by Rinelle Grey
Now everyone was frowning at him.
Hayrian folded his arms and practically glared at Damrian. “Yeah, we already know you’re the reason we haven’t seen her in four years. Why should we give you another chance to mess it up?”
Damrian winced. Well, he could hardly deny that, could he?
“I’ll fix it, all right? Just give me a chance.”
Chapter 3
Zara glanced towards the door as someone walked in, then sighed when she realised it wasn’t Damien. The butterflies in her stomach had settled while she was checking out her new hut, having a shower, and catching up with her dad, but they were back in full force now.
She wanted to see Damien. Wanted to get all this sorted out so they could get back to being friends. At the same time, she dreaded the conversation she knew they had to have.
She was still half afraid that he’d say he cared about her. That he wanted them to be together.
She still didn’t know how to react if he did.
Coming back here and seeing him again had made her realise how much she’d missed him. She’d been so busy with uni and her new life in the city that the loss had been masked. Seeing him again had made her realise how much she wanted him back in her life.
The trouble was, if he did suggest that they should try dating, she knew she had to say she couldn’t. Getting involved in a relationship now, especially with someone so far from where she lived, would be a big mistake. The next two years were going to be very important to her future career. She couldn’t afford to be distracted.
And yet, if he did ask, and she said no to the possibility, then their friendship was at stake again. Things were already awkward between them. A rejection could kill it just as surely.
If it hadn’t already.
Her stomach turned, setting all those butterflies aflutter again.
Maybe she should order her food? Having something to eat would settle her stomach and take her mind off what Damien was going to say. And it wasn’t like this was a date and she needed to wait for him. It was just a casual evening, two friends chatting. He could order when he turned up.
She’d just decided to go with that course of action when he arrived.
Zara couldn’t help staring.
Even though she’d seen him only a few hours earlier, something about him had changed. And it wasn’t that he was back to what he’d been when they were teenagers either.
His jeans were black and tight fitting, and the deep blue shirt seemed casual enough on the surface. But the way it clung to his body, showing off every muscle, left her short of breath. He had a quiet confidence that she didn’t remember being there before. Or maybe she’d just never noticed him quite like this.
Seeing him made her realise how hard it would be to say no. If she ignored the fact that he refused to leave Dragon Island, Damien was everything she could ever hope for in a boyfriend. Kind, caring, not to mention gorgeous.
Suddenly, the idea of knowing if this could lead somewhere was very appealing. What if there was a way they could make it work? If everything went well, then maybe she’d have more than one reason to be back here often. Zara stared at him, more tempted than she cared to admit.
Then she shook her head to clear it. This was Damien, her childhood friend. And this wasn’t a date.
Even if it looked like one to everyone present.
She wasn’t the only one staring at him. He’d turned more than a few heads, young women and old alike. But he walked past all of them, not even noticing. His eyes were fastened on her. The slight quirk of his lips into a smile was for her alone.
And it sent her heart pounding.
She felt special, like she was the only woman in the room.
Suddenly she could remember that kiss in every exquisite detail, from the way it had made her breath catch, all the way down to where it had made her toes curl, and how it had heated everything in between. The vividness of the memory, and how much she’d enjoyed it, caught her by surprise.
She’d suppressed all that emotion after she’d left, too afraid to admit that she’d felt anything at all. She’d had to, otherwise she would have abandoned her degree, and run straight back here to be with him.
So she’d told herself it was an isolated incident, and if she’d felt anything like that for Damien, she would have noticed it earlier. That they’d been friends for a long time, without any hint of romance. She was not going to risk that friendship, not to mention everything she’d planned for herself, simply because she’d…
What? Developed an overwhelming attraction to him?
No, she certainly wasn’t going to risk everything for that. She’d already decided that.
So she tried to make her smile as friendly and non-lover like as she could as he came over to the table where she sat.
“Hey.” His voice was warm, friendly.
Just as it had always been.
It helped Zara push away the attraction and focus on this. On their friendship. That was sensible and safe.
She waved him to the seat opposite her. “I was just about to order. The usual?”
Damien nodded as he slid into the seat opposite her. “Sounds good.”
Zara waved to a waiter and gave the order she’d given here a thousand times before. The familiar action settled her and almost made her feel like she belonged here again. Like the last four years away had been a dream.
Like that kiss had never happened.
Zara bit back a sigh. Why couldn’t she stop thinking about it?
As the waiter disappeared, Damien’s eyes grew serious. “Look, Zar, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I know I messed up. Tell me what I have to do to make it right, and I’ll do it. I’ve missed you so much, and I don’t want to lose you again.”
His words left her speechless.
Yes, Damien had said they needed to talk, that was why they were here. But she’d thought they’d eat first. Make some small talk, dance around the issue a bit.
Maybe even avoid it altogether.
But there it was, out in the open, shimmering like a wall between them. A wall she wasn’t sure how to break down. She could see the other side clearly, she just didn’t know how to get there.
If she told him all they had to do was pretend it never happened, as she should have years ago, then it would be over, wouldn’t it? Done. They wouldn’t have to discuss this ever again, and they could get back to being the comfortable, happy friends they’d always been.
But Zara wasn’t sure it would be that easy. Doubts kept popping up in her mind, getting in the way of their friendship, and making everything rough and scratchy.
“Why did you do it?” she asked softly, then held her breath, wondering if he would admit the real reason. Afraid he would.
Damien shrugged, his posture stiff and uncomfortable. “I don’t know. I didn’t… I didn’t plan to, it just… happened.”
That didn’t really answer her question, but then again, she hadn’t asked the one she really wanted answered.
Had he really meant it, or had it just been about convincing her to stay?
And the reason she hadn’t asked it was that the answer had the potential to change everything. If he’d used that against her, to try to change her plans in life, then she wasn’t sure she could forgive him. Especially not when she’d been so tempted.
But he wouldn’t have done that, would he? Damien wouldn’t do something like that to her.
She had to know, and there was only one way to find out.
“Were you just trying to convince me to stay? That’s what you said you were doing.” Her voice sounded accusing, but she couldn’t help it. She’d been wondering this for four years now. She held her breath, not sure if she could handle his answer.
For a moment, Damien looked confused, then his face cleared. “Is that what you thought? No, I wouldn’t do that. I’ll admit, I wouldn’t have objected if you had stayed, but I didn’t really believe you would. And I knew going to uni was important fo
r you. I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that.”
The relief Zara felt at his words was almost overwhelming. Tears pricked at the back of her eyelids, and she didn’t trust herself to speak without bursting into tears. She took a few deep breaths and managed to force the tears back. “Good, because that would have been just mean.” She gave a laugh that she wasn’t sure wasn’t half a sob.
“What, and running off without me was kind and sweet?” Damien teased, but his voice hitched a little too.
When Zara stared into his deep blue eyes, they were a little misty as well.
“I did tell you to come with me,” she reminded him. But it didn’t completely remove the guilt that swamped her. Not for leaving him, she’d had to do that, but for not trying to fix things earlier. If only she’d talked to him four years ago, they could have resolved this then.
She felt guilty for doubting him. He’d always been her best friend. He wouldn’t betray her like that. How could she have even thought it?
“I’m sorry, Dam,” she said softly. “I shouldn’t have stayed away for so long. I just… I got scared, that’s all. But I don’t want to go back to not talking. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” Damien said softly. “And I’m glad you’re back.”
They were most of the way there. Now things were out in the open, Zara felt like they just might be able to get back to normal.
“So what do we do now? How do we get past this and stop it being…?” She waved her hand, words deserting her.
“Weird? Uncomfortable?” Damien heaved a frustrated sigh. “Why? Why does it have to be so uncomfortable? It wasn’t like we slept together. It was just a kiss. It meant nothing, and it was four years ago. Can’t we just pretend it never happened?”
That would be the easy way out, and Zara was tempted. It would mean she could return to uni in a few weeks, and continue on as before, while being able to catch up with Damien more frequently. That was what she wanted.
If the kiss had meant nothing, it should be easy to ignore, right?
But even though Damien had removed her greatest fear, ignoring that kiss still wasn’t that simple. And she wasn’t quite sure why.
Then the answer hit her like a blinding flash. She knew why she was skirting around this issue. And why she didn’t want to discuss it.
A kiss between them shouldn’t mean nothing. It should never have happened if it didn’t mean anything.
Surely he wouldn’t have done it, if he hadn’t meant something by it.
“If you weren’t trying to stop me leaving, then why did you do it?” she asked again.
Damien shrugged, looking helpless. “I don’t know. Hell, Zara. I was nineteen. Hormones were running crazy, and you were my best friend. It seemed… like a natural evolution. Yes, I should have thought more before I did it. I should never have done it, but it happened. I can’t go back and change it. And I won’t let this ruin our friendship. I won’t let you just leave again without resolving this.”
There was more force and passion behind his words than Zara had heard from him before and, for a moment, she was taken aback.
Whatever his reasons, she couldn’t fault his determination to fix things. That was the Damien she knew—he never gave up once he set his mind on something. And that made her all the more certain that he wouldn’t do something like that to her. It had been a mistake. One he was determined to fix.
She couldn’t help giving a smile. “Well, if you’re prepared to fight for this…”
Damien stared at her for a moment, and then he smiled too. “You bet I’m prepared to fight for you, Zar. You’re my best friend. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
His words warmed her heart and pushed aside a little of the weirdness. Made her a little more certain she could trust him.
“And what if I say no?” she asked, her voice teasing.
“Then if our friendship is gone, I say we try a relationship. There’s nothing to lose, right?”
His eyes were dark and intense, and he stared at Zara hungrily, as though half-hoping that was the answer she was going to give. They hinted at the real reason he’d kissed her, that answer far more believable than the one he’d given.
His expression took her breath away, and for a few seconds, she was tempted to tell him it was over, just to see where this went.
Then all the reasons she couldn’t flooded her mind, and her good sense reasserted itself.
She wasn’t ready for this. Not right now. She had too many other things to do. It was better that they just stay friends. That she could manage.
That was the ideal outcome.
“There’s no point in risking what we have on something that might fall apart,” she said firmly. “I’m sorry for teasing you, Dam. Our friendship is important to me, and I don’t want to lose you. If you say the kiss meant nothing, then I say let’s forget it ever happened and go back to the way things were.”
Did she see a flash of regret in his eyes? She knew she felt one in the pit of her belly. But it was a bittersweet disappointment. And somewhere, in the back of her mind, she couldn’t help wondering if she was letting go of the possibility far too easily.
But when Damien reached out across the table and squeezed her hand, she knew she’d made the right choice. “I’m glad, Zar.” This time, there was nothing weird about his words, or the gesture. It felt right. Natural.
Zara heaved a sigh of relief.
Somehow, they’d done it. The lingering doubts would fade, and she could go back to just enjoying this friendship, to knowing it would always be there, and Damien would be someone she could rely on.
The waiter arrived with their crunchy chips and battered fish, and Damien let go of her hand, so there was room for the plates.
Zara nibbled on a chip, but they were too hot to eat without burning her mouth.
The interruption had broken the mood enough though, the awkwardness had faded into the background. It wasn’t completely gone, that would take time, but she could ignore it.
“So, what’s new around here?” she asked him, needing something light to settle her mind.
He smiled. “Well, we have some new jet skis. They’re faster than the old ones and far more maneuverable. We’re building a new wing on the north side of the island, Mum’s planning a more private retreat section, more peace and quiet and zen and stuff. It won’t be completed for another six months though. And,” he leaned forwards and whispered conspiratorially, “Ben and Kate are engaged.”
Zara couldn’t help but grin at that. She and Damien had always been sure that Ben, the gardener, and Kate, who ran the Fins and Ships, were having a secret affair. It looked like they were right. “When’s the wedding? Is it going to be here?”
“Of course,” Damien said with a grin. “As if we’d let them have it anywhere else. It’s in a month. Maybe you’ll still be around?” He raised an eyebrow, his expression hopeful.
Zara had already planned to be here a few more weeks, stretching it to a month wasn’t too difficult, but for some reason, she hesitated over admitting it. Their conversation seemed to have cleared the air, but she couldn’t bring herself to commit to staying for any particular length of time right now.
“We’ll see,” she said evasively.
Anyway, how long she stayed also hinged on whether she could find any evidence that might support her thesis topic. If she could, well, maybe she’d be here a lot more than a few weeks.
That thought led to thoughts of what being here longer might mean, and she quickly shut them down. She couldn’t afford to let her mind go in that direction right now. She needed to focus on her work. She wasn’t just here to play, she had a goal. And she might as well start now. Damien spent a lot of time in the water around the island, maybe he’d seen something?
“So, have you seen anything interesting in the water lately? Dolphins? Maybe any interesting fish?” She tried to keep her voice casual, but she watched his face closely.
If
she’d seen something, surely, he must have? He spent a lot more time in the water than she did.
But he just looked confused by the change of topic. “There are usually some dolphins, and plenty of fish on the reef. I don’t know as much about them as you—probably wouldn’t recognise a strange one if I saw one. Why?”
His question was frank, and Zara hesitated. If he’d seen the creature she was talking about, even he would have realised it was odd?
“Well, before I left for uni, I thought I saw…something strange. A…really large…fish.”
Damien quirked an eyebrow. “A really large fish?” he teased. “Four years at university, and the best you can come up with is a really large fish?”
Annoyance at his teasing, at his not taking her admission seriously burbled up in her chest. This was just why she hadn’t told him. She’d known he’d make fun of her. He didn’t take her career plans seriously at all.
Then the words hit home. She had to admit, if anyone had come up to her and described something they’d seen as ‘a really large fish’, she would have been raising an eyebrow at them too.
She gave an unwilling laugh. “Okay, I admit, that was a lousy description, but…well…” She stared at him, wondering if he would think she was crazy if she told him the truth. Would he believe she’d seen a mermaid? The very idea was so fantastical, she wasn’t sure if she believed it herself.
If she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes…
“What did you see?” Damien’s words were quiet, his gaze intense.
It would be so easy to lose herself in his eyes. So easy to tell him. He’d believe her, wouldn’t he?
“I saw… I thought I saw… No, I did see…a mermaid.”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she winced, sure he’d laugh. And she wouldn’t blame him. She would have done the same thing if the situation were reversed.
But he didn’t. His expression didn’t even change. He nodded slowly. “Well, considering what’s been in the news lately, that doesn’t seem quite so impossible as it might have a few weeks ago.”