn’t have to dig up something private and painful and expose it to everyone. Even more, she did not have the right to compare what he was living with Melissa with what happened in his past.
Without really thinking about what he was doing, he answered her.
"I know, they use their past in utterly inappropriate remarks,
like you just did, little sister."
Holy shit! His mother would have killed him, but he'd defended Karen all his life, even when his sister was wrong, but not this time. He didn’t want a fight with her family, but he couldn’t let Melissa be publicly abused and offended.
One thing was the fanciful comments from his fans that now would only increase. He was grateful to all of them, but what they thought to know didn’t bother him or dictate his life... But his closest sister said in public, stand against Melissa would only add fuel to the fire. He should have positioned himself since Christmas and made her realize that she wouldn’t always be placed above everyone else.
Annoyed, the singer hung up the phone and finally went into the shower.
He knew Arthur would knock on his door soon, probably with a call from his mother demanding to be answered. He would relax and enjoy what he had shared with Mel while he still had time.
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