by Kira Blakely
My parents were the first ones to walk through the reception doors with a stream of guests behind them. They approached the table with anxious expressions before Emily and Dean could make it to the table.
It was my father who voiced his disapproval. “Did you know that Jude Jacobs was going to be here?”
“I knew that he was invited,” I said, uncomfortable. “I didn’t think he was going to show up. None of us thought he would.”
“He shouldn’t be here in the first place. That boy is too cocky, coming back here.”
“Don’t make this about him,” my mother scolded, placing a hand on his arm. “This isn’t about Jude. This is Emily and Dean’s wedding. Don’t let that young man ruin everyone’s good time, Mark.”
I looked up at my father as his jaw clenched. “Mom’s right, Dad. We all need to put on some happy faces for Emily and Dean. No one needs to go throwing punches at Jude.”
“The bastard deserves it after what happened with your brother,” Dad choked.
“Mark. This is not the proper time to talk about Andy.”
“Memory Lane is closed,” I added sternly. Emily and Dean were crossing through the reception doors. “Just avoid him the best you can. That’s what I plan on doing.”
“I hope so, Ava,” Dad said. “Remember your brother.”
How could I not remember?
I forced a cheerful smile on my face when Emily took a seat next to me.
She didn’t waste any time, though, leaning in to whisper into my ear.
“I knew that JJ was going to cause a ruckus.”
“Don’t worry about him,” I said, forcing my voice to sound casual.
“What do I do if he comes up here to congratulate us?” Emily asked. “Ignore him? Dean insisted that JJ would be hurt if we didn’t invite him to the wedding, but I tried to tell him that he probably wouldn’t even notice if we got married. No one has seen him in years.”
“Yet half the town is in love with him,” I muttered, watching a group of people gather around Jude at the bar. “He didn’t even RVSP.”
“Hoping he wouldn’t show up?” Emily suggested. “Or that he would show up?”
“Maybe both,” I said honestly. “I don’t know what to think.”
Emily placed a hand on my forearm. “Don’t worry about it, Ava. I really doubt that JJ would come talk to you. Not after what happened with Andy. That’s the main reason why he left. We all know it.”
“I know, but he left for other reasons, too.”
“I still can’t believe that he’s a superstar,” Emily said. “All those stupid tricks of his back then. Who knew that it would make him millions of dollars?”
I swallowed thickly. “He proved every single one of us wrong. That’s for sure.”
“You really haven’t talked to him since Andy?” Emily asked curiously. “I mean, the two of you were hot and heavy. You said that you and he went all the way.”
“No need to hash out all the memories,” I said, clearing my throat. Just thinking of it made my body thrum. From the few rumors that I’d heard over the years, Jude’s reputation as a womanizer had been well-earned. “We aren’t here to talk about Jude. This is your wedding day, Emily. I’m not going to focus on him. This is all about you.”
Emily beamed at me. “
This is why you are my maid of honor. You’re never selfish. You never make anything about yourself.”
“I thought it was because we’re good friends,” I replied, laughing. “I’m glad to be here. I couldn’t imagine being in New York right now, knowing that my childhood best friend is marrying her Prince Charming. Who happened to be my friend, too.”
Everyone took a seat around the various tables in anticipation for toasts and dinner. I couldn’t help it. I found myself scanning the room to find which table Jude had settled himself at. I found him seated between a few cousins of Dean’s. They were wrapped up in what appeared to be a serious conversation as Jude cradled a glass of whiskey in his hands. He looked up at me suddenly. A seductive grin tugged at his lips when our eyes clashed together. The past and the future combined, all in one moment of time. It felt too stuffy and hot in the restaurant.
Look away, Ava. Look away. Don’t fall for it.
I couldn’t resist the tug, though. I need a shot of alcohol to get through this night.
Scooting my chair back, I left the main table and headed over to the small bar to order a shot of rum to burn my nerves away. The small local band took their place on the stage in the corner of the restaurant to play a sultry jazz number that had everyone in the room getting out of their seats to sway on the dance floor. I looked back at the main table where Emily and Dean sat with their heads bent together, whispering something to one another.
At least their love had survived past that summer and the many after that. Emily had stayed behind with Dean while the both of them immersed themselves in the Gypsum community. I had done the same thing that Jude had done—found my one-way ticket out of this shithole of a town. It was the only way that I could escape the last summer of hot days and happiness.
“Hello, Ava.”
Time had certainly not changed the gentle rumble of Jude’s voice, or how it flowed over me in a warm wave. I sucked in a deep breath to control the frantic pounding of my heart because I should’ve known better. There was no way in hell that Jude would leave me alone at the wedding reception. He’d rather take his chances in trying to talk to me than watch me from afar.
He couldn’t resist a good risk.
Chapter 3
Jude
The muscles in Ava’s slender neck stiffened at the sound of my voice. She turned slowly to look up at me with one hand clutching the end of the bar. Those cat-like green eyes were shielded when they looked up to meet mine. Standing this close after all this time was having a heavier effect on my brain than the few shots of alcohol I had taken before the reception. She smelled of vanilla. Her collarbone shimmered with glitter when she shifted beneath the dim lights. Her lips pouted slightly as she looked me up and down, and her eyes hooded with… disdain? Or was it desire?
“Jude,” she said tightly. “How are you?”
Always the polite one. “I’ve been great. Just been working, as you probably know.”
“Not really.”
Nerves twisted in the pit of my stomach. When it came to certain people in Gypsum, they were easy to deal with. I could stare anyone down. I could deal with a few angry stares without even giving a shit. Ava was different, though. I couldn’t take back that summer, no matter how much I wanted to. I still remembered the cold look in Ava’s eyes, full of grief and anger, when she had told me I’d go straight to hell if I ever died on a motorbike. “It would be karma,” she’d said.
I didn’t know how to interpret the look in Ava’s eyes at the present. I fell back on what had worked in the past—being cocky.
“You look beautiful by the way,” I said smoothly. “That dress suits you perfectly. You’ve got some killer curves now.”
Ava arched an eyebrow. “As opposed to never having them?”
“That’s not what I meant. You just look different is all I’m saying. Different in a good way.”
“Right. Thanks, I guess.”
I leaned on the bar with one hand. “So, you’ve probably heard that I’m a famous motocross star now. Remember when you doubted I would ever make it?”
“That wasn’t just me thinking that. The entire city of Gypsum thought it.”
“Joke’s on all of you, then,” I remarked sarcastically. The local band started up another fast-paced song. “Do you want to dance?”
“I’m not drunk enough to dance,” Ava said.
“I can fix that,” I said, despite her protests. “Two shots on me, please. What? You’re telling me that Ava James doesn’t get drunk every once and a while?”
Ava shot a nervous look over her shoulder. “Not with my parents around usually. I’m surprised they haven’t come over here yet to kick your as
s for talking to me.”
The bartender set two shot glasses down in front of us. I picked up mine with an indifferent shrug. “They left a little while ago. Your father already threatened to kick my ass if I tried talking to you.”
“You deserve to get your ass kicked,” Ava said, picking up her shot glass. “This cocky superstar attitude isn’t going to get you anywhere. You realize that, right?”
“Are you a psychologist now?” I frowned at her. “I thought you were some sort of writer or whatever in the big NYC.”
The look on Ava’s face darkened, then. She set her shot glass back down on the bar.
“Look, if you’re going to act like an ass, JJ—” I winced at the acid on my nickname. “Then go run your game on someone else. There are plenty of girls here who still think you are some sort of god. I’m not one of them.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I know that you don’t think I am. I’m just—” I stopped as nerves crashed over me again. This was the woman I had once thought I was going to marry right out of high school. She had made me feel wanted, cared for. Even loved. I had taken a huge shit on that.
Hot guilt trickled through me for the first time since riding into Gypsum. Out of everyone in Gypsum, I only cared about Ava’s opinion. I didn’t blame her for not seeing me in the best light, either. Things had unraveled fast after that summer. She refused to speak to me, and I had given her the space to grieve with the blind hope that things would get better again. It was the only thing that I could think to do because I couldn’t stand to see that devastated look in her eyes. Because of Andy. Because of me.
The rest of the women I had encountered over the years since leaving Gypsum soaked up my harsh attitude, but Ava hated it. She was clearly not impressed with the person I had made myself out to be for the past few years.
Ava sat down on the barstool to present her back to me. The gesture stung deeper than I wanted to admit.
“I’m sorry,” I finished lamely. “I really am, Ava.”
“I’m sure you are,” she said.
“I know how empty it is, but you gotta know that I really am glad to see you again. When my manager told me about the wedding, I knew you were going to be here because of Emily. I told him that I had to come here to Gypsum because I wanted the chance to see you again.”
Her back stiffened. So did her voice. “To see me again?”
“Yes,” I said. “To see you. I only wanted a chance to tell you how sorry I really am for what happened. I didn’t want things to go the way they did, but I thought I was giving you what you wanted at the time.”
“I didn’t know what I wanted at the time, Jude. I was only seventeen.”
“I was only seventeen, too,” I said. “I didn’t know shit back then on how to handle what we went through.”
I grasped my shot glass and tossed it back. I savored the burn of alcohol in the back of my throat as it rushed to calm my unsteady nerves. Ava fingered the side of her still full shot glass before she slowly twisted back around on her bar stool. Tears were glittering in her eyes as she looked up at me.
“I just wanted you to be there,” she said. “That was all that I wanted, Jude. You should’ve been there for me.”
“I regret it every single day,” I assured her, pointing one finger to punctuate each word. “You have to know that I’m not heartless. I still can’t sleep right after all these years.”
“No one can.” Ava glanced across the dance floor to where Dean and Emily were dancing together with large grins on their faces. “At least those two ended up happily ever after. They made it through everything.”
“I’m happy for them,” I said, and I genuinely was happy to see Dean happy. “I know that Emily didn’t want me to come, for obvious reasons, but I still appreciated the invite when I got it in the mail.”
“We were surprised to see you here,” Ava said. “We all bet on whether you would show up.”
“Who’s the asshole now?”
“You,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “Make no mistake. We all know who the bigger asshole is.”
She slipped back to lean on the bar with her elbows. The little shift of body made the tops of her breasts pop. I found my eyes lingering there hungrily, but I couldn’t let myself act on those feelings. Yet.
“I’m a freelance journalist now,” she said. “In case you were ever going to ask.”
“Impressive,” I said. “It’s not surprising, though. You always loved English a bit too much.”
“I live in New York now, too,” Ava continued, swiping up her shot glass to down it easily. “It pays the bills at least. I’ve had a couple of places publish my pieces. I’m aiming for the New York Press.”
“That’s a fancy place to write for. You’d be able to do it.” I motioned at the bartender for another round of shots. “Two more on me.”
“Water,” Ava corrected, a pink flush filling her cheeks. “I think you’re trying to get me drunk for some reason.”
“Never,” I said with obvious mock offense, which earned a small giggle in return. “Remember the one party we went to that summer?”
Ava pulled a disgusted face at that. “I try to forget that summer as much as I possibly can. That’s the party where I went crazy, right?”
“Crazy in a good way,” I murmured, leaning in to whisper into her ear. “It’s okay to get a bit crazy sometimes.”
That night had been amazing. The both of us had fallen into some sort of laundry room where Ava had pulled me into one of the most passionate kisses ever. We had been skirting that flirty line for a long time, until I thought I would go blue all over. That night had been a prelude to an even hotter summer.
My body ached to continue that summer. The blood in my body drained to one particular organ that throbbed and ached for a good release. An amazing release.
Goosebumps appeared over the sensitive patch of skin underneath Ava’s ear. A shudder rippled through her as she reached out to grab her water with a trembling hand.
“It won’t be good for me to lose control,” she said shakily. “Don’t kid yourself, Jude. I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“We’ll see how the night goes,” I said confidently. “Come on. Let’s dance before this band gets tired.”
Ava set her water down with a shake of her head. “No, Jude. I—”
“No excuses,” I said, and reached out to grasp her soft hand in my own. The feeling of her small and delicate hand in mine filled my head with tempting thoughts. “This is a celebration. You don’t want people to think we are making amends if we are over here, talking all alone near the bar.”
“They’d think we are by dancing,” Ava pointed out, following me reluctantly on the dance floor. “I can’t do this, Jude. You know that—”
I tugged her into the circle of my arms. She clicked her mouth shut in response, while a fire flickered to life in her eyes. I took her hand and extended it to the side. My free hand rested on her hip. I could feel her move seamlessly beneath my fingers as she followed my lead without hesitation. It felt good to have her in my arms again after all this time. The deep and endless hole in my heart could never be filled, no matter how hard I tried to fill it with money, women, alcohol, and drugs. With Ava, it felt filled again.
Maybe it was pent-up frustration over the past few years. Maybe it was the fact that I was drunk on having Ava in my arms. I didn’t know which one it was, but I couldn’t resist leaning in to press a kiss against those magenta-colored lips. They looked so full and soft.
An electric shock went through me. She tasted sweet, like alcohol and something else that I couldn’t put my finger on. Ava’s lips moved underneath mine to kiss me back before she pulled away with a startled gasp. Her eyes were wide with horror as she slipped from my grasp.
“Don’t do that,” Ava hissed, reaching up to touch her lips. “You can’t just come back here like everything is normal and kiss me.”
“Ava.”
She turned sharply on the heel of h
er shoe before making her way through a stunned crowd of people. I glared at them when they all turned to look at me. Then I stalked back over to the bar to order another shot.
“JJ?”
Dean approached from where he had left Emily with the group of bridesmaids. They were also looking over at me with frowns. Except for one bridesmaid. Marcie Keller, I remembered. She had wanted to hook up one summer, and apparently, that sentiment hadn’t changed, judging by the smile she sent in my direction.
“What?” I asked. “Good party, by the way. Plenty of booze here.”
Dean gave me a piercing look. “Look, man. I invited you here because you always had my back in high school. I don’t think you mean to hurt people—”
“That seems to be the consensus,” I muttered, swiping up the shot glass from the bartender.
“But this is Ava that we’re talking about,” Dean said. “She’s a good friend to Emily and me. Don’t go there because I might have to kick your ass.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m going to be out of here, first thing Monday morning. Temptation gone.” I patted him on the shoulder roughly. “Go back. Enjoy your new wife. This is about you and Emily. Not about Ava and me.”
Chapter 4
Ava
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Mrs. Parks,” I said, exasperated. “I can’t be Jude Jacobs’ English tutor for the summer. Can’t someone else do it?”
Mrs. Parks looked up from the list of names she had been checking off for the end of summer tutors. I had volunteered at the beginning of the school year for good references and college experience. If I would’ve known that Mrs. Parks, my favorite teacher, planned on handing me over to Jude Jacobs to talk about Wuthering Heights… I couldn’t even finish the thought without a grimace.