Chagrined by the statement, Mariah did her best to sound appalled. “The man has scarcely set eyes on me. He knows nothing about me.”
Colin tipped his head. “It doesn’t really matter.” He stretched his long legs out before him and relaxed against the chair. “My decision wouldn’t be any different if you were the queen of kindness itself. But if you will leave my home without any further protest, I’ll give you a choice. If you don’t wish to go live with your sister, I’ll pay your passage back to England and give you a goodly sum to jingle in your purse, besides.”
Mariah’s hackles rose with each word. She could not believe he thought so little of her. Nevertheless, she composed herself and spoke evenly. “I understand that, at the moment, you believe your world has come to an end. But as time goes by, you’ll come to realize life hasn’t really changed so very much. And when that time comes, and you regain your senses, I plan to be here.”
“My senses?” He scoffed. “All of them? Except, of course, for that particularly crucial one…my sight.”
Mariah regretted her bad choice of words. She sought another tack. Oh yes, Rose. Say what Rose would say. “I can see I’ve upset you again. For that I am truly sorry.” At a loss to say more, she backed toward the door, until her fingers grasped the handle. “I really must return to the girls. Perhaps we can talk again later.”
“Wait!”
But Mariah whirled out the door and closed it behind her, ignoring his voice. She hurried away as fast as she could.
That had not gone well at all. She had to stop trying to manipulate the situation. If only she’d remembered her decision to act like her older sister before allowing herself to become so vexed. After all, when had anyone ever railed so vehemently at Rose—except for the night she informed the family she’d sold most of their prized possessions out from under them.
Slowing as she neared the schoolroom door, Mariah paused. The single reason the family had yelled at Rose was because, for once, she’d uncharacteristically taken matters into her own hands. She’d done the sort of rash thing Mariah might have done under those circumstances.
A grimace flattened Mariah’s lips. Possibly she wouldn’t have been quite as self-sacrificing as Rose had been, even selling herself. But for now, this situation required self-sacrifice. Colin needed that.
From now on, she’d stop trying to be clever, as Colin had so rudely put it. She would step inside Rose’s very skin, martyr herself for the cause of Colin’s ultimate happiness.
And hers.
Hearing the door to his chamber close and Mariah’s footsteps receding down the hall, Colin closed his eyes in disgust. Some homecoming. He’d been positive that Mariah would gladly accept her release. Apparently, he’d underestimated her greed.
This added torment was more than anyone should have to endure. After weeks of travel in a bumpy wagon, listening hour after hour to the groans of other wounded men, he couldn’t wait to leave the terrible defeat behind and return to familiar surroundings.
The defeat. The surrender. His only saving grace was that he’d been unconscious when Washington signed the surrender document and hadn’t had to witness that humiliation. From the reports he’d heard, a heavy rain had started after he’d been shot and never ceased through the night. Because of their too hasty efforts to construct the fort, the gunpowder had little protection from the elements, and only a few able soldiers remained after the first barrage to fend off the surrounding horde of French and Indians. The situation had been hopeless from the start.
Nate said it was only by the grace of God that the French commander had even offered the militia the opportunity to surrender, and only then because one of his Indian scouts had reported hearing marching drums coming from the east.
Even now, Colin couldn’t hold back a sarcastic chuckle. As if any of the other colonies would have come to their assistance. Knowing that their fellow English colonies refused to lift a finger to prevent the French from taking over their territories was indeed bitter medicine to swallow.
With a ragged sigh, he rose from the chair. Hands outstretched, he made his way to the bedstead, then edged around it to the night table for a drink of water. Soon, he vowed, he’d have this room memorized, then the rest of the house, and even down to the stables. He was determined not to stumble around much longer.
Finding the glass, Colin lifted it and took several swallows, enjoying the sensation of the cool liquid coursing down his throat. Somehow, with God’s help, he’d survive being blind. His thirst sated, he set down the glass and sank onto the bed he could feel behind his legs. Yes, somehow he’d eke out a life for himself—just not the one he’d expected.
At that deflating thought, he lay back on the pillows and tried to blot from his mind the well-laid plans he’d always had for himself.
Sleep. He needed more sleep.
But as he lay there in the unending darkness, his anger refused to let go. Anger at the French, the heedless colonial governors, and a fate that would change a man’s life forever. But mostly he was angry at that arrogant, selfish Englishwoman, Mariah Harwood.
Why had he never noticed her true nature before? In reality, the two of them had spent very little actual time together. Mostly he’d just thought about her, created in his mind the woman he believed her to be…and for no other reason than her beauty. She was the most beautiful, most alluring woman he’d ever seen in his life. The siren who lured sailors to their deaths on a jagged reef. The Delilah to his Samson. She was a liar.
Only after he told her to leave did she say she loved him. Not when it would have meant something, like the last time he’d feasted his eyes on her and held her in his arms and asked her to marry him. He might have believed her then.
But not now.
From what Nate Kinyon had told him, Mariah had not come to America with Rose out of a desire to help her sister or the rest of her family. She had come with all her superior ways with but one goal in mind—to catch a rich husband. And the mere fact that her catch ended up blind would not stand in the way of a fortune hunter like her. He frowned. Mother had seen through her from the very start. Oh, how he wished he’d listened to her.
A niggling thought crept in, and his gaze gravitated naturally toward the faint light streaming from the balcony’s open door. If Mother had seen through Mariah to her devious, selfish nature, why had she so readily agreed with Father this morning to allow the pretender to stay?
Chapter 31
As time ticked slowly by, Colin found it difficult to get any much-needed rest. In his mind he could still hear the rush of heavy rains and recall slogging through the mud with the militia. The clatter of chopping trees for the fort echoed in his head, along with the roar of artillery and the sharp report of musket fire. And he could hear cries of the wounded, mournful and heartrending. The sounds never seemed to end. Perhaps in time, with any luck at all, they would.
But the darkness would be his lot forever. He might as well get used to it.
When he heard the girls leave their classrooom and go downstairs for the noon meal, he rose from his bed and began counting off steps to various spots in his room. Six steps to the balcony door, four steps from there to the wing chair, two more to the bed, five to the door to the hallway. With each successful journey around the chamber, his confidence lifted, and so did his mood. He wasn’t even perturbed when he heard rapid running in the hall. It was to be expected in a house filled with lively sisters.
His door flew open.
“Colin!”
Glad to hear Amy’s voice, he smiled. “Come sit down, little sis. Tell me all that’s been happening. Is the horse from England faring well?”
“Oh, yes,” she gushed. She hugged him, then flopped onto a matching chair, the scent of outdoors clinging to her like a shawl. “By the time Poppy even noticed him, Russet Knight was racing up the lane so fast Poppy didn’t care what color he was.” She paused for breath. “I couldn’t wait any longer. I came to find out where Storm is, since he didn�
��t come home with you. If he’s someplace close, like Alexandria, I wanna go get him back.”
Colin kneaded his chin. “I’d forgotten all about Storm. Thank you, squirt, for reminding me. Poor fellow, he’s had a hard time of it. I’m sure he must be stabled somewhere near where the militia disbanded. Tell Pa to send someone after him.”
“I will. And I’ll tell Poppy you want me to go, too. Storm will be so glad to see me an’ Patches. He’s prob’ly real lonesome. I hope somebody took good care of him.”
Colin chuckled as he heard her fling herself off the chair and dash away. He could just imagine the glee on her expressive face as she ran. The kid would turn herself into a horse if she could.
Settling back with a smile, he wondered if Amy would ever outgrow her fixation for horses. Being so much younger than her two sisters and never having been allowed to mix with the slave children, she’d had no one to play with except the horses…and him. Bless her heart, she was the only family member who didn’t pussyfoot around him since he’d come home.
He stood and counted his way to the door. Time to start learning how many paces there were to the stairs.
On his third trip to the staircase and back, he heard someone coming up the servants’ staircase. Probably Benjamin bringing his tray of food. He’d wait just inside his room and hold the door open for the slave.
But the footsteps didn’t sound heavy like the butler’s. They sounded light. Feminine. Had Mariah volunteered to bring his meal, hoping to get another chance at him? His lips flattened into a grim line.
“Why, thank you, dear,” his mother said as she passed him. “I was wondering how I’d manage that. Where should I put your dinner?”
He sighed with relief and closed the door then turned toward her voice. “The table between the chairs will be fine.”
“Let me help you to the chair.”
“It’s not necessary, Mother. I know where it is.” He moved cautiously toward it and sat down.
“Oh. How wonderful. Your sight is improving after all. I’ve been—”
He shook his head. “No, it hasn’t. But if you’d please have a seat for a moment, I have something to say.”
“So do I, dear.” Her skirts swished softly as she seated herself. “That’s why I brought your meal myself. I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“A few minutes ago, one of the Tucker family servants came with a message saying they’d like to drop by after supper. Of course, I sent a return invitation that they join us for our meal. From the way Dennis was hugging Victoria yesterday, I fear he intends to offer for her, and you know how I feel about that. I absolutely refuse to give up one acre of our land, and your father knows that all too well. I figure with the Tuckers at our supper table, we’ll have the advantage. Particularly if you are present.”
Having remained quiet out of respect as she prattled on, the anger building inside him boiled over. “With the poor blind son present, you mean.”
She gasped. “Not at all. I meant no such thing. I just felt that having another adult on our side would help the cause.”
“Let me get this straight. You still consider Tori as property to be bargained over—unlike me. Now that I’m damaged, you’ll gladly pass me off to a lowly bond servant.” He sniffed in disdain.
His mother took a sharp intake of breath. “Why, what an outrageous thing to say.”
“I agree.” But he didn’t soften his tone.
“Concerning Victoria, she’s a young, impressionable girl who will fall in and out of love probably a dozen times between now and next year. And yes, I’d prefer she marry advantageously. It’s what I’ve always desired for all our children.”
“Yet you don’t think it an advantage for her to live close by, where she could still be part of our lives, and we could visit her whenever we please.”
She didn’t respond for a second. “That is a lovely sentiment, however—”
“But you don’t mind sending her away to some far-off port city, while you invite a scheming bond servant to be your new daughter. Is that right?”
He heard her sink back in the chair. “My. You are being vicious today. But considering your recent trauma, I shall make allowance for that and let it pass.” Her hand covered his.
He flinched and pulled away from her touch.
“Colin, dear,” she began evenly, in her most patient tone. “I have spent many hours in prayer since your return. Many hours. And when I saw Mariah collapse into heart-wrenching tears after you so rudely rejected her, I had not the slightest doubt those tears were real. Her heart was shattered. I know she loves you very deeply.”
Colin gave an inaudible huff but let her continue.
“Now, as for her being a schemer, I can only say that her service to us and her care for the girls has been above reproach and far outweighs any amount of money you paid for her. My only regret is that I was forced to order her to take on the duties of a kitchen maid when we were shorthanded the day of the race. For quite a spell after that humiliation, she was hesitant to join us whenever we had visitors.”
He considered that information before answering. “If what you say is even remotely true, it’s all the more reason she should leave this house. Being married to a blind man is decidedly not advantageous for such a talented and comely lass. She could do far better.”
A weary sigh issued from his mother. “Son, I’m afraid you don’t know the first thing about love: true, God-given love between a man and a woman, the selfless kind than overcomes any obstacle and endures regardless of adversity.” The rustle of her skirts indicated she’d risen. “I apologize if I’ve upset you. I take into account that your feelings are all topsy-turvy right now. As for Mariah, we can discuss her another time. But for this evening, I expect you to be a gentleman and, if nothing else, help entertain our guests. After all, Dennis is your best friend.”
He felt the breeze from her wake as she started for the door.
“I’ll send Benjamin up later to help you select your clothing.” Without further word, she left, her light footsteps fading as she went down the hall.
“Hmph.” Colin snorted, knowing that if he didn’t join the party she’d probably bring every last one of those guests right up to his room. And the last thing he needed was to have this last small piece of sanctuary totally overrun.
Sanctuary…where people sought safety in the Middle Ages.
Sanctuary…
His mind drifted to England, a land of green hedgerows and charming hamlets. He recalled the magnificent cathedrals he’d seen there: cool, quiet places where one could almost feel the presence of God. He’d felt that same quiet peace the last night before Fort Necessity was attacked, when he’d knelt down to pray right after he’d made God a promise.
How quickly he’d forgotten.
A ragged breath came from deep inside, and his shoulders slumped. “Forgive me, Father. I know I was growling at Mother, when all she wants is what’s best for us—even if she does happen to be wrong. From now on, Lord, I’ll try to pray first before opening my big mouth. Please keep reminding me to do that. And please give me the calm to be the gentleman Mother wants this evening.”
He wanted to add something about Mariah but didn’t know where to begin.
“Shh!” Mariah put a finger to her lips as she and Victoria passed Colin’s door on their way to the girls’ room just beyond. “He might be asleep.” And she certainly wasn’t up to facing another bout with him at the moment. Reaching Tori’s chamber, she ushered the girl inside.
A giggle bubbled forth from Victoria, who’d been flighty since hearing her beloved would be coming to supper. “I just know Tuck is gonna ask Papa for my hand, so I must look absolutely perfect.” She twirled happily in a swirl of sprigged muslin skirts as she danced toward the dressing table. Tugging the ribbon holding back her curls, she carelessly tossed it away, then lifted her golden tresses to the top of her head and arched her brows as she bent to gaze at her likeness in the loo
king glass. “You simply have to make me look spectacular, Mariah. Please.”
Mariah couldn’t help a light laugh. “Not too spectacular. You don’t want to appear obvious, do you? How about perfectly pretty, instead?”
Victoria pursed her lips, and her blue eyes sparkled with joy. “I suppose perfectly pretty will do.” Scooping her skirt to one side, she dropped down onto the dressing table stool. But her smile wilted as Mariah stepped up behind her and picked up the brush. “No matter how many times I’ve told Mother I love Tuck, I know she doesn’t believe me. He’s not the son of a wealthy merchant, you know. She’s sure to try and stop us.”
Mariah’s first instinct was to urge Tori to get her father alone and extract a promise from him to say yes to a match between her and the young man from the next plantation. Mr. Barclay had such a soft heart when it came to his girls.
But what would Rose say? The twinge of conscience clanged into her thoughts as surely as if Rose were present. “I think we should pray about it, sweetheart.”
Victoria’s eyes popped wide, as if that was the last thing she’d expected to come from Mariah’s mouth.
Nevertheless, Mariah persisted. “Let’s bow our heads, shall we?” She waited for Tori to follow suit. “Dear heavenly Father, we know that You love us, and because You do, You gave us the commandment to honor our parents. Sometimes that is really hard to do. But we know that our parents also love us and want what’s best for us.”
Tori interrupted. “But, Lord, You said in Corinthians that it’s better to marry than to burn, and I burn with love for Tuck.”
That was too much for Mariah. She sputtered into laughter, and Victoria joined in. After a few moments, Mariah regained control and purpose. She wrapped her arms around her sweet charge and gave her a squeeze, then bowed her head once more. “Yes, Father, You certainly know Victoria’s wish in the matter. We ask that You please soften Mistress Barclay’s heart concerning Tori’s deepest desire.”
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