Maybe her head just hurt.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The hike back to the castle seemed to take way longer than the walk to the lake. They stuck with the trail because of Bryan’s insistence on moving quickly. Finn had seemingly come to some conclusion that Bethany wouldn’t attack them as a group. Beth didn’t point out that three hardly counted as a group, and that Bethany constantly had surprise and unpredictability on her side. Also, needless to say, Bethany seemed far more powerful than any of them — or even all of them combined.
As the castle finally came into sight, Beth realized that the boys had been correct, and they’d made it back without further snatchings or visits by Bethany. However, the comfort she felt at the sight of the tower was short lived. It was obvious just by looking that their parents hadn’t returned yet.
The tension that had eased from Bryan’s shoulders returned too quickly, and Beth gathered that he had been unable to establish a connection with Theo through their bond. She didn’t even bother to attempt to mind speak with her adoptive mother; she could barely manage it when they were in the same room.
The closer they got to Hollyburn, and especially after they passed through the outer wards, the edgier Finn grew. He kept muttering about Rose and Calla being near, but then seemed unable to track them. Something was blocking him, or “dispersing their presence,” he said. He’d never encountered such an obstacle before.
As they unlatched the gate of the unguarded back wall that corralled the sheep and goats, Bryan picked up his pace and soon pulled ahead of Beth and Finn. Beth was exhausted and starving; she had no idea where Bryan found the extra energy. She stumbled, and Finn caught her lightly by the elbow. He released her when she straightened and continued onward, but with each footfall, it started to feel like her boots were packed with stones. She had that feeling, the one she always got when she tried to run in a dream or a nightmare, of not being able to move any closer to the castle no matter how many steps she took.
She could feel the panic that Bethany had released in the clearing starting to rise up and compress her chest again. She was returning to the castle with two fewer siblings than she’d left with, and she’d lost an honored guest as well. Theo was never going to forgive her. She felt like turning around and running back into the forest or finding someplace to hide, someplace safe and small and —
“Beth. You all right?” Finn asked, and she realized that she was just standing in the middle of the field. Snow was starting to fall, just lightly. The sun was low in the sky, only a few hours away from setting. The panic was just in her head.
“Maybe this is all a dream. Or the work of a mind mage?” she whispered, thinking that if she said it out loud, if she acknowledged the idea, that the spell would break.
“Mind mages don’t affect me,” Finn responded.
“Someone as powerful as my grandmother or Theo?”
“Who could be as powerful as them and not be known to us all? And that’s pretty powerful to suck us all into an alternate reality like this. It’s not the work of a mind mage. She’s not a mind mage.”
“What if it’s all in my head, just my dream?”
“Well, first, I’d be pretty happy you’re dreaming of me at all …” He grinned down at her. She could see his smile out of the corner of her eye, but how he could joke now, with his sister and everyone missing, Beth didn’t know. Still, she felt more of the panic abate. “Second, look around. Look at the edges of the fence, the sheep, the hills of snow, our footprints, even the castle. Is anything hazy or blurred around the edges? Breathe in the air. Does it really feel like a dream constructed by someone else?”
Finn was right. The air was crisp, and even stung a little going into her lungs when Beth breathed deeply. The castle was sharply defined against the sky and mountain backdrop. She didn’t have any experience with dreamwalkers, who were specialized mind mages who could invade and manipulate people’s thoughts in a dream state, except that Uncle Dougal supposedly had one on his staff. But what Finn said made sense.
She sighed. “It’s more terrible if it’s not a dream.”
“I know,” Finn said grimly. Then he started for the castle once again.
Bryan, way ahead of them, hopped over the fence that divided the field from the castle yards, not bothering with the gate that led toward the stables, even though a stable boy in the exercise yard raised his hand in greeting. Beth was pretty sure she’d never seen her brother not check in on the horses before.
After a few steps, she started to follow Finn once again. Her boots still felt heavy, but she took that just as a sign of exhaustion. The more steps she took, the closer the castle got, so the impossible distance had been an illusion. She just hoped that someone was going to come up with a brilliant plan, because she had no idea what to do next.
∞
Bryan’s brilliant plan, which he informed her of while rooting through the drawers of the desk in the library, seemed to hinge on the idea of locking Beth in her room under guard, while he went to find their parents. Beth didn’t see the point of locks or guards, especially in her case, but Bryan was determined to be unreasonable, and seemed to think that limiting Bethany’s contact with her was the best way forward.
Finn remained silent on the subject, but in general, he didn’t seem to share his opinions unless asked directly. Normally, Beth would have liked that about him, but now it was annoying to be pitted against Bryan with no one to back her up.
Tired of only being told only what Bryan wanted her to know, Beth finally snapped, “What are you looking for?”
“A tracking stone, something I once saw Grandmother use to find Mom. Maybe it will amplify my connection to the Spirit Binder. I doubt it’s here though, it’s probably in the tower, unless the Apex still keeps it.”
“I can get it from the tower.”
“No.”
She stared at Bryan in such utter frustration that she could feel the tension in the ache of her jaw. He was just so stubborn, so sure of himself and his abilities. “If you had just called her before, Bryan. We — “
“You didn’t call her,” Bryan snapped back, though he didn’t look up. He kept digging through the desk.
“I can’t. Not the way you —”
“I’m tired of that excuse, Beth. Either you are one of us or …”
“Or what?”
“Never mind.”
“Maybe you should just say it, Bryan. That I’m not as powerful or good or perfect like you —”
“This isn’t helping.” Finn didn’t bother to shout, his curt voice was enough to interrupt their emotional downward spiral.
“Seeing as Bethany seems unable to open the door,” Bryan said, smoothly switching the subject back to his brilliant plan. “I’m going to pull the guard off the tower, we need more —”
“She’s after all of you, not me!” Beth was yelling now. “It’s a game. She’s just trying to figure out what will break me. So you’re next.”
“You will not give her the blood sword,” Bryan said, but he didn’t bother to look up from ransacking the desk.
“She has a valid reason why she needs it.” Beth’s statement caused Bryan to look up at her sharply. She immediately glanced away, only to find Finn also watching her. She couldn’t read the tracker’s face, but Bryan was definitely not happy with her.
“What you think you know, or how you know it, is not the point.” Bryan spoke slowly, as if she were a child. “You only use a weapon for one reason, and that weapon in particular is … evil.”
“A weapon can’t be good or evil —”
“This one is, trust me.”
“She’s coming for you next.” Beth whispered in order to soften the edge of fear she knew was creeping into her voice.
“You will not give her the sword. I want you to swear, Beth.”
“Shall I open a vein at the same time?” She dramatically held out her wrist, though not the one that bore Theo’s mark.
Finn, who’d been paci
ng by the library window, turned back toward her and Bryan. “No one is swearing any blood oaths here.”
“Of course not,” Bryan snapped. “Beth is being extreme to throw me off, thinking I won’t notice she hasn’t promised as requested.”
“Bethany is enamored of you, Bryan,” Beth said. “You should have seen her face in the forest when you called my name … you mean everything to her.”
The room suddenly felt very closed and terribly intimate. The candles and the fire threw soft light around the room, the high, full bookshelves looming in the shadows. Beth felt like she was admitting something of herself, something she’d kept hidden for so long, even though she was clearly speaking of her older self.
Bryan was staring at her, which made her realize that he’d spent a lot of time not looking at her lately. Then he closed the drawer he’d been looking through and crossed to stand before her. She looked up at him. He was close enough that she had to crane her neck to make eye contact. She found herself annoyed by his height.
She could see Finn out of the corner of her eye, staring at them. She spent a lot of time keeping the warrior in her peripheral vision. Keeping track of him, she told herself, because he was unpredictable and she liked to know what was happening when and where at any given time. She was lying to herself, of course. But she was becoming more and more comfortable with that.
Bryan reached up and brushed some of the hair away from Beth’s right eye. The touch startled her. She had avoided mirrors since returning to the castle, but there was no denying the feeling of short hair. Her head was cold, especially at the back. The front now consisted of spiky bangs that kept poking her in the eye. Calla’s magic repaired the burn damage, but couldn’t restore the length of the hair that was lost.
Bryan’s hand was warm as he rested it on her shoulder. When he sighed, she knew he had a lot of thoughts in his head but nothing to say. He was trying to enforce the connection between them so she’d agree with him and follow his instructions. He didn’t use any compulsion, which was good because she probably wouldn’t have forgiven him for it. But still, Beth felt a little bit more compliant. She hated that weakness — not that she’d known it to be a weakness before — that made her so naturally want to defer to Bryan.
Her brother finally articulated his thoughts. “If she does take me, you will guard the sword with your life if that’s what it takes. You will wait for Mom.”
“Because Theo can fix anything.” This came out far more sarcastic than Beth had intended, so maybe she wasn’t feeling as cooperative as she’d thought.
“There is little she cannot do.”
“If you’re already dead, there’s little she can do to save you. If all of you are dead, the blood will be on my hands.”
“No, Beth. Blood will only be on your hands if you give Bethany the sword. And you underestimate the Spirit Binder, as you always do.”
“I won’t watch you die.” Unwanted tears choked in Beth’s throat, and she tried to ignore them.
“You just said she was enamored with me —”
“With her version of you.”
“If she really is walking through time, as she claims, she cannot hurt me, for fear she’ll hurt her version of me.”
“That might no longer be an issue for her.”
“Why? Because I’m dead? Is that her valid reason?”
Bryan didn’t miss much. He wasn’t a mind mage, but he could sense things such as base emotions. Beth pulled away from his hand on her shoulder and turned away from him. He let her go.
Beth slumped in one of the reading chairs by the fire and stared at the floor. She refused to actually think about anything. Bryan returned to the desk to continue searching through the drawers. She was glad he’d let her drop the subject, but was pretty sure it would only be a momentary reprieve.
Finn went back to pacing by the bookshelves off to one side of the fireplace. He held Rose’s brush in one hand and was muttering to himself. He was still trying to track Rose and Calla, with no success. They were all overtired, and maybe that was affecting Finn’s magic.
Bryan gave up searching through the desk. “It doesn’t matter what the future holds, Beth,” Bryan said. He ran his hand through his hair, as he stared out the windows. The sun was almost setting now. She knew he wouldn’t drop the subject for long. “It only matters what we do now,” he continued, crossing around the desk to stand by her chair. She didn’t look at him. “I’m going to find Mom and Dad. I can use the bond once I’m close enough to feel Mom. You’ll stay here with Finn and guard the sword.”
“You are not going anywhere without me.”
“I’ll take the Beast. No one will catch me.”
The Beast, Hugh’s gigantic horse, was actually some sort of magical creature. Many tales were told of Hugh and Theo escaping armies — and Beth’s grandmother — on the Beast’s back. Supposedly, once mounted, nothing could stop the Beast and its rider.
“What if the sword means more to her than you do?”
“Only you can get the sword. As long as that’s true, then it doesn’t matter what she does.” And then as if the subject was closed, Bryan strode forcefully toward the door.
Beth surged up out of her seat, all traces of exhaustion gone. She was going to lose him, too. “Bryan —” Her voice cracked, and she couldn’t continue beyond the emotion choked in her throat.
Bryan swiftly returned, and wrapping his hand behind Beth’s head, he fiercely pressed a kiss to her forehead.
She clutched at his shirt and choked out, “I love you, brother.”
“We will get them back, Beth. Just don’t think you can outsmart her, or that Finn can beat her. She’s at the height of her powers. Just wait, Beth. Promise me you’ll wait for Mom.”
“I promise I will wait,” she whispered, and he kissed her forehead again, though tenderly this time.
“I love you too, sister.”
Then he turned and strode out through the doors of the library.
∞
Beth ended up following Bryan out into the hall like some sort of forlorn puppy. But when she turned to follow him through to the kitchens — she was thinking of making him a snack — Theo’s carpet tripped her. She hadn’t consciously stepped on it or anything. It was in the doorway of the library, so where else would she step? But it deliberately curled one edge and tripped her.
She almost fell face first onto the stone floor, but Finn caught her by the back of the sweater before she hit. She hung there, suspended and hovering over the carpet and floor for a moment, until Finn heaved her back onto her feet. She stumbled back against his chest but kept her balance.
“The carpet tripped me!”
Bryan looked back over his shoulder and shook his head at her.
“It deliberately tripped me!” she called after her brother, but he just ignored her and turned toward the kitchens.
“It’s a carpet,” Finn said. Beth was less than pleased with the amusement she heard in his voice.
“It’s always hated me.” She stomped on the carpet a few times in retribution and then stepped off. It just lay there. Finn raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s faking now.”
“I think maybe you need some sleep.” That was an understatement, but it also didn’t have anything to do with the carpet. Beth held her chin high and continued toward the kitchens.
She grabbed a small saddle sack and quickly put together some food for Bryan. She included some of the cookies she’d baked the day before, though only a few were left. Finn grabbed the last two, and she tried to not grin at the happy noises he made while munching on them. He was probably just doing it to get a reaction from her, but honestly, she was a little thrilled that he even wanted her to react to him.
She grabbed an apple and a water skin, then quickly headed out to the stables. She didn’t want Bryan taking off without supplies, and he was right — once he was mounted on the Beast, nothing could stop him. Finn followed.
Outside, it had continued lightly snowin
g, though it was just barely cold enough to do so. Still, Beth should have grabbed a jacket. Bryan’s tracks were easily visible.
With the sun just set, the warm glow from the stables beckoned once again. Beth didn’t like the idea of Bryan traveling in the dark, even though her fears were probably unfounded. She hustled through the snow toward the open stable doors.
She’d kept her eyes low. She often watched the ground so as to not trip, but this time she was just trying to keep the snow out of her eyes — so when she heard Finn softly curse and draw his sword, she didn’t immediately see what he saw.
She looked up.
She looked into the stables.
Bryan was kissing someone. Bryan was kissing her. He had his hand wrapped around her head, buried in her hair, had his lips pressed against her lips, except … she was outside in the snow.
She felt the wave of compulsion, Bryan’s compulsion, hit her so hard that she couldn’t move another inch forward.
Finn brushed by her in a blur as he ran toward the stables. Snow puffed up from each of his footfalls. He held his unsheathed sword at the ready.
Bryan was kissing Bethany, not her.
How and why Bryan was kissing Bethany was something Beth couldn’t quite wrap her head around. He was standing outside the Beast’s stall. The Beast was straining his neck over his gate as if to bite Bethany. The horse’s eyes were wild.
Finn was halfway between her and Bryan now.
Bethany broke the kiss and laughed — a soft laugh, Beth was surprised she even heard — while she gazed up at Bryan. The older woman didn’t seem to feel the compulsion that wrapped itself around Beth and was trying to push her away from the stables. Bryan smiled in a way Beth had never seen, he smiled down at Bethany, as if he truly loved her —
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