by ML Nystrom
Betsey’s voice broke as she shared about Mute, just as much her son as Blue. The fierceness of this woman for her family was amazing.
“He’s been here ever since. Mute’s one of the most loyal brothers in the club. He loves long and he loves hard and he loves complete, but he don’t love easy. I always said when he falls, it will only be once, and the woman that finally gets him will have his total devotion. He’ll spend every minute of the rest of his life to give her the world and make her happy. I ain’t never seen him like this with any other woman, Kat. That Maya girl messed with his head and his heart, but he never felt for her what he feels for you. I think he’s fallen and fallen all the way. I think you have too, but please have a care with my boy.”
I couldn’t help myself. I got up and hugged her.
“No matter what he says or does, Kat, he’s a good man,” she whispered. “Please give him a chance.”
I didn’t get a chance to reply, as the kitchen was suddenly filled with more hungry kids’ mouths.
“Lord have mercy, children! Stop acting like a pack of wolves and get in a line! There’s plenty for everyone.” Betsey barked out orders like an army drill sergeant, and I laughed at them snapping straight and lining up. She so lied. She would make more casseroles if they were needed.
Chapter 13
I spent the rest of the day puttering around the lodge, helping to entertain the kids and controlling the mess that so many people inevitably left no matter how neat they tried to be. Mackie was having a ball, telling more war stories and playing with the kids. They tried to teach him how to work the video game controls, but with one hand it was pretty hard. One of the older kids held it down on a table while Mackie worked the multidirection buttons like a joystick. His neck twitched, but his hand barely trembled. They were playing the ever-popular racing game Mario Kart, and the main room was filled with kids screaming encouragement and Mackie’s creative cursing.
“Dagnabbit! Get back on the road you sh— turkey-head! Son of a b—ah, broccoli eater!”
Betsey and I prepped and put out trays of cold cuts, breads, raw veggies, and a big bowl of chips. People just helped themselves when they wanted something.
The club men wandered in and out. There was another church meeting in the late afternoon. Mute came in just before it started, seeking me out first and enveloping me in his heavy, warm embrace before tromping upstairs.
“You hungry? I’ll fix you a sandwich if you want?” I muttered from within his tight hold, my own arms circling his waist.
He shook his head and flipped his fingers.
“Later.”
Later meant much later. The sun made its way over the horizon, and most of the families retired to cabins for one more night, as so many people felt safer staying here for the time being. Mackie wandered off to his room, obviously exhausted from the day but glowing with happiness. This soft lockdown situation, despite the reason, was good for him. One of the kids had dubbed him “Big Daddy Mack,” and he declared someone had to get him a sweatshirt with his new moniker on it.
I went back to Mute’s room and stripped, putting on one of Mute’s worn black tees. I curled up on the bed and took out my laptop with the intention of getting some studying done. I had one more week until my final semester started, and I was set to do more hours at the hospital. The head nurse was already saying I would have a full-time job when I graduated if I could keep up my GPA, and the new internship would have some paid hours as well. Since moving in with Mackie had cut my expenses down to practically nothing, the loss of the bar job wouldn’t affect me too much financially, but I didn’t know how it would affect Betsey and the club. Brick seemed to have things in hand though, and the overall feeling I got from both of them was that the club was good with money and it would survive.
I ended up falling asleep, and woke up when the door opened. Through bleary eyes, I looked up to see Mute standing in the doorway. No, it wasn’t Mute, it was Alec. I could tell by the way he gazed at me. His look was softer and more intimate than when he was Mute.
He also looked uncertain, like something was weighing heavily on him. He had a sheaf of yellow legal pad papers in his hand. He handed them to me, and went into the bathroom, taking off his shirt as he went and tossing it toward the chair. I heard the shower turn on.
The sheaf of papers was indeed torn from a legal pad, a handwritten letter from Mute.
Dear Kat,
I wrote this today for you. I hope when you read it you really know what I’m trying to say. I am scared that when you know me more, you will leave but I hope you dont. I still have to be honnest with you. You are the kind of woman who needs that and I feel I have to be that way for you.
I’m not a good man. I’ve done bad things and I’ve hurt people. I’m not a smart man. I only finished high school, mostly because Betsey and Brick made me. I’m an alcoholik. I grew up with one and became one. I dont do those meetings you hear about. I just don’t drink anymore. You already seen what happens when I do. I know bikes and bars and I know how to enforce. I dont date. I dont do flowers or candy or romantic dinners or walks on the beach in the moonlight or shit like that. I dont know how. What I do know is you get what you see. Nothing else. My needs are simple and I like it like that. I been on this earth for thirty-six years and I dont mean to change.
I done tried to stay away from you. I done tried to ignore you. I done tried to make you feel bad. I done tried every which way I can think of to push you away, but I cant no more. I know you think your invisible cause you said so. I seen you try to stay out of the light but yours shines too bright. When I’m with you I want to be that guy. The one who does the flowers and that other shit. I want to do more than bikes and bars and enforce. You make me feel things I got no right to feel or want. You make me into the man I should be. I dont feel this way about other women. Just you.
I want you to be in my arms when we wake up in the morning. I want to feel you beside me when we go to bed at night. I want you to ride behind me on my bike. I want to see you spread wide in my bed for me. I want you to wear my patch that your my old lady and I’m your old man just like Betsey and Brick. I’m not a good man. I dont know what love is or how it is supposed to feel. I thought I did once before but its not like it is now. I cant say it out lowd to you even if I could talk but if you can find your way to being my old lady, I’ll give you all of me. Everything I am for every minute of the rest of your life.
Mute was still in the shower when I finished his letter. The grammar was rough, the spelling was creative, and punctuation was only hinted at. It must have taken him hours to write based on the amount of crossed-out lines and rewrites. Still, it was perfect.
I got out of the bed and took off the tee I was wearing and threw it on top of the one Mute had thrown on the chair earlier. I dropped my panties at the bathroom door, and walked into the steamy room. Mute was under the spray, hot water streaming down his magnificent body. He watched me as I opened the shower door and came to him. His arms came up and he crushed me fiercely into his slick body. I wrapped my arms around him as far and tight as I could. We stood like that for what seemed like a long time, just holding on to each other, keeping close enough to meld together into one person. I could feel his heart pounding as if he’d run a race. Writing a letter like that, pouring out his feelings, was not in Mute’s nature, and the risk he took with me was monumental. For all his mass and badass persona, he was still able to be hurt, and only I had that power.
“I love you,” I whispered into his chest as I slid to my knees. The shower was becoming one of my favorite places. It didn’t matter how we went into it, we always came out clean.
I slid him into my mouth as far as I could take him, his musky taste rich on my tongue. I sucked at him, using my hand to stroke what my mouth couldn’t. He leaned back with a groan and let me pleasure him at my own pace. His fingers ran through my wet hair as my head bobbed between his legs. He pulled at me, but I was determined to stay where I was, and when he
came, I swallowed everything he gave me.
Later, when we were dry and in bed, he curled around me, holding me in the shelter of his body. He really didn’t have to say the words, even if he could out loud. I could hear it in my head.
“I love you too.”
Chapter 14
I headed into the Lair, intending only to get the club ready for the members’ arrival later that afternoon. The text Mute had sent was for the emergency lockdown to get solid that night, and now that I knew what that meant, I needed to help get it ready for the mass of people that would be coming soon. The building was eerily silent, and even in the daylight, it felt creepy. It wasn’t very often that the lodge was empty, but with all the members either working, running escorts for errands, or chasing leads on these mystery dealers, it wasn’t surprising. Betsey and Tambre were gathering children’s stuff and other bits. Molly was spending her time at the sheriff’s office, both for work and for information. The Lair was supposed to be the most secure of all the club holdings, but I was still glad to have Mackie with me.
“I’m gonna settle over here and see if I can catch a game or three,” he grunted. He was having one of his good days, but still the stress of all that was happening showed on his craggy face.
“No problem, Mackie. Want anything? I need to take stock of the kitchen as well as the booze and text Betsey before she finishes up at Costco. Brick thinks it’s gonna be another full weekend, and you know how Betsey is.”
Mackie let out a half groan, half laugh as he plonked himself on one of the plush couches.
“Yep, I do. She’ll have a right nice hissy fit if there ain’t enough toilet paper. I tell ya, roomie, I cain’t wait until Mute or whoever catches them sumbitches. I’m gettin’ tired of them messin’ with my people. Grab me a couple cold ones before you start doing stuff, would ya?”
“What’ll it be?” I grinned at our inside joke.
“Mix ‘em!” he declared, laughing again and clicking the big TV to ESPN.
I brought him the first two cold bottles my hands hit from the cooler, kissed his grizzled cheek, and went to the back storage rooms to count toilet paper rolls and take stock of other needs.
I was halfway through the second set of shelves when I heard an angry yell and thump. My first thought was Mackie was cursing at the TV, but then I heard high-pitched laughter, and my heart stopped. I ran down the hallway into the main room and froze in horror. Mackie was laid out on the floor, blood streaming from a cut on his head. Joker was standing over him, laughing and dancing around. Box was with him, a baseball bat in his hand.
I cried out, and not even considering the danger I was in, I rushed to Mackie’s side, automatically feeling for a pulse and checking his other vitals.
Joker stopped laughing.
“Well, well, well! Lookie here, Box. I thought we would find the queen, but instead we got the pussy!” he said in his singsong voice.
“What have you done?” I yelled, putting what pressure I dared on Mackie’s head wound. They tended to bleed a lot anyway, but a blow from a baseball bat could be fatal, especially to someone with Mackie’s condition.
“Supposed to get the queen,” Box said confusedly. “Queen’s supposed to be here.” He’d never impressed me with his powerful brain.
Joker giggled. “Nope. No queen today, but this is still good! We got the newest club princess, Mute’s ol’ lady. We’ll take her instead, it will still have the same effect, but better for me!”
He jerked my head back by my hair, and I cried out from the pain.
“I’m gonna fuck Mute’s little Pussy Kat. I’m gonna fuck it raw and when I’m done, I’m gonna hand it over to the rest of the gang to fuck. When they get done, I’m gonna fuck its ass!”
Box scratched his head and a small shower of dandruff floated to his shoulders. “But I thought Prez wanted the queen?”
Joker’s hand tightened in my hair. He was clearly irritated with Box’s dim mind. I whimpered, but he didn’t loosen his grip.
“Prez don’t know a thing about this, you moron! This was my idea! My call to make. Betsey-the-queen would’ve been good, but this one is better. I get to make the Dragons suffer, but especially that dumb freak, Mute! Taking his woman will just about kill the bastard!” He chortled gleefully.
I looked at Mackie, still out on the floor. The blood flow had slowed, but not stopped completely. “Please, Joker! Let me take care of Mackie. He’s sick and he needs help.”
Joker giggled. That’s right, he giggled in a high-pitched horror movie voice. “Aww! Ain’t that sweet, Box? The pussy Kat wants to play nursie-nursie to a dried up old man. Sorry, bitch! Ain’t happening!”
“Why are you doing this? These men are your brothers!” I gasped in a desperate attempt to reason with him.
“Brothers? You stupid cunt! These assholes were never brothers of mine! They betrayed my father! Now they are going to pay!”
I had only a moment before a fist came flying at my face, and then I knew nothing.
Chapter 15
Mute pushed the skinny man up against the rough wall of the alley and tried hard not to breathe in the toxic fumes he was panting. His eyes were wild, pupils dilated from the poison he’d put in his body. It was easy to tell his preference by the nasty color of his gums and blackening teeth. Brick and Dodge, a newly patched-in member, watched as Mute held the panicked meth head.
“Where did you get it and who sold it to you?” Brick intoned, his voice going wintery.
The man squeaked. “I ain’t got nothing! Lemme go!”
Brick got even colder. “I asked you a question. Where did you get it and who sold it to you?”
“I don’t got it now! You guys testing me? I paid!”
Brick went to below freezing. “I’ll ask one last time and I better have an answer. Where did you get it and who sold it to you?”
“I don’t know his name, man! It was the one with the green hair! If you guys got stiffed it was him! Not me!”
Brick blinked, his hard face getting harder. “What do you mean, green hair?”
The guy with the green mohawk, man! He’s the one with the shit! I gave the money to him.”
All three Dragon Runners froze as the temperature dropped suddenly. Mute’s eyes all but glittered with barely contained rage. Dodge looked to Brick, his mouth tight.
Brick stared at the junkie, his voice went low and icy. “Are you telling me you bought that crap from a guy wearing a Dragon Runner cut?”
“Yeah, man!” The addict’s eyes darted around dizzyingly. “The dude with the green hair. He was with some other guy. Different logo, you know, but they was hangin’ out. I heard’em talk about blowin’ up a building an’ they was laughin’ bout it. Said they had a plan. I paid ‘em what they asked for! I didn’t stiff ya!”
Dodge spoke in shock. “Joker’s a traitor.”
Brick’s voice went arctic. “What did the other sign look like?”
“Huh?”
Brick lost all patience and roared. “What did the sign look like!”
The junkie squeaked and tried to shrink into the wall. “It was kinda like yours but had a weird-lookin’ horse’s head.”
Dodge inhaled sharply. “It’s the Dead Horsemen, all right. I understand they been wantin’ to take over the Tail for decades. This is them trying again and getting dirty about it by putting drugs in our town. That’s the one thing they know would start a war. Leaves one club in charge and one club dead.”
His phone rang, and he paused to answer it.
Mute ground his teeth, itching to smash something. It was mind shattering. Despite the differences he had with Joker, the thought of the smiling, laughing man, always sure of his welcome into the Lair, coming among those he called brothers only to betray them in the worst possible way, was more than he could stand. His hand clenched around the junkie’s throat, wanting desperately to crush it. The man squeaked again at the sudden pressure, and clawed at the thick fingers surrounding his thin neck.
Mute felt the rage build in him. His beautiful Kat. His old lady. Someone touched her. Someone hurt her. Someone hurt Mackie. He couldn’t contain it. He jerked the struggling man from the wall and hurled him to the ground. He stood, his head back, fists raised and clenched tight. His mouth opened and a blast roared from his mangled throat, inhuman and demonic in its power.
Dodge took several steps back, his eyes wide with sudden fear.
Brick was silent as Mute let loose, the terrible cry echoing around them. The stillness of the club president’s stance was even more terrifying than Mute’s white-hot rage. Something was uncoiling, readying to strike. The laughing man who played Santa Claus for children not too long ago was gone. When he spoke, icicles formed from his words. “We know who did it and why. Only one choice now since they came into our house like that. Rules say we gotta take a vote, but we already know what it’s gonna be. Lockdown’s back on. Find the boys. All of them. Tell them the Dragon’s awake and going hunting.”
Chapter 16
I woke up slowly and painfully to loud music and shouting. My face throbbed where Joker had hit me. I was bound and gagged, and lying on a worn-out couch that smelled of sour sweat and other things I didn’t want to think about. My throat was burning with the desire to vomit. Don’t move. Don’t breathe, stay invisible. I pulled my familiar cloak around me, and glanced around without alerting anyone I was awake. I took in as much as my limited view would allow.