“Mr. Ivashkov,” I began, despite every reasonable voice in my head screaming at me to shut up. “It’s unfair to blame Adrian for her choices, especially when he didn’t even realize what she was doing. I know he would do anything for her. If he’d been able to stop this—or take her place—he would have.”
“You’re sure of that, huh?” Nathan was piling his plate with food and seemed quite excited about it. Neither Adrian nor I had an appetite. “Well, Miss Sage, I’m sorry to shatter your illusions, but it seems you—like so many other young women—have been fooled by my son’s fast-talking ways. I can assure you, he has never done anything that didn’t serve his own interests first. He has no initiative, no ambition, no follow-through. From a very early age, he was constantly breaking rules, never listening to what others had to say if it didn’t suit what he wanted. I’m not really surprised his college attempts have failed—and I assure you, this one will too—because he barely made it out of high school. It wasn’t even about the drinking, the girls, and the stunts he pulled… he just didn’t care. He ignored his work. It was only through our influence and checkbook that he managed to graduate. Since then, it’s been a constant downward spiral.”
Adrian looked like he’d been slapped. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but even I was still in shock from Nathan’s words. Adrian clearly was too. It was one thing to go on and on about how you thought your father was disappointed in you. It was an entirely different thing to hear your father explain it in excruciating detail. I knew because I had been in both situations.
“Honestly, I don’t even mind the drinking so much, so long as it knocks him out and keeps him quiet,” continued Nathan, through a mouth full of goat cheese. “You think his mother suffers now? I assure you, she’s far better off. She was up countless nights, crying over whatever trouble he’d gotten himself into. Keeping him away from her now isn’t about me or him. It’s for her. At least now, she doesn’t have to hear about his latest antics or worry about him. Ignorance is bliss. She’s in a better place not having contact with him, and I intend to keep it that way.” He offered the scallops to me, as though he hadn’t just delivered a huge chastisement without taking a breath. “You really should try this. Protein’s good for you, you know.”
I shook my head, unable to find words.
Adrian took a deep breath. “Really, Dad? I come all the way here to see you, to ask you to give me some way to contact her… and this is all I get? That she’s better off not talking to me?” Looking at him, I had a feeling he was working very hard to stay calm and reasonable. Breaking into snarky Adrian retorts wouldn’t win him any ground, and he knew it.
Nathan looked startled. “Is that the only reason you came here?” It was clear from his tone that he thought it was a foolish reason.
Adrian bit his lip, probably again to hold back his true feelings. I was impressed at his control. “I also thought… well, that maybe you’d want to hear how I was doing. I thought you might be glad to know I was doing something useful.” I gasped.
For a moment, his father simply stared. Then, his confusion melted into one of those awkward laughs. “Ah. You’re joking. I was puzzled for a moment.”
“I’m done with this,” said Adrian.
In a flash, he downed his martini and was out of his seat, heading toward the door. Nathan continued eating undisturbed, but I was on my feet as well. It was only when I was halfway across the pub, trying to catch up with Adrian, that Nathan bothered to say anything else.
“Miss Sage?” Every part of me wanted to run after Adrian, but I paused to glance back at his father. Nathan had taken out his wallet and was flipping through a stack of bills. “Here. Allow me to pay you for your gas and your time.”
He held the cash out, and I almost laughed. Adrian had forced himself to come here for all sorts of reasons, money being one of them. He’d never gotten a chance to ask for it, yet here his father was, offering it up. I didn’t move.
“I don’t want anything from you,” I said. “Unless it’s an apology to Adrian.”
Nathan gave me another blank look. He seemed sincerely confused. “What do I have to apologize for?”
I left.
Adrian had either taken the stairs or immediately caught an elevator because there was no sign of him outside the pub. I went back up to the lobby and peered around anxiously. A bellman passed by, and I flagged him down.
“Excuse me. Where’s the nearest place you can smoke?”
He nodded back toward the front door. “Far side of the circle drive.”
I thanked him and practically ran outside. Sure enough, over in the designated smoking area, Adrian was leaning against an ornate fence in the shade of an orange tree, lighting up. I hurried over to him.
“Adrian,” I exclaimed. “Are you okay?”
He took a long drag on his cigarette. “Is that really a question you want to ask, Sage?”
“He was out of line,” I said adamantly. “He had no business saying any of that about you.”
Adrian inhaled on the cigarette again and then dropped it to the sidewalk. He stamped the cigarette out with the toe of his shoe. “Let’s just go back to Palm Springs.”
I glanced back at the hotel. “We should get you some water or something. You took down that vodka pretty fast.”
He nearly smiled. Nearly. “Takes a lot more than that to make me sick. I won’t throw up in your car. I promise. I just don’t want to stick around and risk seeing him again.”
I complied, and before long, we were back on the road again. We’d spent less time in San Diego than it had taken to drive there. Adrian stayed silent, and this time, I didn’t try to coax him out or distract him with meaningless conversation. No words of mine would help. I doubted anyone’s words would help. I didn’t blame Adrian for his mood. I’d feel the same way if my father had laid into me like that in public. Still, I wished there was something I could do to ease Adrian’s pain. Some small comfort to give him a moment of peace.
My chance came when I saw a small gas station outside of Escondido with a sign reading BEST SLUSHES IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA HERE AT JUMBO JIM’S! I remembered his joke about switching to a slush-based diet. I turned my car off the highway, even though I knew it was silly. What was a slush compared to the disaster we’d just left behind? Still, I had to do something—anything—to make Adrian feel better. He didn’t even seem to notice we’d stopped there until I was getting out of the car.
“What’s up?” he asked, managing to drag himself out of his dark thoughts. The look on his face tore me apart. “You’ve got half a tank.”
“Be right back,” I said.
I returned five minutes later, a cup in each hand, and managed to knock on his window. He got out of the car, truly puzzled now. “What’s going on?”
“Slushes,” I said. “Cherry for you. You have to drink it out here, though. I’m not risking the car.”
Adrian blinked a couple of times, as though maybe I was a mirage brought on by too much sunlight. “What is this? A pity party for me? Because I’m so pathetic?”
“It’s not always about you,” I scolded. “I saw the sign and wanted a slush. Figured you’d want one too. If you don’t, I’ll throw it away and just drink mine.”
I only got one step away before he stopped me and took the bright red slush. We leaned against the car together and drank without talking for a while. “Man,” he finally said, when we were about halfway through. There was a look of wonder in his eyes. “I’d forgotten how good these are. What kind did you get?”
“Blue raspberry.”
He nodded and slurped loudly on his. That dark mood still hung around him, and I knew a childhood beverage wasn’t going to undo what his father had done anytime soon. The best I could hope for was a few moments of peace for him.
We finished shortly thereafter and tossed the cups in the trash. When we got back in Latte, Adrian sighed wearily and rubbed his eyes. “God, those are awesome. I think I needed that. The vodka ma
y have hit me harder than I thought. Glad you decided to branch out into something that isn’t coffee for a change.”
“Hey, if they’d had coffee flavor, you know I would’ve gotten it.”
“That’s disgusting,” he said. “There isn’t enough sugar in the world to make that even remotely—” He stopped and gave me a startled look. In fact, he looked so shocked that I stopped backing up and kicked the car back into park.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“The slush. That thing’s like 99 percent sugar. You just drank one, Sage.” He seemed to interpret my silence as though perhaps I hadn’t understood. “You just drank liquid sugar.”
“Maybe you drank liquid sugar,” I said. “Mine was sugar free.” I hoped I sounded convincing.
“Oh.” I couldn’t tell if he was relieved or disappointed. “You freaked me out there for a minute.”
“You should’ve known better.”
“Yeah. I suppose so.” He fell back into his blue mood, the slushes only a temporary distraction. “You know what the worst part of all that was?”
I knew we were back to his father, not slushes. “What?”
“You’d think it’d be that I didn’t get the money or that he just ripped my life apart or that he has no faith in me sticking to college. But that’s okay. I’m used to that from him. What really bothers me is that I really did ruin my mom’s life.”
“I can’t imagine you did,” I said, shocked at his words. “Like you pointed out, we still love people who make mistakes. I’m sure she loves you too. Anyway, that’s something you need to discuss with her—not him.”
He nodded. “The other thing that bothered me… well, he said all that in front of you.”
That was a shock too. I brushed it off, feeling a little flustered that he would think so much of my opinion. Why should he care? “Don’t worry about me. I’ve been with much more abrasive people than him.”
“No, no… I mean…” Adrian looked at me and then quickly averted his eyes. “After what he said about me, I can’t stand the thought that you might think less of me.”
I was so surprised that I couldn’t muster a response right away. When I did, I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Of course I don’t.” He still wouldn’t look at me, apparently not believing my words. “Adrian.” I laid my hand over his and felt a warm spark of connection. He jerked his head toward me in astonishment. “Nothing he said could change what I think of you. I’ve had my mind made up about you for a long time… and it’s all good.”
Adrian looked away from me and down to where my hand covered his. I blushed and pulled away. “Sorry.” I’d probably freaked him out.
He glanced back up at me. “Best thing that’s happened to me all day. Let’s hit the road.”
We got back on the highway, and I found myself distracted by two things. First was my hand. It still tingled and felt warm from where I’d touched his, which was kind of funny. People always thought vampires were cold, but they weren’t. Certainly not Adrian. The sensation was fading the longer I drove, but I kind of wished it’d stay.
The other thing that kept distracting me was all that sugar I’d just consumed. I kept running my tongue over my teeth. My whole mouth was coated in sickening sweetness. I wanted to brush my teeth and then drink a bottle of mouthwash. Liquid sugar. Yes, that was exactly what it had been. I hadn’t wanted to drink one, but I’d known if I’d just brought a slush for Adrian, he really would’ve read that as pity and refused. I had to act as though I’d wanted one too, with him as an afterthought. He seemed to have believed my lie about the drink’s sugar content, though a quick trip into the gas station would have quickly alerted him to the fact that Jumbo Jim’s most certainly didn’t carry sugar-free slushes. I’d asked them. They’d laughed.
Skipping lunch wasn’t going to compensate for those calories, I thought glumly. And I wasn’t going to get that sugary taste out of my mouth anytime soon. With as quickly as Adrian had sunk back into his depression, I suddenly felt stupid for even attempting this ruse. A slush couldn’t change what his father had said, and I’d be a pound up on the scale tomorrow. This probably hadn’t been worth it.
Then, I thought back to that brief moment by the car, and Adrian’s fleeting look of contentment, followed later by: God, those are awesome. I think I needed that.
A brief moment of peace in the midst of his dark despair. That was what I had wanted, and that was what I had gotten. Was it worth it? I rubbed my fingertips together, still feeling that warmth.
Yes, I decided. Yes, it was worth it.
CHAPTER 10
THE SAN DIEGO TRIP continued to bother me, even though I knew I should let it go. As I often reminded myself, Adrian wasn’t my concern, not like Jill and the others. Yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about the terrible confrontation with him and Nathan—or Adrian’s face afterwards. I felt even worse when a worried Eddie came to talk to me about Jill during breakfast on the following Monday.
“Something’s wrong with her,” he told me.
Immediately, I looked up toward the cafeteria line, where Jill was waiting with her tray. There was a vacant look on her face, like she was barely aware of her surroundings. Even with no magical talent for auras, I could practically see the misery radiating off of her.
“Micah’s noticed it too,” Eddie added. “But we don’t know anything that could be upsetting her this much. Is it because of Lia? Or is she being harassed again?”
In that moment, I wasn’t sure who I felt worse for: Adrian, Jill—or Eddie. There was practically as much pain in Eddie as there was in Jill. Oh, Eddie, I thought. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? He was clearly worried about her but wouldn’t dare approach her or offer comfort.
“There’s nothing wrong with Jill. It’s Adrian, and she’s feeling it through the bond. He’s going through a rough time.” I offered no more details on Adrian’s situation. It wasn’t my story to tell.
Eddie’s face darkened a little. “It’s not fair that she has to endure his moods.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Seems like it might be a fair trade for her being alive.” Adrian using spirit to bring Jill back from the dead was still a troubling matter for me. Every bit of Alchemist training I had said that kind of magic was wrong, far worse than any of the other magic I’d witnessed. One could even argue that what he’d managed was only a few steps away from the undead immortality of Strigoi. At the same time, whenever I saw Jill bright and alive, I was convinced that Adrian had done a good thing. I’d meant it when I said as much to him in San Diego.
“I suppose,” said Eddie. “I wish there was a way she could block him out. Or at least a way to make him a little less moody.”
I shook my head. “From what I’ve heard, Adrian was like that long before Jill was shadow-kissed.”
Still, that conversation stuck with me, and I spent the day asking myself: what could I do to make Adrian happier? A new father obviously wasn’t possible. I would have tried that on myself years ago if I could. Slushes were also out, partially because they only offered ten minutes of comfort and because I was still recovering from the last one. An idea finally came to me later on, but it wasn’t one I could easily implement. In fact, I knew my superiors would say it was nothing I should even attempt—which is why I decided to do it in a way that wouldn’t leave an e-mail or paper trail. I couldn’t do it today, however, so I made a mental note to deal with it later. Besides, who could say? Maybe Adrian would shake off the effects of his fatherly encounter on his own.
These hopes were actually reinforced when I saw Jill the next day at a school assembly. Assemblies like this were still a new concept to me, and we’d had exactly two since school started. One had been a welcoming gathering during our first week. The other had been a pep rally to cheer on the football team before Homecoming. Today’s was called “Healthy Lifestyles.” I couldn’t figure out what it was about or why it was important enough to interrupt my chemistry class.
We were seated by grade in the school’s gym, putting Jill and me in separate sections of the bleachers. Craning my neck to get a glimpse of her, I saw her sitting down near the front with Angeline and several friends she’d made through Micah. They’d welcomed her easily once they got to know her, which wasn’t a surprise with how nice she was. Even Laurel, a girl who’d once tormented Jill, now gave her a friendly look. Angeline said something that made Jill laugh, and, overall, there was definitely an improvement in Jill’s attitude. A very big improvement, judging from how much she was giggling. My spirits rose. Maybe Adrian really had bounced back.
“Can someone tell me what this is about?” I asked. I had Eddie and Micah on one side of me, Trey on the other.
“It’s this group that comes to school and gives presentations about things like drugs and safe sex,” explained Micah. He was pretty active in student government, so I wasn’t surprised he knew about today’s agenda.
“Those are kind of big topics,” I said. “Isn’t this just supposed to be an hour? Doesn’t seem like they can really provide thorough coverage of these issues.”
“I think it’s just supposed to be a quick overview,” said Trey. “Not like they’re trying to do a seminar or anything.”
“Well,” I declared. “They should.”
“Did we miss anything?” Julia and Kristin pushed their way through others and squeezed themselves in between Trey and me. Trey didn’t seem to mind.
“We’re trying to explain the point of this to Sydney,” Trey told them.
“I thought the point was to get out of class,” said Julia.
Kristin rolled her eyes. “This’ll show you what you were missing by being homeschooled, Sydney.”
The Golden Lily: A Bloodlines Novel Page 14