***
When she awoke again, Ram was laying at her side, propped on one elbow, studying her. The corners of his mouth lifted and he leaned down, brushed his lips across hers. “I missed you,” he murmured.
Her heart leapt with gladness at his confession. He didn’t just mean while she’d slept. “I missed you, too. So very much.”
He kissed the tip of her nose. “Stubborn little nose. I should have known what I was in for from the beginning just from that.”
She laughed at the silliness of it, choosing to take it as a compliment rather than complaint.
“Will you take more soup?”
She nodded and let him help her into a sitting position. He lifted a bowl from the covered tray she hadn’t even noticed sitting on the bedside table. “You make an exceptional nurse, my lord,” she teased as she took the bowl from him. He smiled.
When the soup was nearly gone, Ram cleared his throat. “There’s no good way to ease into this, so I’ll just say it. I heard from Dexter while you were sleeping, Izzy. He sent a messenger. I asked him to keep me apprised of the tidings from court.” He cleared his throat again. “Paul didn’t survive, Izzy. I’m sorry, for your sake, since you once cared for him.”
She pushed her hair back from her face, trying to think of the right words to express her feelings adequately. Her initial moment of sadness was for a man who’d never existed and the somber mood was quickly extinguished. “I’m not. He was a wretched man, happy to use people who cared about him to achieve his own ends. I’m only sorry I didn’t listen to those wiser than I and saved us both much heartache.”
“Ah, Izzy. Your tenacity is one of the things I love most about you.”
She giggled. “You won’t be saying that in ten years!”
“I fully expect to be repeating these same words to you in a decade.”
“Will you still roll your eyes when you say them?”
He grinned. “Most likely.”
She traced his lips with her finger. “I don’t deserve you, Ram. You are such a wonderful man.” She pressed a kiss against his lips. His arms tightened around her. He took the fingers that had traced his lips and gently kissed each fingertip in turn. “Forgive me, Sweetheart.”
She frowned in confusion. “For what?”
“For the last time we were together. I was a brute to treat you as I did.”
“No more apologies, Ram.”
“Izzy, I need to say this. I need your forgiveness for this.”
“Then I forgive you, especially since there’s nothing to forgive. I deserved your treatment, and probably so much more. And truly, I did not learn what it meant to whore one’s self until Paul.
The tension that coiled within him immediately transferred itself to her. “You didn’t deserve what I subjected you to, and for that I’m sorry. And I’m sorrier still I wasn’t in time to stop what happened to you.”
She stroked his cheek. “Thank you for saying that. And now we really shall leave the past behind us. If we start trading apologies now, we’ll never get out of this bed.”
He wrapped her in his arms. “I could think of worse ways to spend my life.”
With a laugh she snuggled closer. His arms tightened around her, cocooning her in his warmth and affection. They lay in comfortable silence for some time. She was drowsing in his arms, relishing their reconciliation, delighting in finally reclaiming the feelings they’d held for one another before their marriage, when a thought occurred to her, brought on by the memory of their wedding day and the surroundings of the chamber where they’d spent their first nights as a married couple.
“Ram?”
“Yes, my love?”
His endearment thrilled her to the core. “Would you think me insane if I asked for us to be married again, to have a second wedding? A new wedding for a new beginning? We needn’t have a pastor, only a small gathering of those important to us. Our first wedding day was horrid, for both of us, I think I know it sounds ridiculous and people will wonder for my sanity-”
“Nay, they’ll think you expect a second wedding gift from them.”
She laughed. “I’m serious, Ram. I’d like to celebrate our love before the world…although if anyone feels the need to bring a second gift, I wouldn’t stop them.”
His eyes crinkled, and adoration shined from the gray depths. “I love the idea of marrying you again. I’ll wed you a hundred times if you but ask it. And I’ll gift you with a wedding present every morning of your life, if that makes you happy. But you’ve many more days of bed rest ahead of you. We can discuss this when you are fully recovered.”
She pouted for an instant then decided to focus her thoughts on something else he’d said. “Will you be spending many of these bed rest days here beside me?”
“Didn’t I already dare you to try and remove me?”
She smiled, overcome with love. “Then I’ll be more than content to confine myself to your bed, my lord.”
He kissed her, soft and sweet.
Suddenly the bedroom door flung open without warning. A distressed Hawthorne stood in the hallway wringing his hands, watching in horror as Izzy’s mother and a subdued Belinda and Lucien all filed into the chamber, blatantly invading their privacy.
Mama walked straight to the bed, just as Ram slid out of it. She examined Izzy from head to toe. “My God, Belinda said it might be smallpox.”
“Influenza, Mama. Only influenza.”
Her relief apparent, Mama’s sudden smile lit the room. “You’re pale, but ‘tis obvious you’re regaining your strength already. What can I do for you?” She turned to Ram, who’d retaken his seat in the chair by the bed. “You must be exhausted. I’ll be happy to watch over her for a spell.”
“Mama, I’m fine. Ram took good care of me through my illness.”
Ram looked sheepish as he addressed her mother. “I helped, of course, but you know Izzy’s will is strong, and she was determined to get well.”
Her mother ran a cool hand across her forehead. “You should be resting.”
“I know, Mama. But Ram and I are making plans to renew our wedding vows.”
“What a wonderful idea, darling” she looked knowingly from Ram and Izzy. “Dare I say this arranged marriage turned out to be a success in the end?”
Izzy reach for Ram’s hand. “Indeed it has.”
“You see, Belinda, an arranged marriage can work quite well.”
When Belinda remained silent, Izzy glanced at her, confused. Her mother turned back to Izzy. “Have you had the pleasure of meeting Belinda’s betrothed yet?”
“Betrothed?” Both Izzy and Ram asked in unison
“Lord Lucien De Vere is to marry our Belinda in three months time. I understand you’re a very good friend, Ramsay?”
Ram nodded dumbly as they both absorbed the news. Belinda and Lucien?
How had so much happened during the time she’d been ill?
Izzy studied the newly betrothed couple, but if something was amiss, they weren’t letting on. She must talk to Belinda alone and get the details!
And then she saw Papa, hanging back by the door, watching her with concern. Her stomach clenched at the sight of him. She had missed him, and not just his physical presence. She missed the close bond they’d once shared.
“Papa?”
He looked uncomfortable. She cleared her throat and tried again. “Papa, may we speak alone?”
“Aye, of course.” He answered gruffly. The other inhabitants of the chamber excused themselves immediately.
When they were alone, Papa moved closer, taking a seat gingerly beside her on the bed. “Are you certain you’re well?”
“Aye, Papa. Everything is well. My health is improving, and I couldn’t be happier with my marriage.” She took a deep breath. “Please let me apologize for what happened in your study on my wedding day. I can’t bear for us to be at odds anymore.”
He held up a hand to halt her. “There’s no need to discuss what happened. ‘Tis in the pas
t.”
She took a deep breath, needing to apologize anyway. But this was such a delicate subject. “But papa- I lied to you that day, and I’m so sorry.” Heat crept across her face. “I told you I’d given my virginity away, but really I only said it to make you call off the wedding. I see now you only had my best interests at heart in regards to Paul, and I should have known you’d never marry me off to a terrible man.”
“Ah, Izzy. I am sorry I forced you to it, though. We needed the funds, ‘tis the truth, but I should have let you follow your own heart. I didn’t realize, until I believed we might truly lose you.”
She reached out and clasped his hand with hers and shuddered in relief. He squeezed her fingers. “But you did, Papa, you did let me follow my heart. I met a man before my wedding, and I fell in love with him. He told me his name was Julian. He only neglected to tell me his full name was Ramsay Julian James Maitland. So you see, Papa, I would have chosen Ram no matter what.”
His eyes looked suspiciously moist. “Is that the truth?”
Tears formed in her eyes too. She’d never seen her father shed a tear. Not when Cromwell executed his friend and monarch, nor when they’d had to leave their beloved home, or through the long years of exile. “’Tis the honest truth. The rogue tricked me, but by the time I discovered the truth, I already loved him.” She held his hand tighter. “Oh Papa. I love you.”
He leaned down and wrapped his arms around her in a great bear hug, as he’d done when she was a child. “I love you too, daughter.”
***
Ram sank exhausted into a chair in his father’s study. Lucien took the seat across the desk after retrieving a decanter and two tumblers. He filled one and handed it to Ram, who took it gratefully. Lucien wore a thoughtful expression, so Ram leaned back in his chair, content to wait until his friend was ready to talk.
He thought of Izzy, of how close he’d come to losing her, both from illness and sheer foolishness, and he shuddered. How had he talked himself into believing he could ever let her go? Thank God and all his saints she was stubborn and clever and had used the promise he’d made on their wedding night against him.
He was immensely glad he’d let her, for he’d been wrong. He wasn’t better off without her and she wasn’t better off without him. Since his will had crumbled and he’d vowed his love, the Izzy he adored had returned. She was vivacious and alive and utterly appealing even in her sickbed. She was the girl he’d known at the crofter’s cottage and everything was finally as it was meant to be. Now, with all of the horrors behind them, he could focus his attention on loving her for the rest of his life.
He warmed with the knowledge he would see her every night before he went to sleep and every morning when he woke, and countless moments in between. He missed her now, and he’d scarcely been away from her for quarter of an hour. It was foolish and unreasonable and he’d never been so happy.
He studied Lucien surreptitiously. Had he ever felt like that about a woman? Did he feel that way about Belinda? Izzy’s cousin was a lovely girl, but Ram couldn’t imagine her inspiring wild passion in a man, but love was strange that way. If Lucien felt even a portion of what he felt for Izzy, he and Belinda would do very well together, indeed. Ram had to admit that for a man who’d always proclaimed he’d remain a bachelor in perpetuity, he looked remarkably calm in the face of his newly announced betrothal. What the hell had happened, anyway?
“Lucien?”
“Oh, bloody hell. Let’s get the interrogation over with already!”
Ram fought to hide a grin. “Care to tell me what changed since I last saw you? Usually when a betrothal happens this fast it’s because two young lovers have been caught doing something they shouldn’t have done. Is there anything you’d like to share?” A grin escaped despite his best attempts. “Miss Spencer is now my relative by marriage. That means I have the right to beat the hell out of you if you ever behave dishonorably toward her.”
“You can try.” Lucien grinned and then sighed. “And aye, you have the right of it. Izzy’s parents found us in somewhat awkward circumstances.”
Ram couldn’t choke back a laugh of disbelief. . How fascinating. “You were caught with Miss Spencer?” Perhaps Izzy’s shy cousin had a side to her only one special man would ever know.
“I’d appreciate if you didn’t refer to my betrothed in that tone.”
Ram poured himself another drink, relishing the burn of the liquor as it slid down his throat. “Why don’t you explain exactly what happened, rather than have me drag it out of you, bit by bit.”
“It’s your bloody fault, you know. It was your suggestion I escort her here in my carriage.”
“If you decided to debauch her in a carriage, certainly you were smart enough to have drawn the curtains tightly, were you not?”
“Nay, it wasn’t anything like that. Inclement weather forced us to stop at a very crowded inn. And of course there was only one room to let and barely enough room in the stable for my driver. Belinda was to take the bed and I was to sleep on the floor. In the most unfortunate of coincidences, Izzy’s parents stopped at the inn before us for the same reason and were in the eating room when we arrived. They saw us go upstairs together.” He took a sip of his drink. “When they came to the room, I was wearing naught but my breeches and Belinda, though wrapped in a blanket, wore nothing but her chemise.” Before Ram could even ask, Lucien continued. “We got soaked on the dash inside. We had to get out of our garments to let them dry. But the damage was done and needless to say, your father-in-law was none too pleased at the circumstance. The betrothal was decided upon in a matter of minutes.”
This, then, was not a good thing. If passion hadn’t caused the betrothal it was better for Lucien to back out now. If honor forced Lucien into a marriage he didn’t want he’d be miserable, and likely he’d make Belinda miserable too. “Then she wasn’t truly compromised, was she? Lucien, Beaumont is an honorable enough man. Offer to fund Belinda’s dowry, for I know her parents didn’t leave her anything, and as long as no one else was privy to the events at the inn…” He lost his train of thought when Lucien flushed. Bloody hell. When was the last time that happened? “You said nothing occurred at the inn?”
“Nay, nothing happened. At the inn.”
Ram stared in thought until understanding at Lucien’s discomfort dawned. “You couldn’t keep your hands off the girl in the carriage?”
Lucien’s face turned an even deeper shade of red. Ram was flabbergasted. “She’s not even the sort of woman you usually even fancy! Bloody hell, Lucien, what were you thinking? Might she be with child?”
Lucien’s gaze slammed to his, eyes wide with indignation. “Nay!” He blew out a breath. “If I’d gone that far in the carriage why would I deny myself at the inn?”
A valid point. Ram sighed in relief. “At least you still have some honor left.” He sloshed the remaining contents of his drink around in the tumbler. “I assume Beaumont knows nothing of what occurred in the carriage. You could still find a way out.”
“Hell, Ram. I’m nine and twenty years of age. It’s about time I think about a wife and a family anyway, don’t you agree?”
Ram sat back, dumbfounded. “You want to marry her? Are we referring to the same woman? Belinda Spencer? The timid one, with, and I quote directly from a libertine at court who has quite the reputation with the ladies, “no fire?”
“Would you stop saying her name like that?” Lucien snapped through gritted teeth. “There’s nothing in the least objectionable about the woman.” Ram stared at him as Lucien muttered something that sounded like, “she has more fire than any woman ought ever have.”
Nay, there wasn’t anything objectionable about Belinda at all. She was quite lovely, in fact, and Ram was very fond of her. But he couldn’t help but compare her to Izzy. Belinda lacked the vivaciousness and stubborn streak that charmed him so in her cousin. But perhaps a wife like Belinda would be best for Lucien. He needed a wife that wouldn’t lead him a merry chase the way
Izzy did with him. The man was already spooked enough by the idea of marriage, a gentle woman would be better.
He stood and went to Lucien’s side, clapping his shoulder in a tight grip. “Congratulations, Lucien. I do believe there’s no woman better suited for you than Belinda Spencer. And with your marriage, we’ll be family. Cousins by marriage.”
Lucien smiled and raised his glass in a mock salute. “If you repeat this to anyone, I’ll deny it. But seeing what you share with Izzy, though trying at times, has made me realize that what I lack in life might be exactly what I need the most. I hope I find that sort of affection with Belinda. I’m already quite fond of her and marriages have begun on far less.”
If Lucien was willing to marry the woman, he must already have strong feelings for her, beyond mere fondness. Ram smiled, conjuring an image of the innocent vixen waiting for him upstairs. “I pray you find it too, my friend, for what I have with Izzy is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
***
Izzy picked at a string coming loose from her coverlet. Papa had left her alone over an hour ago and neither Ram nor Belinda had returned since. She was going mad with the need to question Belinda and find out how she’d gone from barely knowing Lucien only a few days ago, to becoming his betrothed today.
She was moments away from climbing out of bed to look for Belinda herself, even at the risk of a scolding from Ram, when the door opened and Belinda peeked her head in.
“Izzy! Don’t you dare get out of bed! What do you need? I’ll be happy to get it for you.” Her cousin bustled over to the bedside. Izzy’s hand snaked out and grasped Belinda’s arm, pulling her down into the chair beside the bed.
“I need to talk to you! I was going downstairs to find you. What on Earth happened, Bel? How did you come to be betrothed to Lucien? And so quickly? Were you keeping your courtship secret from me?”
“Oh! ‘Twas nothing like that, Izzy.” Belinda winced. “The circumstances are quite mortifying, actually. Your parents found us sharing a room together in an inn.”
Izzy’s mouth dropped open. “You?”
Virtue and Vice Page 39