by Miranda Lee
And then she murmured something which rocked him even more than her crying.
‘Make love to me, Antonio.’
He stared down at her. What did she think he’d been doing?
And then the penny dropped. The reason for the weeping. The disillusionment with Jed, and all her other lovers. Her distress over what had just happened between them. She didn’t want just sex. She wanted love. She didn’t want harsh reality. She wanted romance. It was as Conrad had said.
Just tell her you love her, said a voice in Antonio’s head, and she’ll be putty in your hands. Consolidate your declaration with some truly tender lovemaking, and marriage will be just around the corner.
He instinctively recoiled from such a cruel deception. She deserved better than a husband who didn’t really love her, who would manipulate her like that. If he cared about her at all he would take her home right now and walk out of her life for ever.
And leave her for Brock Masters? His pragmatic side piped up again. Throw away everything you’ve worked for as well?
And what about your child? another voice inserted savagely. The one who might have been conceived here tonight? Who can say what Paige might do if she finds herself pregnant? Could you live with yourself if she does what Lauren did, not out of greed, but despair? You can see how vulnerable she is, man. Just look at her!
A whole host of emotions tore through Antonio. And while he tried to tell himself there were mitigating circumstances for what he’d done tonight, and what he was about to do, his main feeling was a raging guilt.
Oh, Paige, Paige, he agonised as he bent to cover her lovely mouth with his. Forgive me…
Paige could not believe the gentleness of his kiss. Or the way he looked down at her afterwards. With such sweet tenderness.
It brought tears to her eyes, and to her soul. Her parched, love-starved soul.
‘Antonio,’ she murmured, and held her hand against his cheek.
He didn’t say a word as he carried her into the darkened bedroom; nor when he drew her down with him onto the huge bed; nor when he started making love to her again.
No matter. She didn’t want words at that moment. Words would have spoiled the fantasy, the fantasy that Antonio loved her.
In the security of her silent dreamworld Paige could believe anything she chose. And she chose to believe there was more to Antonio’s lovemaking than lust this time. It was there in the softness of his mouth and the gentleness of his touch. But most of all it was in the swift readiness of his body to give her pleasure and satisfaction once more.
No man, Paige enjoyed deluding herself, could want her again so quickly, unless she meant more to him than a one-night stand.
Not since her days at school had she enjoyed one of her fantasies so much, letting reality slip away as she sighed beneath her pretend love, sighed, then groaned, then gasped, her hips lifting to meet Antonio’s as they came together one more amazing and marvellous time.
It was only afterwards, while Paige held him in her arms and felt him slip away into sleep, that reality re-surfaced and she knew she could never bear to do this again.
Once was enough.
Once she could live with.
Twice would surely destroy her.
The only plus from tonight was that there was no possibility of a pregnancy to compound her stupidity. She’d started taking the pill a couple of years ago, after a near-date-rape scare one night, at the suggestion of a kindly doctor who’d said girls these days were always at risk, with sexual assault so rampant. Of course, she knew the pill wouldn’t protect her from AIDS or other STDs. And once or twice she’d contemplated stopping. She was glad now that she hadn’t.
Lord knows what Antonio had been thinking, however, when he’d gone ahead without protection. Had he presumed she was using some form of protection? Or did he believe she would think nothing of having an abortion if she fell pregnant?
She hated to think he would think that badly of her. Still, she supposed the responsibility for what had happened was mainly hers. She’d been the one to push the issue. She’d been the one who’d refused to go home, who’d told him to just do it, asked him to do it again. Fair enough if he assumed the worst.
He probably thought she was a big tart.
Not that it really mattered what he thought of her. All that mattered was that she extricate herself from his life as quickly as possible. Knowing men, he would probably want to keep her on tap for the rest of his fortnight’s holiday. Heck, why not? He probably thought she was good for every which way he might like his sex. Kinky. Straight. Wild. Warm. He must have thought he’d won the sexual lottery!
Paige bit her bottom lip to stop herself from crying again, steeling herself inside with tough thoughts. She’d shed enough tears tonight. Frankly, she’d shed enough tears over Antonio to last a lifetime! Enough was enough. Time to take control of her wayward heart and weak flesh. Time to show him who was boss of her life.
She really could not allow herself to continue being a victim of her futile feelings.
She had to make a stand!
Sliding out from under him, she slipped from the bed, stopping only long enough to pick up the bottom of the quilt and throw it over his naked body. She could not bear to look at him like that, or to look at him at all for that matter. Not right now. Shortly, perhaps, when she’d washed the smell of him from her body and put something on to cover the evidence of his lovemaking. Maybe then she would be able to face him.
Antonio woke to a shake of his shoulder. He blinked a couple of times into the overhead light before focusing on the figure beside the bed.
Paige, he finally realised. Fully dressed. And with a slightly impatient expression on her face.
‘Sorry to wake you,’ she said briskly. ‘But I really must be going home, and I didn’t bring any money with me.’
Antonio’s brain was still fuzzy from sleep. ‘What do you need money for?’
‘For a taxi, silly. You don’t think I expect you to get up and drive me home, do you? You must be wrecked after your long day. Not to mention your pretty exhausting night.
‘Not that I’m not grateful, mind,’ she added, bending and giving him a peck on his startled mouth. ‘You’re as fantastic in bed as I always thought you’d be. And, frankly, after Jed, I needed my faith in male virility restored a little. But let’s be honest, Antonio, you’re not looking for a permanent female to share your life, whereas I’m reaching the stage where real commitment is what I’m looking for. Actually, one-night stands never did appeal to me. Why do you think I always lived with my boyfriends?’
She batted her eyelashes at him and smiled a sickly sweet smile. ‘So, darling, as much as I fancy you enormously, I think we’ll leave it right here. Oh, by the way, if you’re worried there’s a chance a little Scarlatti heir might have been produced tonight, then don’t be. I’m on the pill. Not that I usually tell a man that. But you can know now that our sexual relationship is over.’
Antonio could find nothing to say to her. He supposed he should have felt relieved about the pill business. But he wasn’t. Frankly, he was too taken aback by this whole unexpected turn of events to assemble his emotions—and thoughts—properly. Only one fact was sinking in, which was that despite Paige’s verbal flattery over his performance in bed she wasn’t nearly as vulnerable to him as he’d thought, or hoped.
‘We really were both very silly tonight, weren’t we?’ she went on, in that faintly patronising tone. ‘I guess I was upset over Jed, and you…well perhaps you’ve been working too hard, Antonio, and not getting enough regular sex. What you need is some desperate divorcee to satisfy your needs over the next fortnight, and I’ll look for someone a little more suited to my needs. You get my drift?’
Antonio got her drift all right. Desperate divorcee indeed!
And there he’d been earlier, worrying about taking advantage of the girl, thinking she was a push-over. She was about as much of a push-over as her father!
But she’d s
hown her hand to him in more ways than one tonight. For one thing she wasn’t in any way frigid, as Waltham had implied. That idiot must have been pretty terrible in bed. Paige liked her sex and she liked it a lot. She just preferred it with commitment.
Commitment, he mused, was the name of the game. Not love, so much. Or even romance.
Now commitment he could handle. Commitment he was familiar with. He’d been committed to Fortune Productions for years. All he had to do was do what he did at work when he went after a contract or a deal. Devote every breathing, waking moment to the challenge, and never take no for an answer!
‘You don’t have to go home, do you?’ he said softly, and sat up, the quilt falling off his naked shoulders.
She turned away from him and stood up, laughing. ‘Oh, yes, I do. No way am I going to waltz up home tomorrow morning after staying out all night with you, Antonio. A girl has her pride.’
‘Pride?’
‘Everyone around Fortune Hall knows you’re the love ’em and leave ’em type. I have no intention of being added to your list of idle conquests. Bad enough that I once made a fool of myself over you. I don’t intend to repeat the performance, or give Evelyn any opportunity to sneer down her nose at me. Not to mention my father! Good grief, the thought is too horrible for words. So you can either hop up and drive me home, or lend me some money for a taxi. It doesn’t matter to me either way.’
Oh, it didn’t, did it? Antonio began to fume. We’ll just see about that, Miss Love ’em and Leave ’em yourself! I’ve got news for you. You won’t be loving and leaving me, honey. You’re going to be my wife, whether you want to be or not!
‘I wouldn’t dream of sending you home in a taxi,’ he said with a smooth smile, and, throwing off the quilt, bounced naked from the bed. ‘Just give me a minute…’
Paige groaned as she watched his gorgeous behind disappear into the en suite bathroom. That was not a sight which reinforced her decision to have done with the infernal man once and for all!
On top of that, Antonio himself didn’t seem to want to leave things between them at a one-nighter. If he had, he would have taken up her suggestion of a taxi. He would not be rushing to escort her home.
Antonio had seemed genuinely taken aback by her decision not to see him again. No doubt he wasn’t used to such rash treatment from women he’d just brought to rapture in his bed. Paige could not imagine many of his sexual partners not lining up eagerly for seconds. Or thirds.
But she wasn’t one of his casual sexual partners, was she? She loved the man.
No! She would not weaken. She’d spoken her mind to him—and, in essence, it was the truth. She did want commitment. She’d had enough of loneliness, and heart-ache. She was fed up to her eye-teeth with men asking her out, then expecting her to jump into bed the very first night. She wanted someone who wanted what she wanted. She wanted someone whom she could love, and who would love her back. She wanted…the impossible. She sighed.
The bathroom door opened and out strode Antonio, all wet and glistening from the shower, his still naked body just barely decent with a towel slung round his hips.
Paige tried not to look anything but amused. ‘You going to drive me home like that, Antonio?’
His smile was wickedly attractive, and totally disarming. ‘Would you like me to?’
Her face grew hot at the thought. ‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ she snapped.
He shrugged. ‘I guess I’ll have to get dressed, then.’ And he headed for the living room.
Paige made the mistake of following him and watching while he discarded the towel right in front of her and began to dress with irritating slowness, starting with his underpants and trousers. Once they were thankfully in place, he actually sat down on the sofa where he’d made love to her—if you could call that torrid encounter making love!—and took his time putting on his shoes and socks.
Such a sight and setting was not conducive to pure thoughts and brave resolves. Paige stared at Antonio’s semi-naked body and started thinking of all the things she’d wanted to do with the man and hadn’t. She hadn’t even touched him all over. It had been all Antonio directing everything. Antonio doing the kissing and the caressing. Antonio choosing the positions.
A pity, Paige thought regretfully.
She’d once had this fantasy of giving a completely nude Antonio a long, sensual massage. She would relax him totally with the skill of her hands first, then slowly arouse him with her mouth till he was in a state of the most acute arousal. Only when he begged her would she slide over and down onto his aching flesh, where she—
‘I’m ready,’ Antonio drawled, and Paige was dragged back to reality, her mouth snapping shut with a nasty little lurch in her stomach.
For Antonio was watching her closely, and with a slightly smug smile. Panic propelled her madly racing heart into momentary arrest. What had he seen just now? What had he guessed? Had he been aware of her staring at him as he dressed? Had he seen the lust in her glazed eyes?
Yes, of course he had! He might be an expert at wearing a poker face, but she wasn’t quite so skilful over hiding her feelings. He must have felt the hunger in her glued gaze, then recognised the reason behind her faraway expression, her parted lips, her flushed cheeks.
Somehow, she managed to school her face into a casual expression, but the damage had been done. Still, if she were brutally honest with herself, the damage had been done earlier tonight, when she’d responded to him with such abandon, then begged him for more.
‘Fine,’ she said crisply. ‘Let’s go.’
She stalked off ahead of him towards the door, then stood at a distance in the corridor while he locked up. But Antonio was not to be so easily denied. The moment they were alone together in the lift his hand found hers, his fingers sliding between hers, then curling them over.
Her stomach curled over as well.
The automatic and involuntary response annoyed Paige. But it underlined her vulnerability to the man. Really, this was the last time she could allow herself to be alone with him.
Meanwhile, she had to let him know that she had his measure.
Snatching her hand out of his would have seemed melodramatic, and panicky. So she left it there, pasted a wry little smile on her mouth and threw him a gently mocking glance.
The predatory gleam in his return gaze reaffirmed what she’d already suspected. Antonio wasn’t going to give up easily. He was the one who wanted more now.
But only for the next fortnight.
Only a fool would think otherwise. Once his two-week break was over he’d be winging his way back to Europe, without Paige just a pleased smile on his handsome face.
The thought made her doubly determined not to let him seduce her again. She’d wasted enough of her life pining after this man. It was definitely time to move on.
The lift doors opened in the basement and she managed to free her fingers without making a fuss. He didn’t appear disconcerted by her distancing herself a little as they walked to the car together, but she was sure she detected a slight stiffening of the muscles in his jawline, and in the set of his broad shoulders.
Antonio’s earlier advice, to study his body language, not his face, did not bring Paige any comfort. Somehow, she didn’t think her father’s right-hand man had reached his present position in the company by being meek and mild, or by turning the other cheek. Although a quiet achiever, he was, nevertheless, an achiever. He would not be overly familiar with experiences such as failure, or rejection. What he wanted, he probably usually got. And that included women.
Paige had no illusions about Antonio in that regard.
Which meant she had to be extra careful, didn’t she? There would be no accepting any invitation from him, no matter how innocent-sounding it was. Or how desperate she was to get away from her father, or Evelyn, or whatever.
She had to be strong, not weak.
She had to be firm, not foolish.
She had to say no!
CHAPTER NINE
Paige had been waiting for this, and it came at the first set of lights.
‘Today, you mean,’ she corrected.
‘Don’t be pedantic, Paige.’
‘I’ll be very busy,’ she informed him, and he threw her a disbelieving glance.
‘Doing what? You’re unemployed at the moment.’
‘Exactly. And I aim to get un-unemployed! Very quickly.’
‘But there’s not much you can do on a Tuesday. Any phone-in jobs from Saturday’s Herald will have gone. The rest will require a resumé sent in, which can be done any day this week. The closing date is usually ages after the ad.’
‘You’ve obviously forgotten my telling you, Antonio,’ she pointed out firmly, feeling quite proud of herself, ‘but I signed up with an agency. They have jobs on their books all the time, especially jobs for temps. If I phone them as soon as they open, I could be at an interview this very afternoon. My only problem is that I don’t have any clothes to wear, except what I have on.’
‘You don’t have any other clothes at all?’
‘Only what I wore home. A pair of blue jeans, a white shirt and a black jacket.’
‘Nothing in your wardrobes at home?’
‘A few things left behind from years ago. That’s where this outfit came from. But you should see the rest. Other than the odd bikini, shorts and T-shirt, the rest are dresses bought during my ‘crush-on-Antonio’ phase. No doubt you won’t remember my coming down to dinner in them, but believe me when I tell you they are not dresses you’d wear to an interview. Not unless it’s for a job up at the Cross,’ she added, with a rueful laugh.
Antonio’s laugh was just as rueful. ‘Actually, I do remember you in a few of those dresses. And I know exactly what you mean. They fuelled a thousand X-rated fantasies for me back then.’
Paige stared helplessly over at him and he laughed again. ‘You should see the look on your face. I told you I’d always been attracted to you. Didn’t you believe me?’