by Amy Clapp
"Coming for me?" I tried hard to the bile in my stomach from rising into my throat. I glanced back at Varick. I could really use his calming powers right now. Varick already had his eyes closed. The wave of warmth washed over me, instantly calming my fears.
"Jacey?" Oma's voice quivered with emotion. But before she continued, I spoke.
"Oma, if you know what Varick is and what he can do, then you know that nothing can hurt me so long as he is around. Varick will keep me safe!" I said fiercely, grabbing both of Oma's hands in my own. "He will protect me. He will."
"That's right, Jacey. I will." I heard Varick's voice speaking to me privately. I felt myself growing stronger, more confident, and less scared with each word Varick said. He would protect me; I had no doubts. However, a nagging feeling sat in the pit of my stomach that neither of us would come out of this totally unscathed.
Oma sniffled again, bringing my attention back to her.
"Oh, Oma," I wailed, not being able to control my own grief. "Please don't cry. I don't like it. Everything will be fine. You'll see." I hugged her tightly. She returned the hug murmuring her apologies in my ear.
We held each other for a moment, Oma still crying softly. I was confused by Oma's actions and words. What did she know? How did she know it? This was so overwhelming. Pulling away from Oma I stated firmly, "Now, we have to stop this. Crying isn't going to get us anywhere. Isn't that what you always told me growing up?"
Oma wiped the tears away, allowing the corner of her mouth to turn up in a smile. "Well, that was always Opa's saying."
"Yeah, I know."
"You're right, Jacey," Oma stated, in a stronger voice. "You are such a brave, beautiful girl. I am just so afraid of losing you like I did your mother and Opa. I couldn't bear that loss," she added, her voice catching.
I turned to Varick for encouragement. He hadn't moved. He still stood with his arms crossed over his chest, the half-smile playing on his lips. I turned back to Oma and gave her a kiss on her cheek. As my lips brushed the soft, wrinkled skin, I was reminded of how frail and aged she really had become.
"Do you still want to go to church this morning?" I was hoping she would decline, so I could spend more time with Varick. There were still so many questions to be answered.
"Yes, I would like that very much," Oma said her voice gaining strength. She was no longer crying.
I winced at her acceptance. Darn, I would have to go with her, which meant I had to leave Varick just when I had found him again. I looked at him, disappointment clearly evident on my face. Varick's eyes twinkled in response. "Go, be with her," he communicated silently. "She needs you."
I winced again. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to leave. My body language conveyed the same message to him, I was sure.
I could almost hear him chuckle in response. Instead, I heard his voice loud and clear in my head. "It's alright, Jacey. I already told you. I'm sticking around. We will talk more later."
"Promise?" I mouthed to Varick silently.
Smiling in response, Varick nodded his head.
Resigning myself to going with Oma and leaving Varick, I turned back towards Oma. "Come on. Let's go inside. I have to go get cleaned up quick if we're going to make the service on time."
Oma sighed, an obvious sign that she was feeling better. "Alright, Jacey. I think I need another cup of coffee to calm my nerves anyway."
We walked toward the slider leading into the house. Oma entered slowly, proceeding to the kitchen to get her coffee. Before entering, I stopped, my hand on the slider handle. I heard Varick's warm, rich voice tickle my ears. "Shalkep zuep talowo, Mia Helsoka" he whispered. "I'll be around, watching, My Healer." His words were like a lullaby, sweet and soft. I closed my eyes and soaked in the words as a soft breeze blew past me, caressing my bare skin and sending goose bumps up and down my arms. I turned toward where Varick was standing. He was gone.
Not again. When would I see him again? Disappointment crushed my chest, making it difficult for me to breathe normally. I brought my hand to my angel's wings pin, fastened securely on my t-shirt, and lightly rubbed the tiny pin with my finger.
Varick's voice returned, instantly claming me. "Soon, my Healer. I'm never far away. Trust me."
I exist because you exist.
-Ten-
Oma poured herself a cup of coffee. Her hands were shaking, making it difficult for her to pour. She put both the cup and the coffee pot back on the counter. She seemed to be holding on to the counter as if it were supporting her. She looked up, toward the heavens. I couldn't hear her, but I was pretty sure she was praying. She didn't know I was watching her. She thought I was still upstairs getting ready for church. She looked so old and frail standing there in the kitchen next to the sink with the morning sunlight streaming in around her. My heart broke for her. She was in such pain, her heart filled with fear and grief. I wanted desperately to comfort her, to tell her not to worry. However, I was pretty sure that would be a lie. And she obviously knew more than I did anyway. There was something that she had not shared with me.
"Oma?" I said gently, standing in the entry to the kitchen. I didn't want to scare her.
"Oh. I thought you were still upstairs getting cleaned up." She grabbed the coffee pot and poured the rich, hot liquid into her cup. "I was just pouring myself another cup. Would you like one too?" She was trying hard to make her voice strong, but it wavered slightly.
"Yes, please."
She poured me a cup of coffee, picked up both mugs and carried them over to the little kitchen table in the breakfast nook. "Come and sit down for a minute."
I walked over to the table and sat down. Oma placed a steamy mug of coffee in front of me and I encircled my hands around it. I brought the mug close to my face. The steam curled around me, dampening my skin. I breathed in the rich, fragrant coffee aroma. Oma pulled a chair out next to me, scratching the wood floor as she did. She sat next to me and sipped her coffee. We sat silently for a moment, neither of us saying anything. We just stared out the bay windows at the spring morning unfolding before us.
I stole a glance at Oma. She was deep in thought rubbing her hands absently across the surface of her coffee mug. I had more questions to ask her. I wanted all the information that she had. If I was going to stay safe and keep her and Varick from harm, I had to know exactly what I was up against. I needed to know what she knew.
"Oma, how do you know about me and about Varick?" I caught my lip between my teeth waiting for her response.
Oma didn't answer right away. Maybe she was so deep in thought, she hadn't heard me. Just as I was about to repeat it, Oma took another sip of her coffee and turned to look at me. She took a deep breath, no doubt to settle her own nerves and placed her hand over mine. "I know about you and about Varick, because I know all about Healers and their Protectors. And I know all about them because your mother, my daughter, was also a Healer."
"What?" I choked, blinking as if someone had slapped me across the face. "My mother was a Healer?"
"Yes, Jacey. She discovered it in much the same way as you, I imagine. But, she was older, already twenty. Which is why I thought I had more time with you." The came fluidly now. I just stared back at her, barely breathing. She continued. "I remember there was an accident where she worked; someone cut their hand badly with a box cutter. Your mother healed it with her own hands." Oma's eyes grew misty as she recalled the memories of my mother. She was rubbing the tops of my hands with her own. "She was so excited and so scared. Talking a mile a minute. You know, you do that too when you are excited, Jacey," She smiled as she compared me to my mother.
Shaking her head back and forth, Oma continued. "I was scared too. I didn't know what to make of her gift or where she got it. Opa kept me grounded and calm. Without him, I'm afraid of what I might have said or done to your mother. I was just so scared of her and what it meant for our family." A shadow of sadness swept over Oma's weathered face. I blinked, still in shock by Oma's admission.
"Lat
er that day, we were visited by a strange man. Even Opa was concerned about this stranger. He was mysterious and scary what with the tattoo down his arm. We talked to him, but Opa kept his loaded shotgun close by." Oma smiled affectionately at the memory of Opa trying to protect his family. "The stranger explained everything to us."
"Her Protector," I breathed.
"Yes, her Protector. He told us her purpose was to help as many people as she could, but to do it quietly so as to not bring attention to her. Oma's face darkened and her eyes filled with concern and fear. "And that's when the Protector told us about the Fury." Oma shuddered involuntarily at the last word.
"The Fury," I whispered.
"Yes, he told us the Fury was pure evil, whose only purpose was to find our daughter, your mother, and others like her in order to destroy them," Oma choked on the last part. Her eyes filled with tears. "He told us that it can change its shape from a snake, to a dog, to a mist of smoke. Opa and I were so afraid. We didn't want to lose your mother, our baby." A single tear rolled down her cheek. Impatiently wiping it away, Oma continued. "But, her Protector said he would keep her safe. That was his duty. At first Opa and I were skeptical, but he did just that...for a time."
I moved to take both Oma's hands in my own, clasping them tightly. "Why didn't you ever tell me this, Oma?" My voice cracked with hurt and betrayal.
Oma looked down at our hands, sheepishly. "I was selfish in a way, I guess. I thought if I just pretended you were normal, you would be. I thought if we didn't talk about it, you might not develop the gift fully, the Fury wouldn't look for you, and your Protector would just leave us."
"My Protector?" I questioned, "Have you seen Varick before today?" It was getting easier for me to say his name.
Oma looked at me. "Yes."
"When?" I pressed quietly.
"The day your parents were killed," Oma said. "That's when we were told that you had the same gifts as your mother."
I assaulted Oma with questions. "The day of the accident? How? Why?"
"Varick saved you from the accident. He was there, Jacey, protecting you. That's how you survived."
"Oh," I said. Well, that explained how I survived that horrific accident which claimed the life of my parents. Varick had been there. He had protected me. But why hadn't he saved my parents? Hot tears of frustration stung my eyes.
"Varick brought you to us right after the accident," Oma whispered. "You were such a little baby. You should have been killed too, but you didn't have a scratch on you."
"Why didn't he save my parents?" How different would my life had been if I had known them. The unfairness of it all angered me.
"He saved you, Jacey. You were his responsibility, not them. Your mother had her own Protector."
Staring out the window, I saw a hummingbird sipping nectar from the red feeder just outside the window, its wings beating so rapidly, I couldn't even see them moving. "Why didn't her Protector save her?" It was more of a statement then a question.
Oma let go of my hands. As she did, I turned to face her. She lifted her mug and sipped her coffee. I sensed there was more that she wasn't sharing.
"There's more, isn't there?" I probed, staring at Oma with disbelieving eyes.
Oma took another sip, her eyes avoiding mine.
"Oma, please," I pleaded. "I need to know everything. Please."
Oma finally looked at me. "Yes, there's more," she said slowly. I waited for her to continue, raising my eyebrows expectantly.
"Your mother's Protector was with her at the accident," she said hesitantly.
"Yes," I encouraged. Why was this so difficult for Oma to tell me?
"Her Protector....was your father."
"What?" My father? How?
"Yes, Jacey," Oma continued. "Your father was her Protector. Your father was the strange man who visited us to tell us about your mother's gifts. Your father was the person whose duty it was to protect her."
Blinking, I tried to make sense of what Oma was saying. I was gripping my coffee mug so tightly my knuckles were turning white.
"Jacey, your mother was a Healer and your father was her Protector. Instantly, they were drawn together, a strong bond between them. Their attraction to each other was so powerful, so encompassing that it frightened me and Opa. They grew closer and closer to each other and fell in love. They adored each other and shared a love that you only read about in books. Opa and I weren't surprised when they told us you were coming," Oma smiled gently, but it didn't reach her eyes. They were still filled with grief. She reached over to rub the top of my hand again. Her hand felt warm. "They were so excited that you were coming. They both loved you so. Your father was overly protective, never letting your mother leave his side. He cared for you and her, and your birth was the happiest day of all our lives."
A tear fell from my eye, but I barely noticed. My breath caught in my throat.
"Oh, honey," Oma said softly, gently reaching over to wipe the tear away. "You are the ultimate gift of their love."
I was still confused. This couldn't be true. I had seen pictures of my father. He didn't have a tattoo on his arm like Varick's. Varick had called that tattoo the mark of a Protector. All Protectors had them.
"But Oma, that can't be," I argued, my voice cracking with emotion. "It just can't. I've seen pictures of my father...he didn't have a tattoo."
Oma picked up her mug again. "Yes, in all the pictures I have of him, he either has on a long sleeve shirt or no tattoo. That is true." Oma took another sip. "As your mother and father fell deeper in love, his tattoo began to fade. None of us knew why that happened. Your parents were so in love, they didn't seem to notice. His tattoo continued to fade until all that was left was a small part at the base of his wrist."
I closed my eyes, trying to breath slow and even, processing what Oma was saying. That explained why I never saw a tattoo in photographs of my father. And she didn't have to tell me what the tattoo at the base of my father's wrist was. I already knew. It was the name of his Healer. My mother's name.
Opening my eyes slowly, I looked at Oma. The corners of her mouth lifted slightly. I knew she was trying to be reassuring, but it wasn't working.
"There's more, Jacey," Oma sighed.
"More?" A bewildered half laugh escaped.
Oma closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead with her hand. "Yes, more."
"Okay..." I responded hesitantly.
"I have seen the Fury. It is a most frightening creature. Void of all light, all good. Your father protected your mother from it but it did have contact with our family, multiple times."
Oma continued. "After you were born, your father took careful steps to ensure the safety of you and your mother. We were all worried, so worried that the Fury would find out about you and go after you in an attempt to get to your mother. At that point, we didn't know that you had your own Protector." I stared at Oma, shaking my head back and forth slightly. This was all just so unbelievable. Oma grabbed a hold of both of my arms, turning me to face her. "Jacey, you have to listen to me about this. Everything else you can either believe or not. But this, what I'm about to tell you...you must believe." Oma's voice was urgent, pleading with me. Her eyes were wild with fear. She gripped my arms tightly, her bony fingers biting into my flesh.
"Oma, you're hurting me," I whimpered. Her eyes scared me. But Oma didn't release.
"Jacey, the Fury will come after you. The Fury wants you dead and will stop at nothing to make that so. You must listen to Varick, stay close to him. He will protect you. I can't bear to lose you, Jacey."
"Yes, Oma," I whispered in response.
"The Fury killed your mother and your father. The Fury caused the accident that claimed their lives. You were meant to die too, honey. The Fury knew about you and wanted you dead too. It didn't expect you to survive. It didn't expect your Protector."
"Yes," I whispered again.
"You have to believe me, Jacey. Please stay close to Varick. Listen to him. Keep yourself safe."
/> "Yes, Oma. I will."
Oma pulled me close, clutching me tightly. I returned her hug. My shoulders shook with my sobs. Everything Oma had told me was overwhelming. I succumbed to the heavy emotions of the day. I shook with hysterical sobs of pain, grief, fear, and loss. Jamie's injury, the discovery of my gift, Varick's revelations, and Oma's admissions all came out in the tears dampening my cheeks and Oma's dress.
"There, there child," Oma soothed, gently rubbing my back. "You let those tears flow."
"Oma," I sobbed, hugging her tightly. "Why? Why me?"
Oma chuckled softly, still rubbing my back. "Because you were chosen child. You are special."
"But I'm not," I wailed. "I'm nothing special. Just ordinary."
Oma carefully pushed me away to look at me. Rubbing my arms, Oma snorted. "Jacey, you are anything but ordinary. You are my granddaughter. And I love you very much." This time, Oma's smile filled her eyes with love and adoration.
I sniffed and wiped the tears from my face. "Oma...Opa wouldn't approve of all this crying." I said attempting to lighten the moment.
Oma smiled wider. "Opa didn't know everything. Sometimes you just need a good cry." She patted my arm again.
"Yeah, I guess," I smiled.
The telephone rang, breaking the silence between us and making us both jump.
"The phone," Oma said unnecessarily. And she stood up and walked into the kitchen to answer the call.
"Hello?" Her voice was strong, no signs of the emotion we had shared.
"Yes...Oh...hmm. Oh no...I'm so, so sorry...yes, I'm coming right over." I watched Oma, listening to her side of the telephone conversation. "Okay...bye bye."
Oma slowly hung up the telephone. Something was wrong.
"What is it, Oma? What's wrong?"
"It's Cathy...Something's happened. She needs me right away." Oma didn't take her eyes off the phone.