At least in my dream the door opened, I close my eyes and sleep, hoping that tomorrow Bianca will open the door and let me in. I need peace, I need to have Bianca with me, only she can bring the sun to my soul clouded by storms.
CHAPTER 14
BIANCA
I roamed all night in bed, missing the devil of this man warming me at night ... And refreshing me with his kisses when the day breaks. Damn, damn, a thousand times, damn it!!!
I scream irritated and kick the sheet, the pillow falling to the ground reminding me of the first time we slept together and I woke up with Nahan clinging to my back, curled up on me like a kitty.
If this damn pillow were to continue between us, I would not be suffering like I am now!!!
I bathe with my body anesthetized by the sadness that kills me and after my morning cleanliness, I go down the stairs without knowing for sure what I will do of my life from now on.
I go to the kitchen and Fatimah and Jasmine look at me curiously, smiling amiably, and suddenly they leap from the chairs they are sitting on, all settling with the steady strides of a certain ordinary figure I already know quite a bit.
Nahan enters the kitchen flanked by Thurayya and stops as soon as he sees me, his eyes searching mine and he approaches trying to corner me by the stove.
-Bianca, we need to talk.
I move away and he gets even closer, his beard is undone, his eyes are red, his appearance is not the best, apparently it was not just me who did not sleep at all last night.
-We have nothing to talk about, I just need you to set me free, that's all.
He tries to lurk me between the wood stove and the sink, until he hears Thura shouting at him, loudly.
-Leave her alone and don’t make it any worse.
Nahan turns furiously towards Thurayya and pours all his hatred on her.
-Do not get involved in my life, is not it enough yesterday to have taken Bianca to the seat of government. Now I've become a reason for gossip and laughter in the hallways of the office and this is all your fault, Thurayya.
-You drink and fall into this ridiculous trap of Sapphira’s and I am the one to blame, that has no place, Nahan.
-Nahan, no! respect me at least once in your life, I am King Nahan, Thurayya Abdul.
This is taking a proportion that I did not want, I do not want Nahan and Thura to fight over me.
- As you wish, King Nahan Zayn Bin Asi Tarif, my king, sovereign of this country.
Nahan puts his hands to his ears and his eyes face Thura’s tears.
-Stop calling me that, immediately. Thurayya, please forgive me, Thura, forgive me.
Nahan sits down in the chair and grabs Thurayya by the waist, hiding his face in her fat belly, she nods at me to leave them alone.
-You are my aunt, my maid, the mother I have known since I was born, forgive what I have said, forgive me, Thura. My Thura, pardon me, please. Tell me what I should I do, tell me Thura, just say it and I do it, I need to have peace, she listens to you, talk to her Thura, please.
I leave the kitchen still listening to Thurayya comforting Nahan.
-Everything will settle, I'll ask you to trust me. There is nothing to forgive, you are my boy, you will always be my Nahan.
I went into the garden, and so much time passed, until Thura came to me, holding out my hand.
- Malakatah Bianca, you know I have you as a daughter, but first of all, I am a Bahraini national, I care for peace in my country and for the well-being of my king and this is about to end if you call The Qatar. So, I beg you, give me back the cell phone Nahan gave you.
I thrust my hand into the pocket of my jeans and handed it to Thura, stammering,
-I was not going to call.
-You're angry, and anger blinds even the wisest of men, just as it makes us dumb, can’t you see the truth that's right in front of your nose, Bianca?"
I look at her curiously and ask biting her nails:
-What truth, Thura?
Thura holds my hand and looks at me seriously, her frowned brow showing even more wrinkles on her round face.
- Sapphira will not settle down until she expels you from Nahan's life, Armed dreams of making his daughter the queen of this country, the Khoury have never resigned themselves to having lost their power to the Tarif for years, this was in a bloody, very old battle, But we Arabs do not usually forget the affronts, the dishonour we suffered. Of course, Armed always dreamed that the Khoury would return to power in Bahrain. Nahan has many faults, Bianca, he's annoying, sometimes arrogant, possessive, but I assure you that disloyalty is not one of those. Even because he usually clings very strongly when he receives love from someone. Since he was little, he has always been like that, attached to everything and everyone around him, it is as if he tried to compensate for the love that my sister denied to him.
A mother denying love to her son is unthinkable, why did Nahan's mother act like that?
-And why did not she give love to her own son? This is so depressing, Thura.
Thura dislocated, looking saddened, I think it was because she remembered her sister.
-I doesn’t matter Bianca, family problems, anyway, what I mean is that you're falling like a duckling in Sapphira’s trap, I'm sure Nahan would never kiss Sapphira, especially in public, these demonstrations of feelings are not like Nahan, because if you really love him, you should not let any woman rip your man from your arms. Think of it with affection, I recognize the love where it exists, and you both love each other, do not let anyone destroy it, love and be loved, and still more, being able to experience that corresponded love is not everyone's privilege, learn how to value this gift From allah.
Thura kissed my forehead and left, left me with my thoughts and my deepest fears.
I spent my entire life watching my mother live a mediocre marriage with my father, they never really loved each other. The daughters came after they were married, we grew up and they continue to be in a relationship, worn, poisoned, in a communion of sad evils to behold.
On the other hand, I see no future in my relationship with Nahan, today is Sapphira, tomorrow will be another suitor and then another, they will not settle down until Nahan takes one of them as a wife.
This is what the people yearn for, that is what the political allies of Nahan wish, a queen for the people, to re-establish a new reign and to generate the heir of this renewed, prosperous, unified kingdom, they will never accept Nahan marrying a foreigner, so that prolonging a suffering that I know will come, is worse.
Four days have passed by and Nahan and I didn’t speak, he comes home every day late and sleeps in the library every night, waking up the next day with a bad mood, his appearance of austere king, powerful man, disintegrates with each passing day.
While Nahan is in the government palace, a guard announces the presence of Mohamed, wanting to speak with Thurayya.
He enters the living room announced by one of the guards and Thurayya stands up slowly, visibly suspicious and hating the visit.
Thura greets him with a shake of her head and so do I, I head toward the library, listening to him speak in the hallway with Thurayya.
- Good morning, Thurayya Abdul, so long that I don’t see you.
-Yes, a long time, Nahan is in the seat of government, did you meet?
Mohamed cleared and surprised Thura.
-No, I came here to talk to you, Thurayya.
- Ok, you can talk.
Mohamed responds by leaving me a flea of curiosity.
-I think we'd better talk in a private place, discreet, what I have to say, I do not think you'd like anyone to hear.
What is so intimate that he wants to talk to Thura?
THURAYYA ABDUL
Now I was curious to know what that cockroach wants to talk to me about.
Mohamed follows me into the kitchen, looking with obvious envy at the art objects and the expensive relics that adorn the royal palace.
I'll take you to the kitchen, this is where my little kingdom
is, where I fed Nahan and Jafar for the first time, where everything happens in this palace and I, even if I do not want to, put my spoon gnawed and try to bring peace and well-being to my king, to Jafar, and to all those around us.
Mohamed sits in his chair, looking at the kitchen with contempt, and I expect him to begin to tell the real reason that brought him here.
-Thurayya, I'll be brief, I want to talk to you about our king's resistance to marrying again.
I interrupt him, irritated.
-The decision to have a new wife belongs to Nahan himself, Mohamed, I do not understand why you came to see me.
-You are a very clever woman Thurayya, a strategist by nature, but I'm sorry to inform you that in this game I hold the cards, my dear.
What the hell is this, anyway, what does he want from me?
-Well, tell me shortly, I do not know where you want to go, Mohamed.
Mohamed rises and approaches me, but I stare at him, his bark does not scare me, if I were afraid of ugly faces, only Nahan's would have made me pee my pants.
-I, as a man, thought the stranger would be a passing curiosity of our king, but I am afraid to say that his involvement with her every day generates more rumours and concerns from our allies and local leaders. Nahan has to marry a citizen of Bahrain, preferably someone that the clan exerts, a political influence profitable for our king and not a common foreigner. Not long ago he intended to carry out retaliation against the King of Qatar's affront to attack his family, but now I no longer recognize Nahan, he seems to be bewitched by this miserable girl and this is not good for our country, I unfortunately, I will not be able to afford it.
Now, where such an absurdity has already been seen, no matter how much Mohamed is the prime minister, he has no right to influence Nahan's personal life in this way, neither he nor anyone else, I will quickly put him in its proper place.
-And tell me who you are, Muhammad, to make Nahan relate to and marry anyone?
Mohamed standing inches from my face, with cold eyes piercing mine.
-I am the man who knows your past and everything you hide, Thurayya Abdul.
-I do not know what you're talking about, Mohamed.
I raise my head without twisting my arm, but my heart is beating, what does he really know? He is too young to know anything about my past, I choose to risk and ironically.
-And what would this sordid past be, that would frighten me, Mohamed?
-The origin of Asi Tarif, your past, all that the king and queen did to hide the truth, all about Nahan and Jaffar, do you want me to speak more Thurayya?
I choke, but I maintain my calm, my voice comes out of my lips like a fragile thread:
-Nahan has suffered a great deal, Mohamed, if this miserable foreigner, as you say, brings joy to my king, the happiness and life he needs in his days again, I support him in whatever he chooses. If he wants to marry a foreigner, make her his queen, I will support him, because this is my duty, always was, let him be happy Mohamed, you promised fidelity to your king, to the government of Nahan, do not betray him in this sordid way.
-Well, I think you should lean on to convince him to marry the right woman, to join forces with who will really lead us to a solid government, that girl came into Nahan's room like a hurricane, and he could not utter no more than a word that made any sense since she made that depressing scene in his living room. He has turned into a dumb and lost man, is this the king that our government needs? A foolish man? Lost in love with a foreign girl? This girl confuses his mind, what he needs to do is take the plan against the Qataris ahead, that's for sure, not to play happily ever after with that silly Latina who can’t offer any stability to our country. Think about everything I said, if you do not want to go through the embarrassment of the dead and buried matters of the past resurfacing causing Nahan and Jafar to hate you, you better support me and encourage you to marry Sapphira, she's the ideal woman to be Our queen, think well Thurayya.
Even if my face creeps through the market, I die of shame for everything I've done, lived and hid for a lifetime, yet I will support Nahan in being happy, there is nothing more important to me than seeing my king’s joy, nothing, but I will have to be smarter than Mohamed, if he wants to play, then he shall be prepared, I have powerful weapons in my favour, Bianca's love for Nahan and his love for her, and my true love for my king and for Jafar, no matter how much Mohamed thinks he is a good strategist, he will never be a winner in this story, in this game, it is the love that will win !!!
CHAPTER 15
BIANCA
After Mohamed's departure, Thurayya was visibly shaken, struck, this unpalatable fellow must have said something too serious to make the poor woman sad like that. I walked through the kitchen and she was sitting alone in the dark with her head down, her thoughts seemed far away. Seeing Thura devastated like this, it also left me sad and worried. She is like a mother to me here in the palace, always assertive and attentive to everyone's needs, I feel powerless to know that Thura, who protects and cares for all of us, when she needs it most, she can’t share her pain with anyone.
Thura stares at me sitting in the living room while she knits, sometimes stopping from knitting, staring at nothing, I ask worried:
-Has anything happened, Thura? Anything you want to tell me?
Thura puts aside the piece that knits, after complaining that she missed the row the second time, answering me then:
-Nothing important, my child, nothing you can help me with.
I shrug, annoyed that I can’t help her, disguise myself as I can, but my mind pounds after the conversation I had with Thura.
That Sapphira bitch really had a lot of interest in showing me that damn picture, just thinking and remembering Sapphira's mouth kissing the corner of Nahan's mouth, I feel my blood boil.
Jafar enters the room with a tired look and also looking sad, kisses the Thura’s forehead asking her how his day was and after greeting his mother, greets me in a nod, surprisingly wanting to talk to me.
I nod and follow Jafar to his office, two doors behind the library.
As soon as I close the door, he shows me a chair to sit on and settles in front of me.
-I'm going to be quick and straightforward, Bianca, I'm not a half-words man, I know everything that happened, your fight with Nahan and what I can tell you, is that I was present when everything happened. I was coming back from an appointment, when Nahan approached the elevator and Sapphira stumbled on her own legs, drunk, Nahan supported her and she took advantage of the situation and forced a kiss, but he did not respond Bianca. Nahan got into the elevator and told Sapphira that it would never happen again, but I'm afraid to tell you that she's going to do whatever it takes to get close to him again. She's an ordinary slut, who thinks only of satisfying her father's will. I needed to tell you what actually happened, now you decide whether to believe it or not, if you'll excuse me, I have a bottle of whiskey waiting for me.
Before leaving the office, seeing the drooping shoulders of Jafar, I asked him if I could help him.
- Jafar, I do not know if I can believe everything you said, after all you are Nahan's cousin, but still, thanks for telling me, want to talk a little, I can help you with some problems, sometimes just venting it's good.
Jafar gave me a forced smile, took a bottle of whiskey and a glass, thanking my concern.
-Thank you, Bianca, but you are very pure, very clean, so I can’t share with you such dirty problems, so much lie and so much sordidness.
I nodded and left him alone with his bottle of whiskey and his thoughts.
At dawn, at the sounds of the feet I know walk in slow steps, I open the door of my room and through the dimness of the corridor, I see Nahan once more, one more night, down the stairs towards the library, holding a fluffy blanket and a pillow under his arm.
I sit in my cold bed and doubt pierces my soul, what can I do? Be rational and end this madness while I still can find myself and get up again, or plunge into this conflicting river that is Nahan
's heart, even though I know it's almost certain to drown for good?
I go to the bathroom, take a long shower, dress up and take my pillow, reworking the steps of the man I love, to the library.
Turning the doorknob and even with the creaking of the door, Nahan keeps his eyes closed, sitting on the couch, his long legs stretched out, wearing nothing but a pair of black pyjamas.
-Thura, please go out and leave me alone.
I close the door and Nahan opens his eyes, staring at me in surprise.
And in that very instant our eyes meet again, the magic of overwhelming desire is once again reborn.
Nahan sitting on the same couch and me in front of him, wearing the same white sweater from when he first had me.
And today I want to become a woman again, in the arms of the man that being right or wrong, I love more than I could ever dream.
He stares at me without looking away, mumbling words in Arabic like a mantra, softly ... And my trembling fingers once more, pull down the straps of my nightgown, revealing myself naked in the eyes of my love.
Nahan whispers softly:
- Jamilat, walkamal, my halawi. (Gorgeous, perfect, my halawi).
My sweater falls to my feet and Nahan holds out my hand, closing my fingers in mine, I sit straddling her on her lap and our mouths meet once again as our saliva mixes, our lips moulded to perfection, embedded as if we were one.
The delicious taste of Nahan's mouth makes me wake up, I was in hell all these days, without his kisses, ah! I missed him so much !!!
He lifted his hips a little, without letting go, and Nahan slid his pants and his underwear down to his ankles, kicking his clothes, clumsily.
-Don’t let me go, don’t go away, ah! How much I missed you, my halawi.
I bit him on the lips and he growled my name horny, I'm in a hurry too, I want it fast, inside me quickly.
I went with one hand to his cock, at the entrance of my vagina, he looked at me worried to hurt me, thinking that I am not prepared, wet to receive him, as soon as my hips descend against his and he probes mine clitoris with his magic fingers, Nahan smiles, realizing that I am soaked, my sex throbbing, wet and soaked, eager to receive it whole, all inside of me, all at once.
Lovely Concubine Page 14