It was the memories. They’d never really gone away, even when Xander had shocked them into submission with the pulse rifle. They were a constant distraction, overlying the rest of the world like a thin gray film.
Now they fluttered around him like crows, or maybe shadows of crows, a host of them haunting his flight.
He didn’t dare look directly at them. When he had done so as they climbed the cliff face, he’d been momentarily stunned as one of them unfolded itself in his head, stopping him in his tracks as he remembered this place, some eons before, through the eyes of someone or something other than himself.
Xander had bumped into him and knocked him out of it.
Jameson made an excuse about being tired—which he was—but ever since, he’d been careful not to engage with the memories again.
He couldn’t keep this up forever.
Xander flew at his side, casting worried looks back at Quince and his mother from time to time. Ahead of them, Venin, Alia, and Alix had taken the lead.
“Do you see… anything weird?” Jameson asked Xander at last.
“Like what?”
“Memories.”
Xander shook his head. “Not in a while, no. Why? Do you?”
Jameson wanted to tell him. Wanted to share the fear he had, the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right in his head. But Alix was there now. What if Xander still loved him? Wanted to go back to him? Alix was strong and brave and beautiful. What if Jameson was too broken to keep his Gaelani prince’s interest?
He couldn’t voice it, not even to himself.
“No. I’m okay.”
Xander smiled. “We’ll figure this whole memory thing out. I promise.”
Something dark flitted past Jameson’s field of vision. He closed his eyes until it passed.
“You sure you’re okay?”
Jameson nodded. “I’m fine.” He could hold it together for a little while longer.
XANDER WAS disturbed by the level of devastation evident in the winding river valley below. The storm-caused flooding had wiped out the forest downstream from the Mountain, leaving a trail of mud and destruction like a vast brown scar on the land.
As they flew on, the cloud cover broke up, blades of sunshine illuminating the damage.
Almost as worrisome was the fact that Jameson was lying to him.
Xander could see the distress his lover was in. Was it the memories? Or agony over what had happened to Morgan and the people who had likely died when the world had shifted? Or Alix?
Maybe all three.
As if on cue, Alix turned and flashed him a smile.
Xander flushed.
He wasn’t immune to the man’s charms. They had a history, much longer than what he and Jameson shared.
And much shorter, in another way. Or shallower?
Xander still wasn’t sure he bought this whole soulmates thing. World shifting notwithstanding. He cared for Jameson. Hell, he probably even loved him. But they’d been thrown into this cauldron together, and it was hard to see what was real and what was simply shared hardship and experience.
Alix had saved him.
Xander touched his head, where the explosive charge that had defined his life for six years had finally been removed when Alix came for him.
Alix, whom Xander had finally written off after a painful year of not knowing.
Maybe Jameson was right to be worried.
When they reached Gaelan, he’d have to talk with both of them. He was with Jameson now. Surely Alix would understand.
As if all that wasn’t enough, his mother was back from the dead too. Xander still wasn’t sure how to deal with that fact, either. He’d been without one for so many years. Quince had filled the role, but she was more like a dear aunt.
Not that he’d ever tell her that. He’d get his fingers bitten off.
As the afternoon waned, they rounded the last bend in the winding course through the mountains, bringing Gaelan into view. What was left of the city, in any case.
Xander’s mouth fell open as he took in the extent of the destruction. Oh my God.
The valley was awash in brown water, a mirror to the valley they’d left behind that morning. The winding course of the Orn was obscured by water and debris.
The aeries had fallen, every last one. Only the tower on Founder’s Hill and the House of the Moon—the black castle that perched above the valley on its western edge—was untouched.
Jameson’s mouth made a little O as they surveyed the scene. “Xander, I’m so sorry.”
Xander reached out and squeezed his hand.
Skythane were everywhere, salvaging what they could, working in an organized fashion from the walls of the House of the Moon.
Xander and his companions alighted on the castle wall one after another. “Excuse me,” he called to one of the skythane who had just landed with a bundle over her shoulder, a woman with dark eyes and wings.
The woman turned to see who called her and immediately dropped to her knees. “My lord.” She dared a glance up at him. “You’ve returned.” Then she saw Robyn and did a double take. “My lady?”
“This is no time for formality.” Xander helped her up. “What’s your name?”
“Teanna.”
“Teanna—the flooding… it looks like it was bad.”
She nodded. “There was a great wall of water that came down the Orn. It came in the late morning, thank the Gods, or there would have been more deaths….”
“More? How many were killed?”
“Maybe fifty?”
Xander swore. This was the price of his actions. A handful dead so thousands more could survive. This was the price his people paid to save the landers.
He had to remind himself that everyone would have died, skythane and lander, if he’d done nothing.
It might have been worth it.
“Who is in charge of the recovery?”
Teanna pointed to the courtyard of the castle. “Her name’s Mylin, sir.”
Mylin? “Thank you, Teanna. I am so sorry I wasn’t here when it happened.”
She grabbed his arm. “They say you left to save the world. Did you?”
Xander took a deep breath and sighed. “It’s too soon to tell.” He squeezed her arm and leapt over the wall to descend into the courtyard.
Mylin turned toward him as soon as he landed. “Xanderrrrrrr!” she called, and threw herself into his arms.
He loved that she didn’t stand on formality with him. “Hey there.” He held her out at arm’s length. “How did you end up in charge of all this?” Xander looked around the courtyard in wonder. In one corner, a crew was busy washing off salvaged materials. In another, foodstuffs were being stacked. In a third, a makeshift shower had been set up. In the fourth….
His stomach twisted, and he turned away. The last corner was filled with shapes wrapped in sheets and curtains and other assorted cloths.
“I… I don’t know. It needed to be done.”
He took her gently by the shoulders. “I am so proud of you,” Xander said softly. He should have been there. He should have prevented this from befalling his people, but he was blessed with people like this in his absence. “I’ve brought some friends. Put us to work.”
She nodded. “I could use some help with food collection. Most of the fields were destroyed, so I’ve got teams scouring what’s left and looking for wild sources as well.”
“The castle stores should be opened as well.”
She blushed. “Already done. Kadin opened them, before he left with the prisoner—”
“Kadin?” He’d hoped the man was dead, buried under the muck and rubble of the Mountain. He’d run back here instead.
“Yes… he came back yesterday. He said your mission was a success, and that you’d asked him to take that woman to you….” She tapered off. “The OberCorp prisoners escaped too, last night. We would have gone after them, but this… seemed more important.”
He swore. “You made the right choice.�
� Always one step ahead of them.
Robyn had come to stand next to him. “Kadin’s already gone?”
Xander nodded.
“Your Highness!” Mylin whispered and dropped to the ground.
“Get up, girl.” Robyn extended a hand to help Mylin stand up. “The man’s a traitor.”
“What?”
“Kadin’s the one who cut off my wings. At Dani’s command.”
Xander had been kicking himself for not seeing it sooner. “He was with me every step of the way.” Kadin’s sudden disappearance in the midst of the storm. The broken rocthane, the key that was supposed to help them shift the worlds. Dani’s confidence even after she’d been captured.
Robyn’s revelation had been a knife to his gut. He had trusted the man. “When did they leave?”
Mylin looked miserable. “Last night. I’m sorry—should I have stopped them?”
Xander shook his head. “He would have hurt you. You did the right thing.” He hugged his mother fiercely. “I’m sorry. If I had known….” At least the cards were on the table now. “We’ll deal with Kadin when we find him. For now, there’s lots of work to do….”
“Xander!”
Xander turned to see Quince catching a falling Jameson, whose eyes were fluttering back up into his head. Not again.
“I think he’s having a seizure,” Alix said.
Xander shook his head. “It’s the memories. It happened yesterday as well. I think they’re too much for him.” He wondered why they weren’t affecting him the same way.
Quince nodded. “Help me get him to a bed.”
Mylin got up uncertainly. “The castle is full of refugees, but I can find you a place. Follow me.”
Xander turned to the others. “Alia, Venin, find out where you can be most useful. We’ll see to Jameson.”
Venin and Alia left, and Xander picked up Jameson by his shoulders and Quince took his legs. Together with Alix, they followed Mylin through the crowded hallways of the House of the Moon.
Chapter Six: Council
ALIX FOLLOWED after Xander and Quince, trying to ignore the scowls and hateful stares he got from the skythane they passed as they made their way through the halls of the castle. He wasn’t wearing his enforcer garb, but either these people recognized him from his time there, or they were just soured on landers as a whole.
He couldn’t really blame them. They’d come as advisors to the king, promising to help modernize Gaelan. Within a few months, they’d become occupiers instead.
One man spat on him as he passed.
Alix closed his eyes. They had their reasons—even if he hadn’t been personally responsible for most of the bad things that had happened. He was still a ranger.
He was also astonished that Xander was a prince here. The first time they’d met, Xander had been a pale, skinny thing, running courier duty for Rogan in the Slander. Alix had immediately wanted to protect the boy, but it had taken him three long years to find him again and to buy out his contract. By then Xander had been seventeen, but in some ways he had still seemed much younger, his development arrested when Rogan had taken him. He’d had a lot of anger issues.
Xander had grown into his full potential. It was strange to see the man inhabit the role of a skythane king. Xander had always been out for himself before anyone else, a lone wolf. It was a natural response to six years of sexual slavery.
Now that version of Xander was gone. Somehow, his new maturity only made him more attractive to Alix.
Quince had warned him to stay away, but how could he? The man he had dreamed about for a year, had missed like a ragged hole in his soul, was right there in front of him.
Alix was no fool, though. Xander was focused on his new love, and he would gain nothing by stepping in the middle of that. Especially when Jameson was in some kind of crisis. He would have to wait and see what developed.
“In here.” Mylin led them into a small, bare room with a lumpy mattress.
“What is this place?” Xander asked.
“It’s my room,” Mylin explained. “I didn’t want it. But some of the others insisted I have a place to come for an hour or two to get away from the madness.”
Xander kissed her cheek. “I’m grateful.”
It was a particular kind of grace, as if the whole place didn’t belong to him to begin with. “Let’s get Jameson down on the mattress.” Quince and Xander laid Jameson down, holding him in place to keep him from thrashing about too much and injuring himself.
The man’s face was flushed, his wings extended and shivering as if he were freezing cold, but his skin was covered in sweat.
“What’s wrong with him?” Alix asked. He’d seen that look on men on campaign who’d been injured, but there wasn’t a bruise or cut on him, as far as Alix could tell.
Mylin returned with an earthenware bowl and a cloth and used it to wipe his forehead. The cool water seemed to calm him.
“He’s stuck in a memory loop,” Xander said, as if that should make perfect sense. “He sees these past memories, things that happened wherever he is, and sometimes they overwhelm him.”
“Whose memories? Looks more like a seizure to me.” Xander wasn’t buying into the native superstitions, was he? Though to be fair, Alix had seen his share of strange things on this half of the world.
Xander glared at him. “I have them too, but not like this.”
“What?”
“The memories. You sounded skeptical. We just shifted an entire world. You have to learn to adjust your expectations for what’s likely and possible.”
That shut Alix up.
“This happened before?” Quince asked.
“Yeah, back in the cavern.” Xander pulled out a pulse pistol. “This shocked him out of it.”
Quince smiled grimly. “I imagine it would. But you don’t want to go applying too many of those to poor young Jameson here. They could start to scramble his brain.”
“I know.” Xander winced. “So what do we do?”
Alix refrained from saying that it would be hard to tell the difference. “I might be able to help,” he said instead, as surprised as any of them that those words came out of his mouth.
Xander and Quince turned to him, surprised. “How?” Xander asked, but he looked hopeful.
“I have some experience dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder and panic attacks.” He pulled off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. He brushed off Xander’s renewed glare. “I know it’s not the same, but he needs to regain his focus on the here and now. I know a few things that might help.” He knelt next to Jameson.
Jameson whimpered.
Alix had a hard time keeping up his anger at Jameson. In fact, for a moment he was reminded of Xander, the first time they’d met. Jameson was pale and helpless, out of control of his own fate. Alix growled under his breath. He did not want to have sympathy for this man.
Gently he took Jameson’s hand and turned it over. Stunned, he hesitated.
Jameson’s fingernails had a double moon—a second arc above the first, separated by a thin line. It was subtle, but he was used to seeing it in rangers who’d taken up the habit during the long occupation.
Jameson was a pith user?
Alix shook his head. It was none of his business. “Can you take the lantern out of here? It may be easier if he has less to focus on.”
Robyn complied, taking it outside the door, and the room dimmed.
Alix held Jameson’s palm to his own bare chest. “Jameson, can you hear me?”
There was no glimmer of recognition in Jameson’s eyes.
Alix sighed. He had no guarantee that this would work. Still, it didn’t hurt to try. “Jameson, this is Alix. I’m right here with you.” He took a deep breath and breathed out just as slowly. “You have to focus, Jameson. Focus on me. Feel my breathing.” He breathed in once, deeply, holding it for a long moment, and then out again. “I want you to breathe with me.”
Alix put his other hand on Jameson’s chest. “In.
Out. In. Out. Focus on breathing.”
He concentrated on his own.
“Is it working?” Xander peered over his shoulder.
“Shhhh.” Alix’s hand was warm against Jameson’s beautiful chest. Jameson looked like an angel. He shook his head. He would not let himself be attracted to Xander’s crush. “We’re all here with you, Jameson. In….”
Jameson’s chest lifted.
“Out.”
Jameson’s chest fell.
“That’s good.” Soon they were breathing together as one, connected skin to skin. It was as intimate a thing as he had ever experienced. “It’s okay. Let the memories go. Just keep breathing.”
Xander’s hand settled on his shoulder, sending a new splash of warmth through his body.
At last, Jameson’s eyes focused.
He looked up at Alix. “What… what happened?”
“You were stuck in your memories. The breathing helped you to get a grip and move past them.” He lifted his hand off Jameson’s chest and laid it down on the bed. The connection was broken.
“Thanks.” Jameson’s voice was raspy.
“Are they gone for now?”
Jameson looked around. “I think so.”
Alix nodded. “Good. I can teach you how to cope with them, I think. If you want.”
“Yes, please.” Jameson closed his eyes. “So tired.”
“He was tired last time too,” Xander said. “I think these memory storms really take it out of him.” Alix got up so Xander could kneel next to Jameson. “Sleep, my love.”
Jameson nodded, and his head drooped to the side.
“That was nicely done,” Quince whispered to Alix.
“Just part of my training.” He was uncomfortable with the memory of Jameson’s warm chest, of the look in his eyes when he’d woken up. He pulled her aside, out into the hall. “Can I ask you something?”
She stared into his eyes for a moment, and then nodded. “Shoot.”
“How did Jameson and Xander shift an entire world?”
She laughed ruefully. “There are things you don’t know about this world. It’s ancient beyond the time of humankind. And we’re not the first to live here.”
He nodded. “I’d figured out that much. But still, Xander and Jameson… they’re skythane. But they’re still human.”
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