by Amy Clapp
I'm still not sure why I acted how I did. Still unsure why I charged towards Kent and the other guys drinking. Maybe it was because a few months earlier, a guy that went to Jamie's school died of binge drinking. He was only seventeen. Maybe it was because Opa Gill had been killed by a drunk driver just the summer before. Although the drunk driver that killed Opa wasn't underage, that experience had made me a little sensitive to alcohol. Who was I kidding? It made me a lot sensitive to alcohol. Maybe it was anger and irritation that again the "cool" kids were pressuring everyone to do something they weren't supposed to do. They had pressured me before. I'd heard it many times. "Come on Jacey. One little drink won't hurt you." "Everyone else is doing it." "I guess your just not one of us, are you, Jacey."
Maybe it was all of those things or none of those things. I don't really remember. But, I do remember my rage. I left the group I was talking to and made my way towards Kent and the other guys. I vaguely remember Emma pulling on my arm and asking me where I was going. But in my anger, Emma's voice was muted. I walked up and stood right in front of him. Kent had said, "Hey, Jacey. You want a beer too, baby?" Seeing only red, I grabbed the beer from his hand and poured it all over his expensive Polo shirt. Unfortunately for him, it was a full beer.
At first, everyone was shocked by my seemingly unprovoked assault on Kent and his beer. No one moved. Then Kent became angry. "You bitch!" He had yelled at me, his face turning from white to red to purple. He shoved me as hard as he could. I fell backwards into the arms of some of his football friends who instinctively caught me to prevent my fall.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you crazy? You stupid bitch!" he kept screaming at me. His hands were balled into fists at his side.
The guys holding me awkwardly helped me stand. I just stared back at Kent, my own hands balled into fists at my side. "People die because of alcohol, but you don't care!" I yelled back. "All you care about is yourself!" I screamed into his face. We were practically nose to nose. I then remember doing the truly unthinkable. I spat in his face. Not just a little, but as much as I could gather in my mouth.
Gasps of horror and shock swept through the crowd that gathered around us as the spittle ran down his face. If Kent was angered by my assault on him and his beer, this sent him into a blind, unbridled rage the likes of which I had never seen before. Kent shoved me so hard that I landed on the ground with a thud. Thankfully, the soft sand helped break my fall so I wasn't hurt.
"I'm going to kill you!" Kent screamed at me his face red with anger. Little beads of sweat formed on his face. As he lunged for me, a blurred figure had plowed into his side, tackling him to the sand at my feet.
There were groans and muffled sounds as if someone was hitting a large piece of meat. I finally made out the mass of arms and legs rolling around in the sand. Jamie had tackled Kent to save me. And the two of them were fighting.
More punches and more groans. Jamie's friends lined up across from Kent's, poised to attack. The guys were all snarling and eager to fight, like two packs of wild dogs. I watched Kent and Jamie wrestling and fighting. I grimaced when I heard Jamie groan after Kent landed a punch. Kent's friends forgot me as I sat at their feet. They were too busy waiting for Jamie's friends to make a move to justify an all-out brawl.
I felt someone tugging on my arm, trying to drag me to my feet.
"Come on!" Emma desperately pleaded. "Let's get out of here!" She pulled harder and this time I responded by scrambling to my feet. As we ducked through the crowds and ran towards my car, I looked back to see Kent and Jamie still fighting.
"What about Jamie?" I asked, slowing.
"He's a big boy. Let's go!" Emma yelled, pulling my arm again and urging me towards the car.
We pulled away from the Dark Pier parking lot and I stole another glance toward the fight. You could no longer see the boys fighting because the crowd around them had grown pretty large. I groaned, sinking deep in my seat.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Emma nearly shrieked at me in her panicked state. Why did you do that?"
"I don't know," I groaned again, covering my face with my hands. I felt so bad for Jamie coming to my rescue yet again.
As Emma sped down the curving streets towards town, two police cars raced past us, lights flashing and sirens blaring.
"Oh, god!" I groaned again, and I sank even deeper into my seat.
We later discovered that Jamie had broken Kent's jaw during the fight. Jamie had received a black eye. Both had involvement with the courts. Nobody really forgot this incident I caused last spring. And as Jamie and I sat on the sand tonight, laughing hysterically, I knew everyone was thinking back to the scene I had made a year ago. Through the embarrassing silence, we looked at them and they stared at us.
Jamie broke the stillness. "It's okay everyone. Jacey just wants a beer and I don't have one to give her."
"Jamie!" I yelled at him, punching him in the shoulder again. Everyone stared back at us. Jamie started laughing again.
"Real funny, McMann," someone yelled sarcastically.
"You are such a weirdo, Jacey," someone else said.
I started laughing again with Jamie. Eventually, all the others went back to their conversations, ignoring us. Even the football game started back up again.
Our laughter died down to quiet chuckles and I settled back into Jamie's arms and chest. "You are so funny Jamie," I murmured. "You always take care of me."
Jamie wrapped his big arms around me tightly and kissed the top of my head. "Always," he responded. "Always."
And I knew he would. I was so comfortable in Jamie's arms, I almost completely forgot about him. Almost, but not quite.
-Six-
I watched the sunrise from my bedroom window. The morning sun turned the horizon soft hues of pink and orange as the night sky faded back toward the west. I watched as it peeked out from the horizon and slowly made its ascent into the sky. I sat up in bed, my blankets pooled around me, hugging my knees, marveling at the truly glorious sight. Birds began to chirp loudly outside my open window signaling to the world that it was time to wake.
Another terrfying dream had awakened me in the night. Even when I forced myself to lay back down, squeezing my eyes shut, I could not find sleep. So I gave up and just sat in bed watching the minutes click by on the clock next to my bed. I was anxious to call Jamie. He had asked to run with me the next time I went. I was hopeful that if we ran this morning, I might see the stranger again. A little pang of guilt stabbed at the corner of my heart. I was using Jamie, I knew, but I still believed in my theory; the more time spent outside, the more likely I would see him again. I took solace in the thought that Jamie wouldn't mind. He would just call the run "conditioning" for the football season anyway.
Anxiously, I watched my alarm clock all the while rubbing my pin between my hands. When the clock finally reached 6:00 a.m., I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Jamie's number. "Come on McMann...pick the phone up," I muttered to myself as his phone rang. When he didn't pick up, I dialed again. On the third attempt, a groggy Jamie answered.
"Hello?" Jamie's sleepy voice croaked into the receiver.
"Hey, Jamie. You wanna go for a run?"
"Jacey?" Jamie asked, "What's going on?" A loud yawn came through the telephone.
"Do you wanna go for a run?" I repeated.
"A run? Now?"
"Yes, now," I answered with a bit more harshness than I intended.
"Geez, Jace. What time is it?" Jamie was waking up. His words were coming faster as the veil of sleep lifted from his mind.
"About 6:00. When can you get here?"
"6:00?! It's Sunday, Jacey. Can't we go later?"
"No. I want to go now," I whined like a small child.
It was quiet for a moment and then I heard soft laughter.
"What's so funny, McMann?"
"You," Jamie said, laughing harder. "I don't see you for months and then you wake me up in the wee hours of the morning only hours after I left you? Really, Ja
cey. I'm flattered."
The pang of guilt I felt earlier stabbed me a little stronger. "Uh...yeah," I stuttered in response, feeling a tad sheepish for calling him so early.
Laughing, Jamie stated, "Okay, Jace. Let me get a cup of coffee and I'll be there in about thirty minutes."
"Sure. Thanks." I held onto my cell phone, just staring at it for a moment. What was I doing? I wasn't the type of person that used another for her own gain. Jamie was an understanding person and my friend. He likely wouldn't be bothered by my true intentions if I told him. I flipped my cell phone into my free hand and underneath the phone were my angel wings that he gave me. I closed my fingers around the pin. Taking a deep breath, I got off my bed. I wasn't thinking about Jamie anymore.
I went into the bathroom and flicked on the light. The bright lights were jarring and I squinted my eyes until they adjusted. I washed my face and brushed my teeth quietly, so as not to wake Oma. I ran a brush through my tangled hair. Why didn't I pull it up before I fell asleep last night? I finally gave up and wrapped my hair in a messy bun on top of my head. And just as I had yesterday, I stared at the reflection in the mirror. Just plain, unspecial me. I stuck my tongue out at myself. Yep, just like yesterday...nothing special about me.
I dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and grabbed my running shoes before hopping down the stairs as quietly as I could. No doubt Oma stayed awake last night waiting for me to get home from the bonfire. She would be so tired today. I wanted her to sleep a little while longer. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the desk in the breakfast nook and scribbled quickly.
Went for a run with Jamie. Will be back for breakfast and church. Coffee is done. Love, Jacey.
The coffee was just starting to brew, when I heard Jamie's Jeep pull into the driveway. I hoped he wouldn't beep his horn for fear of waking Oma. I grabbed a bottled water from the floor of the pantry and ran outside to meet him.
Jamie was standing at the door, his arm raised and poised to knock. He startled slightly when I opened the door so suddenly.
"Hey, Jace," Jamie greeted, a broad smile forming on his lips.
I put my finger to my lips to shush him. "Oma's sleeping."
"So's the rest of the world," Jamie whispered back, still smiling.
I smiled. He was a good friend to indulge me by coming over to run so early. He had black mesh shorts on and a bright green t-shirt. A white bandana covered his blond hair which was pulled back into a ponytail again. He still wasn't wearing his glasses and he held a stainless steel coffee mug.
"Nice shirt. Is it bright enough?" I teased.
"This?" he asked, pulling out the bottom hem in recognition. "I have one brighter, but I didn't want to overdo it."
"Yes, quite an understatement." I laughed and Jamie smiled broadly.
I started stretching, first my shins and calves and then my hamstrings and quadriceps. Jamie just sipped his coffee, watching me.
"It's going to be another beautiful day today," Jamie stated, nonchalantly taking another sip of coffee from his mug.
"Yeah, you're right," I agreed, looking up from my stretch. I didn't really want to make small talk right now. I just wanted to finish my stretching so we could start our run. When I was done stretching, I stood up. Placing my hands on my hips, I leaned back to stretch my back. Jamie was right. It was going to be another beautiful day. The sky was a pale blue with hints of pink and orange from the rising sun. The sky was completely cloudless. A slight breeze was blowing bringing goose bumps up and down my arms and legs. I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes. The cool air filled my lungs, burning slightly. Jamie laughed again, still sipping coffee.
Opening my eyes, I looked at Jamie. He was staring at me, a twinkle of humor and mischief sparkling in his eyes. I noticed their beautiful and unique color. They were smoky blue, a color that reminded me of the lake just after a rough storm. Cocking my head slightly to the side, I asked, "Where's your glasses, four-eyes?"
"You like?" Jamie said, striking a mock pose, both of his hands on his hips. "They're called contacts."
"I know what contacts are," I answered.
"I'm trying to get used to them. Thought they'd be easier for football."
"Well, they look nice. I mean, if you're going for the big goofball look," I joked in return.
With mock surprise on his face, Jamie replied, "Why yes, I am. So relived that I have achieved the look I'm going for."
We smiled at each other, enjoying a moment of silence. But this time, the silence wasn't uncomfortable. It was a warm and soothing just to be with Jamie. He never required too much attention or expected too much from me. It was okay just to be me. And likewise, it was okay for him to just be him. I finally broke the silence. "Ready?" The word sounded so loud and obtrusive. Jamie just nodded in response, a smile still on his lips.
I took a couple gulps from the bottled water I had been holding. Jamie placed his mug on the steps of the front porch, and I followed his lead, placing my bottled water next to his mug.
"Aren't you going to stretch at all?" I asked.
Jamie flexed his arms in front of him stretching his back and shoulder muscles. "Ahhh," he groaned with exaggeration, "All done."
Rolling my eyes in response, I said, "Let's go, hotshot."
I led the two of us down the same path I had run the day before. Town was still pretty sleepy this Sunday morning. There were very few vehicles on the road and the only business open in the little downtown was the family-owned restaurant; Jameson's. As we ran past Jameson's, I could smell the delicious aroma of their homemade cinnamon rolls. My mouth watered at the smell and my stomach growled with hunger. Jamie must have felt the same thing. "We are definitely stopping there after our run. My treat," he added.
"You're on," I panted back, my voice acknowledging the exertion my body was feeling from the run. I was running a slower pace for Jamie's sake; this was his first run this season. As we ran side by side, Jamie's breath became more labored. My breath was still even and regular. I stole a glance at Jamie as we ran. He was concentrating, his eyes set on some stationary object ahead of him. His gait was deliberate and natural, his arms swung loosely at his sides. Dark spots of sweat had begun to form on his bright green t-shirt. I was thankful I had worn a white t-shirt. With his hand, he wiped the sweat off his forehead just as it rolled down the side of his face.
Turning my gaze away from Jamie, I looked back toward our path. Jamie was such a good sport. He was trying very hard to keep up with me. I could tell the run wasn't easy for him, but he wasn't complaining. I smiled, breathing easily.
We entered the forest that led to the boardwalk. I couldn't help but think of the events of the prior morning. As we ran past the large oak behind the library, I looked to see if he was there, hiding behind the thick, sturdy trunk. I tried not to feel disappointed when he wasn't. I ran, strong and controlled. I could feel my disappointment ebb away with each step, each breath.
We followed the sidewalk into the forest. The forest was dark this morning, but it was alive with noises. Crickets chirped loudly, silencing when we ran past them. A bullfrog bellowed. The unexpected sound startled me, and a surge of adrenaline coursed through my body. It was a little scary running through the forest so early in the morning. The spring sun was not high enough to penetrate the thick forest ceiling. I was glad Jamie was with me. His presence helped calm the panic that was building inside me. Although I could not see him very well because of the darkness, I knew he was still there, running just a couple of feet behind me. Each heavy step and each labored breath that Jamie gave reassured me.
We neared the boardwalk, emerging from the dark, dense forest still cloaked in darkness. Images of the prior morning flashed through my mind. As we neared the very spot where I had twisted my ankle and he had helped me, a pang of disappointment and doubt stabbed at my heart. I realized I wasn't going to see him on this run with Jamie. The realization was crushing.
"Jacey," Jamie panted heavily behind me. "Hold up...going too f
ast."
I turned and saw that Jamie was quite a way behind me. Without realizing it, I had sprinted through the dark forest to the boardwalk. Jamie was bent over, his head down, hands on his thighs. He was desperately trying to catch his breath and his body heaved in response. I had been running too fast and Jamie couldn't keep up with my pace. I jogged back to him.
"Sorry," I said sheepishly. "I didn't realize I was running so fast."
Still bent over, Jamie titled his head up to look at me. He was sweating profusely, droplets of sweat running freely down his face. That familiar smile broke out across Jamie's lips.
I smiled in return. Putting my hands on my hips, I teased, "McMann, if you can't keep up with a weak, puny girl, how do you expect to compete this fall against those big college guys?"
Laughing as best he could between his heavy recovery breaths, Jamie hung his head again. "I know," he panted in response.
When Jamie had regained his breath, we began to walk on the boardwalk toward the dunes. The sun was higher now and it was beginning to warm up. I looked up into the clear blue sky, allowing the beauty to clear my mind. We walked in silence for a moment, until Jamie spoke. "I hope you'll still run with me in the future. I guess I'm not as conditioned as I thought I was."
I glanced at Jamie's reddened face from the run. Smiling, I teased him further. "I don't know. You kind of cramp my style."
He smiled in return. We rounded the sand dune and the road leading home came into view.
"Do you think you could run the rest of the way or are you too lazy?" I joked.
"I don't know...I'm pretty tired." But then he took off, sprinting toward the house.
"Why you!" I yelled, surprised by his sprint. I began to run as fast as I could, my arms pumping in time to each step. I concentrated on the back of Jamie's head, making it my focal point. I was breathing deeply, evenly, filling my lungs fully with air to fuel my sprint. Just as I was about to catch him, Jamie turned to look at me.