by B. N. Toler
“To Johnny!” his friends mimic and raise their shot glasses.
Tossing the bottle back, not allowing the rim to touch my lips, I let it pour into my mouth. They all begin to shout as they watch me. I refuse to cough after I bring the bottle down, even though my throat is on fire. Instead, I lick my lips seductively and give another wink. I look towards the bar and Carter is gone, but Andre and Daniel are staring directly at me.
I bend down again and the four men I had toasted begin tossing dollar bills on the stage. I fill their shot glasses again. “Any of you boys got a lighter?” I’m not sure which one, but someone tosses me a red lighter.
“Thanks,” I say with a wink.
I whistle for Remmi, our D.J., to start my song and I can see even he is stunned by my little bit with the shots as he gapes at me from his post, mouth open. I haven’t done a stage dance before and I’m sure everyone that works here won’t be able to stop watching. I’ve tripped and dropped four trays of drinks since I’ve been here; this is sure to end disastrous. After a moment, Remmi moves and my song begins. I catch Corbin’s eye as he stands in the doorway from the front foyer. He shakes his head, telling me not to do what I’m about to do.
I hear J. Roddy’s voice over the speakers and start moving my body as seductively as possible. “I’ve been pulling thread, doing all kinds of evil. I know you hate me baby, but don’t break the needle. Hey hey hey hey hey haw haw. Make me laugh baby. Don’t make me crawl.” The song plays on and I stare at Andre who is fixated on me, his lips curved slightly. I avoid looking at Daniel, but I feel his stare burning into me from across the bar.
I pour more tequila in my mouth and proceed to spit it out over the flame from the Bic lighter, creating a flash of fire. My heart is literally beating eight hundred miles a minute now and I just know I’m going to set myself on fire or go into cardiac arrest. The fact that my cheap wig is made of synthetic fiber, thus making it highly flammable, surfaces somewhere in the back of my mind, but it’s a moot point at this moment. There’s no turning back now.
I channel some version of myself that actually has coordination and rhythm as I continue to move and pour more tequila in my mouth and spray it over the flame in my hand. The entire place has their eyes on me as I drop the bottle and dance towards the end of the stage. When I reach the pole, I twirl around it and flip my legs up, gripping the bar with one leg as I spin around upside down. By the end of the song I stand breathless, but satisfied. I didn’t remove any of my clothing, I’m not sure I will ever be able to do it, but Andre claps his hands and I know I have won him tonight. Daniel is seething angry and I momentarily cringe wondering if I may set him off and he might freeze everyone. The entire bar is standing and clapping for me. My inner self takes a bow, blowing kisses to my adoring fans. I hear whistling and turn to see a ton of cash on the stage. I quickly set about picking it up and Corbin joins me, assisting me in my effort.
“You got glass all over the stage,” Corbin notes.
“Yeah,” I acknowledge him. I didn’t mean for the bottle to shatter when I dropped it.
Alex hands him a brush and dustpan and he begins sweeping up the glass. “You gotta be the dumbest person I know.”
Well I’ve heard that before.
“Come on. I totally rocked that,” I smile back, not allowing him to rain on my parade. He grabs my hand and holds it to my face. Lost in pure adrenaline, I hadn’t noticed I burned my hand.
“If I had known you would do that, I would’ve never shown you that shit,” he scolds.
“I’m so glad you did though, Corbin,” I tease back. About two weeks ago, Corbin and I were drinking on Carter’s balcony when he decided to show me one of his talents. Somewhere along the way, he had learned to spit fire and he spent two hours, along with two bottles of cheap vodka, that night trying to teach me how to do it. It was so scary at first, but once I got the hang of it, I loved it.
“We didn’t use no damn tiny lighter either.”
“That’s why I’m even more amazing at it than you,” I quip as I avoid his gaze and focus on sweeping up the remainder of the broken glass.
“You may think it’s funny now, but Carter’s in the dressing room waiting for you.”
I cringe knowing Carter is going to lose his shit on me. As I exit the stage, I look back to the bar for Andre, but he is nowhere to be seen. I look back to the table where the patrons from the nest were sitting, but they’re gone as well. When I get into the dressing room, Carter is waiting, looking as if he could spit fire.
“I know,” I say, aggravated before he even speaks.
“No, you don’t,” he growls through clenched teeth.
I pull my wig and my mask off and toss it on my bureau. “What’s the problem Carter?” I ask, trying to summon my inner Sarah. I will not apologize and I will not back down on this one.
“You almost set my bar on fire!” he shouts, fists clenched at his sides. Wow. He’s really pissed.
“Oh, come on. I was careful,” I argue, knowing deep down that I really could have done a lot of damage, but too proud to admit it.
“It was dumb, Aldo,” Thomas says from behind me. I turn to confront him and he grabs my hand. “You’re burned.” I jerk my hand from his.
“I don’t recall anyone asking you Thomas,” I hiss. “Andre challenged me. I didn’t have a choice.” I return my attention to Carter.
“Aldo, let me see your hand.” Thomas tries to grab my arm again.
“My name is Bristol while in this club and why are you here?” I whip back.
“I called him and told him to come and get you.” Carter crosses his arms.
“Why?” I ask angry. “Andre was here. What if he had seen him?”
“I came through the back.”
“I don’t need a babysitter, Carter.”
“No, you need something though.” Carter shakes his head passing by me. “You’re paying for the damage to that stage.”
“Sure,” I huff.
“And the bottle of tequila you wasted. You’re not even twenty-one!” he yells.
“A minor technicality,” I say dryly just trying to be funny. He grimaces and I know he doesn’t find it humorous at all. “You have to admit, it was pretty kick ass, Carter.” I grin trying to bring him down from his rage.
“It made me want to kick your ass,” he replies with a wink. “Take her to the apartment, stay with her, and don’t let her out of your sight.”
“I want to go back to my hotel,” I argue.
“Thomas will take you to the apartment to keep an eye on you.”
“Carter—”
“Zip it, Aldo. Take her to the apartment, Thomas.”
“Yeah,” Thomas nods. Carter exits and Thomas and I make eye contact.
“I’ll be right out, Thomas,” I groan annoyed by his presence.
“I’m not supposed to let you out of my sight,” he replies and his lips tighten as if he’s trying to keep from smiling.
“You’re going to watch me change?” I ask.
“You’re practically naked right now, does it really matter?”
I stare at him, burning with anger as I start to slowly remove my clothing. “I guess not.” His gaze remains fixed on me, his eyes beaming heat in my direction as I strip completely naked. My cheeks warm with anger, I stand before him, in all of my naked glory. His eyes drink up every inch of me as if my bare body is an endless well of quenching water and his thirst has no end. It’s wrong to toy with him like this; perhaps I’m sending him one giant mixed signal, but I’m doing this for no other reason than to punish him. To show him what he could have had and now, never will. Before slipping into my regular clothes I ask, “Enjoying the show?”
He rolls his eyes and turns. “Just get dressed.”
When I finally exit the dressing room I head to the front. As I make my way through the showroom, I look to the bar to see if Carter’s there, but he’s not. At the end of the bar, there’s a broad built man in a ball cap staring at me. I s
quint and I swear it’s….
“Rhett,” I whisper in disbelief. Running to the bar, not sure if I’m happy or terrified to see him, I realize it’s not Rhett at all. I stare at the man confused. It looked just like him from a distance. The man smiles at me and nods. I turn, frustrated and continue out to the foyer.
“Did you think you knew him?” Thomas questions from behind me. I ignore him and nod to Corbin who smiles at me as we exit. He knows this is beyond torture for me.
I walk out of the club and walk as fast as I can. Thomas follows me, but doesn’t speak. When we reach the apartment complex we wait inside for the elevator in silence. Once we enter, Thomas asks, “Who did you think that man was?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I say, avoiding eye contact. Once we make it to the apartment I grab a beer out of the fridge and hide out on the balcony. The evening is chilly, but it feels good since I am so worked up from my performance tonight and my body feels as if it’s a thousand degrees. I go back in two more times to grab more beer and the second time I find Thomas and Kaitlynn in the living room watching a movie.
Kaitlynn is the same doe-eyed lovesick teen I was, head over heels for Thomas. She’s practically his shadow because wherever he is, she’s there too.
It’s only midnight and I’m starting to feel pretty good when Thomas emerges and stands leaning over the balcony railing, a beer in his hand. “It’s time, Aldo,” Thomas says staring out into the city.
“For what?”
“For you and I to discuss what went down.” Turning towards me, he leans against the railing. “It’s not fair to hate me when you won’t even let me explain.”
Maybe it’s my buzz altering my ability to judge effectively, but I indulge him. “I’m not sure I want to know, Thomas.”
He shifts and then moves to the chair beside me. “Or, is it you just want to be pissed off at me forever and you’re scared the truth might prevent that?”
“So, you’re ready to tell me the truth? How about the truth about you?”
He sighs and leans back in his chair. “I was born in California. That’s where the nest was. I never met my mother. She was used like so many others.” His throat bobs as he swallows hard. “Lucas and I had an older sister. Her name was Carey. She always looked out for me, but they always tried to keep us separated.”
“Who?”
“Our guardians.” He takes a sip of his beer.
“The people you called mom and dad?” When I met Thomas he told me he was raised by friends of his parents and these were the people he called his mom and dad.
“I lied to you about that. All the stories I told you about my so called mom and dad were a lie. The truth is, I shared an apartment with six other boys. More like a cell, actually. The complex was guarded. We didn’t have what one might consider parental figures. We had prison guards. We had school each day within the complex, it was really more like a compound, and we were allowed free time, meaning time to be outside to interact with other kids. Those were the only times I got to see Carey. Occasionally the boys were taken places, like to the mall or out to eat, but only a few at a time. The girls were never allowed off of the property.”
My heart sinks at the thought of the poor girls. They were denied any inkling of a life and then destroyed after experiencing unimaginable things.
“I was fourteen when they took her.” He runs a hand through his hair. “We didn’t know exactly where they took the girls, but we knew they never came back. I watched them drive her away.” He blinks rapidly and sips his beer again. “I started walking Carey’s dreams, trying to figure out where she was taken. It didn’t take long to find out the truth.”
I close my eyes as he speaks. What would I do if I lost Whit or Hudson? The thought shakes me and I force my eyes open and push it away.
“About a year later a newborn was brought in. My niece. They named her Corinne.” He smiles softly as he says her name. “I kept walking Carey’s dreams, but six months later I was blocked.”
“Blocked?”
“That’s when I knew she was gone.” He clears his throat.
“What happened to Corinne?” I sip my beer and stare out over the street from my seat. My heart screams for me to go to him and comfort him, but my mind, my mental vault that contains every memory of how he hurt me, forbids it.
“I don’t know. She’d be about eleven now. I assume she’s still at the compound.”
“How did you escape?”
“I couldn’t get her out, but I thought if I could get out, I could come back for her. Lucas and I were taken on an outing with some other boys one day. He was maybe ten at the time. When the guards weren’t looking, we snuck away.”
“You were fifteen? What did you do?”
“We were picked up by some cops a few days later. We had made it all the way to Oregon. They put us in foster care, but we were lucky. They kept us together. When I turned eighteen, I took custody of him and we left. I healed for money and we bounced around until I met you.”
I sip my beer again. “And look how that turned out. My aunt ended up murdered.” My tone is thick with resentment.
“I didn’t kill her.” He looks down at his hands. “It’s a horrible story, but I have to tell you.” He waits for me to respond, but I don’t. “That night, at Lila’s house, after our argument, I went home. I had struggled for so long with what to do about you.”
“Do about me?” I question offended.
“After the first time I met Lucy. You remember how awesome that was, right?”
I give a half smile. Lucy treated Thomas like he was the plague. It got better after some time, but she was very against me having a friendship with him. “Yeah, I remember. Guess she knew you were bad news.”
Thomas sighs and shakes his head. “Just let me get this out without all the smart-ass comments.”
“Fine,” I snap.
“She showed up at my house the next day and railed me. She told me that you were too good for me. That you were meant for great things, and to stay away from you.”
“And you didn’t listen.”
“I promised her that I would in no way be anything other than your friend. For whatever reason, she seemed to believe me. But the night you told me you were accepted to Virginia Tech, I realized that I was in love with you. The thought of you leaving me made me insane and then when you kissed me, I knew I had to let you go.”
“Why?”
“I promised her. She was right, too. You were—are, too good for me. So I tried to cut you off. I loved you, Aldo. I wanted to be with you, but I knew where I came from. I knew Lucas struggled every day not to run back to the nest we came from. He’s my little brother and I had to take him and try to show him how great a normal life could be, but I could see as the years passed he missed it. Still, I pushed on hoping if I could give him enough he would settle into our new life.”
“I never imagined I’d meet you. You fell right into my lap. Of course, then I met your family and I stayed because I wanted to be with you, and them. I had never experienced anything like that. Our foster homes were crowded and it never felt like family, but with you guys, it did. Everything in me told me to leave you, and I tried, but you showed up at my house and when Lucas saw you, his old instincts kicked in.”
“Instincts?”
“We were raised to be loyal to the cause.”
“What cause?”
“To keep healer bloodlines pure.”
“How did he know what I was? We never discussed it the day I met him.”
“I told him.” He says it so quietly I almost didn’t hear him.
“What?”
He chugs the remainder of his beer and sits it beside his chair. “I thought I could trust him.”
I stare at him in disbelief. “You knew he struggled to go back to the nest, but thought it was safe to tell him what I was?”
“I thought if I showed him that there were others like us, living out in the real world, he would see how good h
is life could be. But I was wrong. He turned you and your brothers in.”
“And when did you find this out?”
“I was in your dream that night, after our fight at Lila’s house, and I watched you staring out into the water. I wanted to come to you and tell you what you meant to me, but I couldn’t. I knew I wasn’t any good for you. I left and decided that I would let you move on. I would take Lucas and move. When I exited your dream, I started packing. The next morning I went to check on Lucas and he was acting odd. He told me it was safe for us to return to the nest because he had turned your name over and someone was coming to get you. We had a huge fight and he left. I called Lucy and confessed everything to her. She made me swear to leave and never speak to you again.”
“Did Lucas murder her?” I ask still reeling in shock from his story. None of it was a surprise, but hearing him say it was a confirmation.
“Maybe.”
“What happened after that?”
“We left.” He looked away from me.
I feel like someone has just backhanded me across my face. “You left with him?” I yell, unable to control my anger.
“He begged for my forgiveness and swore he would never betray me again. He was all I had Aldo.”
“He killed Lucy! He tried to sell me, Thomas!” I yell. “Not just me, but my brothers!”
“They wouldn’t have taken your brothers, Aldo,” Thomas says attempting to calm me.
“What?”
“Their gift is twisted. They would have wanted them to live because then they could have used them to keep you obedient.”
“What?” I’m surprised to hear how horrified my voice sounds.
“You would have let them do anything to you as long as they didn’t harm your brothers,” he says quietly. Sobs begin to escape me and he moves as if he’s going to try and comfort me, but I shift preventing him.
“I swear I’m telling the truth, Aldo.”
I want to believe him, but something occurs to me. When I was in my yearlong coma, he walked my subconscious. Why didn’t he tell me what was going on? Why didn’t he try to get me to wake up? “Then why didn’t you just tell me I was trapped in my subconscious, Thomas? Why make up all of those crazy scenes?” My hands are fisted at my sides so tightly my nails are digging into my palms.