by Lacey Silks
“I love smelling how much you want me,” he whispered from below, looking up with his heavily lidded eyes. Other than the occasional moan that came out of my mouth, I was mute again. I had so many questions to ask him. There was too much to talk about, but none of it seemed important. And then off came my panties. I couldn’t take in how swiftly he managed to undress me.
When he stood back up, his height dominated me. I lifted my fingers to his chest, raking them gently through the sprinkle of silver hair. He closed his eyes, savoring the feel of my touch, and then gently pressed himself to my body, skin to skin, guiding me back toward the glass shower. The floor underneath my feet was warm. I stepped over the small ledge into the path of the raining shower head. As soon as we were submerged, his mouth covered mine, reminding me how good and delicious he tasted. His swift tongue danced with mine, striking a chord with the rest of my body, awakening my need for him.
As if reading my mind, Sean lifted me into his arms. I wrapped my hands around his neck, the level of my eyes above his, cupping his face in my palms, kissing him like I hadn’t kissed a man in ages, desperate for a fiercer move from his lips. My body slid down his slick muscles like a snake, but he didn’t let me go all the way down. Instead, he held my ass, supporting my weight, centering me over him, and then thrust inside me with one swift buck of his hips. I pulled my mouth away as the force jerked me upward, connecting my back to the wall.
I twined my arms around his neck and dug my fingers into his back.
“Look at me,” he said plunging into me again, pressing me hard against the wall.
Those sky blue eyes held my attention as Sean pushed into me over and over again. The friction between my pussy and his lower abs built, sending all my concentration below my waist. I would have never imagined that sex after so many years could be so good. Or maybe it was because I hadn’t had it in so long? No, I’d definitely remember feeling this euphoria racing through my veins and permeating my skin.
“Where are you?” he asked, forcing himself deeper inside me, as if wanting to remind me what was happening.
“What?”
“Where did you go in that head of yours?”
“I’m here. It’s just so good.”
“Good?”
“Yeah.”
“Good is not good enough. Lose yourself, April. Let go. Be with me and only me.” Sean gently bit my shoulder and rolled his hips back and forth, in and out. My back slid up and down against the tiled wall of the shower, and at that point all I could think about was that beautiful swell building between my legs.
“More,” I whispered.
At my command, Sean’s rhythm quickened. Each pounce was meant to hit my depth and rub my clit. The wet slap of his pelvis against my skin resonated in my ears, along with his heavy breathing. It was the most arousing sound I’d heard since the last time we had sex. He worked those hips like an expert, and the first shot of my orgasm flew through me.
More, I thought.
I didn’t want this to end. I wanted to feel his stretch inside me for longer, but my body disagreed. It needed a release, and I could no longer contain it.
“Sean…ahm…”
My scream was muffled by his big hand covering my mouth. He clasped it tightly, leaving enough room for me to breathe through my nose, silencing his name. I wanted to shout over and over again. I wanted all that pressure to leave my body, but he denied me an exit from my mouth. Instead, it made the orgasm that much stronger. My fingers dug into his skin like claws, leaving red marks. And with one last pounce he stilled, his body shaking and knees slightly bent as he spilled himself inside me. He held me still against that wall for what seemed like hours before slowly setting me down in the shower and gently pulling out. I touched myself to feel the swollen folds and his warm seed seeping out of me.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to fuck you in my shower.” He kissed me again, tantalizingly pulling his lips along my skin, across my neck then down to my shoulder.
Then fuck me again, I thought. And again, and again.
I was still dazed, but grateful he couldn’t read my mind. Around Sean I felt like a sex vixen, not a mother, and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
“Let’s get you washed up.”
Sean poured soap onto a sponge and began scrubbing it gently over my body, washing me with tenderness. The soft circles of soap were washed away in the stream of water. I hadn’t felt that cherished in a long time… if ever.
“I’m sorry for keeping you quiet. While I’d love to hear my name on your lips when you come, I don’t think you’d want the kids to hear.”
“Thank you. At least one of us was thinking.”
“Barely. You’re a wildcat.”
I giggled. Did I really just giggle? And did he call me a wildcat?
“I can’t believe we just did that.”
“Why? It’s not the first time. And I assure you it won’t be the last.”
As I imagined the many other times I’d hoped we’d be like this, together without doubts about our past, present, and future, I knew I had a real life to get back to. A real life with a ton of questions I still needed answered about the man I seemed so willing to have sex with. I wasn’t sure how Sean managed to seduce me so quickly, but I really liked it. Whatever secrets he held onto, I knew I had plenty of my own as well, so who was I to judge?
“Where did you go again?” Sean asked as he finished scrubbing my back.
“It’s hard to let go.”
“So, what’s on your mind?”
“You. This. How quickly you managed to get to me.”
“Every time I look at you, it doesn’t feel like it’s quick enough. If I had my way, I’d have you naked with me all the time.”
“That’s a dream.”
“One that was almost real at the nudist resort.” He laughed.
I guess he was right about that one. We’d seen each other naked more in Hawaii than we had since we’d reunited over three weeks ago.
“Let’s get those clothes dried up, and then we’ll have a chance to talk. I have a feeling you want to ask me something.”
At least he was willing to talk. “Okay.”
After the shower, Sean gave me one of his t-shirts and some sweat pants, then popped my wet clothes into the dryer. I rolled the top rim of his pants over a few times so that they would hold over my hips. The smell of him, on me, all the time, was like a fantasy coming true.
Lily sat at the kitchen counter, flipping through a women’s health magazine. For the first time since I’d gotten there, I wondered about Sean’s absent father. Up until then I’d assumed he lived with them as well, but I had yet to see him. Outside, rain poured and thunder rolled across the darkened skies. The house was quiet as if no kids lived there, and I looked around for Parker. Lily, smart woman that she was, fortunately answered my unspoken question.
“They’re in the game room playing arcades.”
“Oh, I imagine Parker’s in heaven, then.”
“I’m pretty sure he said something about moving in.”
From the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of Sean’s smile.
“Has he been behaving? I’m sorry we… I mean, I took so long in the shower.”
“It’s not a problem, sweetheart. I understand what being a single parent is like. Sometimes you need time to yourself, and you don’t even know it until you have it.”
I guessed that Sean’s father wasn’t present in his life; or maybe he wasn’t even alive.
“Thank you for making us feel so welcome.”
“It’s my pleasure. There’s food in the warming drawer. I’ll go check in on the kids. You two better fill those empty stomachs. I don’t want to see any leftovers.”
Just as Lily left, Sean’s phone vibrated on the kitchen counter. He checked the message and frowned.
“Is everything all right?”
“No, but let’s eat first. I can’t concentrate on an empty stomach.”
I helped him
set up the dinner, and we both sat at the counter eating in silence. The awkward moment was broken when an unforgiving burp escaped from my mouth.
My hand flew up to cover my lips. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? It’s normal.”
“But not polite.”
“I’d rather you feel comfortable around me and just be you.”
I took a sip of my wine and leaned back in the chair. “Okay, well, the usual me would have been much more inquisitive than the current me.”
“And why aren’t you?”
“I’m not sure. I think I trust you too much.”
“There’s no such thing as trusting too much. Come on, ask me a question.”
“And I’ll get an honest answer?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not a teacher, are you?”
“No, I’m not.”
Chapter 12
April
“Shit! I knew it!”
She shot off her chair and paced across the kitchen, from the sliding door and back to the counter. Why had I ever thought she would be calm and understanding about the lie? Maybe because deep inside I knew that she was a smart woman. If we could only work together, maybe I wouldn’t have to be so afraid for her and for us.
“April, please. Let me explain. For what it’s worth, I know I’m not the only one hiding things.”
She stopped, and her head shot up. Our gazes connected. From that one look, I knew I’d hit the bull’s eye; and she knew she’d just given away that I was right. She had secrets, and they were possibly bigger than mine.
“What am I hiding? That’s big coming from a man who’s pretending to be my son’s teacher. Who the hell are you?”
Why did she have to look so cute when she was angry? Her nose shriveled up, her lips thinned, her cheeks bunched up, and her lips puckered. Abso-fucking-lutely-adorable.
“April, I don’t choose my jobs. They choose me. And I’m grateful as fuck that this one chose me because I got to meet you. What happened between us was real. And whatever the future holds, I don’t want you to doubt it.”
“As real as your teaching career?”
There was that undeserving stab in my chest I’d been expecting. I stood up and took three steps toward her. Her body ceased trembling as I got closer and seemed to turn into a stone statue. I was afraid if I touched her she’d crumble. I lowered my hands to her hips, gently pulling her toward me. While she still seemed on high guard, she slowly thawed at my touch.
I brushed my thumb over her lips, and she closed her eyes.
Come on. Give into me. Trust me.
“No, as real as the air we breathe. It may not be tangible, but we know it’s there and we need it to survive. I need you to survive.”
It would take my greatest effort to pull this off. I needed her to trust me because despite what my job required me to do to her, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. April was right to have her walls built up to the sky. Her instinct to stay away from me was spot on, and if she knew the full truth, she’d run as fast as she could. But things had changed since I met her. For the first time in my life, I would fail at the task I’d been assigned, and I didn’t care. I was willing to deal with the repercussions. I wasn’t yet too sure how, but it didn’t matter. What was important now was April and Parker’s safety. For now, they were fine; but it wouldn’t take too long for someone to check up on me. Was the guy in the green shirt at the zoo the one? My job was definitely becoming more complicated by the minute, and April’s guard wasn’t helping. It would take a lot of strength to break through it.
“Don’t give me that crap, Sean. I don’t know what it is, but you want something else, don’t you? Why else would you pretend to be a teacher?” Her forehead creased, and I knew more trouble would come out of her tempestuous mouth. Yet all I could concentrate on was how majestic it would be to press her against the glass door behind her and make her come.
“Oh, my God! Did you seek me out in Hawaii?” She pulled away from my grasp. The loss of her body heat was too abrupt. I knew April had better intuition than many professionals I worked with, but I had hoped I’d be able to gain her trust before I had to tell her the truth.
“Yes, I knew you were going to be in Hawaii.”
“How? Why?”
“I was hired to find you.”
Her hand covered her stomach. April looked like she had been stabbed in the heart.
“I think I’m going to throw up.”
As her knees gave way underneath her, I caught her by her elbows and helped her down to a chair, and then rushed to get water. Sweat was running down her forehead and chest as she took a few sips.
“I didn’t plan to sleep with you in Hawaii, but when I saw you on that beach, things just changed. You were completely different than I’d expected, and all my plans to finish the job I was hired to do crumbled.”
“What exactly were you hired to do?”
“Interrogate you, among others.”
“I don’t remember too many questions in your room.”
At least her sense of humor was still there. Could I even hope that she’d listen to me?
“And then make you vanish.”
“Jesus!” She moved away from me.
“Look, you have to trust me.”
“You’re a fucking assassin, aren’t you?”
“Shh, April. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t trust you. Do you really think I would hurt you?”
“You kill people?”
“I get rid of them. Make them vanish.”
“What does that mean?”
“There’s a lot to my job that I can’t tell you, but you need to trust me when I tell you that what I do is for the better. I go where the law can’t go. I bring justice to those who can’t get it through the system.”
“I had sex with you.” The look of disgust on her face pierced my heart.
“And you will again.”
“You’re sick. I have to leave.”
Okay, this was getting ridiculous. Unless April let me tell her everything, I had zero chance of turning this conversation around. I grabbed her by both her wrists. She tried to wriggle out of my grip, and when she opened her mouth to scream, I seized her lips with mine, forcing her back against the patio door, pinning her between the glass and my body, needing to bring our connection back. If there was one thing I knew could get through to her, it was convincing her that what happened between us was real. I forced my tongue deeper, searching for hers, calming her with gentler strokes, reassuring her with everything I had to trust me. Her arguments into my mouth soon turned into moans of delight and her rigid body softened, giving into me.
Good girl.
While I wanted her this way, in my arms the entire night, I knew we couldn’t. I couldn’t screw this up again. I’d lost one woman that way, and I wouldn’t allow it to happen again. For once, I would do this the right way. I pulled away and leaned my forehead against hers.
“Give me a few hours, and I promise you that you’ll trust me.” I paused, calculating my next words. In a state of high with adrenaline rushing through my veins, I usually let my mouth have its own way. “I wanted you since the moment I saw you. I still want you. All the time. But I need answers.”
“You need answers?” She let out a forced laugh.
Don’t screw this up, you ass-wipe!
“I think I’m the one who needs answers. What were you going to interrogate me about?”
“Your husband’s death.”
She froze. Her face paled. I let go of her arms, and she grabbed the glass of water off the side table. She downed it in a few long sips.
“It was ruled a suicide. I did not shoot him.”
“I know. I saw the court papers. What happened that day?”
“Look, I… I already went through this with the police. I did not kill him. He committed suicide. I was set free.”
“I’m not trying to blame you.”
“Who do you work for, Sean?
What is it that you want?”
“What I want at the end of this is you.”
“I barely know you. Right now everything inside me is telling me to stay away from you, but I have a feeling that would be an impossible task.”
I could see the lie in her eyes before she even spoke it. There was no way her instinct would tell her to keep away from me. If it was someone else, then yes, they should have kept their distance. But this was April, and no matter what my job entailed, I vowed to keep her safe – no matter what she’d done.
“You know more about me than people who have claimed to be my best friends. You’re the first woman since Charlie I ever imagined a longer relationship with. Once I get the information I need, we’ll be able to forget all this crap I was hired to do and concentrate on us. Actually, strike that. I already want to concentrate on us. Even if it means I need to drop this case.”
“I’m a case? Whose? This is getting out of hand by the minute.”
“Okay, just close those damned perfect lips before I have to close them with my mouth again, so that I can tell you everything.”
Her mouth opened a little, though when I lifted my brow, she closed it.
“If there is anything you believe about me, know that your safety is my priority. I’d never do anything to hurt you or Parker, and I will do everything to protect you. But I need to know the truth.”
“Protect me from who? What truth?”
I gave her one look, and she shrank back in her seat.
“There was a man following us at the zoo. I didn’t want to say anything before, but I have to now. ”
Fear flashed in her eyes, and my instinct told me that she had more secrets I wasn’t aware of.
“It’s possible that someone else is looking for you. And if they are, then they’re probably seeking the same thing my employer is: the fifty million dollars that was claimed after Simon’s death two months ago.”
“What?”
“About six months before Simon died, there was a life insurance policy set up. It had a special suicide clause that would only pay out two years after death. It’s rare for an insurance company to do that, but with enough money, anything is insurable. The companies examine and scrutinize the insured to verify they’re not in financial troubles or planning a suicide just so that their family can have their debts paid off.” I paused, waiting for the information to sink in. “Any other form of death would have paid out immediately. So if he got sick, you would have received the money within a few weeks. For suicides, as a precaution, they set the payment in the future. As far as I know, you never had any problem with money, and from the papers your marriage seemed to be a happy one. Your dead husband was approved. April, was there trouble between the two of you?”