by Kira Blakely
Chapter 7
Jude
It was pure instinct to reach out and grab Ava by the waist as she toppled into me with a surprised gasp. We fell back against the bed with our legs dangling off the edge. The bus corrected a split second later. The sensation of Ava’s body beneath mine was more than enough to drive me wild with lust. Her chest heaved against mine as she braced herself against me, while trying to squirm away with wide eyes.
Why couldn’t she just give in? Why did she have to be so damn stubborn about every damn thing when it came to us?
I’d had plenty of women in this bed over the past couple of years. None of them felt right beneath me. Not like it felt when Ava clutched at my forearms as if she was trying to hold herself steady, or to push away from me. She didn’t know which one to do.
And at the moment, I didn’t care if kissing Ava right now would risk her fighting back against me, like she had been. I had nothing to lose.
I adjusted my weight to my elbows so that I could drape between her legs easily.
“Jude,” she started, gasping. “Don’t. Don’t even think about it.”
I crushed my lips against hers in a searing kiss that I felt deep inside of me. I kissed her madly, pouring every ounce of my tumultuous emotion into it. She tasted of minty Chapstick against the tip of my tongue as I slid it through the seam of her lips. I expected the tension in her body to build. I expected her to push me away like she did at the wedding reception.
Instead, Ava’s hands shot up and tangled in my hair, kissing me back with just as much aggression. Her tongue tangled hotly against mine while she arched up into me with a throaty moan that instantly set my blood on fire. I carved a hand through the soft locks of her hair while letting my other trace the curves that I longed to memorize. I felt hot, suffocated by own my desires and tightening skin. My cock was straining against the fabric of my boxers as I ground myself against another seam of hers, letting out a guttural groan.
She fought me with each kiss. Her fingers tugged hard at the back of my neck and hair, just as hard as my fingers were in hers. I didn’t care that Chuck was a few feet away, completely unaware of what was going on. I was going to bury myself deep inside of Ava without hesitation.
I tore my lips away to sit up on my knees and reach for the hemline of her blouse. I pulled it up over her head to stare down at her perfectly toned stomach and ample breasts threatening to spill out of her bra. Her skin was flushed a pretty rose color as she laid there. I unclipped the front of her bra with a pounding heart.
I was so painfully aroused that I couldn’t even think straight. It felt too good. Way too good to stop, even though a rational part of my brain told me this wouldn’t be a good idea. Her breasts were perky and fuller than I remembered from that summer. Her light pink nipples were already hardened in arousal. I glanced up at Ava’s darkened eyes as she sucked in deep and frantic breaths. Not willing to give her the chance to regroup her thoughts, I dipped down to suck in a pink nipple between my lips.
Her reaction was instant. A sharp gasp left Ava’s lips while her back arched off the bed to push up against me, wanting even more. Her legs wound around my waist to pull me even closer. The tip of my cock pressed up against the fabric of those tight little capris pants she wore. I kneaded the liquid flesh of her breasts between my fingers while alternating kisses between the two of them.
I rubbed at her right hip sensually with my free hand before reaching for the button of her pants. Ava jerked beneath me as she propped herself up on her elbows. A war raged in her eyes as she looked down at me.
“Jude.”
She reached for my hand, but I batted it away impatiently. There was no way in hell I would let her back out now. Not when I was rock hard and aching to be with her. I slipped a hand down the front of her pants, despite her hand trying to pull it away. My fingers slipped down to the heat and slickness of her core. The sensation of it nearly had me ripping off her pants and my boxers. A shudder went through my body at the feeling of her around my fingers and my eyes rolled.
Ava’s head thumped back against the mattress in defeat. Her hips ground up against my hand while using my hips as a way to anchor herself against me. I found the bundle of nerves already throbbing with pleasure as I pressed the pad of my thumb against her. One of her hands cradled the back of my neck tightly as she stifled her moans with her other hand. Harder. Harder. I pressed harder because I wanted her to remember this peak. I wanted her to remember what it felt like to be with me. I wasn’t that shy boy that I had been back then. I knew my way around a woman’s body from years of experience.
Sweat gathered at her top lip. Her hips were jerking in time with my fingers, and I felt that sweet flesh start to pulsate with the beginning of an orgasm. Oh, yes. Fuck yes. I was going to make Ava come right here.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Hey, JJ.”
Cold water crashed over the both of us. My fingers stilled at the sound of Chuck’s voice on the other side of the door.
“We’re pulling up to a gas station to fill up,” Chuck said. “Just wondering if you and Ava need anything. Or if y’all want to get out, you know, stretch your legs.”
Damn it to hell, Chuck. You motherfucker.
Ava slapped her hands on my shoulders to push me back with surprising strength. She scrambled out from beneath me as she reached for her bra and shirt on the bed.
“Yes,” she squeaked out. “That would be great. I need some air and food.”
“Ava,” I started with a frustrated groan. “Come on. Don’t go.”
Ava shook her head at me with furious eyes. “You can’t just expect to kiss me and make everything between us peachy. It’s not ever going to be the same.”
“You can’t tell me that you don’t want me,” I growled and grabbed both her ankles.
I tugged her back down the mattress to grind myself against her again. I kept one eye trained on her expression to see if anything changed, and it did.
I watched as that tumult of desire to pull me close and to push me away warred over her. She went stiff beneath me.
“You can’t tell me that you don’t want this,” I whispered, rolling my hips against hers. I could feel how wet she was. The crotch of her pants slipped up and down over her skin. “Tell me that you don’t want me, and I’ll let you go. Tell me.”
Ava squeezed her eyes shut to hide her emotions. “You know how I feel about you. You’re not stupid, Jude.”
“You’re not stupid, either,” I said softly. I smoothed a hand through her hair. “Come on, Ava. It’s been years. I don’t know how many times I can say that I’m sorry.”
“That’s the thing, though,” she said and opened her eyes to gaze up at me. The bus came to a slow stop a few seconds later. “I do want you. Okay? But it won’t happen. It can’t happen.”
“Why, though?” I demanded hotly. “Why not?”
“Because I see my brother every single time I look at you.”
Those words cut straight through my heart. I didn’t even try to keep a grip on her as she slid out from beneath me to hurry out of the room. I sank down to the edge of the bed and felt the bus shift while they went into the gas station. I heard Chuck question gently if everything was okay but I couldn’t hear Ava’s terse response. It didn’t matter what I did anymore. I couldn’t fix what happened to Andy. I couldn’t mend the grief that tore Ava apart, but I couldn’t ignore the feelings I had for her, either. Andy knew how I felt about his sister. I had told him that summer after Ava and I had finally gone all the way for the first time.
“What’s going on with you and my sister?” Andy asked bluntly.
We were seated on the front porch of my house. Music thumped behind us in the living room. He had watched as Ava stopped halfway down the front porch steps to look back at me with a small and secretive smile that instantly made me want to follow her home. She had looped an arm through Emily’s before hurrying down the street to make curfew.
“Nothing,�
� I said, sipping my beer. “Why do you ask?”
Andy gave me a sharp look. “I’m not blind, man. I can see that the two of you are together. Why didn’t you tell me that you liked my sister?”
Not just liked. Loved. The word took me by surprise as I gazed over at the rest of the crew gathered around the front of the garage where our dirt bikes were at. Love. I loved Ava James, even though we were the complete opposite of one another. She softened my rough edges in the best ways. I wanted to spend most of my time curled up in her arms with her sweet kisses touching my lips.
“I don’t like her,” I said and looked back at Andy, who frowned at me. “I don’t know how to explain it, bro, but it’s not ‘like.’ It’s something deeper than that.”
“How deep?”
“Your sister is amazing. She’s beautiful. She’s smart. Do you want me to keep going?”
“I know all those traits,” Andy said. “You aren’t using her for sex, right?”
I shook my head at him. “No. Come on, man. I know what the bro code is here. I wouldn’t do that to Ava in the first place because you know too many secrets about me.”
A small grin tugged at Andy’s lips. “I suppose that I do.” Silence stretched between us before he turned to look back at me. “Just don’t break her heart, JJ. I don’t think my sister would be able to handle a broken heart.”
I rubbed at my head with a sigh. He was right. Ava could never come back from a broken heart, but I had time. I had plenty of time to figure this out because I needed Ava in my life. She kept me grounded then… and I prayed that she could ground me again.
Chapter 8
Ava
Chuck was dead on about the excitement. The large arena in Boston was filled to the brim. Every single seat was taken in the stands that surrounded the dirt track full of sharp twists and high piles of dirt for jumping. Seeing it all made my stomach churn nervously as I fiddled with my lanyard that had clearance to everything in the race—including Jude’s own room where he was getting suited up with his team.
I snapped a photo from where I stood at the entrance. The excitement in the air felt like charged electricity. I watched as Jude’s name was splayed out along the various screens throughout the arena, followed by a roar of cheers. There were cameras and sports commentators spread out along the bottom half of the arena seats.
“Hey.”
I jumped when someone touched my shoulder gently. “Shit, Chuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you come up on me like that.”
“Don’t sweat it,” Chuck said, chuckling. “It’s loud as fuck in here. You can’t hear a damn thing.”
“No kidding,” I said. “This is…”
“Amazing, right?” He scanned the arena with a smile. “There are a few locals from the surrounding area. It’s not just big names. JJ has made it a point to make sure start-up racers have a shot with him as well as big-timers.”
“Why is that?”
“Everyone deserves a shot, you know,” Chuck said. “A second chance. Second chances are what got JJ here. You know?”
“The second chance part I knew,” I said. “Who gave him the shot?”
“Another big-time racer who retired a year ago.” Chuck gave me a long and piercing look. “If it’s any consolation, your brother’s death changed how JJ did everything in his life.”
I tore my gaze away from the racetrack with a grim smile. “If it changed him, then I wouldn’t be standing here with you right now.”
I left Chuck standing there at the entrance while I went to my seat in a private booth away from the cameras and fans. It was only for teammates, managers, and close friends and family. I sat down at the very end with my notepad clutched tightly to my chest. The arena felt as though it was thrumming with its own special energy as the roar of dirt bikes started up. I sat on the edge of my seat as the first racer came up to the starting line to wait for the timer to count down. He roared ahead when the light went green, aiming toward the first hill for a jump.
The entire time, I held my breath as each racer progressed into something trickier and more dangerous. It wasn’t until Jude’s name was announced over the PA system that the entire arena stood up on their feet to cheer. Stuffing my fingers into my ears, I rose to my feet as well when Jude entered the track from the entrance down below. This was the first time I had seen him in person, dressed in his gear and helmet. He drove around the arena once, reaching up to slap hands with a few fans that were leaning down to high-five him.
He twisted back around to the starting line effortlessly. My heart pounded hard against my ribcage as I watched the counter tick down to zero, followed by the green light. Jude twisted down hard on the bike in the direction of the dirt hill. I watched breathlessly as he roared up the hill to launch himself and the bike into the air. The notepad slipped from my fingers as the dirt bike twisted around beneath him.
That trick. That damn fucking trick. Of all the things he had to do first.
Every inch of my body trembled with apprehension. I could barely breathe. It was impossible to know if the sound of my heart pounding furiously in my chest was louder than the fans screaming his name in the arena. I tried hard to fight it. I squeezed my eyes shut as Jude caught ahold of the bike to land it effortlessly before twisting around to head for another hill. The pit of my stomach felt sick with nerves.
I picked up my notepad from the dirty, sticky floor to head for the exit. The stadium vibrated with cheers and stomps as I jogged down the concrete steps to the entrance. I hurried out past a few other riders who were lined up for their turn. They were all standing at the entrance to watch Jude with awe-stricken expressions.
I managed to find the only door to the back of the arena down a quiet hallway. Pushing it open, I stepped out into the hot evening air to suck in deep breaths while I tried to calm down my racing heart. I should’ve known. I should’ve known that this was bound to happen after seeing Jude pull off those stupid stunts he used to do all the time in high school. These stunts were entirely different, though. These stunts were precise, but they could be fatal if Jude wasn’t able to handle them.
Tears filled my eyes as I collapsed to the ground with the arena thundering behind me. I dug my fingers into the ground hard to keep me grounded, to keep my mind from wandering back to that summer, but I was there again. I was there…
“Don’t be fucking stupid,” I cried, tugging on Andy’s arm. “Don’t do it, Andy. You know that you can’t do this trick.”
Andy pushed me away with a dark scowl. “Don’t tell me what I can’t do, Ava. You sound like Mom.”
A hot blast of wind blew around us. A large group of our classmates hung out along the makeshift track. The pit of my stomach twisted with dread as Andy pulled on his helmet and straddled his dirt bike.
“Andy,” I pleaded, looking over to where Jude was standing with the rest of his crew near the trailer. Their eyes were focused on us, but Jude didn’t approach. He wouldn’t approach, either. Not in front of everyone. Fury filled me as I looked back at Andy while he adjusted himself on the seat. “Don’t do this. Jude—”
“Why do you call him that?” Andy snapped. “Everyone calls him JJ. You call him Jude.”
“That’s his name,” I replied, resting a hand on his forearm. “Please. The both of you have been drinking. Don’t do this.”
“I can do it, Ava. Have some faith in me for once.”
I shrank back at that. “I do have faith in you. Why would you say that?”
“Because you’re always cheering on JJ. You’re never cheering for me.”
He revved the engine then. Dirt sprayed my shins as I stood there with tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Don’t be such an uptight baby about it,” one of Jude’s crew members called out. “No need to cry like that.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Jude snarled at them, approaching me. “Don’t talk to my girl like that.”
I leaned into Jude’s chest when he wrapped an arm about my shoulders. I couldn�
��t bear to watch as I heard Andy take off down the track. “Please, Jude. He’s drunk. He can’t do that trick. You and I both know it.”
“He can do it,” Jude said. “I know Andy. He’s a good rider.”
“But—”
“Here, watch this.” He twisted me around to watch as Andy steered the dirt bike up the hill to catch air. “He’ll twist the bike around, float, and then grab it. We’ve been practicing.”
I held my breath as Andy and the bike separated from one another. His legs were extended backward as though he was flying forward. Time slowed as Andy’s hand reached for the bike but gravity had already set in. The bike was falling away from him fast. Too fast. I prayed for Andy’s fingers to reach forward, to just grab the handle bars, but both were free falling to the ground.
Jude’s arm fell away from my shoulders. He was sprinting ahead of me, but it all seemed so slow when Andy thudded to the ground. His legs and arms flailed about as he rolled down the hill. The dirt bike tumbled down after him. Screams followed. Screeching and horrified screams that I realized were coming out of my own mouth as I ran after the rest of Jude’s crew.
That was when I caught sight of the blood trickling down Andy’s neck from inside his helmet. The dirt bike rested on his chest. I couldn’t look away, even if I wanted, as Jude slid the helmet off Andy’s head. His eyes were already closed while blood trickled out from the side of his mouth.
“Ava?”
I sucked in a wavering breath to control the sobs shuddering through me. Footsteps approached from behind. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I lifted my head from my knees to see Chuck standing in the doorway of the arena’s private exit. He looked down at me sympathetically while I tried to regain composure.
“I’m sure it’s tough being here,” he said. “I tried to tell JJ that it would be better if you stayed away, but he insisted that you come tonight.”
I rubbed at my eyes in frustration. I was done crying over what happened years ago. It didn’t bring Andy back.