Twilight of the Star Vampires (Set of Books 1-3):A Parody of the Twilight Saga, Star Wars and Star Trek

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Twilight of the Star Vampires (Set of Books 1-3):A Parody of the Twilight Saga, Star Wars and Star Trek Page 21

by Paula Sunsong


  The technician attached anti-gravity lifts to the slab holding Chewy and Brun.

  “The hibernation slab can now float to your ship,” said the technician to Van Helsing.

  “Guards, escort Van Helsing and the wolf popsicle to his ship,” said Dark Cater. “Take Princess Lela to my ship.”

  “And Stywalker?” said a guard.

  “I will greet young Stywalker,” said Dark Cater pulling out his laser sword. “Make sure he makes his way to this room.”

  Van Helsing bowed to Lela. “Good lady, I bid you adieu,” He took off his hat with a flourish. “I hope we meet again under better circumstances.”

  “Don’t bet on it, Van Helsing,” said Lela. “The next time I meet you, you’ll pay for what you’ve done to Chewy and Brun.”

  Van Helsing smirked, then hopped on top of the floating slab containing Brun and Chewy. He lay down like some decadent prince on a bed. “Onward, guards,” said Van Helsing waving his hand. A guard pushed the floating slab with Van Helsing out the door.

  The guards escorted Lela and the robot Seetoo towards Cater’s ship.

  Luck wandered the halls of Sky City. He stared at the high white walls, maze of hallways and identical looking doors. He peeked around the corner. Down the hall, a guard escorted a floating slab with a man who looked like a Shakespearean actor from Renaissance Fair.

  Luck blinked his eyes and looked again.

  As he was riding on the slab, Van Helsing started singing a historic ballad. “Alas, my love, you do me wrong to cast me off discourteously…”

  Must be techno Renaissance Faire, thought Luck. He was tempted to follow and buy a techno turkey leg at the faire, but decided not to anger Obegone. Luck would look for Lela and Brun.

  A contingent of guards with Lela and Seetoo came up behind Luck. He was looking in the opposite direction.

  “Boo!” said a guard.

  Luck jumped and ran towards the room with Dark Cater and the freeze-o-matic.

  “Luck, don’t go in there, it’s a trap!” shouted Lela. Luck ignored her and continued running. “Oh, the heck with him,” said Lela as a guard pushed her to keep moving.

  The door slid shut behind Luck. He stood in a darkened room with the only light from the slatted floors and red lights glowing below.

  Dark Cater stood at the top of a set of metallic stairs.

  “The farce is with you, young Stywalker but you are not a Jetti yet,” said Dark Cater.

  “Yay, I have the farce in me,” said Luck. Luck wandered around the room, and stared at the cryogenic freezer pit. “What does this do?”

  Dark Cater laughed evilly. “Take a closer look and find out.”

  “There’s Lela,” whispered Spocko. His keen Vampire Vullcan eyesight picked out the figures long before human eyes could see them. “She’s surrounded by six guards and one fastidious robot.”

  “That’s Seetoo,” said Obegone. “Only six guards? We should be able to take them.”

  They crept closer to the guards. The plastic helmets impaired the guards’ vision, so it was really quite easy.

  “En garde!” yelled Obegone jumping in front of the guards, his laser sword drawn. He took out a guard with one swipe. Another guard pointed his laser gun at Obegone, but Spocko grabbed him and knocked him against the wall. Lela tripped a guard. Seetoo just stood there.

  “Stop or I’ll shoot,” said a guard pointing a gun at Seetoo. Lela and Spocko looked at each other, then kept fighting. The guard pointed his gun at Spocko and pulled the trigger.

  “Arrgghh,” cried Spocko as a laser bolt cut through his chest. Lela picked up a fallen guard’s gun and shot the guard who shot Spocko. Obegone dispatched the last guard.

  Lela kneeled next to Spocko. Green blood was pouring from his chest. “Oh, Spocko, no!” She ripped the sleeve of her shirt and pressed it to the wound.

  “We need to get him to the ship,” said Obegone. Lela wrapped her arm around Spocko. Obegone put his arm around the other side of Spocko. They lifted Spocko to his feet.

  “Your destiny lies with me, Stywalker. Obegone knew this.” Cater shoved Luck into the cryogenic pit. “Hmmm, all too easy.”

  “Hey! Can you do that? That’s cheating,” said Luck from the bottom of the pit. He reached his hand up. “Help me out of here.”

  “I guess you’re right.” Dark Cater offered his hand. He pulled Luck out. “Now go stand in front of that pressurized window, so I can throw things at you.”

  “Seems fair,” shrugged Luck. He went and stood in front of a circular window overlooking the hollow inside of Sky City.

  Cater wiggled his fingers to use the farce to rip equipment off the wall to throw at Luck. The metal vibrated but the bolts holding it to the wall held firm.

  “Hurry up, I’m getting bored standing here,” said Luck.

  “Let me try again,” said Cater wiggling his fingers faster.

  “Let me help,” said Luck also wiggling his fingers. The equipment vibrated faster and one of the bolts popped.

  “Ah, when we work together, see what we can achieve,” said Cater.

  “It’s still not coming off the wall,” said Luck.

  “Oh, the hell with it!” Cater walked up to the wall and ripped the equipment off. He threw it at Luck, who dodged. The metal hit the window, smashing it to pieces. The air in the room rushed out into the hollow core of Sky City. Luck scrabbled at the floor with his hands, but could not get a handhold. He flew out the window.

  The air stopped rushing out. Cater looked out the broken window. Luck had landed on a walkway below. Dark Cater jumped through the broken window, trying to land lightly next to Luck. His black rubber boots softened the landing, but he had to put his hand out to keep from falling onto his face.

  Cater pulled off his black glove.

  “Damn, I broke a nail!” Cater waved his fingers covered in fake plastic claw like fingernails.

  “Those are cool! Where can I get them?” said Luck.

  “Evil Empire Ordering, they’re online.” Dark Cater stood up and cleared his throat. “It is useless to resist the power of the dark side. Don’t let yourself be destroyed, as Obegone did.”

  “Obegone’s okay. He’s not destroyed, except maybe about his horse losing at the racetrack.”

  “No, Obegone is not okay. I killed him,” said Cater.

  “No you didn’t.”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “Didn’t!”

  Cater fired up his laser sword. “I said I did succeed in defeating Obegone. Now I am the master!” Cater advanced on Luck.

  Dark Cater clashed laser swords with Luck. Luck backed away, onto a narrow access plank to a transmitter.

  “There’s no escape. Don’t make me destroy you. You have only begun to develop your power. Join me. I will train you to become more powerful than Yodama or Obegone could ever teach you to be. We will overthrow the rebels and the empire. We can rule together.”

  “Okay,” said Luck.

  “Luck, you don’t realized the power of the dark side,” said Dark Cater raising a fist with a broken nail. “Obegone never told you what happened to your father.”

  “I said ‘okay’.”

  “Luck, I am your father.”

  “Noooooo!”

  “Where is Brun?” said Obegone. “We can’t leave her.” Lela and Obegone had laid Spocko down on a bed in the medical tech device.

  “Van Helsing took Brun and Chewy to his ship,” said Lela. She didn’t have time to explain to Obegone about the hibernation slab encasing Brun. Lela had to give all her attention to Spocko. She was using the simple electronic medical tech device on Obegone’s ship to try to heal Spocko.

  “I’ll use the ship’s sensors to sweep for Van Helsing’s ship,” said Obegone running towards the cockpit.

  Lela tried everything the simple med tech device could do, but Spocko needed more advance care.

  “I’m dying, Lela,” said Spocko.

  “No, you can’t,” said Lela her eyes filling with te
ars. She can’t lose two men in one day. “You’re a vampire. You’re immortal.”

  “Even a vampire can die from a stake, or a laser bolt, to the heart,” said Spocko. “I lied to you, Lela, lovely Lela. I didn’t come to force you to join the Vulcanturi. I love you, that’s why I came to be with you.”

  “You…love me,” said Lela her head spinning. She shook her head to clear it. “You can’t die. You won’t! The computer says you need blood, but the synthetic blood we have is for humans, not Vullcan Vampires.” Lela paused, looking into Spocko’s dark eyes. “I’m half vampire, my blood may save you.”

  “I’m not worth it,” said Spocko. “I have indulged my ego and desire for power by following the Vulcanturi.”

  “You are worth saving! There’s no time for a transfusion,” said Lela. Grabbing a med tech laser scalpel, she cut her wrist. She put her wrist in Spocko’s mouth. “Drink, like a vampire should.” Spocko hesitated for a moment, but his drive to feed and survive took over. He drank deeply of Lela’s sweet blood.

  Lela gasped as she felt herself filling Spocko, like breath fills lungs and sustains life.

  “We are one,” she heard Spocko say telepathically in her head.

  “Search your feelings Luck,” said Dark Cater. “You know it to be true. I am your father.”

  “Sure thing, whatever you say, Cater,” said Luck.

  “Oh, okay. You believe me?”

  “Sure.”

  “You will follow me?”

  “Sure.”

  An Imperial lieutenant ran up. “Lord Cater, Princess Lela has escaped! She was heading for the landing bay.”

  “We will stop her,” said Cater striding down the walkway.

  Luck followed Cater to the landing bay. “What happened to my friends? Are they okay?”

  “We froze the werewolf and pilot, and sold them to Jabya the Hot,” said Cater with a dismissing wave of his hand.

  “Bummer,” said Luck. What a jerk Cater is! Luck thought.

  They arrived at the landing bay.

  “Open fire!” said Cater pointing at Lela’s ship. The Imperial guards opened fire on the ship Lela arrived on, Brun’s Amazon Falcon. But Lela was now on Obegone’s ship. Luck looked around the landing bay, and spotted the ship he and Obegone had arrived on. Luck looked at Cater and the Imperial guards. Their backs were to him.

  Luck snuck away, ran to Obegone’s ship, punched in the door access code and slipped inside.

  Obegone scanned rapidly around Sky City for Van Helsing’s ship. “It’s taking off--we’ll have to follow it,” Obegone said into the intercom. “Lela, prepare you and Spocko for takeoff and rapid maneuvers.”

  Chapter 40 The Domain of Jabya the Hot

  Obegone drove the starship like a maniac, but he lost Van Helsing’s ship. After drinking Lela’s blood, Spocko’s medical condition stabilized. Lela went to the cockpit to check on the progress tracking Van Helsing’s ship.

  “Van Helsing’s ship has gone into hyperdrive. We can’t catch it now,” said Obegone.

  “Van Helsing is taking Brun and Chewy to Jabya's the Hot's domain. We will have to rescue Brun and Chewy there,” said Lela.

  “It’s our only choice now. I’m plotting a course there,” said Obegone. “Time to visit an old flame.”

  Lela quirked an eyebrow and waited for Obegone to explain, but he stayed silent. Luck, eating French fries, entered the cockpit.

  "Luck! You escaped Dark Cater," said Lela.

  "We had a big battle. I agreed to join him, then I ran away when he wasn't looking," said Luck. "After my exhausting fight, I needed to fortify myself in the spaceship kitchen." Luck took a big gulp of soda. "Hey is Dark Cater my father?"

  "No, he isn't your father," said Obegone. "He's the man I told you about who thinks he is your father. Your mother is Queen Paddymay Alldolla."

  "I'm a prince!" said Luck throwing his arms wide and spilling soda on the co-pilot's seat.

  "Although it pains me to say so, yes, you are a prince,' said Obegone, "and Princess Lela is your sister."

  Which pains me, thought Princess Lela.

  "Your mother fell in love with a vampire named Edward Cullet. He's your father. He's on the run from the Vulcanturi. Queen Paddy had been searching for him."

  And Spocko kidnapped father, thought Princess Lela, yet I saved Spocko. He did say he was sorry, and followed the Vulcanturi out of misplaced pride. "I need to check on Spocko," Lela said rising from her chair.

  "Give me a hug, sis!" said Luck.

  Lela smiled and hugged Luck. "I'm glad you didn't go over to the dark side, Luck."

  "What and miss out on all this rebel fun?" Luck switched the co-pilots navigation computer to a video game app and began playing Jetti Academy.

  They arrived at Tattooing a day later. Obegone prepared himself to go to Jabya’s domain.

  “I’ll bet Jabya kidnapped Chewy because he owed her money!” said Luck.

  “No, Luck, Jabya wants to lure me to Tattooing,” said Obegone, his head drooping.

  “Why you, Master Obegone?”

  “Well, Luck, you see, Jabya, and I, well, we used to be…sweethearts,” said Obegone.

  “You and Jabya?” said Luck astonished. “That vile creature?”

  “You think it’s so unlikely?” said Obegone. “You see her now, after her hookah and frog addictions, but when she was younger, ah! To see her sensuously slithering down the street! She was irresistible. She had all the rich and handsome men after her.”

  “Love is strange,” said Luck.

  “Yes, Luck. I’m going in to save Brun and Chewy. You stay here with the ship.”

  “But Lela and Spocko are already watching the ship. I want to come with you.”

  “Spocko is badly injured, and Lela is tending him. You will have to watch the ship.” The last thing Obegone wanted to deal with was Luck while dealing with Jabya.

  “If I have to,” grumbled Luck.

  “You have to.”

  Before going to Jabya the Hot’s domain, Obegone stopped at a florist and candy shop. Then he walked the long dusty road to Jabya’s palace fortress.

  “Tell Jabya, it’s Obegone,” he said to the beady eyed creature who answered the reinforced metal door. The servant slammed the door shut, contacted Jabya, and then quickly re-opened the door to Obegone. “Hurry,” the servant said. “She’s in the main chamber and eager to meet you.”

  The main chamber was a large, cave like structure. There was one large, rounded room with a domed roof. Alcoves, like flower petals, branching off the main room. Jabya’s entourage filled the space, drinking and gambling while a man on one side performed simple magic tricks.

  A long blue carpet stretched away from a dais. Obegone, carrying an alien bouquet and a box of candied frogs, followed the blue carpet until he stood in front of the magnificent creature lying on a couch, Jabya the Hot.

  The room got suddenly quiet.

  “Greetings, beautiful Jabya,” said Obegone, holding out the alien flowers and candy. An assistant collected the presents.

  “Obegone.” Jabya looked down, and rattled her tail.

  “You got a tail ring,” said Obegone looking at the rattling jeweled bracelets on Jabya’s tail. “It suits you. The gems gleam like your scales.”

  “Flattery, Obegone? That might have worked a long time ago, if you had called me as you said you would.”

  Obegone nodded. “It was too dangerous. The evil Empire was looking for me. I didn’t want them going after you too.”

  Jabya cool demeanor softened slightly. “I can defend myself. You could have come to me for protection.” Jabya smelled the bouquet of alien flowers. They were striped orange and black. Suddenly they turned into Monarch butterflies, fluttering happily about the dank room. “Butterfly shape shifting flowers, you remembered I like them.”

  Obegone smiled. “Of course. I remember everything about our time together.”

  Jabya opened the box of candied frogs. She pulled one out and popped it into h
er mouth. “Yum, this one’s filled with caramel.” Jabya moved over and patted the space on the couch next to her. “Come sit down.”

  Obegone climbed the stairs of the dais to sit next to Jabya.

  “Frog?” said Jabya offering the box of candied frogs to Obegone.

  “No thank you, I’m cutting back on sweets.”

  “Why have you come, Obegone?” said Jabya. “Does this have something to do with it?” She gestured. A servant pulled back a velvet curtain. Obegone’s jaw dropped. His love, Brun Solow, was frozen, along with Chewy, in a slab displayed against the far wall. Their expressions of shock from the cold were artfully lit. “Come now, Obegone, nothing to say? What do you think of my new decoration?”

  “Um, nice track lighting.”

  Jabya threw back her head and laughed. She put her arm around Obegone’s arm. “That’s why I always liked you, you made me laugh.” Jabya looked towards the stage where the magician had stopped performing, his hand midway in pulling a rabbit out of a hat. “Get the band onstage. I want to dance.”

  She and Obegone danced the night away. Jabya slithered from side to side, while Obegone danced like a disco maniac. When the wee hours of the morning came, Jabya retired for her beauty sleep. Her entourage collapsed on couches or floors, sleeping off excesses to regain their strength for tomorrow’s indulgences. Obegone found a convenient corner to pretend to sleep in, then he counted to a thousand, to make sure everyone was really asleep.

  Obegone tiptoed over to the slab. He looked into Brun’s metal eyes. I’ll get you out of this, he thought and gave the metal lips a quick peck. On the side was a medical readout. Brun and Chewy still had vital signs, although they consisted of a very slow heartbeat and brain activity. They were still in hibernation. Following the instructions given to him by the ship’s computer, Obegone started the defrost sequence.

  A red light began pulsating over the slab, then small cracks appeared, showing the warmth of human skin beneath. The cracks widened as the slab dissolved, and Brun’s beautiful face appeared. Freed from the slab, she suddenly pitched forward, and Obegone caught her. Chewy crumpled to the ground beside them.

 

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